Bits and Pieces

Author's note:

I'm not here to bash Kubo by any means, because overall, I think he's a very creative person; however, I do think his execution is lacking. But I'm not here to rewrite his plot or character development, because I really don't care enough. I do want to do a few things, though. First, I'd like to have fun and make fun of some other fanfiction/Bleach tropes while I'm at it. Second, deal with the fact that Ichigo is a teenage boy with hormones. Third, write some Ichihime that isn't drenched in sap. So really, my main concern here is having fun, rather than solid writing, but as always, any and all feedback is welcome!

Hopefully you have fun reading!

For some reason unknown to Ichigo, his feet carried him to Inoue's bakery after school, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. Was he hungry? No, his stomach felt fine. He walked inside, door jingling as it closed. He looked around, noticing that for an additional unknown reason, she was the only one in the shop.

"Kurosaki-kun!" She exclaimed.

"Inoue," he said, subdued.

"I'm just closing, wanna help?"

"Uh, sure?" Why was he so anxious to say that?

"Wonderful! Here, take this—" She shoved a platter of strawberries into his outstretched hands, then frowned. "Wait, a minute…" She bit her lip, then brightened. "Oh!" And then she took a strawberry and opened her mouth. Ichigo watched, torn between fascination, horror, and—

And then she sucked on it. He gulped.

"Uh, Inoue…"

She looked at him, brows furrowed.

"What's wrong, Kurosaki-kun?" She held out the bitten strawberry to him, "you don't like strawberries?" A bit of juice clung to the corner of her lip. Ichigo told his eyes to look away, but they just wouldn't. Inoue licked the excess juice from the corner of her lip, then cocked her head at him. Walking up to him, she waved a hand in front of his face.

"Earth to Kurosaki-kun! Kurosaki-kun? Hah! You must be tired! That's it! I'll go get—"

And then that's when he grabbed her. "Kurosaki-kun? Wha—What are you… doing?"

He didn't respond, because he didn't care for what she would say afterwards; he wasn't very interested in what she had to say at the moment, because the feel of her body against his was much more interesting. And then for some reason, the moment seemed to pause. Time felt a little weird to him right now, and though his body was definitely experiencing quite a lot, he seemed to have a remarkable ability to process it all right now. One of her legs was pushed slightly in between his, and as she squirmed a bit, he felt her hips against his own. One of his hands gripped her side, and he had somehow pushed her shirt up slightly, so he was gripping her actual flesh. He pushed her lower body into his, noticing that she gasped as he did so. His other hand was on the back of her neck, while one of her hands was on his bicep. But that was just background noise. What Ichigo really noticed was her breasts pressed against his chest—he could almost feel the flesh—and her lower body against his. She squirmed again, and he groaned. He never knew a woman's body could feel this good, and he felt himself harden from the contact. He prayed she didn't notice, but as he looked down at her, he noticed that she was looking away, a blush on her face.

"Inoue," he heard himself saying. She looked up at him, eyes expectant? He could feel her warm puffs of breath on his chest... feel her actually breathe—those breasts rising and falling… her smell, was it, could it be… strawberries? He pressed his entire body against her, feeling her curves, felt her shiver… He gripped her head—her silky hair floating through his fingers, heard her sigh a surrender—and that's when he leaned in and kissed her. Ichigo gently brushed his lips against hers, but when her hands pulled at his hair, he became decidedly more aggressive. He took her lower lip into his mouth, sucking, and heard her gasp. He took advantage of her opened mouth and slipped in his tongue, tasting her. She tasted like sweet bread and strawberries. Inoue ran her hands across his shoulders, then down his chest and back up again. She gripped his shirt, pulling him closer, and he groaned into her mouth. She ran her hands along his chest again, this time reaching the bottom of his shirt and slipping her hands underneath. Ichigo broke the kiss, breathing heavily. Inoue's hands were tracing his abdomen, and he shivered. Her hands moved up, as she raked her nails against his pectorals.

