Friday 23rd December

Olivia blew warm air onto her hands as she rested against the car and watched Elliot as he hugged each of his kids before they climbed into the car. He bent down and spoke to Kathy through the open driver's side window for a few minutes. He finally straightened up and Kathy reversed the car out the drive and turned it towards her. She beeped the horn and Elliot waved before the car drove slowly past her. She turned to face them and waved.

"Merry Christmas Olivia!" yelled Kathleen through the open window as they drove past. Before she could answer they were past her and heading down the street.

She turned around hearing the crunching of snow as Elliot walked across the snow covered lawn towards her.

"You okay?" she asked him. He shrugged as he watched the car disappear around the corner.

"It's not the first time I have spent Christmas apart from them," he said referring to the first time him and Kathy split up.

"I know but….."

"Liv, I knew when I asked Kathy for a divorce this time around I wouldn't be able to spend every Christmas with them. It happened last time. At least this time I knew what was coming."

"But last time she didn't take them away to a lodge in the mountains for Christmas break, they were at least in the same city."

"Yeah well shit happens," he said walking around and climbing in the driver's side of the car. Olivia climbed in her side as Elliot turned on the ignition and warm air blew in through the vents.

"I can't believe you are so calm about this."

"Oh trust me, I would rather they were with me but this trip was planned long before I left. The kids were looking forward to it and I couldn't spoil it for them. Plus Kathy's parents would have hated me even more than they do now as they have paid for the trip. They moaned more about the fact they had paid for me and I wouldn't be going than they did about me divorcing their Daughter," he said as he pulled into the street and headed back towards the city.

"Maybe they're just going to miss your sparkling personality around the table on Christmas day," she said smirking. "I mean you're such a ray of sunshine," she chuckled not looking at him but feeling him stare at her. "I can just imagine you sitting around the log fire in your Christmas jumper and slippers playing charades and singing Christmas carols. Bet it was like the Walton's…. Hey!" she said as one of Elliot's gloves hit her in the side of her face and she turned to face him.

"A bit of support would be nice here Benson," he smiled at her. "Some fucking Partner you are giving me shit at a time like this."

"You wouldn't have me any other way," she grinned. "You know you love me." As soon as the words left her mouth she regretted saying it and she felt her cheeks burning as she quickly looked forwards out the front of the car at the snow that had started falling.

Elliot kept glancing at her his mouth hanging slightly open shocked at her words. But what he really loved was how embarrassed and shy she had gone. He was just about to say something when her phone rang. She quickly took it from her pocket and answered it pleased at the interruption.

"Benson…..Yeah…..Okay he is with me…We won't be long." She hung up. "Cragen wants us to go to Mercy a boy aged about five has been taken there by a patrol car, he was found wandering around in the snow in only his PJ's and slippers, he won't talk to anyone."

Elliot nodded and put his foot down driving as fast as he could in the snow.

"Your right," he said after about five minutes of driving. "I wouldn't have you any other way…. You're…..Your perfect just the way you are," he told her. Olivia glanced at him but his eyes were fixed on the road ahead. She looked out her window and couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. Things were good between them right now. It felt like it was when they first became partners, before things got to serious between them. Since his separation they had spent more time together away from work and their friendship was strong again. They were relaxed and comfortable around each other and there was definitely a slight change in their partnership.

"Yeah I am pretty perfect," she smiled trying to keep the conversation light as she kept looking out the window.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"His parents are on their way down," Elliot said sitting down next to her outside the boy's room. "They had only just got home from their shopping trip. They didn't even know he was missing until the patrol car turned up."

"They mad?"

"You could say that. I also think their older daughter is definitely on the naughty list this Christmas," he laughed. "She was still in bed with her boyfriend, she hadn't even realised he had sneaked out."

Olivia shook her head. "This could have turned out so much worse," she said. "If that patrol car hadn't spotted him?"

"But they did, and he is fine. His sister however is another matter, as is the boy she was having sex with when her brother sneaked out. I think I heard the words grounded for life being yelled by her father. And her mother has asked us to pay a visit to the boyfriend and his parents and tell them."

"He older than her?"

"No same age, they just want the frighteners put on him. They were supposed to be studying and watching the kid."

