Twas a hard Beagles night before Christmas…
by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
My annual apology for being grumpy about Christmas.
With special thanks and apologies to Bijouled who wrote"As long as it's Illegal, then we'll be happy Beagles."
You didn't invent the idea of naughty people only getting
coal from Santa, but it did give me the idea for this story.
It was the night before Christmas, and where were the
Beagles? Trying to break into the Money Bin, where else?
Where were Launchpad and me? Trying to stop them, as
was Gizmoduck. If the Beagles don't get them night off,
neither do we.
The Beagles had ropes and were trying to scale the Bin.
Launchpad coated it with dry ice, which made it so cold
and slippery, the Beagles slid right off. (1)
Huey, Dewey and Louie and Webby joined in, pelting the Beagles with
snowballs from the "safety" of a snow fort- until the Beagles
started shooting at them. Mr. McDuck risked his life to get
the boys and Webby safely inside the Bin. There, they
used the Money Bin's defenses to harass and fight the Beagles.
This only slowed the Beagles down a moment. They tried
to batter their way in, only to be thwarted by Giz and his
gizmos.
Giz blocked the door and held the Beagles off. Launchpad
and I were in our planes, blinding the Beagles with searchlights,
"bombing" them with paint, hosing them with water under
high pressure.
This slowed the Beagles down enough that Giz had time to
built a jury-rigged "fence" to keep the Beagles out, and
Launchpad landed his plane and rigged it so it was electrical
enough to give the Beagles quite a shock (2).
I kept flying my plane, aiming the searching lights on Beagles,
bombing them with paint, then washing it off with high-pressured
water, harassing them with loud alarms, whatever I could.
Again, only slowed them down. Then, midnight chimed.
Before Launchpad could return to his plane and rejoin me
in harassing and delaying the Beagles….
We all saw him. Santa with his sleigh flew straight over Duckburg:
"Beagles, this is your last warning. If you don't stop this
naughty behavior RIGHT NOW, all you're getting for
Christmas is coal!"
The Beagles actually stopped a second.
"What do we get if we stop?" Big Time asked.
"What you need to find honest work." Santa
offered: "Musical instruments so that those of you
who can sing can make a comeback as musicians.
A cookbook for Burger, so he can make a
living as a chef… maybe write his own cookbooks?
Your skill as a planner would be useful in many honest
jobs…."
"WE'D RATHER HAVE THE COAL!" screamed
the Beagles in chorus.
"I'm afraid all you deserve is coal dust. Coal is worth
too much." Santa said, regretfully.
And a blizzard of coal dust came out of the sky, covering
only the Beagles. They were blinded by coal dust, their
clothes were stiff and coated in the stuff.
They were easy prey for the cops, who soon showed up
to haul them away. By then, Santa was gone, as if he'd
never been there...except for the coal dust, that is.
The End.
(1) Idea stolen from some stories in "Occupation: Hero" in coa inducks.
The one where Launchpad coated the bin with frosting for Mr. McD's
birthday, for instance.
(2) Idea stolen from box of mystery cartoons ducktalez3. (Back to normal)