Ichigo practically growled as he grabbed her again, kissing her fiercely. She moaned again, and in response, Ichigo thrust his hips into hers. He felt her gasp again in response to his growing erection. But apparently, she wasn't afraid: She shifted against him, arousing him even more. He grabbed her thigh and moved it to his hip, as he thrust against her again, causing her to moan—

"ICHIGOOOOOO!"

Luckily Ichigo ducked just as his father came careening into his room for his daily wakeup call. Ichigo just rolled his eyes as Isshin crashed into his wall, looking confused. But instead of smirking, Ichigo groaned. A dream, only a dream…

"Yes, well, I see you're up, Ichigo."

"Pretty accurate observation." Isshin glared at his son. Well, perhaps up wasn't the correct way to describe it, seeing as how Ichigo was still in bed. Isshin frowned, then lunged forward and kicked his son out of bed and onto the floor. Ichigo growled and leapt to his feet, ready to fight.

"Actually, now you're up," Isshin said, then looking at his son, "And you might want to make your shower cold this morning."

Ichigo blushed and ran into the bathroom, muttering, "Bastard." Damn that man, really, damn him. But as Ichigo considered the situation, maybe it had been his fault—he should've gone to the bathroom right when his alarm woke him up, instead of lying in bed, thinking about it. And he blushed, because there it was in his head again. He blamed it on his suddenly boring life, because of his loss of—never mind. He wasn't going to think about it, because it didn't matter. He looked down, groaned, and then turned the shower on, spinning the dial to cold. He vowed to spend more time with whatever sport he was getting paid to do now or… work. Yes, that was it. That would solve his problem, take his mind off other matters that did not involve… ugh. Ichigo searched his mind for something else—anything else—as he stepped into the shower, welcoming the much needed cold water.

"Pay attention, Inoue!"

"Uh, right, Sado-kun! Sorry!" Sado-kun was coming at her with both arms covered, the right in Brazo Derecha de Gigante and the left in Brazo Izquierda del Diablo. She quickly put up Santen Kesshun, effectively blocking him, until Sado-kun launched El Directo and broke the shield. Orhime groaned and wiped her brow.

"What's wrong, Inoue?" Sado-kun asked her.

"Nothing, nothing! I'm fine!" Orihime waved her arms, trying to convince him. But the truth was, she had other things on her mind. She could have sworn she felt Kurosaki-kun's reiatsu spike. No, that couldn't be right. No, she was just being silly. Right! She needed to focus! She looked at Sado-kun and prepared herself.

"I'm ready this time, Sado-kun!" He came at her with both arms, firing El Directo again, but Orihime braced herself and shouted, "Koten Zanshun!" and Tsubaki came out fighting, but Sado-kun merely readied himself to fire El Directo at him. Orihime frowned. She had to get better at this if she wanted to become a fighter. "Tsubaki!" She shouted and directed him around the attack. There! That's what she'd have to do if his attack wasn't going to be strong enough to win against her opponent. Tsubaki came flying back to her just as Sado-kun came at her again. "Shiten Kōshun!" She shouted. Sado-kun's attack fired back at him, knocking him off his feet.

"Hah! I win!" Orihime shouted at Sado-kun, running over to congratulate him on a good match, but as she got closer, she realized he wasn't moving—

That was weird. Ichigo could've sworn his felt Inoue's reiatsu. Ugh, there he was imagining things again. "Don't be an idiot," he muttered, "that part of your life is over." But still, he swore he felt something. No, maybe it was just because of the dream. He shook his head. He would not think of that, but as the cold water ran down his body, he just couldn't help it. And the worst part of it was it had been in one of those fitful states between waking and dreaming… that state where you were aware of exactly what was happening but couldn't stop it… or… or… didn't want it to stop…

Ichigo ran a hand down his abdomen, and then down, down, down, twisting, pulling, rubbing, his hips twitching forward…

Inoue ran to Sado-kun, hoping that she hadn't done any lasting damage.

