Thunder rolled overhead.
It carried across the land, echoing and rolling. Above the dark clouds, lightning flickered angrilly, and another peal of thunder exploded overhead.
People scuttled to their small houses, looking fearfully up at the sky overhead. The thunder felt like a living thing, pushing down on the villager's heads, assaulting their ears and even their bodies.
No rain fell.
A hot wind blew across the land, kicking up dirt and dust, rippling the withered trees.
For three days, this storm had rumbled overhead, angry and sullen. Occasionally the thunder would fade off for a few hours, but the dark clouds were always overhead, the hot wind always blowing.
The villagers were frightened. It was as if the sky were angry at someone. If lightning reached the ground, a terrible forest fire could start. And with almost no water, it would be horrible.
The five of them sat inside Kaede's hut. They had returned there after the terrible attack on the island, and now wondered what to do. Kaede didn't know Izumi, had never met her, but she agreed it was a terrible blow, to have lost not only a friend, but someone who was their guide, their mentor, in what was supposed to be a terrible war. Izumi had been...untouchable. They had always been able to turn to her for advice, and not just about the war. Each one of them remembered having gone to her at least once for personal advice. Her gentle manner and kind smile had always been comforting.
They felt shell-shocked.
It had been four days now. The storm had moved in one day after the woman's death. They wondered what it meant. Was the Goddess Amaterasu raging over the loss of her First Handmaiden? If so, her anger could cause irrepairable damage to the lands below. If a fire started...
InuYasha was being oddly silent. Kagome saw him looking into the distance often, as if he were looking at something only he could see. It bothered her to see such a lost look on his face, and she wondered if he were feeling the loss of not just a guide, but someone who had sort of been family.
A short while after they had awoken, he had gone outside. He hadn't said much, just left, and Kagome wasn't sure if she should follow or not. She knew grief was personal, but wasn't sure just how much Izumi's death had affected him.
Telling DarkWind to stay with the others, she slipped out after him.
She was glad to see he hadn't gone far...if he had decided to run she would have lost sight of him within a few minutes. Instead he was up in a very tall tree, looking out over the forest.
Looking in the direction the island had stood.
It was now just a smoking ruin. Whatever trees had remained had fallen, pushed over by the angry wind. The wind had fueled the small fires, and what had been left was now burned beyond recognition. It was just a black smear on the horizon, smoke still rising, drifting with the wind.
Kagome turned her face from the hot wind and the stinging debris, walking over to the base of the tree, and looked up at him.
"InuYasha?"
She had had to call him a second time before he heard her. He blinked down at her, and turned, hopping down.
"You shouldn't be out here."
"Neither should you. Are...you ok?"
InuYasha crossed his arms, looking away, "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?"
Kagome studied him in silence for a moment, then spoke, "InuYasha. Don't. Don't do that to yourself."
He looked at her, angry, about to retort, to say something angry, but the words died in his throat, and he just sighed, rubbing his face. Kagome was suddenly struck by how tired he seemed.
"I don't understand it," he said, "Izumi closed the last portal without a problem. Why did she die trying to close this one? It was bigger, yeah, but...all the power she had. What happened?"
"I don't know," she said, shielding her face as another gust threw dirt and dust. InuYasha saw, and shook his head. He startled her by suddenly picking her up, and turning, leaping up into the branches of the tree.
He jumped a few times, climbing higher, but staying low where the branches were thick enough to take their weight. He placed her on a branch near where it joined the tree, and slipped past her, sitting beside her.
Kagome noticed right away up here the wind was still hot, but no dirt or dust flew about. The tree swayed a small bit, but nothing alarming.
"Thank you," she said softly. She watched him, knowing his face well enough to know he needed to talk.
He just nodded, and said nothing, looking over the treetops. The island couldn't be seen from here, but the long trail of black smoke could as it rose higher than the treetops.
Kagome leaned against the trunk of the treee, resting her head against it, and watched the smoke quietly. She could still see the giant burning mountain, the meteor, falling from the sky, blasting past them in a deafening roar of fire and smoke and destruction and death, could still see the brilliant white light that blocked all view...could still see the giant cloud forming over the obliterated island, the cloud that rose into a mushroom shape. The shock wave, racing over the water towards them...
She remembered the demon lord's voice, suddenly shocked, remembered him taking a step, reaching out as if he could have touched the island, remembered Sesshomaru's cry, "Izumi!"
Even he had been shocked at the power of the destruction, the force of the impact...
"I..."
Kagome turned, looking at InuYasha. He was looking down at Tetsusaiga, which he had pulled from his hakama, resting it in it's sheath across his thighs.
"InuYasha?"
His voice was very low, very troubled, "I think...I might have killed her."
Kagome blinked, leaning towards him a little.
"What do you mean? You were back with us when that...that...meteor hit. You didn't do that."
"No, but I...I..."
She watched him.
He couldn't meet her eyes, "I tried to close the portal. By myself."
Kagome frowned, "What? What are you saying?"
He looked at her, suddenly angry and upset, and frightened, "I tried to close the portal by myself, Kagome! I thought I could do it, but I couldn't! She told me I couldn't, but I tried anyway!"
She watched him, eyes wide, "What...what happened?"
"I...it was like she said. The...the portal took all my power. I tried to use the SolarFlare on it, but it just...it sucked it right in, like it was sucking up a noodle or something! It took it, and it made it stronger, more powerful. It corrupted it somehow, but made it stronger. Then it...it turned it back on me."
Kagome continued to listen, shocked.
