quick authors note: the first flashback is not verbatim, so please don't hold me to that. I haven't seen that episode in who even knows how long. Also, I worked on this all day (because this has been in my head for the past few days and I know I'm not going to be able to work on my novel until I get this out of my system) and I'm super excited about this, and today's writing (especially as we get more towards the end of the story) just proved to me again why I want to write for a living. So if you could review, that would seriously make my day and everyone who is reading this, you are such lovely people and I hope you enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.
present day
"What I don't understand Yacker, is if you never stopped liking me, then why did you break up with me last summer? Everything was going so well, and then boom. Just like that."
"I really don't want to talk about it."
"Patricia. Just tell me."
"Okay, fine. It's not that I ever stopped liking you, it's-" She paused. She really didn't want to say it.
last term
"I think I'm falling for you, Yacker. All I have to do is hear your whiney little voice and I turn to mush."
Thank God he was blindfolded because Patricia froze at his words. No, this was not supposed to happen. He wasn't allowed to fall in love with her. Love would just lead to heartbreak and disaster, and her parents were living proof. She let his words go. Fingers crossed that this was never mentioned again and she would just forget about it and they could move on with their lives. He wasn't allowed to fall in love with her because that meant that there was a chance that she would start loving him, and that just wasn't okay because like she said, love just leads to heartbreak and Patricia wasn't going to put herself through that. She couldn't.
Patricia thought everything was okay because they carried on dating, and she really did like him, but the love thing was never mentioned which really relieved her. She wouldn't have to deal with it and she was very happy about that. But then came summer.
summer 2012
Eddie had invited Patricia to stay with him in America for a month in July during summer break, and Patricia agreed because as much as she might deny it, she really missed him and his slimeball face. The first three weeks went swimmingly. She got to see where he grew up, and he showed her his adolescent hiding spots he went to when he didn't want to deal with his mother and her overbearing consistence towards stopping his troublemaking ways. (and since they were very good hiding spots, they may have also snogged a bit there, but no one else needed to know that bit of information.) He introduced her to some of his American friends, and he took her to his favourite places. It was really wonderful, and they were both so happy.
Week four was when everything went wrong. It needn't be told that they were getting quite serious: relationship-wise. For heaven's sake, she was living with him in another country for a month and they still weren't sick of each other.
They were in one of his better hiding spots when it all happened. They were pretty far into the woods that sat in his backyard, sitting on the cleanest log they could find, and Patricia was a bit jumpy.
"Hey Yacker, what's wrong?" he asked, looking straight at her.
"Nothing," she said. He looked at her skeptically. He didn't believe it for a second. "Sorry. It's just weird hiding in the woods without having to worry about getting murdered."
"I know what you mean."
"What are you talking about? You didn't even know about anything until the end of term."
"Not about the-" he corrected himself. "Just, I get it. It's nice not having to worry about my life being in danger for once. Being the Osirion and all."
"When are you going to drop that?"
"I don't know what you're-"
"I'm the Osirion!" she mocked in a deep voice. "I saved the world from Senkhara and evil." Dropping the voice, she added. "We get it. You're a hero."
"I'm sorry," he said, placing a hand on hers. He relaxed when she didn't shake it off. "It' s just really big news. I'm still trying to adjust to it. Sometimes I still have to convince myself that it actually happened and that I didn't just imagine it. All that was actually real. And I'm not a hero."
"Yes, you are," she said softly.
"No. I was just doing what I was supposed to do. That doesn't make me a hero."
"You're a hero anyways. If it weren't for you, either Joy or Nina would be dead right now. I know I don't say this a lot, but thank you," she said, and he wrapped an arm around her waist.
"Anytime," he said. By now, their faces were really close and before he realized what was happening, she had shifted her position and wrapped her arms around his neck and his were around her, and they were kissing. Really really kissing in a sense that he was really glad Joy wasn't here to interrupt them because she probably wouldn't be too happy with them if she were. A hand was now in her hair, and he was supporting her waist with an arm to be sure that she didn't fall off of the log and ruin a fantastic moment.
