If Ever I Would Leave You
By C.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never was, never will be...
Rating: PG-13 (Language)
Placement: Set between "Queen of Hearts" and "The Cricket Game" (IE - Emma and Snow are back, and Cora's well on her way but not here yet.)
Summary: Emma is restless and a small form of comfort is unknowingly provided to her... The first step towards Swan Queen vs Cora.
Is there anybody going to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
- Beatles
Chapter One - The Girl Who Came To Stay
The first time Emma hears it, she swears it's a dream.
If asked about it later, she would say she felt it more than heard it... The singsongy melody, sweet and wordless.
She was asleep and felt the brush of a breeze float over her body, the cooling sensation bringing some much needed relief to her fevered dreams. Her eyes open and she lets the sounds wash over her without realizing. She lets her breath catch up to her racing mind as she watches the moonlight slide slowly along her walls. Despite what people might think, being the Savior isn't an easy role to slip into, and certainly not an easy one to have thrust upon you like it was in her case. Her nights are constantly filled with dreams about witches and goblins and fairies and wolves. Things her foster parents would tell her were not true, not real. Even Archie would say they were manifestations of her self-conscious but then again, what does he know? He got his degree with the wave of a witch's hand.
The feeling stops, but Emma doesn't realize it. She's distracted by her room plunging into darkness momentarily. She bolts upright and the moment passes. The cloud that eclipsed the moon passes and Emma can feel an almost soothing sensation overtake her from the roots of her hair to the ends. It's a familiar, but distant emotion it brings about but it lets her lie back down and close her eyes.
She swears she can feel that sound again but is too tired, too exhausted to question it...
Perhaps... Tomorrow...
Emma doesn't know much magic except for the old "got your nose" trick, and to be honest, she doesn't want to know more.
As she walks along the fog swallowed waterfront she just wants everything to be before she blew out the candle on her cupcake, before the kid walked back into her life and dragged her here.
She doesn't regret the kid, Henry is amazing and without a doubt the best thing she ever could've done but even she's not stupid enough to claim all of his good as hers, even if everyone else did. Emma knew a large part of Henry and his innate awesomeness was due to the woman who raised him, pushed him, taught him, protected him and even loved him. Not to say Emma didn't realize that Regina also messed the kid up, royally, but she did best with the choices she had. That is something Emma has learned over time - that everyone tries to make the best decision with the information they have. Sometimes it's the wrong one, but they pick the one they think is the best one. No one goes out to actively fuck up their lives, no matter what others may think. Regina gave Henry everything she could - Emma believed that.
Emma zips herself up against the cold wind blowing off the water, but walks undeterred, determined. If anyone saw the Sheriff, they'd see her marching with direction, with a destination, but the truth was, Emma had no direction and no destination. Not just today, but every day since her return from Fairy Tale Land. There was always an end goal... Operation Cobra, save Henry, return to Storybrooke - something. But today there was nothing, not even a cat stuck in a tree.
She felt something wash over her, something familiar, but distant. She can't put a name to it but she feels it drawing her closer and closer to the edge of the pier. As the fog shifts, she can see a figure in black leaning against the rail. Emma sighs, throws her head back and shakes her arms and blond hair in a silent tantrum. She knows the figure. She can turn back, but there's nothing to go back for. There's nothing to go forward to, either. The familiar feeling that washed over her stops. "Good morning Miss Swan." The voice that greets her is as chilly as the wind that carries it to Emma. "Regina." Emma returns, bridging the distance between the two of them until she's leaning against the wooden rail of the pier, her arms resting on top of them. They stand there, inches and worlds apart, both looking out into the dense fog. Emma eventually sneaks a sideways glance at Regina beside her. She's wrapped in a dark cloak with a hood over her hair. She can't tell it it's a remnant of her Evil Queen days or a reproduction, but it suits her. Her face is flushed and her lips are maroon and set firmly in a line. Her right hand leans over the rail and her hand slowly turns as if she's stirring a cup of coffee, or conducting an orchestra. Emma's eye is drawn down where she sees the murky, dark waters swirling down, down, down like an endless kitchen drain. It feels like something is on the verge of happening, she can practically smell it, feel it on her skin - but it's still too far away. It's like seeing something move in the periphery but when you turn, it disappears. She wonders if Regina can feel it. If that's the reason for the nervous energy rolling off the other woman despite her stoic stillness.
She smirks as she pulls her eyes away and off into the distance. Apparently her return from the far off and magical land messed her up more than she knows if she can feel people's energy and future events. She sighs and crosses her arms. "Nice water show." She comments, nodding her head towards the whirlpool.
Regina says nothing. She stops mid spin and crosses her arms under her cloak. Emma nods, acknowledging Regina's silence. "You said you wouldn't use magic anymore."
"And you said you wouldn't take Henry away from me... What can I say Sheriff?" Her lips curl up in an approximation of a sneer, but her voice is exhausted, unable to carry the bite it used to.
"Do you want me to say I'm sorry? I'm not." Emma isn't. She never set out to claim Henry. And she didn't want to take him completely away from Regina. But it was clear that he needed her. And Regina had seemed to give up... And Emma...
"I didn't think you were."
Regina spins on her heel and for a brief moment Emma can smell Regina's familiar perfume, but with her cloak spinning around her, she can see the Evil Queen of yore. She can see why everyone is afraid of her. Even with an unknown reach of powers - she's still an imposing figure. Emma turns around and leans against the pier and watches as Regina glides off, disappears in a haze of fog and purple smoke, leaving the Sheriff to wonder how much was magic and how much was mist.
It happens again.
She wakes up at night in a panic. Her dream was terrifying but vague. All she can remember was standing on the edge of the pier as the winds blew and lightening lit up the sky revealing Regina, in all of her glory hovering in front of her, leading an army of tidal waves. She remembers waves leaping up towards her, over her, crashing behind her, Regina's mouth opening but hearing nothing but the howling of winds.
She's breathing hard but can't sit up. She's cold but can't bring herself to grab the spare blanket at the foot of the bed. She can't do anything but think about the dream, of Regina's eyes flashing violet and violent. Emma can't help but think she's missing something. She tries to think about the dream, trying to tease out some detail, trying to remember what it was that Regina was shouting at her but she can't make it out.
If only she could focus, if only she could stay awake long enough. She can't help but think the dream means something.
If only she could stay awake.
But the familiar feeling washed over her, reminding her of when one of her foster mothers would stroke her hair as she went to sleep.
When Emma's alarm rang, waking her up, she couldn't help but snuggle deeper into her blankets and her bed.
She didn't even wonder how the extra blanket ended up on her.