Olivia sat back and rested her head against the wall behind her.

"You were great with him," said Elliot. "Getting him to finally talk and tell us what had happened."

"He was just scared," she smiled not opening her eyes. "He thought he would be in trouble and Santa wouldn't come."

"I still can't believe he sneaked out to follow Santa's Elves so he could find Santa's house. Who do you think they were?"

"My guess….. Students. There is a Uni bar not far from where he was found."

They sat in silence in the corridor as Doctors and Nurses rushed back and forwards in front of them.

"How's Kathleen doing?" she asked him. "She looked happy as she drove past."

"She's doing good," he smiled without looking at her. "Taking her meds and settled back into her classes."

"That's good."

"Yeah, I would hate to think what would have happened if you hadn't got involved."

Without looking he felt her staring at him.

"What? What you on about?" she asked trying to look shocked. Elliot chuckled quietly beside her.

"I know Liv…"

"Know what?"

"That you went to my Mom, that you talked to her and got her to talk to Kathleen. You managed to do what I couldn't do, which led to Kathleen admitting she was sick and getting the help she needed. All Kathy and me done was blame each other and argue."

Olivia blew air through her lips. "How long have you known?"

"I had my suspicions after the court case when you mentioned how cute I was as a carrot it seemed an odd thing to say. But it wasn't until I visited Kathleen in hospital a few days later that she let slip that you took my mom to see her in Rikers." He looked over at her. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Olivia shrugged. "I thought you may have been angry or upset with me, plus your mom asked me not to tell you."

"Yeah so she said."

Olivia finally looked at him. "You have spoken to her?"

"Yeah, when Kathleen told me what happened I finally got my head out my ass and went to see her. We talked for the first time in years without fighting we actually listened to each other and cleared the air. She told me a few home truths that I didn't want to know before."

"That's good El…Really good," she smiled.

"Yeah it is."

Olivia dropped her head back against the wall again and closed her eyes. Elliot turned his head to look at her. His breath hitched as her tongue swiped along her bottom lip making it glisten and he bit down on his bottom lip as his eyes stayed on her face taking in her beauty. He had found himself staring at her a lot more recently, either across their desks, or if she went to make the coffees, even in the cribs when he went to wake her. He would stand and watch her for a few minutes as she slept. His feelings towards her were changing, he had always been attracted to her, but how could any man not be, she was a beautiful, strong, amazing women. But lately he felt more than just a physical attraction. He had feelings for her that he knew he shouldn't be having for his Partner and they were getting stronger every day, and he needed to do something about it. He couldn't wait any longer.

"So you got any plans for the holidays?" he asked her looking down at the floor in front of him.

"Nothing really, just relaxing on the couch watching shit Christmas films and eating junk food," she said without opening her eyes. "And catching up on sleep… What about you?"

"I'm actually going to my Moms, she asked me to join her when she realised I was going to be alone," he told her. Olivia opened her eyes and looked at the back of his head.

"That's really good El," she smiled as he turned to face her and he nodded.

"Yeah it is and I was…..I was erm…. Well I was wondering if….. "God Dammit Stabler just say it, he thought to himself, his Moms words going through his mind.

"You need to stop living for everyone else Son. Your more than a cop, a father and a husband. You need to go after what you want before it's too late. Don't wake up one day and realise your too late to live out your dreams." It had been a few weeks after this conversation that he asked Kathy for a divorce. She hadn't even seemed surprised. She just smiled and nodded and told him she still had the paper work from the first time around.

"What were you wondering?" asked Olivia snapping him out of his thoughts.

"If you would like to join us… Me and my Mom, you know for Christmas."

Olivia looked at him a little shocked by his invitation.

"You want me to come to your Moms with you for Christmas."

"Yeah," he smiled shrugging his shoulders. "If it wasn't for you Liv I wouldn't even be talking to her never mind spending Christmas with her. You have been there for me and my kids so much over the last few years and I would love you too join us."

"El you don't want your Partner hanging around and spending Christmas with you and your Mom."

