Disclaimer: Clearly the characters do not belong to me, or I would be
making millions out of them, not writing fanfiction.
FINAL WARNING: SPOILERS FOR ORDER OF THE PHOENIX AHEAD.
Night Time Escape
His hair swung at his waist, as he moved to sit down. I let my toast slip from my fingers, staring at the gentle sway of the hair that had become healthy during his time here. He had put on a little weight too, there was tender flesh below his ribs. When I first saw him in the Shrieking Shack his cheeks were hollow, sink tight as though the Dementors had taken the flesh from his bones as well as the happiness in his soul.
At night, sometimes, he cried out in his dreams. I would lie in my bed listening to his pitiful whimpers, telling myself over and over to go and comfort him but I wouldn't. I stopped my breath, didn't move, to better hear him trying to settle back down into his bed quiet sobs came from the room he buried his head into the pillow. Only then, when he became quiet I slipped out of my room and passed the creaky landing to stand at his door. Usually he lie twisted in the sheets, hands clutching desperately as though seeking comfort from the soft material.
In the mornings I made porridge for him, stirred strawberry jam into it, made him take the chocolate that I offered him in the morning. My eyes never left his face at meals, I intended to make sure he regained a healthy weight, that pleasant flush would return to his face and I would have Sirius back. Perhaps it would have been better for me, if I had gone to him during his night terrors. If I had wrapped my arms around him and made him sob into my night clothes, rather than those lonely tear streaked pillows.
Kreacher passed by the table, muttering under his breath. I didn't bother to catch what he said, untrue and vile things about Sirius. He said them often to me; he'd wandered into my room one morning as I slept away the last moments of darkness. Started I awoke to his muttering, "Half-blood, half-breeds.monsters in the mistresses house. A wolf, my mistress would not have let one of him in here, no. He likes the wolf, what would mistress say.nasty boy, kissing a wolf." My eyes widened as I listened to him, Kreacher heard many things that we didn't believe he could. I had told Sirius that he needed to instruct Kreacher to be silent about what he'd said in my room. We didn't need the fact that I was a werewolf to spread widely, and we certainly didn't need our weakness for each other to be a weapon against us. Not that we were a couple, nothing like it. It was an affection retained from a love long ago; that had been lost when Wormtail betrayed Lily and James. How sad I had been then, and angry. And it is the same now.
I lie down onto his bed now, remembering with perfect clarity him seated before his breakfast, shooting Kreacher disgusted looks. I felt so sorry for him being stuck in this house, he hated the memories it held so much. We never spoke of it, we didn't need to; Sirius' moods were rarely unclear. His depression was infectious, but I tried to make him smile. His smiles were always faint, but contained the ghost of my old friend's spirit. I was rewarded with such a smile that morning, he tore his eyes away from Kreacher and caught me staring at him.
"Full moon coming up, Moony," he whispered across at me. He grinned mischievously, excitement prickled my insides. Soon we would run wild again, two animals who had no thoughts for partings or awkward conversations. They knew each other, and together they'd howl at the moon.
I pushed my guilt aside, the guilt of lying to Dumbledore yet again and perhaps risking Sirius' life. He wanted this as much as I did, he knew the risks. I shivered, trying to stare at him passively and not show how excited I was. He knew my reservations. I smiled at him, recovering my cooling toast.
"Snape," I looked at Sirius, followed his gaze to the door.
"Good morning, Severus." Snape's lip curled into a sneer.
"Why the hell are you here" Sirius snapped at him, ever subtle.
"Lupin, I'd like a word" Ignoring Sirius his gaze moved over to me, once again I dropped my toast.
Night Time Escape
His hair swung at his waist, as he moved to sit down. I let my toast slip from my fingers, staring at the gentle sway of the hair that had become healthy during his time here. He had put on a little weight too, there was tender flesh below his ribs. When I first saw him in the Shrieking Shack his cheeks were hollow, sink tight as though the Dementors had taken the flesh from his bones as well as the happiness in his soul.
At night, sometimes, he cried out in his dreams. I would lie in my bed listening to his pitiful whimpers, telling myself over and over to go and comfort him but I wouldn't. I stopped my breath, didn't move, to better hear him trying to settle back down into his bed quiet sobs came from the room he buried his head into the pillow. Only then, when he became quiet I slipped out of my room and passed the creaky landing to stand at his door. Usually he lie twisted in the sheets, hands clutching desperately as though seeking comfort from the soft material.
In the mornings I made porridge for him, stirred strawberry jam into it, made him take the chocolate that I offered him in the morning. My eyes never left his face at meals, I intended to make sure he regained a healthy weight, that pleasant flush would return to his face and I would have Sirius back. Perhaps it would have been better for me, if I had gone to him during his night terrors. If I had wrapped my arms around him and made him sob into my night clothes, rather than those lonely tear streaked pillows.
Kreacher passed by the table, muttering under his breath. I didn't bother to catch what he said, untrue and vile things about Sirius. He said them often to me; he'd wandered into my room one morning as I slept away the last moments of darkness. Started I awoke to his muttering, "Half-blood, half-breeds.monsters in the mistresses house. A wolf, my mistress would not have let one of him in here, no. He likes the wolf, what would mistress say.nasty boy, kissing a wolf." My eyes widened as I listened to him, Kreacher heard many things that we didn't believe he could. I had told Sirius that he needed to instruct Kreacher to be silent about what he'd said in my room. We didn't need the fact that I was a werewolf to spread widely, and we certainly didn't need our weakness for each other to be a weapon against us. Not that we were a couple, nothing like it. It was an affection retained from a love long ago; that had been lost when Wormtail betrayed Lily and James. How sad I had been then, and angry. And it is the same now.
I lie down onto his bed now, remembering with perfect clarity him seated before his breakfast, shooting Kreacher disgusted looks. I felt so sorry for him being stuck in this house, he hated the memories it held so much. We never spoke of it, we didn't need to; Sirius' moods were rarely unclear. His depression was infectious, but I tried to make him smile. His smiles were always faint, but contained the ghost of my old friend's spirit. I was rewarded with such a smile that morning, he tore his eyes away from Kreacher and caught me staring at him.
"Full moon coming up, Moony," he whispered across at me. He grinned mischievously, excitement prickled my insides. Soon we would run wild again, two animals who had no thoughts for partings or awkward conversations. They knew each other, and together they'd howl at the moon.
I pushed my guilt aside, the guilt of lying to Dumbledore yet again and perhaps risking Sirius' life. He wanted this as much as I did, he knew the risks. I shivered, trying to stare at him passively and not show how excited I was. He knew my reservations. I smiled at him, recovering my cooling toast.
"Snape," I looked at Sirius, followed his gaze to the door.
"Good morning, Severus." Snape's lip curled into a sneer.
"Why the hell are you here" Sirius snapped at him, ever subtle.
"Lupin, I'd like a word" Ignoring Sirius his gaze moved over to me, once again I dropped my toast.