A few minutes of this and now he had pulled her hand and led her up and to a tree and her back was now against it, and it was scratching her a bit, but she really didn't care. Their arms were around each other and they were still really really kissing each other (some would consider it snogging), and they were both out of breath, but still didn't want to stop at all. He reluctantly pulled back, face red from lack of oxygen, and still all he could do was smile at her. God, he loved her.
Now his face was red from this realization, and he was so grateful he could blame it on his need for air. He thought that he was falling for her last term, but this...this made that seem like a silly infatuation. Eddie thought he didn't do relationships and love and all that, but then he met Patricia and it was like he was seeing everything in a new light. He forgot why he was so turned off from relationships and she easily became the best thing about his day. Looking at her all out of breath and hair a mess (his fault) smiling at him, he couldn't stop smiling either and was just glowing. He was sure of it now. Yeah, he really loved her. He knew she wasn't a fan of the sappy relationship stuff either, and that was another reason he liked her so much, but that was all the more reason to let her know.
"Sorry," she managed to get out, smiling at him, and that glowing smile gave Eddie even more confidence. "I know the whole Osirion thing is new to you. It's new to all of us."
"It's alright." Eddie said, and grabbed Patricia's hand before walking back to the log, keeping their hands intertwined even when they had sit down. "Hey, Yacker?" he asked after a few moments of comfortable silence and she looked up from where she was drawing circles on the hand not connected with hers.
"Mmhm?" she asked, diverting her attention briefly from their hands.
"I love you." He looked at her with awe, and this time he didn't have a blindfold and could actually see her freeze. Her hand stopped drawing on his, and she was too in shock to move her other hand away. No no no no no. He wasn't supposed to do this. He wasn't supposed to fall in love with her. By the way he was looking at her right now, she could tell he was serious, and that meant they were super serious, and that freaked her out because she was pretty sure she might love him too, and that wasn't okay.
"Um, maybe we should head back. Your mum will probably be wondering where we are," she said nervously. He better not make a big deal about her not saying it back.
"Okay, if that's what you want," he said, looking a little hurt. She kept her hand locked in his and kissed him briefly on the mouth after they stood up. It wasn't that she didn't love him. The problem was that she did. If she let herself get any deeper and things went wrong, she didn't think she'd be able to bear it. She'd seen love gone wrong, and she wasn't going to allow that to happen to her. It was hard enough already.
Back at the house, with Mrs. Miller in plain sight, Patricia excused herself from Eddie and his mom in the most subtle way possible.
"I'm going to call Joy, alright? We haven't spoken in a while."
"Hey Patricia, did I do something wrong?" Eddie asked, pulling her to the side and out of earshot of his mother, grabbing her hand. They both knew something was wrong here because he actually called her by his name. That always meant something was up.
"No," she said, voice void of emotion. "I just-" She pulled away. "I need to be alone."
"Is it something I said?" he asked.
"No," she said, sounding exasperated. "I'll talk to you later."
But she never did. She shut herself in the room that night and came out for dinner, but wasn't her usually chatty self. She spend the remainder of the week with Eddie acting like nothing had happened when really, everything had changed. They had short kisses and chatted as usual, but with one twist. They had no deep conversations. Eddie tried to bring up that afternoon in the woods, but Patricia would either change the subject or just start kissing him to shut him up. Two days later she left, and this was the real clincher.
She broke up with him. She really didn't want to, but considering how he felt about her, she didn't have a choice. They were at the airport, and she had a few minutes until it was time to board when she snapped her request.
"Eddie, I really need to talk to you."
"Okay." Finally, he thought. Now maybe he'd know why she'd been acting so weird, and maybe she'd return his affectionate confession. He wasn't mad that she hadn't said it back. So maybe she didn't love him yet. That was okay, because they had plenty of time for her feelings to grow.
"I think we need to break up, okay?" Or not.
"Uh, what?" It's fair to say that Eddie was even more confused now.
"Yeah. I can't do this. Sorry."
"Patricia, I don't understand. I thought we were-" He was interrupted by a loud voice.
"Flight 214 may now begin boarding."