"Your more than my Partner Liv," he said sounding a little annoyed as he stood up and ran his hand over his head. "Your... Your more than that your….. Your my best friend and I want to spend Christmas with you. Your….Dammit!" he snapped running his hand over his face, this had sounded so much better, when he had practiced it looking in the mirror the night before. "Your so much more than a Partner to me Liv, along with my kids…..Your… Your everything to me," he said looking down at her. "Your are everything to me."

Olivia swallowed hard at his words as she took in everything he was saying.

"El," she said softly her heart racing as the words Your so much more than a Partner, raced through her head. You are everything to me.

"Look just think about it okay," he said giving her a small smile not wanting to push her too much for an answer when he saw the panic on her face. "We have the office drinks tonight and I'm not leaving till the morning. Just let me know before I leave tonight."

She nodded. "Okay," she said quietly looking down at her hands not able to look at his face.

"I have always put everyone first," he said sitting back down and looking at her. "Kathy, work, my family, I have always done everything for them, never for me, something my Mom pointed out to me, it was the kick up the ass I needed to finally make the break from Kathy. For once I am putting myself first. It's time for me to go after what I want for a change," he smiled at her just before the doors in the corridor slammed open and the boy's parents came running towards them.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Munch sat on the desk at the far side of the office slowly sipping at his cup of eggnog as he watched his work colleagues and friends laughing and joking. Christmas music was playing in the background.

"Nice hat," said Cragen looking up at the Santa hat perched on Johns head as he stood beside him resting against the desk.

"Thanks," he said as they both fell into silence.

"So you got any plans for the holidays?" asked Cragen. "It's not often we all get a few days off."

"Nothing special, you?"

"Going up to the cabin for a few days, if you have no plans your welcome to join me, going to try a bit of fishing."

"Thanks Cap, I might just do that," he smiled as his eyes stayed on Elliot whose own eyes had been fixed on Olivia for the last five minutes straight as she talked to Fin. "If I ever look at my Partner like that please shoot me," he chuckled as Cragen looked over at Elliot, then at Olivia who looked away from Fin and across the room to Elliot and gave him a little smile their eyes locked together.

Cragen rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. "It's finally happening isn't it? That's if it hasn't already. I knew as soon as Elliot told me he was the one who asked for the divorce."

"It hasn't yet, trust me," laughed John. "But my guess is it will over the holidays. I heard a rumour that Elliot has asked Olivia to spend Christmas with him and his Mom up at her beach house."

"Well that doesn't mean anything; you might be spending Christmas with me, that doesn't mean we are sleeping together. There Partners, it happens."

"Aaaahhh, but I also heard that Elliot told Olivia she was more than just a Partner to him, she was his everything and he was finally going after what he wanted for a change."

Cragen turned his head and looked at a smug looking John.

"How the hell do you know all that, don't believe all the gossip you hear in the station John. According to the rumours the two of them have been at it for years."

"Not gossip this time Cap, I got it from Olivia herself."

"Olivia told you that Elliot said that to her. She came to you personally and told you."

John nodded but then said "Well not exactly. She was on the phone to Casey telling her I just happened to be in the locker room at the time and heard everything."

Cragen shook his head and looked back across the room at his two Detectives as Olivia walked towards Elliot. "Jesus, you shouldn't be listening in to private conversations John."

"I know….. Do you want to know what she said next?"

"No, I don't. Whatever was said was private between her and Casey."

"Okay," he said smirking as they sat in silence for a short while both of them watching as Olivia handed Elliot another bottle of beer.

"Okay fine," said Cragen. "What did Olivia say? Is she going to take him up on his offer?"

"I don't know," he said standing up. "She is being her normal self and panicking, thinking of all the things that could go wrong if she was to take that step," he said looking over to Elliot and Olivia. "But she is in love with him, as much as he is with her, so I reckon after the holidays, your gonna have to make a few changes around here," he said patting Cragen on his shoulder and walking over to Fin.

"Hey," said Olivia as she handed Elliot a beer. "Did Kathy and the kids arrive safely at the lodge?"

"Yeah, Maureen called an hour ago. They are all settled in and having a great time."

"That's good," she said looking around the room and seeing Cragen and John looking at them. John said something and patted Cragen on the shoulder before walking away leaving Cragen staring at them.

"We are being watched," she said nodding her head towards Cragen.

