I tend to write, short Dan Brown-length chapters, so I didn't bother splitting up this story properly. This story stemmed from the recent DanWarp photo of Carly and Freddie about to kiss.

1: Botched

"OK, so who's next on the list?" Carly asked.

Sam checked the list. Suddenly, she smacked Freddie in the face with a clipboard.

"Ow!"

"I can't believe you'd waste our time like this," Sam shouted. "We're trying to find Carly a date for the dance, and you pull this?"

"Look," Freddie replied. "Every guy on that list is entitled a chance, right?"

"Yeah, every guy."

"Sam!" Carly admonished.

"Fine," Sam said, "have your chance. Like it matters."

Freddie sat down next to Carly. He then quickly realized he had nothing to say. He and Carly have known each other for over five years. What could he possibly do to erase all that and leave a brand new impression on her in just two minutes?

"I figured," Sam chuckled. "You finally get your chance and you choke. The clock's still ticking," she taunted.

Carly was feeling awkward too. "Well, I guess we can skip the introduction part, so what's next?"

"Maybe we could, uh--"

"Kiss?" Carly asked.

Freddie was stunned. "Really? You want to do that?"

"Couldn't hurt. If we feel anything, I guess you've finally won, and if we don't, it'll be like this never happened."

"I guess."

They sat there awkwardly for a few seconds. "Well, lean," Carly finally said.

"What?" Freddie was startled when he heard that familiar line. "Oh, right."

Freddie and Carly were just about to kiss when the bell rang, signaling that they missed their chance. They looked over to Sam. Her jaw was hanging and her smoothie was all over her shoes.

"So, uh, who's next?" Carly finally managed.

2: Dreams

That night, Freddie lay in bed, trying to sleep. He was furious at himself; he very well could have ruined the one possibility he would ever have to make Carly his. Why did he have to choke just when it mattered most? Freddie closed his eyes and imagined how things would have been different if he and Carly had completed their kiss.

Freddie gazed one last time into Carly's eyes before closing his own. His lips made contact with Carly's and he was instantly plunged into ecstasy. It was only when he needed to breathe that he pulled away.

"That was amazing," Freddie heard.

"Sure was, Carly."

Freddie heard a chuckle. "Carly?"

Freddie opened his eyes and was immediately blinded by a flash of blonde. He woke up with a jolt.

Meanwhile, Carly was imagining herself with David. Why did have to have a date already? Sure, there were cute guys at the speed dating session, but none were as hot as David. David was Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Jesse McCartney all in one.

Everything was perfect about him. His hair, his eyes, his smile, Carly could have gone on forever. But right now, all Carly could think about was tasting those sweet lips. Carly closed her eyes and leaned in to find herself making out with... her pillow.

Carly cursed the heavens. Why did her dream have to end, just before it got to the best part?

Sam had a huge arsenal of ways to annoy Freddie, but "Carly will never love you" has always been the most simple and most effective, and if nothing else worked, this would. But now Sam was not so sure. Hell was just seconds away from freezing over, and she was there to witness it herself.

Would it have mattered if Carly was to suddenly change her mind after five years and start liking Freddie back? Carly had dated other guys before; it wasn't as if she wasn't used to being the third wheel. But something about the idea of Carly and Freddie together just made her uncomfortable.

Sam walked the familiar hallway to Carly's apartment and knocked on the door. No one answered, so she picked the lock. No one was home, so Sam made her way to the Groovy Smoothie. To her surprise, Freddie was sitting in the exact same spot as that afternoon, making out with... Sam. Sam stared at herself in shock. She had walked into the exact same scene as just a few hours ago, only she was in Carly's place.

Sam looked at the timer; the two minutes for her speed date with Freddie were long gone. Sam picked it up and kept twisting the dial back and forth, setting off the bell herself. But nothing could stop her other self from eating at Freddie's face.

The ringing of the timer eventually morphed into the ringing of Sam's alarm clock. It was Friday, the day of the dance, and the last chance to get a date.

3: The other girl

"So," Sam asked. "Have you picked the lucky guy yet?"

"I'm thinking Kevin or Ralph, but I can't decide between them," Carly answered.

"Well, you better decide soon. No pressure," Sam joked.

"Very funny. And what about you? You don't have a date yet either."

"I've asked some guys."

"And?"

"They said they'd get back to me."

