Ok, I found this story buried deep in the back of my documents folder. Must have written it ages ago, and I think it was the first Remus/Tonks story I wrote, but I never published it. I have gone through it, checked through my terrible grammar and I apologise if this story does turn out to be a load of rubbish! I have no excuses except that I was younger and less experience with writing when I first wrote this.

Disclaimer: I am not, and never will be J. K. Rowling, and as much as I wish I could own her characters, I do not and again, I never will! :(

Drink to the night.

She apparated on the grimy street which was Grimmauld Place. In fact, before the nights events had threatened to engulf her, she had sprinted mindlessly to Hogsmead and disapparated at once. She carefully walked up the crumbling steps and tapped the door, a little left of the sleek serpent knocker, with her wand. The door swung open soundlessly and she made her way down the dimly lit hall. She was careful to be quiet and, by some miracle, managed to achieve this. She could hear voices from the kitchen at the end of the hall. She remembered the first time she entered Grimmauld Place and had first heard the laughter of her soon to be friends. Sirius and Remus. Remus.

When she first met him she completely forgot he was a werewolf, he was charming and sweet. When Sirius got in a mood, he would stand up for her if he snapped. They had become friends and soon she was growing closer to him, wanting to be around him. Her heart ached whenever he was out of her sight, even if for a moment. She loved everything about him, from his shabby clothes to his amber eyes, and the chocolate brown hair(Streaked with the occasional grey). She had told him that she loved him at the end of last year, and he seemed happy about it, but then he fled in 'fear' of what he was doing. She could still feel the warmth of his lips on hers...

No, Nymphadora she inwardly cursed herself, You can't think about this now. She was right, she had just reached the door and pushed it open. When she walked in her eyes wondered around the room, taking in Mad-eye who was slumped in the corner, Mundungus who was sitting at the table, pipe in his mouth and his head bowed. Kingsley was sitting at the table swigging what looked like firewhisky. Mad-eye stumped over to her and pulled her into a brief one armed hug.

"How you baring up?" he growled, it was a friendly growl but a growl nonetheless.

"I'm fine" she said, in a tone that deceived nobody. For the first time she had stopped tonight, she felt tired and weak. Mad-eye steered her into the nearest, and oldest, wooden chair at the table. A few minutes later, he had poured a glass of firewhisky for her and put it into her hand.

"Against the pain and suffering" he said, in a gruff low voice, raising his own glass. She followed suit and drank up, feeling her insides burn with every sip, it was like a breath of fresh air in her lungs. Moody sat beside her. His electric blue eye, aswell as his normal one, were looking straight at her, both full of concern.

"Auror Tonks" came Kingsley's deep, but shaky voice. She looked across the table at him. "You have suffered a lot tonight, no doubt. So if you dare set foot in work tomorrow, you'll regret it".

"Thanks" she mumbled highly relieved.

She sat alone at the table now, Kingsley and Mad-eye had gone home and Mundungus had gone Merlin knows where. She had had alot to drink, and she didn't feel tipsy. Granted, she hadn't even stood up. She had her glass and dusty bottle of firewhisky next to her. She had been trying to drown her sorrows, deciding to stop feeling sorry for herself, and drink to the night. She couldn't think straight anymore.

She poured herself another glass and downed it in one swallow. She had just finished the bottle, so threw it at the wall, where it promptly smashed into a thousand pieces. She wasn't bothered. She stood up, and then fell on the floor as her legs felt like jelly and began to laugh stupidly. Soon she had picked herself up and made her way, slightly duckfooted, to the cabinet with the other drinks. The door bell buzzed from a far off distance and Mrs. Blacks portrait started screaming.

Tonks ignored her and started braking open a bottle of butterbeer. The front door shut and soon after, the screeches had stopped. Tonks deducted that who ever it was, was inside the house now. Just then the kitchen door creaked open and Remus stepped into the room, looking tired and anxious. She hid that she was glad to see him, and turned her smile into a sneer before taking large gulps of butterbeer.

He looked around the damp and dreary kitchen, there was broken glass all over the floor and the fire had almost gone out. He looked back at her, her head was tilted back as she drank, and her greasy, mousy hair was gliding elegantly down her back.

"Nymphadora, don't keep drinking" he said in a small voice.

"I'll do what I like Mister Lupin" her words were slurred "And names are for friends so it's Tonks! You no longer have the priviledge of calling me Nymphadora".

"Nymp...Tonks, I need too...".

"Need to what?" She said, highly patronizing. Her girly screeches pierced him like a knife. She stumbled a little in her tipsy manner. He knew at once why she'd done this to herself, and guilt oozed through every part of his body.

"Tonks, please listen" he started but again she interrupted, opening yet another bottle of firewhisky.

"No, you listen" she said threateningly "I don't care anymore! I don't care. Do you think I want to be like this? Lifes to short, so you have to be pretty damn sure how you want to live it. But I don't anymore, know why? Know why?" her voice rose hysterically, "Because some stupid sodding werewolf got into my head and I stupidly fell in love with him. I love him so much" the last five words came as a whimper.