"Sado-kun, um, wake up, won't you?" She tried to flip him over, but he was just too heavy. "Uh, umph, sorry, Sado-kun! I promise I didn't mean to!" Oh, this was just not good! "Sōten Kisshun," she shouted, as her fairies came out to heal Sado-kun. Orihime wiped her brow. Maybe she and Sado-kun needed a break. They had been getting up early every morning, because they both had work after school, to train and improve their powers. Orihime invited Ishida-kun in the beginning, but he declined, which was sad, because they could always use more training buddies! Sado-kun grunted and opened his eyes. Orihime lunged forward and hugged him. "Oh! Sado-kun! You're alright! I'm so relieved!" Sado-kun grunted in response. "So, uh, let's take tomorrow off, okay, Sado-kun?" He nodded in relief.

"I just caught a glimpse of her!"

"I got a picture of her on my cell phone!" Ichigo clenched his hand in a fist. He was so sick of these infuriating little bastards or, as the rest of the school populace liked to think of them, first years. He walked through the halls, trying desperately not to hit one of them. He was already in trouble for starting a fight with the opposing basketball team during one of his games, and as a result, he really didn't get paid as much as the basketball team had originally promised him. So now, he was really trying not to fight, but it just felt like he had so much pent up energy. He released his fist. Yes, he could do this. Calm. Breathe in and out. There. He was already feeling better.

"So what's the picture of?"

"The back of her head?"

"No, her panties!"

BAM!

The bastard fell to the ground, hard. "Oops," Ichigo said, looking down upon him. He'd tried, really he had, but the moronic bastard had tested his patience. His fault, really.

"Kurosaki!" Ichigo looked up, only to find one of his professors approaching. Shit. "Why is that first year on the ground?"

"He fell."

"Is that so?"

"I did not! He punched me!"

"Shut up, you little bastard," Ichigo muttered.

"Kurosaki! My office! NOW!" Well, fuck, this day hadn't started off well at all.

Ichigo followed his professor down the hall, rolling his eyes at the old man's back. Honestly, should he really be in trouble for giving that bastard what he deserved? His professor unlocked the door, and lead Ichigo into his office. "Sit," he said. Reluctantly, Ichigo took a seat. "Starting fights with opposing basketball teams wasn't enough, was it?" Ichigo scowled. "Kurosaki, when I ask a question, you will answer."

"Sir," Ichigo said with gritted teeth, "he deserved it."

"Who? The boy lying on the floor in the hallway? Surely you had your reasons, did you not? Enlighten me."

"I was realigning his nose."

"Kurosaki, your endless sarcasm is tiring."

"Fine. I thought he would look good in purple and black. Thought it would complement his skin tone."

"Detention for a week, Kurosaki."

"Oh, I'll look forward to it for the rest of the day."

"Two." Ichigo slammed the door as he exited. "Make that three, Kurosaki!" His professor shouted. Ichigo closed his eyes in frustration and clenched his fist again.

"Kurosaki-kun! Kurosaki-kun!" Ichigo groaned quietly, as he turned and faced probably the last person he wanted to see right now.

"Inoue," he said, strangled. He felt like his ears were plugged with water, and his voice sounded strange. He blushed, thinking of things he was most definitely not supposed to be thinking of.

"What are you doing after school?" she asked.

"Well, work and a sport, until—"

"Oh! Yay, I forgot! Right, well—"

"But then I got detention."

"Oh no, Kurosaki-kun!" Ichigo looked at the students they passed as they walked down the halls. Yup, he was getting glares from pretty much every boy. But why were the girls glaring at Inoue? "So, no work, then? And hah, basketball's done, right?" She chuckled. The sound was sweet. "Well, you'll find a new one tomorrow, so don't worry, Kurosaki-kun!" She jabbed her elbow into his arm, in what was supposed to be a friendly manner.

"I've got detention for three weeks and ow." Ichigo said, rubbing his arm.

"Oh! Kurosaki-kun! I'm so, so, so sorry! Sometimes, you know, I don't know my own strength—maybe it's 'cause Tatsuki's been teaching me more moves—I can punch now—" And then she spread her legs, fists out. Ichigo let a tiny smile escape.

