What not to Wear
"Uh Peach? Your feet are bleeding," Samus informed her, as she removed her suit in preparation for sleep.
"Yeah, and they hurt bad too," Peach whined, falling with a graceless thump onto her bed. I just bought these new shoes, and wanted to show them off at the tournament yesterday," she explained, gesturing to a blood specked pair of glittering pink heals on the floor.
"You wore those yesterday?" Samus thundered.
"Of course I did. I have to please my fans, plus Mario and Luigi too.
Samus shrugged, completely speechless, and then climbed into bed.
"What's wrong with me wearing those shoes?"
The better question is what's right about you wearing those shoes. I've been your roommate at the mansion for God knows how long, and every day after a tournament you come home and complain about your feet."
"I do not."
"Yeah you really do though."
"Well at least I don't criticize others for how they live their lives."
"You do that too, but whatever. Goodnight."
"
Peach rolled over on to her side, and quickly fell asleep.
"The next day, Samus and Lucina got together to practice for the next tournament, which was to take place within the next two days.
"Wanna trade roommates with me?" Samus asked in a huff, sending one of her missiles at her friend.
"No. I think I'm fine with mine," Lucina responded, jumping out of the way of the projectile, and then rolling forward.
"Peach is just so irritating though. Always complaining about her stupid feet and her stupid problems. I mean really. How can she have problems? She has help with running her kingdom and everything.
"Just because she has a lot doesn't mean she doesn't have problems," Lucina pointed out.
"She can just use money to buy her problems away," Samus replied, avoiding Lucina's sword swipe.
"Not all problems can be bought though."
"I don't really care either way. I just wish she'd stop complaining about her stupid feet all the time. It's her fault anyway's. I mean really though. She wears a long heavy dress and heals for fights. How dense can she be?"
"Maybe no one has taught her any different," Lucina suggested.
"Maybe, but she sees all the stuff we wear to the tournament. Why can't she just copy that stuff?"
Lucina shrugged.
"Come to think of it, Zelda, and Rosalina do the same stuff," Samus observed, side stepping away from the weapon coming at her.
"There are others too. Like Link for example. Who told him a tunic was fighting garb," Lucina scoffed.
"I know, and his hat? He's just looking for a chance for the thing to fall in his eyes.
Lucina nodded. "I have an idea. What if we get some of them together and help them pick out a better fighting outfit?"
"This sounds bad. Really bad. I don't know if that's such a good idea."
"I'm sure they will all be more than willing to listen to suggestions. We can help them."
"I guess. It might work."
"Yeah. Talk to Peach tonight, and tell her that we are going to do a girls night out.
"But isn't Link coming?"
"Yeah, but you know Link," Lucina said with a crooked smile.
Samus nodded while laughing at the joke. They continued to practice for an other couple hours before heading inside the manner. As Samus was heading to her room, she happened to run in to Peach.
"Oh, sorry," Peach mumbled, hurrying to get to their bedroom.
"Hey hold on a second. Lucina and I are putting together a girl's day. You should come.
"You do girl's days?" Peach asked skeptically.
"Uh ... yeah. I am a girl, so yeah. Do you wanna come or not?"
"Sure I'll come."
"Cool. Meet Lucina and I at Brother's Burgers."
"Sounds good," Peach said, heading in to the chamber.
Samus followed behind.
The next day, Peach entered Brother's Burgers and saw more people from the mansion than she thought.
"Hey Peachy! Over here!" Samus called, waving frantically at her.
Peach nodded and headed her direction.
"Hey, so why is Link here?" Peach questioned.
"To be with so many pretty girls," he responded.
Lucina chuckled when Zelda elbowed Link in the side..
So why is Link here then?" Peach asked once again.
"He's one of the girls today," Zelda said with a giggle.
"Excuuuuuuuuse me, princess, but I'm more a man than any of the other Smashers. Why did you bring me here anyway. I was taking a nap."
"You've been lazing around all day. It was about time someone woke you up," Zelda replied.
Link grumbled under his breath until Zelda glared daggers at him. He cleared his throat and then quieted. Peach pulled up a seat next to Zelda.
"So Now that we're all here," Lucina started, biting her lip uneasily. I want to talk about some issues.
"Why do I need to be here? I'm an angel," Link said with a grin.