"Tonks, i'm sorry" he said, pitifully.

"Oh, take your sodding speeches and your no good apologize's and stick em' where the sun down shine". She advanced on him, still duckfooted and very drunk. Her face was menacing. He looked at her, he was afraid of her, what he'd made her, what he'd done. Oh Merlin he thought, Nymphadora, my beautiful Nymphadora, what have I done to you?

"Nymphadora" he said pleadingly. Big mistake.

"Don't call me NYMPHADORA!" she screamed, chucking her bottle at him, which narrowly missed his left ear.

She advanced quickly at him but tripped over her own feet and fell to the floor. He made his way over to her and saw she wasn't hurt. She was lying on the floor, breathing rapidly and looking as if asleep. He stood over her wondering what to do. She couldn't stay here, Where do I take her? ...

She woke up feeling dazed, her head was spinning and her stomach was churning. She put her hand to her forhead and whimpered. She tried to remember what had happened last night, but it was all a blur. Though, judging by what she felt, she had drunk alot. She opened her eyes, and became suddenly aware of the strange surroundings.

Sunlight was streaming through the small, cracked windows. Squinting at the beams of light, she saw dust particles dancing in them. The bed she was laying in was soft and warm, though the quilt was patched in places and the edges were slightly frayed. Sitting up a little, she saw the nearest bedpost had a chunk missing out of it and the floor was highly scuffed. Despite the shabby appearance, the room felt warm and comfortable. And now she could open her eyes properly and the room had stopped spinning so much.

The room was small and had very little furniture, and she liked it. This is a lovely little room, but it could do with brightening up, she thought looking at the bare walls.

She could smell something, wafting into the room. And now she'd smelt it, she felt very hungry indeed. She pulled the covers off her and slipped out of bed, she could feel her feet and the pain in her head got worse but the sweet smell was egging her on.

Moving to the door, one hand on her head as if trying to hold the pain back, she wrenched it open with the over hand. She was revealed to a narrow, but bright hallway. She sniffed slightly, and heard a hiss from inside the room of the door at the end of the corridor. She moved up to it, wondering who lived here but then realised it was obvious at the same time.

Remus. Oh dear she thought, he found me drunk. What happened last night? Think, Nympthadora, think! And then it came back to her, her own voice rang suddenly in her ears, a terrible scream of... "Don't call me NYMPHADORA!" She remembered how she had screamed at him and, even chucked things!! She had completely lost the plot, feeling ashamed she peeped round the door. He was sitting at the table, eating dippy eggs and looking quite pale. She cleared her throat to announce her presence.

She wished immediately that she hadn't. The moment she did she felt something rise from her stomach. Remus seemed to notice this too, as he rushed up to her and dragged her to the sink, before she promptly threw up. He poured her a glass of water and watched as she drank it, running his hand through her hair and making soothing noises. She looked up at her reflection in the window in front of her, she didn't look like Tonks, she looked like a ghost.

"That's the last time I get drunk" she mumbled "I look like a monster". He suddenly became interested in his shoes as she turned and looked at him. He seemed determined not to make eye contact though his hand was still in her hair.

"I acted like a monster" she muttered, miserably.

"No you didn't" he replied looking up at her, but she wasn't convinced.

"I was, i'm sorry".

"Don't be, I deserved it. I was so awful to you this year, you didn't deserve that" he said, ashamedly. She said nothing, she just turned to the window as if determined to make him talk on. There was so much he could say, how he felt for her, what pain he'd gone through, how ashamed he was of what he'd done, but none of which came out. Instead he whispered..."I missed you".

She snapped her eyes back to him at these words, studying him. He had his same old jumper on and a look of a strained man. She supposed that Dumbledores death and her violence had hit him hard. Part of her was happy that he finally knew what it felt like, the other was ashamed of what she'd done.

"I missed you too" she mumbled. He smiled sadly at her.

"You need to get back to bed" he said.

"But i'm hungry" she moaned, looking at the eggs.

"If your lucky, later i'll bring you some boiled eggs and soliders" he said, pointing at the door.

She moved over to it, then looked back. "I still love you" she whispered so low that she thought he hadn't heard, then she made her way back to the bedroom.

"I love you too, Nymphadora" he muttered back, sitting at the table once more.

She woke up as abruptly as if someone had screamed in her ear. Looking down at her body she saw that it blended with the bed. Someone had put a disillusion charm on her. She snatched her wand up from the bedside table and made herself visible again, then chucked the wand on the bed and moved to the door. Just as she opened the door, she heard a strangled yelp of pain and a growl that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She quickly moved down the opposite way of the hall and looked round the door of the nearest room. In there was Remus being pinned down by a man, who had him by the throat.

"Your a traitor, Lupin. You disrespectful child. We took you in, gave you a decent home. Then I find out your Dumbledore's little stooge" said the man she now recognised from last night, Fenrir Greyback.