"Promise me I won't be your first victim, okay, Inoue?"

"Hah, of course, Kurosaki-kun! I would never punch you! Is your arm—" And then she reached out and touched the spot where her elbow had hit. It tickled, and he felt shivers, and—

"It's fine." She withdrew her hand quickly, and he felt a little remorse. "Don't worry it didn't really hurt."

"Right, yes, of course!" She paused. "So how long are you in detention for?"

"Few hours, I guess."

"Oh." And then they were outside in the courtyard and Tatsuki was waving to Inoue in the blinding sun, and then Tatsuki was really yelling at Inoue to hurry herself up, and then—

"Bye, Kurosaki-kun!" She patted his arm lightly as she walked to Tatsuki, leaving Ichigo wondering why he was shivering in the warm sun.

Ichigo slammed his book bag on his desk. Three weeks of this shit? Maybe he actually did need to calm his temper. He flopped down on his bed, prolonging his inevitable homework. If he thought his life sucked before, he was wrong. Now it officially sucked. Big fucking time.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Ichigo sighed. As if it weren't enough to dream of Inoue, now he was hearing her voice in his head, too? Well, at least it was an improvement on his hollow. Fuckkk. He told himself he wouldn't think of any of that. "Kurosaki-kun!" Ichigo rolled over and placed his pillow over his ears. And that's exactly when Karin burst into his room.

"Ichi-nii!"

"What?" he practically spat, but when she looked affronted, he amended with a much softer, "what?"

"Inoue's outside calling you. Aren't you going to go down?"

"Oh, right. Yeah."

"Good. And stop moping so much," Karin said as she left his room. Ichigo opened his window to see Inoue standing in the street with a basket of bread.

"Kurosaki-kun! I brought treats!"

"Stop fidgeting, will you?"

"What?"

"You're fidgeting. Stop it."

"Oh, right! It's just I've never been in your room before, Kurosaki-kun!"

"What? Of course you have!" But in the back of his mind, it felt like the something that was not being said was, not like this. Not like this. Suddenly he wished he hadn't invited her up, and she was so close to his bed—

"So…" Inoue said, scratching her head.

"Yeah… so…" Ichigo made a mental note to pick up a book on how to speak to girls, because he never wanted to be a situation this awkward ever again. Ever.

"I brought bread."

"Yeah, enough to feed three families! There's only four people here!"

"Oops, sorry, Kurosaki-kun!" Oy. Why was she so nice sometimes?

"It's okay. We'll eat it, I'm sure." Inoue brightened considerably, then furrowed her brows.

"Is everything okay, Kurosaki-kun?"

"What do you mean?"

"You, uh, just seem a little tense?" Suddenly she was waving her hands in front of her face. "No! That's not what I meant! You're just a little, uh—"

"I'm fine, Inoue." He hoped that would convince her—that she'd just drop it and give up like his sisters had.

"Right, uh, Kurosaki—don't you ever think about, uh, what happened?"

"When?"

"When I, and then you, and then you, uh, when everyone really, but mainly you, and—"

"I have that manga I borrowed from you," Ichigo said, getting up, desperately trying to divert this conversation.

"Oh! You can keep it! It's no problem, really!"

"Well, I'll give you this one, so then I can borrow the next one in the series."

"Right! Of course, Kurosaki-kun! Did you like the fights?"

"Yeah, but I surprised you like them, Inoue. They were, uh, kind of violent." Inoue blushed at his words, but to his extreme gratitude continued the conversation and did not stray back to her original topic. An hour later she left, looking frustrated with herself, a feeling he knew too well.

"ICHIGOOOOOOOO!" Isshin ran into the room, but Ichigo was not in bed. Isshin scanned the room, then noticed the bathroom door was closed. He heard the shower water running, and smirked as he left the room, knowing that the girls wouldn't be complaining from a lack of hot water this morning.

Oh, boys... :D