Zelda elbowed him again.
"It's a dress code issue. I notice a lot of the Smash women are wearing heals and dresses while fighting during the tournament.
"I only wore that dress that one time," Link protested.
Everyone accept Samus broke in to roaring laughter.
"Will you people let Lucina talk?" she demanded harshly.
Everyone grew silent instantly.
"Thanks, Samus."
"Hold on. Samus told you to do this because she thinks I complain too much about my feet."
"You do," Lucina and Samus said simultaneously.
"Haven't you heard the saying beauty is pain?"
"Yes, but you come in second to last in every tournament," Lucina said.
"I remember when you came behind even Jiggly Puff," Samus spat.
"I don't really care," Peach protested. I don't really like the tournament. It's so violent.
"Well, yeah, but today, I'm going to talk about how to make it less painful after all the fighting is over, so hush, people. When we finish eating here, I'm going to go in to all your rooms and look at each of your wardrobes.
They all nodded unanimously. Once they had finished eating, they headed back to the mansion.
"We'll do your closet first, Peach," Lucina commanded.
Samus opened their locked door, giving the sword's woman entry. Link, Zelda, Samus, Peach, and Rosalina followed behind.
"This is ridiculously, and might I add, my wardrobe and what I where to fights is none of your business!"
"I tend to agree with Peach," Rosalina followed in a quiet tone.
"I'm sorry, but when you guys complain over and over and over about your stupid feet you made it my business," Samus snarled.
"Cat fight! Cat fight!" Link cheered, thrusting his arm up in the air.
"Shut up, Link," Zelda snapped, elbowing him in the ribs.
"Well excuuuse ..."
"Don't you dare say it, pretty boy," Samus commanded.
"Hey I'm not a boy. I'm a man," he protested.
"Will you all shut up?" Lucina snapped. "This is meant to be educational. Nothing else ok? If you wanna keep wearing what you're wearing that's your business, not mine. I'm just trying to help, and further more, you all are acting like a bunch of children.
"Sorry, Lucina, but I'd like to do this without Samus here," Peach said.
"No. You do need to stop whining all the time."
"Samus grinned in triumph.
"And Samus, you need to be a little nicer to her."
Samus huffed and nodded resignedly.
"Now, let's see what we have here," Lucina said, opening the wardrobe.
Pink dresses stretched before the group. They were long, and heavy with material.
"Ok. Each of these looks exactly the same. Why do you have the same dress like 1000 times?" Samus questioned.
"They aren't all the same. The pattern on each one is slightly different, and all of them are in fashion," Peach replied.
Samus rolled her eyes.
"They're all horrible for fighting, Peach. I don't know how you don't trip in these."
"Years of practice."
"Well send them back to your kingdom. We're gonna get you a different outfit.," Lucina explained.
This time it was Peach that rolled her eyes."
"Enough with the stupid dresses. Just look at her shoes," Samus said, indicating the shoe rack.
"Wow," Lucina breathed, picking up a long-healed shoe."
"Be careful! Those are the only pair of it's kind. They were a present from our kingdom's shoemaker, who's dead now. Put that back."
"Lucina gently placed the shoe where she had found it."
"So you don't fight in those?" she asked.
"Of course not. I fight in these," she answered, picking up a pair of pink heals that were taller than the one Lucina had grabbed.
"Those are too tall for even me," Zelda stated.
"I'd love to see you in those, princess Zelda," Link said.
"Never," she responded.
"You can't where these while fighting, Peach. Over time, your feet will become deformed," Lucina informed her.
"I don't think so," Peach argued.
"Well, how about this. How about we go to the mall, and I pick all of you guys out outfits, and if you hate them, you can where whatever you want."
Peach nodded, her face sour.
After Lucina looked over everyone's wardrobe save Samus, they headed to Fightmart, who's slogan was "You Brawl? We got it all!"
"What about this?" Lucina told Peach, indicating a hot pink spandex top and pants.
"Oh no! That's too bright!"
"Ok. How about this one. She pointed to an outfit, which was a paler pink.
"Oh no! Too little color. It would surely not do."
Lucina sighed.
"Fine. Then you pick one, and none is not an option. This is the only Fightmart in town."
"Fine!" she cried, grabbing the hot pink outfit, and storming off.
"This is not going so well," Lucina said to Samus, as she joined her.
