Prologue

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Minako zipped up her bag, and let out a huge sigh of relief, since the zipper finally decided to cooperate with her and close. She purposely fell backwards on her bed, and stretched out her arms, remembering how good it felt to just relax and lie down.

For most of the day, she was either kneeling or crouching around her room, deciding on what stuff to bring to her final destination tomorrow. It was going to be her permanent home, until she finished high school, and that thought made her shiver with a little anxiety, but mostly excitement. She couldn't wait to move out of her grandparents' place. Besides, I'm not the only one who wants me out of here, she thought, trying to hide her sadness with a smirk.

She sat up and reached out for her blank notebook on top of her desk, and laid back down, holding it up in the air. She felt the smooth front cover, designed with horizontal stripes of red, orange, and pink, which she couldn't resist the urge to buy when she went school shopping yesterday.

Minako promised herself that she'd start writing a diary when her life was worth writing about, and she felt it was the time.

After a bit of thinking and contemplating, she rolled on her belly and reached down with her head hanging low, digging through her newly packed school bag for a pen, then quickly sat up on her bed with her back against the wall, with her knees up high where she laid out her notebook, and started writing.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Dear Diary,

It's finally my time. Starting tomorrow, I'll be staying in one place, for more than a year...with no jumping house-to-house, relative-to-relative, school-to-school. I can finally get out of here, get out of my grandparents' house. Ever since I moved to this place, I could already sense how they truly felt about me. Bitter, because they had another mouth to feed...because their grandchild was a helpless one who needed others to watch over her.

Of course, they couldn't have said no about me staying with them, because they knew my parents are up there, watching us. Watching them, and expecting them to take care of me. Well they have to, since I am their grandchild after all.

I could already see behind their plastic, insincere smiles, ever since they had to force themselves to take care of me. Did they really think that it was hard for THEM? I couldn't do a thing, because no one taught me how to cook, or whatever...my parents weren't here long enough to teach me...and even though I know it's not entirely my fault, I've always had this feeling of guilt that I have to always depend on others, and butt in their lives.

I felt like a hot potato being thrown back and forth, nonstop in the air, when each of my relatives had to take care of me...like, no one wanted to come and hold me; get close to me. They just dumped food for me like I was a dog...

You don't know how unwanted I felt for 10 years. I didn't expect pity, I just wanted to be...accepted. Even after trying to converse with my grandparents to at least have some small talk, all I got was a quick, uninterested reply with one of their masked smiles. Even after attempting to act like a polite child, I didn't get anything in return. And that's when I gave up and realized I had no one...but myself.

I finally thought of a way to not depend on others anymore, and my plan started as soon as I turned sixteen. I signed up for Gekkoukan High through the internet, hoping I'd get admitted; yes, the school in the town I once called home: Iwatodai.

It was also the place where my parents...died. The start of it all. But I really didn't wanna leave...not with my parents' death as my last memory there. My goal is to start my independent life there; to make good memories so I can have at least some good stories to tell my parents. And to make up for my not-so-good past.

And tomorrow, it's all going to happen. I remember yesterday, before I got that miracle phone call of me getting the last spot in the school...I was about to bawl out. But I did, bawl out...with tears of joy. This...is seriously a miracle.

Whoa, I wrote a lot for a first entry. This will be the end of me thinking about my past. I just had to clear my head and write it all in here...to get ready for my new start tomorrow!