DISCLAIMER: I own your mom. And your pet cat. Other than that? I own a hamster. I'll trade you Nimrod for 50 bucks. And the wheel comes for free. All this to say? Suing me will get you one squeaky-wheeled hamster. Heck yeah.
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"What would you do for a Klondike bar?" The question was one that seared it's way through Mortimer's mind. Every single waking friggin' moment since the day before, he'd been pondering that horrible theme song along with all of it's terrible implications. What WOULD he do for a Klondike bar?
Agitated, he flipped on the TV in his room on the secret HUGE island just off the coast of New York. The movie FACE/OFF was playing.
"You want to take his face off?" "Yes, his face… right off." As the second speaker walks away in a coke-induced daze, the first looks to his friend. "He wants to take his face… off. … No more drugs for that man!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!! AAAHAHAHAAA!!!! That's so FUUUUNNNNNNY!!!!!!" Then the thought hit him. "I know what I would do!"
The thing above all things that would signify his devotion to receiving a Klondike bar would be… to give Sabertooth a haircut.