"It's going exactly as I thought it would."
"Well, it wouldn't be going so bad if you weren't so abrasive. seriously! I love you, but quit it. The moment I gain ground with her, you act rude, and I lose what I gained."
"She just makes me so furious. I can't help it, but for you, I'll try."
"Thank you."
Samus nodded and wondered off.
"Did you find anything, guys?" Lucina asked Zelda, and Link.
"Yeah. I like this purple top and shorts. I even found shoes to match," Zelda said, presenting it to her."
"That's perfect," Lucina stated, admiring the clothes.
"I basically found the same thing in green," Link stated.
"You don't have to, but maybe some gloves will feel nice, and give the skin on your hands a break," she suggested,.
"Yeah. I didn't think about that. Thanks, Lucina. You're cute, and smart," he shot at her as she walked away.
Lucina was glad her back was turned to hide her blush.
"Did you find what you wanted, Rosalina?" she Queried.
"Indeed I did. Luma and I like the pale blue dresses they have here."
"That's what you have at home. How about this," she suggested, pulling a shirt and pants from their hangers, which were the same color as the dress.
"I suppose I could wear that," Rosalina said, taking the garments.
"You would look cute in it. I'm glad you like it."
"Thanks."
Lucina went to join Samus. When Peach exited the dressing room, Lucina noticed tear tracks on her cheeks.
"Oh dear," she mumbled.
"Cry baby," Samus muttered.
"You're a bully sometimes," Lucina shot at her.
She went to join Peach near the dressing room door.
"Did the clothes not fit?" she asked, patting Peach on the shoulder.
"They did," she choked. "I just didn't know everyone hated me so much."
"No one hates you."
"Yeah they do."
"No they don't. They just want you to tone down the complaining just a little bit. And furthermore, I did this so that you, Zelda, Link, and Rosalina wouldn't be miserable.
"You did?"
Yeah. I did, and coming from a princess, there's a time to look beautiful, and then there is a time to look like a sexy fighter."
"Thanks, Lucina. I do like the outfit. It is kind of cute."
"Go and put it on. I bet it looks great."
"All right," Peach answered, heading back in to the small closet sized room.
It seemed like almost an hour before she reemerged.
"Wow!" Lucina exclaimed. Peach was wearing her long hair in a scrunchy, and her tiny frame was clad in the form-fitting garb.
"That looks great!" Lucina cried enthusiastically. Now let's just find you some shoes."
"And how about after we're done here, we go back to the mansion, and we all do a fashion show in front of everyone.
"That's a great idea!" Peach cried, jumping up and down. And wow. That really is much better without heals on."
"Yep. I told you."
"When everyone had bought and paid for their clothes, they hurried back to the smash mansion.
"Why have you gathered us all here?" Master hand asked, looking bored.
"Well, I wanted to put on a fashion show for everyone to see the some awesome girl power.
"Ha ha! Link's a girl!" Bowser junior called, cackling.
All the children burst in to giggles.
"Hey!" Link shot back from behind a curtain.
"Well, come out, guys," Lucina exclaimed.
Peach came out first in her ponytail, and flipped it over her shoulder. Mario and Luigi clapped. Peach gave them a dazzling smile, and joined the rest of the smashers.
Next came Zelda in her cute little purple outfit, her hair in a tight bun. She waved dramatically, and joined Peach.
"Link came out next in a green tube top, and tight green shorts to match.
"Are you kidding me?" Zelda demanded. "He said he was going to get something totally different."
Everyone giggled at the display. Link did an impressive cartwheel off stage.
Last came Rosalina in her pale blue garb. She simply glided gracefully to where everyone else stood. Lucina beamed happily. Even Samus seemed pleased.
"Well that was idiotic," Crazy Hand grumbled, blasting the ceiling with energy.
"No, Crazy Hand," Master hand shrieked, pulling him out of the room. With that, everyone filed out.
"Good job guys!" Lucina called, waving at Peach and Zelda.
Peach nodded at her and smiled.
"well, problem solved," Samus said, walking away from Lucina.
"I guess, but I'm just glad I was able to teach them something, and help them improve.
"That too."
"Wanna go practice?"
"Sure. Let's do it."
With that, they headed out in to the darkened courtyard, where they could brawl in peace.5C