Note: If you like silly stories but hate serious fights, read chapters 1, 3-7, and 9-10. If you like serious fights but hate silly jokes, read chapters 2,8, and 11 on. If you like both, read the whole thing.
You know the drill, I don't own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters, Blah, Blah, Blah. Okay, let's go.
Chapter 1: Shino vs. Temari
The announcer begins the semi-final rules (rough translation). "Everyone gets to beat up on each other in one on one duels! If one contestant gets beaten up so badly it is obvious he will lose, I will declare the other's victory. If someone dies, their opponent wins. If someone gives up, their opponent wins. Now for random lineups."
The digital screen (quite a weird combination with knife-throwing ninjas) displays two pictures and names. Shino and Temari!
The two contestants go over to the field. Naruto bounces around in the background, angry that he wasn't first. Shino and Temari stare at each other. After a few moments the announcer reminds them that they can start.
Temari swings her fan as hard as she can. Almost no gust at all flies at Shino and he ignores it. She looks, surprised and sees that her fan is bladeless, a metal frame covered in bugs. She roars in anger, holds the fan skeleton between her fingers, and charges as Shino. She swings her metal poles straight through "Shino". He collapses into a pile of bugs.
The real Shino stands behind Temari, about to place one kunai horizontally in front of her throat, the other vertically behind it. She spins around, sees him, and swings at him with her "claw". He leaps backward, throwing the kunai while midair.
Temari spins her weapon in an impossibly quick circle, catching the kunai with it and knocking them away. She then leaps at Shino, swinging her club/claw thingie.
Shino lands from his jump horizontally. Just before landing, he reaches his arm behind his back, grabs the white part of Temari's fan from below him, and swings it out in front of him as a shield.
Temari's fan parts clash as their owner tries to force her opponent to be pinned under the fan. Then she feels something creeping on her hands and feet. She feels sharp pains in her hands causing her to release her grip. She dodges a kick from Shino and tries to kick back, only to discover that her feet are weighed down by thousands of bugs.
Shino raises up, grabs Temari's hands and forces them together. The bugs latch together into a sort of full hand handcuff.
Shino then places his kunai to her head and asks for her surrender, only to hear her refusal.
After a few minutes of watching the girl struggling helplessly, the anouncer calls it Shino's win.
Note: Yes, this was a short chapter. Get used to it. Oh, by the way, did you notice the Wolverine reference? (I do not own the X-men, unfortunantly). On another note, I am not crazy, I just will pretend to be to make this story funnier.