Elliot shrugged. "We haven't done anything wrong," he said taking a drink."Well not yet anyway."

Olivia looked at him and saw him smile, before he took a drink of beer.

"Have you thought anymore about my offer?" he asked her.

She nodded "Yeah," she said quietly.

"And?"

"I erm… It was a really nice offer but….. But I don't think it would be a good idea," Elliot never spoke as he looked down at her. "We are Partners and friends El and I don't want to ruin that."

"And you think spending Christmas with me would do that."

"No….. But people are already taking about us, different rumours each week about what we are doing together. If I spent Christmas with you, it would just add more fuel to the rumours. Cragen would split us up. I don't want to lose my Partner."

"That's a bullshit excuse Benson," he said stepping forward. "And you know it," he said finishing his beer and putting the bottle down. "Your scared that someone might actually care for you and you don't know how to handle that," he said getting angry. ""So have a good Christmas," he said to her as he walked past her and across the office, grabbing another beer as he did, leaving her stood alone with tears in her eyes.

She knew he would pissed when she told him she couldn't go, but it was for the best. No matter how she felt she couldn't ruin what they had for something that might not work, no matter how she felt for him.

Olivia lifted her wine glass to her mouth her hand shaking as she finished her drink.

"Need a top up?" asked John tipping the bottle of wine towards her glass. He could see tears in her eyes and he guessed at the way Elliot stormed off she had told him she wouldn't be joining him for Christmas despite what she felt.

"Thanks," she said as he filled her glass and she took a drink.

"If I promise not to look at Elliot with Bambi eyes would that make you happier?"

She looked at him confused.

"What the hell you on about John?" she asked him not in the mood for his wise cracks.

"When I'm partnered with Elliot," he smiled. "After Christmas."

"John you have completely lost me, why the hell are you going to be partnered with Elliot. Has he said something, does Cragen think we need split up?"

"Because he will want Fin with you, which is a little hurtful but I understand why."

Olivia shook her head, "You have completely lost me," she said taking another drink.

John stepped forward and leant into her a little. "Put yourself first for a change, and go after what you want, finally be happy," he smiled at her. Olivia swallowed hard as she heard the same words as Elliot had said earlier that day. "This job isn't everything Olivia. Being his Partner at work isn't everything….. But being each other's everything," he grinned and winked. "That's everything, so don't throw it away, because you're worried about what people might think."

"John…..How did you?"

John shrugged. "I have big ears, and maybe you should check your alone in the locker room before making calls. Now go and put him out of misery and agree to spend the holidays with him, cause we all know you want to," he said kissing her on the cheek before walking away.

Elliot watched as John walked away from her. Cragen and Fin were talking beside him, but he hadn't heard a word they were saying. He watched as she finished her drink and grabbed her coat, hat and scarf from her chair. He wanted to go back to her and apologise for snapping, but he had embarrassed himself enough with his confessions earlier that day. He had been about to leave Cragen and Fin had joined him. He just wanted to get out of there and get back to his apartment before he lost it front of everyone.

"I'm going to head off," said Olivia walking over to them, Elliot looked down to the floor not able to look at her.

"Have a great Christmas Baby Girl," said Fin stepping forward and hugging her.

"Thanks," she said giving him a smile. "You too."

Cragen stepped forward and kissed her cheek. "Have a great few days off," he smiled. "And try and relax."

She nodded and turned to Elliot who still wouldn't look at her as Cragen and Fin walked away and towards Munch. "So what time we leaving for your Moms?" she asked him.

Elliot snapped his head up looking at her.

"What?"

"In the morning," she said giving him a small smile. "What time you picking me up?"

"You mean your….?" He asked finally smiling.

"Yeah, if their gonna talk, we may as well give them something to talk about."

"Yeah," he grinned.

"So what time?"

"About nine."

"Okay….. See you then and don't forget to bring the coffee," she said turning and walking away smiling at Cragen, Munch and Fin.

"Merry Christmas guys," she grinned as she passed them and Elliot walked up to the small group.

"I'm warning you now Stabler," said Munch as Elliot's eyes stayed fixed on Olivia's ass as she said goodbye to people on the out. "You keep your eyes off my ass when are Partners.