Carly knew better. "They said no, didn't they?"

Sam slumped against her locker. "Yep."

"You could ask Freddie."

"WHAT?"

Carly kept her cool next to an exploding Sam, as only she could do. "Think about it. Freddie's one of the few guys in school who's not scared off by you, I've seen you two even get along from time to time, and he was your first k—"

Sam quickly covered Carly's mouth. "I'm not above killing my best friend, you know."

Carly managed to pry Sam's hand off her mouth. "Sorry. Just a suggestion."

Sam looked around. "Hey, speaking of Freddie, where is that nub anyway?"

Carly peered around the corner. She pointed over to a guy and a girl at the end of the next hallway. "There he is."

"OK, so what's he doing with a hot chick like that?"

"Oh, come on," Carly replied. "Give Freddie some credit, he's not that bad."

Just then, Carly and Sam heard Freddie yell "Yes!" from twenty meters away. He ran down the hallway and into Carly and Sam. "Guess what?"

"You've finally grown your first leg hair."

Freddie was too excited to even notice the insult. "No, Malika just asked me to the dance!"

Carly and Sam were floored. "Malika, the hottest girl in school?" Sam asked.

"How did you land a date with Magic Malika?" Carly was practically screaming.

"I don't know," Freddie replied. "I was on my way here when she stopped me and asked me out. Anyway, I'm heading to class now. Looking forward to seeing your dates." Freddie said the last sentence staring directly at Sam. He headed off, leaving Sam and Carly in shock.

"Wow," Carly said. "Looks like you're the only one of us without a date."

"You don't exactly have one yet either, you know."

"I'll ask one of them. Once I figure out who."

Just then Ralph walked over. "Hey, I just wanted to tell you I've got myself a date to the dance now. But thanks for considering me."

"Um, you're welcome?"

"So," Ralph continued, "I'll catch you later?"

"Yeah, sure."

Ralph headed off. "I guess that leaves Kevin," Carly said.

And thus Sam was the only one of the three to not have a date for the dance. No way Freddork could get asked to the dance, not to mention by the hottest girl in school, and Sam couldn't even get a decent guy to say yes. But any guy was better than the embarrassment of being dateless. Sam would find a date if it killed her.

4: Gibby and Malika

"Go out with you? Are you kidding?"

Sam sighed. Every guy she asked was just like Pete. They all rejected her for not being girly enough, but she knew going all girly again wouldn't work either. And there was no way she'd put herself through that again in the first place. There was only one other option: intimidation.

"Gibby!" Sam yelled.

"What?"

"Take me to the dance or else."

"No."

Sam was stunned. Gibby never stood up to Sam's threats. "What do you mean, no?"

"I'm not going to let you push me around. And if you hurt me, you're still left without a date to the dance."

Sam grumbled. Gibby was right. "Fine." Sam let go of Gibby's briefs and stormed off.

Once out of sight of Gibby, Sam punched the wall. Lunch was almost over and she still didn't have a date. Asking nicely didn't work. Intimidation didn't work. The only thing left to do was to decide whether she would go to the dance alone or not at all.

I can't believe it. Gibby turning me down? If anyone else saw that, I might as well die. And I still can't believe Freddie's going to the dance with Malika. There's has to be something fishy about this. Maybe he paid her, or offered to do her homework, or something.

Then Sam saw a couple kissing in the hallway. To her surprise, it was Malika and a hot senior. No wait, it was Gary Wolff, the guy who supposedly stood her up. It was amazing; Freddie was obviously being played. Maybe Sam would go after all, just to see how it all played out.

Man, I almost feel bad for the sap. Maybe I should tell him. Nah, this is too fun. And it's the geek's fault for not seeing this coming. Why would a girl like Malika ask him out unless she was using him?

"Get to class!" Miss Briggs yelled through the bullhorn.

"OK, OK." Sam strolled into her sixth period class five minutes late and without her books. No one was surprised.

5: Getting ready

Carly and Sam were raiding Carly's closet looking for the perfect dresses. "So you're really going to the dance alone?" Carly asked.

"What's the big deal? Dances are about dancing, I don't need a guy to do that."

"You're going to have to sit out a lot of the slower songs."

"Good, gives me more time to raid the snack bar."

Carly chuckled. She pulled out a dress. "I think you'll look good in this."

"Ew! No dress. You can wear it if you want."