"If you call that hell hole a home, then your standards are low. Shouldn't you be getting back to your vile master now?" spat Remus back.

"Mind if I have a bite?" said Greyback, menacing "I've never killed another werewolf before, i'd love to know what it's like, could be fun"!

"No" she said to loudly. They both looked around at her, Greybacks eyes shined with glee, Remus's had that 'Oh merlin no' sorta look. He jumped off Remus and grabbed her by the hair, pinning her against the door frame. He stunk of sweat and blood, she felt sick and started to struggle and cried out in fright.

"Got yourself a little girlfriend Moony? Oh I like ripping womens throats, tender aren't they? Delicious delicious" he said menacingly, licking his lips. Tonks cringed and tried to move out of his grasp.

"Don't you dare" said Remus, struggling to get up, he was badly wounded.

"Your forget, i'm a daring wolf" he said, running his fingers up her neck. Remus saw red and pounced at him, shoving him off of Tonks and against the opposite wall. Nymphadora fell onto the floor.

"Go on then" taunted Greyback "We both know you don't got it in you".

"Nymphadora, don't look" Remus pleaded.

She closed her eyes and covered her ears though she could still hear scraping, banging and howling. Soon it had stopped and she felt it was safe to open her eyes. Remus was lying on the floor, breathing heavily and Greyback was nowhere to be found.

"Remus" she whispered, getting up. She made her way over to him and tried to make him face her, but he shrugged her off.

"Don't touch me" he said, harshly "I don't want you to see".

"Remus, I want to. Let me help you, please" she said, laying her hand on his shoulder. He turned to her. His mouth and arms were bloody and his eyes were dark slits. She had never seen this side of him before, and stifled a gasp. He knew she was scared though, her eyes gave her away.

He wiped his mouth of his sleeeve and staggered up. "I think i'll get changed" he said, quietly, leaving the room. She sat on the armchair in the corner.

Ten minutes later he came back in, his mouth and clothes were clean but one sleeve was rolled up and there was a badly tied bandage over a large slash. He sat on the sofa, furthest from her and avoided her percing gaze. She went over and started untying the bandage, intending to do it properly, but he pushed her away. She sat down on the sofa next to him, but he pushed himself deeper into the cushions.

"Remus" she whispered, rather hurt by his manner.

"Dora, please go. You don't need this, didn't that tell you what I am. I'm a monster and you saw what I did. You don't need to cope with it" he said, bitterly. He had never intended for her to see him like this, and he'd never attacked someone like that before, and it didn't feel good, it made his flesh crawl.

"Remus, I want to cope with it" she said, wrapping the bandage around his wound, and tightening it. He gasped in pain a little when she knotted it. Then they sat in silence, not knowing what to say to eachother. Finally the silence became to awkward, and one of them had to speak.

"If your feeling well enough, you should go home" said Remus in a small voice.

"No" said Nymphadora, stubbornly "You say this proves your a monster, I say it proves you need me. I want to be the one to patch you up and look after you. I don't care about that other rubbish".

"But I should be looking after you, not the other way round" he said, argumentatively. She needed to prove this was what she wanted. How can I make him see?

"You saved my life, you put yourself in danger to protect me. You care about me more than any man has before. Whenever i'm around you, my heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest, and I can never stop smiling. Remus believe me, it's weird for me too. I've never felt like this before and now you keep pushing me away. Your hurting me more this way. Why won't you let me love you?" she asked, desperately.

"I'm scared. Do you think i've felt like this before? I fear losing control, and when i'm around you I can't, can't help but, but...want you. I mean you drive me crazy and you really are terribly clumsy but I can never stop thinking about you. Your constantly on my mind". She smiled, he must love me.

"Remus, see this" she said, tugging at a lock of brown hair, he turned to look at her. "My appearance reflects my mood. I'm upset, sad and lonely so it turns my natural colour, brown. Greasy and horrible. I can't be bothered to wash it, what's the point"?

"And I did this too you?" he asked. She nodded and his eyes filled with tears as he turned away. "I never wanted to hurt you".

"Doesn't matter, you didn't mean to" she said, shrugging.

"You'll never let this drop, will you?"

"Remus, please look at me". He turned his head, and she lent in and kissed him. He couldn't resist her any longer, he knew it was time to give up. He kissed her softly back. She'd won. "Absoulutely not".

"I'm glad to hear it" he said, "though you won't have to fight any more". She kissed him again.

"Do you love me?" asked Tonks as she pulled out of the kiss.

"Yes, Do you love me?" he asked, slyly.

"What do you think?". She layed down on the sofa and pulled him on top of her, giggling. They rolled around like a couple of teenagers, before kissing again.

"God, your gorgeous" he said, looking down at her "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Remus, yes. And I am gorgeous aren't I?" she giggled cheekily, pulling him close once more and vowing never to let him go. Her hair turned bright blue.

"I think I prefer pink" he said, smirking.

"So do I" she said changing it, then putting her lips on his once more.

Ok, so what did you think? Please let me know, your opinion counts!! *cookies* Review x