I do not own Star Trek, any of the canon characters, nor do I make any profit from my writings. Now that you have been advised of these facts, go ahead and lose yourself in the story.

He Even Lost Himself

Spock had not exaggerated when he told young James Kirk that he had been emotionally compromised. It was actually more of an understatement. Spock was devastated.

He had spent two years of his life living among the Romulans, seeking to assist those who wanted reunification with Vulcan. During that time, it was discovered that Romulus was about to be destroyed by a super nova.

Spock returned to Vulcan and with the assistance of scientists from the Vulcan Science Academy, had devised a plan to use red matter to stop the star's destructive force.

Unfortunately, he was too late. The star went super nova while Spock was en route and Romulus was destroyed. He deployed the red matter to prevent the destruction of other worlds, resulting in the black hole through which he and Nero traveled into the past of an alternate universe.

Spock had failed and Nero held him responsible for his pain. Nero came through the black hole first, waiting twenty-five years for Spock to appear, twenty-five years in which to plan his revenge. He sought to destroy not only Spock, but all of Vulcan, and the whole of the Federation if possible.

Nero captured Spock and the red matter, marooning him on Delta Vega, where Vulcan could be seen in the daytime sky. While Spock watched, his planet and people were destroyed.

If it had not been for James T. Kirk, a younger version of himself, and the crew of the Enterprise, Nero might have been entirely successful.

Spock hoped that Vulcan still existed in the universe he had left behind. The bonds he had with his mate Saavik and their children simply ceased to exist. They did not "snap" in the manner that Vulcan healers described a link broken by sudden death. Spock wanted to believe his family was still alive in the world where he had left them. However, Spock had no way to return to them.

He convinced himself that this was another universe, not just earlier in the time line. There were just too many differences between the two for it to not be so.

There were minor differences in the appearances of his friends. His Jim had hazel eyes, while this younger one had blue. The McCoy that Spock had known was blue-eyed, not brown.

Relationships were different. This younger version of himself had a romantic association with Nyota Uhura and was much closer to Sarek.

In his universe, Amanda Grayson had lived to a ripe old age, not killed in a planetary destruction.

Some of the most pronounced differences were found in the younger version of himself.

This Spock had accomplished far more at an earlier age. He was a Commander and an instructor at the Academy while still in his twenties. His list of academic and technological accomplishments was longer than his older counterpart's had been at the same age. He also seemed more emotional, more ruled by his passions, his humanity more apparent.

Not many knew Selek's identity and origin, just his family, a few Starfleet personnel, and the other Elders. Some of them had wanted to hold the older Spock responsible for his failure to rescue Romulus, and ultimately for Vulcan's destruction. At a Council meeting, Elder Tovorek had even stated that if Selek had not been part Human, perhaps he would have been sucessful in his mission.

Tovorek had regreted that statement almost as soon as he made it. He had reacted out of grief and pain, wanting someone to blame. However, if an Elder was capable of such thoughts, surely others would be as well.

The older Spock had much to offer his people. He had knowledge of possible future events and technologies, plus the wisdom of nearly 160 years. He had used this to find a new home world for the surviving Vulcans. Yet, two Spocks in the same time line would be confusing. This universe belonged to the younger one and it would be unfair for him to have to walk in the older one's shadow.

So, Selek had been "born," and given the name that older Spock had once used during a previous excursion into the past. The clan records were altered, showing Selek to be the brother of Skon. Older Spock became his own great-uncle.

Selek had lost everything, even himself.

Selek was given a place on the council of Elders due to his age and experience. He found this ironic, believing that such a thing never would have happened in the other universe, not to him, a hybrid.

Elder Selek tried to stay out of Spock and his friends' way, afraid he had influenced them too much already. In his limited dealings with his younger self, Selek had sensed apprehension and resentment. Whether he admitted it or not, on some level Spock held Selek responsible for the death of his mother and his planet. Though he had once served as a Federation Ambassador At Large, Selek thought it best to limit his dealings with Starfleet and to avoid interactions with the Enterprise crew for the time being.

Instead, he focused on helping to build the new Vulcan colony, acting as liaison between the Federation and New Vulcan. He was adept at reminding other worlds of the favors they owed to the Vulcans, enabling his people to get much of what they needed to establish a home and a culture.

When he had first gone to Romulus, Selek had been in the very early stages of Bendii Syndrome, a disease that usually affected elderly Vulcans. It was similar to Alzheimer's Disease in Humans. Selek had inherited the disease from his father Sarek, who had died from it. Though 160 was considered middle-aged for a Vulcan, Selek was half Human. It was also likely that the Genesis wave that had resurrected him had also matured him beyond his chronological age.

However, the Romulans had a preventative treatment for Bendii Syndrome, though it was not a cure. They used adhesive skin patches, treated with low levels nicotine and herbs, similar to those used hundreds of years before to wean Humans off their tobacco addictions. Selek gave this information to his family healer, T'Mena so she could treat Sarek and T'Pau and recommend it to Spock and any others who might need it.

As the colony on New Vulcan grew, a university was established in the city of New Sura'Kahr. Selek had trained others to take over trade negotiations, so he felt comfortable leaving the employ of the government to assume a teaching position. He now had leisure time, but nothing and no one to help him fill it.

That was until the day he decided to have lunch at the New Sura'Kahr Inn on opening day.