"Nah, for Kevin, I'm going to need something even more stunning." Carly rummaged through her closet. Eventually, Sam found herself a cute top and a denim skirt. Carly opted for a blue mini dress.

"OK, let's go!" Sam said.

"Wait."

"What?"

Carly led Sam to her mirror and pulled out her box of makeup.

"No."

"Come on," Carly pleaded, "just a little lipstick and nail polish. Maybe some eyeshadow."

"Fine," Sam grumbled.

Fifteen minutes later, Spencer shouted from downstairs. "Carly, your date's here!"

Carly and Sam came down the stairs. "Wow," Kevin said. "You look gorgeous."

"Thanks," Carly replied.

Sam couldn't care less. "Whatever, you know if Fredlumps needs a ride or not?"

"He hired a cab," Carly answered.

"Good. The less time I have to spend with the dork the better."

Carly shook her head.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Spencer said. "Let's go!"

Sam sat in the front seat of Spencer's car, with Carly and Kevin in the back. "So," Kevin asked, "your brother's a sculptor?"

"Sure am," Spencer shouted from the driver's seat. "In fact your school paid me to decorate the gym for tonight's dance."

"Cool," Sam said.

"But wait, don't your sculptures have a tendency to spontaneously catch fire?" Carly asked.

"Um, yeah." Spencer admitted sheepishly.

"Really?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah," Carly replied. "You know that car seat on ?"

"Yeah?"

"Every time you press the horn," Carly explained, "the sirens magically burst into flame. And I'll never forget your magnetic Christmas tree."

"Don't worry!" Spencer said. "I made sure every decoration I made is perfectly fireproof."

"Right..."

Spencer pulled up next to the front gate of the school. "Well, here we are."

"Great, snack bar for me." Sam ran off, leaving Carly and Kevin with Spencer.

"I'm honored you picked me out of all those guys at the Groovy Smoothie," Kevin said.

Carly smiled. "Thanks. But flatter me later, I want to dance."

They entered the school gym together, hand in hand.

6: Had

Freddie stepped out of the cab. It was amazing he even got this far. He even had to use the line, "Trust me, if you ever want grandchildren, let me do this myself." So instead of a lame sweater vest, he was wearing a suit jacket, and his mother didn't get to fluff his hair, which he spent a hour on, applying gel, molding, and then washing it all off and trying again. Freddie made sure he would be the hot topic in school the next day.

He walked up to Malika's front porch and knocked on the door. "Hi," she said.

"Hey. You ready?"

"Sure."

Freddie opened the door to the cab and helped Malika in. "Thanks," she said.

"My pleasure." Freddie walked around to the other side and got in.

"So, what's it like being the technical producer on iCarly?" Malika asked.

"It's really fun," he replied. "But it can be a little dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

"Yeah, well, being Sam's personal piñata isn't exactly the best thing for my well being."

Malika chuckled. "Yeah, I've heard a lot about Sam. She sure is something."

Freddie sighed. "She sure is."

Freddie thought about his bizarre dream last night. It puzzled him, there was no way he loved Sam. He couldn't love Sam; she was just his friend. A friend who still tried to kill him from time to time. And yet, he dreamed about kissing her instead of Carly.

They arrived at school. Malika climbed out of the cab. "Thanks for taking me here. I'll see you around."

"What?"

"My parents don't allow me to date seniors, so I ask other guys to pretend to be my dates. I thought everyone knew."

"Um, I didn't."

"Oh. Sorry. Listen, you're a cool guy and all, but—"

"Just go."

7: Embrace

Freddie slowly made his way to the bleachers, where Sam had stolen an entire bowl of punch and was drinking straight out of it.

"Hey Freddweeb, where's your arm candy?"

"She only wanted to take me to the dance. She never actually wanted to be my actual date."

"Guess you've been used. Again." Freddie grimaced. Even after all these years, he could never forget Valerie.

"I can't believe I was so stupid!"

Sam smirked. "Well that makes one of us."

"How could I believe that I could actually land a real date with a girl like Malika? I mean, look at me. The only girl who ever wanted to date me was just trying to destroy iCarly.

"Well, welcome to the losers' bench."

Freddie was surprised. Sam just insulted herself. "You're here."

"Shut up."

"Sorry."