"That's me," Patricia said, and adjusted her carry-on bag so it was fully on her shoulder.
"Patricia, Yacker, if I did something wrong, just tell me." But she started walking. If she stayed any longer, she was going to start crying, and she couldn't have him seeing that, especially not now. She stopped for another second so she could have the final word.
"I'm sorry Eddie. I just can't do this anymore. Have a good rest of your summer holiday." And she walked away, handing in her ticket and walking through the terminal without even a glance back, and Eddie was just shocked. He stared at Patricia until she was out of his line of sight. What had just happened?
He drove home numbly. The radio was off, and he didn't even honk at the cars that cut him off on the highway. He drove silently and it was as if his senses weren't working properly because he couldn't believe that had just happened and he was seriously in shock and didn't know what to do.
"Are you okay?" his mom asked when he got home. He wasn't talking, and he wasn't acting as someone who had just dropped his girlfriend off at the airport should act, and she knew immediately that something was up. She had raised him until he turned 16, after all. Eddie didn't want to answer, but she was bound to find out eventually so he tried to say something, but it turned out he didn't even know what to say.
"What happened?" she tried again. Eddie sat down on the couch and tried to form words, thoughts, anything. Everything was weird and so sudden and so real and he didn't like it.
"I don't know," he managed to sputter out before taking out his phone. No texts from Patricia. He wasn't sure why he thought she would text him, but one could always hope. He was kind of desperate for answers.
"Is it Patricia?" she offered, hoping to help.
"Of course it's Patricia. It's always her." He was sure she didn't grasp the double meaning in that phrase, but it was definitely there. Everything was always going to be about Patricia. His life, and mind, for that matter, revolved around her now, and there wasn't a chance of that changing.
"And?"
Eddie struggled to phrase this correctly, and to actually find the will to say something. He didn't see the correlation at the time he put together the sentence, but he did know that these two things were true. "I told Patricia I love her. And she broke up with me." That was where the knowledge ended.
"Oh, Eddison!" his mother said, walking over to comfort him.
"Mom, it's Eddie. And don't." He got up from the couch and headed towards the hallway. "I just need to process this and be alone, okay?"
She reluctantly nodded and let him be. Still in shock, he went to his room and shut the door. He laid on his bed, glancing over at a picture of Patricia and him from last term; a few months back. Amber had snapped it and sent it to them, and as much as both he and Patricia were annoyed of Amber's scrapbooking habits, he really loved that he had a tangible memory of it. It was after the closing of the exhibition and the defeat of Senkhara, and somehow he'd been able to convince her to dance with him, and to a slow song, no less. They were staring at each other, and at this point, he was in the process of falling in love with her, so the glow in his face was very obvious. He remembered that he'd kissed her again right after the song was over, and he was so glad that he hadn't lost Patricia to Senkhara. He didn't know what he would have done. But what difference did it make? He'd kind of just lost her in a different kind of way.
Looking at this picture, he got why he didn't do relationships before. They end, and when you're in love, it really sucks.
present day
"Okay, fine. It's not that I ever stopped liking you, it's-" She paused. She really didn't want to say it. "Eddie, I really don't want to talk about this. Can we change the subject, please?"
"Okay, you said please. You're being polite. Now we have to talk about it."
"Eddie, I really don't think this is the time to-"
Eddie grabbed both of her hands in his and spoke softly. "I won't be mad." They were sitting on his bed, and Fabian was out with KT working on homework that he hadn't begun, but he really didn't care about that right now. Patricia was his sole focus. "Please just tell me."
Patricia sighed. "Fine," she groaned. He was just being so nice about it and he really deserved to know and she loved him-
Oh God, not this again. Patricia really needed to get over this stupid commitment fear. It wasn't doing her any good and she was too in love with Eddie to not be with him so it seemed she didn't have another choice unless she wanted things to end again because he thought she didn't trust him.
"You want to know why I broke things off?"
"Yes. That's what I've been trying to ask you all night."
"The whole time I was in America, everything was perfect at first, but then I realized how serious we were getting and it freaked me out."
"Yacker-" he began, but she cut him off again.
