Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.
After a battle so majestic it were a dream, Luffy had finally defeated Eneru. Where the god went, no one knew. However, all was peace in Skypiea. Everyone who were uninjured, brought food and drinks and danced happily. The others, from mild to severe injuries, were treated by the Skypiea doctors, nurses, and Chopper. Chopper first followed after the doctors to help the civilians. He decided to help his crewmates later because the reindeer knew from experience that they were resilient. After circling the whole ruins, Chopper finally returned to his crewmembers.
Luffy had no burns from electric shock, but he did have cuts and burns from the golden spear. Usopp and Sanji were in better shape for they were shocked in the earlier phase. Robin said she was fine, but Chopper insisted that she should rest a little before walking outside. Nami was the healthiest, save for a few bruises and minor cuts from falling. Finally, Chopper headed to the cloud infirmary where Zoro should be sleeping. Zoro got the most injuries for he got struck by lightning three times and had wounds from the battle with Braham and Ohm.
When he slapped the curtain away, the first thing he saw was Zoro. The swordsman was awake, sitting up, and was fondling with a small white fox in his lap. Chopper dropped his blue bag with a lifeless thud. His large black eyes zoomed up to Zoro's lap. That was his lap. No one was allowed to sit on Zoro's lap except him.
Zoro heard the sound and turned to face Chopper.
He pulled up a smile, "Hey, you're finished?" His hands didn't stop petting the little fox.
Chopper's little hooves were shaking out of control, "What is she doing there?"
Zoro stared bewildered at Chopper's sudden explosive anger. He didn't understand the profound importance of his lap.
"Uh...Su just wanted a petting."
"S-So you easily let her sit there?"
"C-Chopper, I don't understand what you're-" Zoro couldn't finish his sentence because the reindeer rushed out of the infirmary, completely forgetting the reason why he was there in the first place. The poor old Gun Fall, who was in the cloud infirmary with Zoro, wanted Chopper to redress his bandages. He looked quite dumbstruck when the raccoon doctor appeared, had a mini argument with his crewmate, and ran out crying.
When Chopper ran until he couldn't run anymore, he felt someone follow after him. The scent of the pursuer wasn't human. He turned and there was Su. Chopper quickly wiped off the tears and snot off his face and glared at the fox.
"What?"
Su inspected Chopper from head to hoof. Then she made this sigh and shook her large white head to the side.
'Tsk tsk. What a waste.'
"W-what's the waste?"
Su looked at him straight in the eyes, or Chopper assumed she was looking straight in the eyes. Her eyes were barely open.
'You're not cute.'
Chopper stilled in place. No one ever said that to him before, but at the same time no one ever told him he was cute either.
'Look at you! You have large eyes, a small body, a cute voice, and to top it off you wear a large pink hat! You should be radiating with cuteness! No wonder your favorite human doesn't think of you that way.'
"W-What way huh?"
'That you're adorable and should be petted and be near him every single day.' Su titled her head to the side, 'That human has a vibe that we like. You, you have the greatest privilege of being with him for the rest of your travels, but you don't take that wonderful opportunity. Shame on you!'
"B-But I don't want to be a burden to him! I want to help!"
'You can do that afterwards. Raccoon, you need to be cute. It's because you're not cute that your special spot got taken away easily.'
Chopper ignored the comment about being called a raccoon.
"What do I need to do to be cute?"
'Haha, so you did get jealous when I took your spot.'
"No I didn't!"
'Raccoon, that reaction wasn't cute at all.' Chopper puffed his cheeks to suppress his anger, but the fox smiled, 'There, that's perfect! I think humans will think that's cute.' Su made a gesture as if she was folding up her sleeves, even though she wasn't wearing anything but her fur. She must have learned that from observing humans.
'Before you part from Skypiea, I am going to make you the cutest creature in the world. So cute that your favorite human will not look away.'
Su sat down, so Chopper followed suit. Chopper had run a great distance from the village party, so there was only him and Su. If there was a passerby, he or she might think it was an adorable sight to see two animals 'looking' like they were sitting and having a little chat. Which they were, but no human beings knew that.
"What should I do first?"
'I think the best advice is to mimic the human with the straw hat.'
"Luffy? Why him"
'If you noticed raccoon-which I guess you haven't, silly creature-the straw hat has our kind of vibe. Why do you think your favorite human joined his crew hm? I have to tell you, the straw hat acts more animalistic than you.' Chopper thought the last sentence was a compliment except that Su did not look happy.
"B-But Luffy goes crazy and makes Sanji and Nami mad."
'But does your favorite human get mad?' When Chopper fell silent the fox giggled, which was a long thread of 'su's, 'See? You don't care about...Sanji-Su and Nami-Su correct? You want your favorite human to care and like you...by the way, what's your favorite human's name?'
"Zoro."
'Hm, pretty name.'
"Anyways, what things should I mimic Luffy?" On instinct, Chopper had a small notepad and pencil in his tiny hooves and was ready to jot down all of the advice he needed to become Luffy.
'By the looks of the straw hat boy, he does extremely crazy things. You probably don't need to do that. However, there are some physical traits he does that you can mimic. For example, the eyes. When the straw hat sees something fantastic, wonderful, awesome, fabulous...you will act in that same manner. Eventually, your eyes will naturally widen and sparkle like stars, just like the straw hat boy.
'You don't need to act tough all the time. Give your trust to Zoro-Su. If you are scared stiff, go to Zoro-Su's side and demand a hug. He will hug you back, if you're cute.' Su tapped her paw on Chopper's fluffy pink hat, 'Don't worry raccoon, you have natural cuteness. All you need to do is to show it more. Zoro-Su will be looking at you in no time!'
Chopper was fueled with determination. "Okay! I'll be cute! Then Zoro will only cuddle with me!"
'That's the spirit raccoon! Ah, but since I gave you this juicy advice, while you're staying here, I am going to take your spot.'
The reindeer made his cute pout, but the fox only snorted. The fox, with a voice sounding quite identical to Nami, also acted like her. He followed her back to the cloud infirmary, so he could properly redress Gun Fall, Wiper, and Zoro's bandages. All that time, Chopper did his best to remain calm and not look at where Su was sitting. The fox chortled in her elegant 'su's while being petted by the oblivious swordsman.
He was going to become cute, damn it!
The End
A/N: If you know where the idea of the title came from, and even can hum (or sing) along with the title, I will acknowledge that you know a lot about Japanese culture to get the joke. If you don't know it, don't worry, it's just a title.