Sam was bummed. She felt bad enough about not having a date herself, but she thought at least she could tease Freddie about Malika. But now, she found she didn't have the heart to do it. She actually felt sorry for him, and guilty for not warning him about her. Maybe I do like him. Maybe last night's dream wasn't so crazy after all. Whoa, Sam, get a grip on yourself. You can't like Freddie, Freddork, Fredweird...

Freddie glanced around at all the people dancing. "Some party, huh?"

"Yeah. Almost feel like dancing anyway."

"So why don't you?"

"I would. Just that they're playing a slow song right now." She pointed to a couple in the crowd. "There's Malika. With Gary Wolff. How nice, two jerks together."

Freddie blushed. "Actually, Gary never sent you that text. I did."

Sam smiled. "Good."

"Good?"

"Now I don't feel so bad about not telling you I already knew about Malika and Gary."

"What?"

"So now we're even."

"Even?" Freddie yelled. "The only reason I pranked you in the first place was because you had been pranking me all week!"

"Oh, stop being such a wuss. You know what?"

"What?"

"You still looking for a date tonight?"

Freddie shrugged. "I guess."

"Then come on." Sam grabbed Freddie and forced him to his feet.

Oh what the heck, Freddie thought. They started dancing, awkwardly.

"I had to buy a new laptop, you know," Freddie said. "And we lost an iCarly segment I was editing."

"Well, I waited at the mall for an hour. Did you know Gary was in a swim meet so I couldn't even call him? Do you know how much it hurt, thinking I was stood up?"

"And I suppose six years of your insults have been good for my ego."

Sam chuckled. "You said it'll be too weird if I'd stopped—"

Sam and Freddie both blushed, remembering their first kiss on the fire escape.

"Sorry." Sam said.

After an awkward silence, Freddie decided to take a risk. "You know, it's funny, one week we're in the middle of an all-out prank war, the next week we're kissing on a fire escape."

"Yeah, looks like we're both a little cuckoo," Sam joked.

Sam and Freddie didn't say anything for the rest of the song. However, something else happened. The two of them found themselves gradually holding themselves a little tighter until by the end of the song, they were completely pressed against each other's bodies.

"Um," Freddie tried to say something meaningful as a fast song started, killing the mood.

"You're not a bad dancer," Sam quipped.

"Mother-son dance lessons."

Sam smirked. "Um, so about just now..."

"Wanna pretend it never happened and go right back to 'hating' each other?"

Sam shot Freddie a glare.

"Because you know we could never pretend that nothing just happened just now. Or on the fire escape, for that matter."

"Follow me." Sam grabbed Freddie's hand. Freddie jumped at the sudden contact, but was soon dragged out of the gym out into the parking lot.

8: Stars

"You're going to kill me now, aren't you?"

"No, I just figured if we're going to talk, we ought to find someplace more private."

"So, talk."

"What do mean, me talk? You're the one who's saying we shouldn't go on as if nothing happened."

Freddie sighed. "Look. We've shared a kiss, we've shared a dance. Not exactly friend activities, don't you think?"

"So what are we?"

"I don't know."

Sam found an aluminum can on the pavement. She kicked it and it went right into a trash can.

"So what about Carly?" she asked.

"I don't know either. But the truth is, I think about you more often than her. Just not always in a good way."

Sam punched Freddie in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Baby."

Freddie decided to let it slide. "So what now?" he asked. "Walk home, or go back to the dance?"

Sam found a car without an alarm and sat up on the hood, leaning against the windshield. "Neither."

Freddie joined Sam on top of the car. "You better hope this car doesn't belong to Billy."

"The football captain? Phft. I can take him on. Heck, I've taken on Jocelyn in heels."

Freddie laughed at the memory. "Oh yeah. Sorry about not standing up for you when she slammed you into the lockers."

"Come on, you would have been useless and I would have had to save your butt."

"I know."

Sam and Freddie spent the rest of the evening talking about all the experiences they had shared together. They didn't dare talk about their future, however. Whatever laid ahead, they agreed to just take it as it came.

The first dream sequence was inspired from a scene from the Boy Meets World episode "The Happiest Place on Earth", where Cory accidentally calls his date Topanga. I'd thought I'd change it around though, so that he'd actually see Sam in his dream. The Malika plot was based of the BMW episode "Turnaround", and I also got inspired by the Wonder Years episode "Double Double Date".