"I want to change."
I said those words so many times, and I didn't understand what I meant. People don't change because they want to. Not because of a new dress or a pair of shoes, though Erika had a point that it did help, sort of. People certainly don't change themselves overnight on a whim.
The only thing that truly changes who you are is what you do. Your experiences and the effect on the people you love, that's how you change.
Erika, bless her, probably won't understand that. As much as I truly love her, she's as easily distracted as a magpie in a glitter factory most of the time. Big, deep thoughts just aren't what Kurumi Erika is about. But the clothes do help. They draw attention to what you want the world to see, and that shapes what people say and do around you. But that wasn't what made me change. Because, even as the rising star in academics in my school, I still have a secret. A secret shared by less than twenty people still alive, at least twenty people living on this world.
My name is Hanasaki Tsubomi. But I once went by another name. I was, and I am, Cure Blossom. Successor of Cure Flower, and the strongest Precure in history.
I didn't start that way. I think Sasorina was just trying to provoke me when she called me "weakest" in my first fight, but I screwed up pretty bad. I'm just not athletic or graceful by nature. I wanted to change because I hated that, how I would freeze and stiffen up in front of crowds. My grades weren't good because I couldn't force myself to stand out. They weren't bad, but just 'okay.' Now I've proven I can do better, especially with help from Momoka and Yuri. Mostly Yuri.
So...I nearly screwed up, and my first friend in my new town almost paid the price. Those first few times, so many people nearly died. But, and I hate to say something like this. I really do. I know it will sound cold, but that helped, a lot. If people hadn't almost died, I wouldn't have been able to cope with what happened later. But losing Erika would have been the worst, even if I didn't know it at the time.
The next time I almost gave up was when Erika became Cure Marine. She wasn't really a fighter, but she had practiced for those fashion shows. And I'm pretty sure she has no sense of personal shame. Which worked for her as Marine. Sometimes she looked so silly I thought I would laugh in the middle of a fight, but she did get the job done no matter what. But she was better than me, and I sometimes got this niggling thought, that maybe, it would be better to just forget the whole thing and leave being Precure to her.
Except she really needed me too. Marine was a better Cure than Blossom, but she still had her fair share of mess-ups. Chypre and Coffret having to save her from the water Desertarian...I don't think I've ever seen anyone as blissed out as Erika was after I had to hit her with my Forte wave to get her out of that mess.
Itsuki? Well, of course she's beautiful, especially with long hair. So she looks like a boy...okay, maybe I still have a little of that crush. But only a little.
And Coppe...look, I don't want to talk about that, it's just creepy now.
But yeah. Once I got past Itsuki's prettiness, I saw...well, she seemed sad and lonely. I thought that inviting her to the fashion club would be good for her, and I think it was. But it was even better for us. On the one hand, we really needed a third voice. Itsuki balanced us out, and made us take things seriously. Not that we didn't before, but we kept trying to forget about the times we lost. That was just...stupid.
I know about the kung-fu thing. It was the right choice, but I made it for...well, some of the right reasons, and some of the wrong ones. I thought it would fix things. But it wasn't until Itsuki came in and really started teaching us that we got good at all. I...needed it, but I'm never going to fight again, so I don't now.
But I guess that brings us to Yuri-san. I don't know what the others would say, but seeing her Heart's Flower wilted almost to death was...I don't have words. I know about her partner, and I just can't imagine how that must have felt. Chypre was one of the most important people in my life. It must have felt like having her own heart cut out. And she still had the strength to help us, time and time again, with only a sliver of her heart in it.
I'll just say it. Yuri-san is the most amazing person I have ever met, and I can only hope to show half the courage she did in the rest of my life.
That's why...I want to go back. I'm fifteen years old, but I know the future I want to see. I said to the others I just want to go into space, but after looking into it a bit, I've settled on exactly what I want to do. It may take all of my lifetime, and maybe more, but I want to walk on the surface of Mars, breathe in the fresh air, and smell the flowers I planted there.
Because it's impossible. Because everyone thinks it can't be done. And because I'm not done changing things about myself yet.