"But then you told me you loved me, and what were you thinking?" she spat, and his eyed opened wide. She brought it up.
"Patricia," he said calmly. "That's nothing to freak out about. If you don't love me yet, that's okay. I get it."
"That's not the problem!" she said, getting worked up. "It's not that I don't, the problem is that I do love you!" Realizing what came out of her mouth, and without her brain's consent, Patricia froze, but not before snapping her mouth shut. Eddie could see in her eyes that she hadn't meant to say it, but he smiled because that could only mean one thing. She meant it. She meant what she said.
"Yacker?"
"What?" she nearly shouted, and gave up pretending certain words hadn't just come out of her mouth. "Yeah, yeah, big deal."
"Yeah," he said, repeating her words, but in a very different tone. "Yeah. Big deal."
"What are you talking about?"
"You don't get it, do you?" Eddie said, raising his voice.
"Get what?" she asked with a similar volume, getting annoyed at him. She'd just confessed her love for him (without her permission, thank you very much), and he was deliberately starting an argument. Great way to get on your girlfriend's good side.
He fiercely pulled his lips to hers, and before she even had a chance to respond (or not respond), he pulled back. Patricia's eyes were wide, and so he had to get his words out before she got the chance to thrash out at him.
"That I'm in love with you and there's nothing that's ever going to change that. Yacker, you need to get this the hell into your head. I am in love with you," he said slowly. "It's always been you ever since I came here, and if you don't believe me by now, maybe you're not as bright as I thought."
Patricia stared at him. In love. That did change things. She was so caught up in his words that she didn't even realize he'd sort of just insulted her.
"It's not that I don't believe you," she sputtered. "It's just. Hell, screw it." She didn't even care anymore. She didn't care that there was a very good chance that this would break her heart and she didn't care what Joy said about Eddie changing his mind. She loved him. She pressed her mouth against his feverishly and wrapped her arms around him.
"Oh my God, I love you so much," she said, pulling back slightly for only a brief moment before connecting lips again, and she was almost crying and she didn't care because it was the most true thing she'd said in her entire life.
"Yacker," he managed to say through kisses. "You know I love you. So so much. And I don't care what Joy says, or Jerome, or anyone. I'm not going to change my mind."
"Don't ever let me break up with you again," she said, tears coming out of her eyes, and Eddie paused to wipe them before gently pushing her so she was laying down and he was on top of her, and lips were on lips again. Hands were in hair, and legs were tangled in legs, and both Patricia and Eddie were pretty sure they'd never been so happy in their lives.
"Hey Eddie, I was wondering if you've seen my phone. I thought I left it in here, but I don't see-" Fabian walked in, but stopped talking when he looked towards Eddie's bed, where Eddie and Patricia separated themselves from each other, fixing their hair and clothes quickly as to appear nonchalant, which really didn't work at all. Anyone with half a brain would be able to figure out what they had just walked in on. "Oh! I'll come back later," he said awkwardly, rushing out of the room and closing the door.
Patricia brushed her fingers through her hair, tidying the mess that Eddie had made of it, and Eddie did the same with his clothes, especially his shirt that had somehow made it's way onto the floor during their episode.
"Thanks Fabian," Eddie said to no one in particular.
"Hey, he's better than Joy," Patricia said, wrapping an arm around Eddie's waist. "I love Joy. I really do, but I don't think she's caught onto the whole kissing and privacy thing yet. At least Fabian knew enough to leave and close the door."
As if on cue, the door creaked just as Patricia started to kiss him again, and this time it was someone who was notorious for coming in at the worst possible moments. They pulled their mouths back, and Patricia tried to fix her hair more thoroughly so that it wasn't obvious what had just happened, but it was no use.
"Hey Patricia, I thought you'd be here." Looking up, her tone of voice changed completely. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Innocent eyes coming in." Patricia and Eddie looked up, very red in the face, though whether it was from the kissing or from the knowledge that they weren't very good at being nonchalant, they weren't sure.
Eddie spoke not out of annoyance, but as a subtle reminder that she might want to learn to knock first. "Good timing Joy."