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Sometimes Its Too Much, But We're Not Giving Up Just Yet
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"Hey, Saïx. Are you busy?" Demyx questioned as he walked into the older nobody's training area. Said nobody debated for a moment on if he should lie or not, but decided to answer with a short shake of the head. Demyx exhaled a long sigh of air he didn't know he'd been holding and approached Saïx, stopping to stand a couple of feet away from him. He looked out at the half-finished moon and frowned.
"What did you come here for, Number IX?" Saïx asked in monotone, clearly having little interest in whatever the sitarist wanted.
"Well.. I was just wondering if you remember life before you became a nobody? You know, like the emotions that you felt?" Figures. Demyx was always asking about other people's past emotions.
"Yes, I remember. But it's irrelevant now. How many times do I have to tell you that," asked Saïx, exasperated. He was begining to get the feeling that he shouldn't have told the blonde he wasn't busy. More often than not, he ended up going berserk on the boy because of these stupid questions.
"Well.. Do you remember what it felt like to.. To love anyone," Demyx asked instead of answering. His voice was low, almost as if he expected to be lectured for being nosey. The question wasn't one Saïx had expected, however, so he didn't start on his usual rant about how Demyx was asking too many questions, and he needed to get lost. Instead, he turned to look at the other nobody.
"Yes, I remember. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was just wondering.. It's been so long, you know? I don't want to forget what it feels like, so I was hoping you could describe it for me, so I could remember." The blonde was looking at the floor, purposely avoiding his superior's gaze. He knew he was asking a bit much, but he really didn't want to forget.
"No."
Demyx's head snapped up. "No?"
"No. I won't describe it for you."
"But.." Saïx winced mentally at how quickly the musician's eyes watered up. The emotion was fake, he knew, but it all looked so real. "But, why not, Saïx?"
"I can't. You can't describe a feeling like love. Its not possible. You can feel it and nothing else." He turned away as the tears began to fall from the younger Nobody's eyes.
"Can.. Can you show me?"
"I never knew a love that you would want to see. I just remember what it felt like to be in love." Saïx wanted badly to leave. This wasn't something he wanted to talk about, especially not to Demyx, of all people. The pain wasn't real, he knew, but it hurt anyways. It hurt terribly to know that he had never actually been loved by someone. He didn't notice that he had started crying until Demyx's arms had wrapped around him from behind, startling him from his thoughts.
"Don't cry, Saïx.. It's okay.." Demyx's voice sounded so broken, how could he be trying to comfort Saïx when his own non-existant heart was breaking? The arms around his waist tightened as Demyx himself shook with silent sobs. He laced their fingers together, gently showing Demyx affection that they both were always told wasn't real. Nothing around them was real, and they weren't meant to exist, so why did they hurt so badly? Frowning, Saïx let go of the younger nobody's hands and pulled away. He rounded on the blonde, fixing him with an indescribable look before pulling him into a warm embrace without warning.
As suddenly as he had initated it, he ended it, pulling away, and still with that indescribable look on his face, he left.
Demyx couldn't keep the grin off his face, even has he continued to cry silently. Saïx had understood. That was more than enough for him.
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