There was once time which I thought that love was everything, only now, when I realized that my love had betrayed me that I began to grow up from the childish ideas. Like all the beginnings of all relationship, the one who was in love was the blind one, and the blindness had affected me as well. We met during secondary school although we were in different class we tend to bump into each other as though it was predestined. But instead of all the love at first sight business, I hated him the moment I set sight on him, mainly because of the way he dressed, the closest thing I could relate him to would be a clown. His mannerism was unbearable, heck would anyone fall love with a guy like that?

I never spoke to him in person before and there was no way that I wanted too, however we are always thrown into circumstances that we would have to communicate with each other- such as inter house project work or inter class competition and even the mathematics and sciences debating group. I was always frustrated at the arrangement as that guy never does his part, no matter how many times I messaged him or called him, he would mysteriously disappear. In the end, all his parts have to be done by me. Which was unfair to the bone, our group nearly always comes in first place in any competition and therefore naturally he would get the same scores as the rest of us. There was nothing I could do; the teachers could not even carry out any measure against him. To me I believed that even the teachers were afraid of him as well.

During our last group work, he begins to procrastinate again. And it was the last straw for me, I slapped him in the face and scolded "moron" instead of being angry at me, he laughed which make me even more furious as it would mean that he was not treating me seriously. But I was just a girl, and just that moment, the weakness took over me…I broke down and cried…the last thing I could remember was the shocked face of that boy as I ran away from the now dead silent class.

After that dramatic event, I was anything but willing to return to school, knowing that half the class already known what happened, if I walked in right now, I would be the joke of the day. But of course, no one can escape school with parents like mine, after numerous beatings and scolding's I was still forced to school. When I arrived to school, their reaction was as predicted, the guys whistled while the girls congratulated me for the wrong reasons, it was as though an ostrich possessed me and all I wished for nothing more than to hide my face in some dirt so that I will not needed to see the rest of the world.

It continued for the rest of the day, until a bloodied man walked into our classroom during mother tongue class, and further more he was carrying a gun. We could tell that he was crazy as he was muttering as he pointed the gun at all of us, 42 terrified students plus one teacher. Unfortunately, it was as if I was terribly unlucky that day as I was sitting closest to the door, he pointed the gun at me first. Frightened and petrified, I started crying again. The gun man laughed as I heard the gun clicked. I was prepared to be shot when a saw a figure running head first towards the gun man, and to add to my shock, it was that guy. At the end of the day I was still alive although I did not want to admit it, that guy whom I called moron saved my life.

The third year passed quickly and so did the seasons, it was winter and was the ending of the year, that would mean that we were graduating already, after that day which he saved my life, we never spoke at all, although I did paid more attention to that guy to what he was doing and to what he said. We had a final year project and as usual, we were partnered together. I tried to talk only about work when I noticed that he was looking at me with a queer face. When I asked why, he told me that I have not thanked him for saving my life. I looked at him incredibly with half the mind to refuse, until reality hit me- he really did save my life. Without looking at me I thanked unwillingly. He smiled at that point I realized that his smile was quite nice looking with the impulse of hitting myself when I realized what I was thinking. After all, 2 years had passed ever since that day and he seemed too grown as well.

During those self reflections time, I did not notice that he was so near to me. Before I could say anything, he planted a kiss on my cheeks. It was probably then, that everything started. Telling the while story here might take forever; I decided to just write a poem of the days that we were together.

"It was fate that brought us together, two different lives that were tied together

Due to fate's mischievous acts, our dormant love bloomed

The façade of his disappeared the moment we kissed and

I knew then that he was the one, and he knew that I was true

After we graduated, fate brought us into the same place again, we found ourselves stuck together

As love had planned there was no way we could have escaped from each other

Soon he was the perfect guy; my love would shower me with loves every day, little cards that were far too sweet, balloons with my faces on them. Romantic dinners, fun outings all over the world. Every day was basked in sweetness and with greatness, filled with his love, with his thoughts all about me

And if I was in any trouble, he would become my superman and save me, my darling, my love.

There was no other person out there that could compare to him,

I will only live for him."

By this time, we were in our twenties heading to thirties. People who saw us would comment that we were meant to be, that we were the sweetest and the most disgusting couple around. Relatives would ask when we would get married; it was question that I wanted to know as well. I began dropping clues, subtitle clues to which he did not say anything, to that I realized that we were falling apart, the "I love you" were shorter lesser and distant as though it had meant nothing, if became as meaningless as good mornings and good night. We were talking lesser, and when we did, there was nothing to talk about. It would be filled with silence until one of us decides to go somewhere. Celebrations was much simpler and shorter even though the gifts were as expensive as ever, but that was not I wanted, all I wanted was integrity and true feelings in which none of gifts told me that. They were all diamonds, rubies and sometime even gold- all that were worthless in my eyes. All I wanted to have was the love that we had years and years ago.

I decided to bring this up to him, intending to find out if he was changing his heart about me. He eyes was glued to the television screen when I was talking to him. In the end I believed his answer was no, but could I really trust that answer? He did not look at me when he answered, in fact was he even listening? Worried out of my socks, I consulted two of my best friends, both of them said that it was okay, told me to use some tactics to win my man back and sadly I believed them. On the same day I joined them in an exciting night in a small pub only to return around 4am in the morning. With much disappointment to find out that my love was in bed and was not any worried that I was not home. He groaned and wonders if morning coffee was ready. I could not help it, was that prove that our love was diminishing?

"Dear, We have been together for so long

I could read your heart inside out, yet now I cannot read anything but thick static

What happened to our love? Did I do something wrong? Was it something that I said?

Why would not you tell the truth?

Why do I have to dig so much just to find out the truth or is it the truth at all?

My heart aches at the very thought that we might be losing touch of each other

My soul hurts every time I believed that you cared no more

My body dying to be touched by your love once more

Why are doubts so painful? I did not even see this coming was it my fault that all this started?

Love is so complicated when it becomes like this, where is the love? Where is the trust?

And all the "I love you" that you said

Still ringing through my mind even though the last time you said it

Was months and months ago, I still love you the same.

So please…love me again…"