InuYasha rubbed his face again, "I panicked. I mean...the SolarFlare wouldn't normally hurt me. Iz - Izumi said it can't hurt people who aren't agents of Keimetsu. So normally...but this SolarFlare was corrupted. And so strong. And I...I panicked." He said the last as if he were cursing himself. Which he was.
"And...what happened?"
InuYasha looked back down to the Tetsusaiga, unable to meet her eyes, "I tried the Blacklash Wave. I wanted to just blow that the hell away from me. But it...the portal took that too."
She continued to stare, shocked.
"It took the Backlash, and it...it sucked everything out of Tetsusaiga. And me. I could feel it draining out of me. Tetsusaiga...Tetsusaiga fought back, but it was overwhelmed. It just failed. And then everything hit me, the SolarFlare, the Backlash, everything."
"What happened to you!?"
He shook his head, "I was knocked cold. Took out a bunch of trees, tore a pretty damn big hole in the ground. Izumi found me, I guess, and brought me to. Gave me Tetsusaiga, and sent me back to you guys. She said she was going to close the portal. And from now on, to call Mikado if we saw another portal."
Silence. The wind moaned around them.
He spoke again, "If I hadn't tried to close that damn portal, when Izumi got there, it wouldn't have been more powerful. Izumi had to fight the portal, and my SolarFlare and Backlash Wave."
Kagome shook her head, "InuYasha...I don't mean to belittle you or anything, but...I don't think your SolarFlare and Backlash Wave could do too much to Izumi. She was practically a demi-god. She had absorbed so much power by being in Amaterasu's presence..."
InuYasha looked back to her, golden eyes dark, "Then why did she die? It makes so sense."
"I...I don't know. But...InuYasha...you said Izumi said if we found another portal to call Mikado to close it?"
"Yeah."
"Why would she say that?"
"What do you mean?"
Kagome paused, then spoke, "Why wouldn't she say to call her? She visits ...visited...us a lot more than Mikado does."
Silence. He looked at her, eyes widening slightly, "You're not saying..."
"I...I don't know."
"You think she knew?"
Kagome leaned back, not liking the look in his eyes, "I don't know, InuYasha, I'm not her. I... I just think it was an odd thing to say. And...I mean...what happened? The whole meteor...that's not Izumi. Did she do that? Or someone else? Was that how someone decided to kill her, or..."
"Why would Izumi drop a damn mountain on that island?! Look what it did to the shoreline! Boats were destroyed, fishermen had their wharves ruined! It'll take months to fix everything! That's not Izumi, she wouldn't do that!"
"No, you're right, of course she wouldn't. Which makes me think someone else must have used it as an attack on her...but..."
InuYasha looked back to the Tetsusaiga. Had she known? Had Izumi somehow known she was going to die?
He suddenly remembered her face, looking so exhausted, so tired. What had happened? Had she been attacked before reaching the island?
Laying a hand on the sheath of Tetsusaiga, he remembered seeing the Goddess' symbol, the sunburst, on his Tetsusaiga flickering and flashing in bits and pieces instead of one steady glow, like normal. It was evidence Tetsusaiga had been having trouble fending off the attack.
Had even Tetsusaiga suffered because of him?
Forgive me, Tetsusaiga. And forgive me, Izumi. I'm sorry.
Kagome watched his face, "You're blaming yourself. You can't, InuYasha. How could you have done anything to harm Izumi? She was so much more powerful than you!"
"I don't know," he said lowly.
A sudden thought popped into her head, and she turned to him, suddenly taking his arm, "InuYasha, you have to promise me something."
He blinked at her, at her sudden, urgent tone, "What?"
"Promise me you won't talk about this, or mention any of it, in Sesshomaru's presence."
InuYasha blinked, "What?"
"Promise me you won't say you feel like it's your fault Izumi died in his presence, or anywhere he can hear. Promise me!"
"Alright, ok, but what's the deal?"
Kagome suddenly remembered the demon lord on the ruined island. How shocked he had looked when he had seen Izumi lying beneath the wreckage. And how he had...
Embraced her?
The look on his face as he turned, carrying her off to see to her remains. There had been a strange look on his face she had never seen before...a mixture of anger and...regret? Grief?
"InuYasha, if Sesshomaru thinks you had any part to play in Izumi's death, he'll try to kill you."
InuYasha blinked again, "What? Kagome, I'm telling you, Sesshomaru didn't-"
"If you had seen him on that island, InuYasha, you'd say different. He took her remains to give her the burial she wanted. Does Sesshomaru seem like the type of person who would do that for anyone?"
He opened his mouth to speak, and shut it again. He shook his head, "No. I don't believe it."
"Regardless, promise me!"
"Alright, ok, I promise!"
She fell silent again, looking out towards the black smoke.
Everything was falling apart. People hunting InuYasha in her world, now Izumi was gone.
"Kagome?"
She turned, looking at him. He was watching her, worried. Hesitantly, he touched her shoulder, "We...we'll be ok."
"Yeah," she said lamely, "I know."
He just watched her, unsure of what to say, or do.
"InuYasha!?"
Blinking, both InuYasha and Kagome turned, looking down to the ground. At Mikado, who was looking up at them with grief on her face.
"Where is she? What happened to Izumi?!"
"You... don't know?"
"Of course I don't know!" Mikado screamed, leaping up into the branches of the tree opposite them. Her face was haggard and pale, clothing rumpled, "We just lost all contact with her! She just disappeared! She can't have died, she can't!"
"She...she's gone, Mikado," Kagome said softly.
"What happened!? Tell me what happened!"
Hesitantly, InuYasha related what had happened, keeping his face lowered, unable to meet her eyes. No matter what Kagome said, he somehow felt it was his fault she was gone. If he hadn't powered the portal with his SolarFlare and the Backlash Wave, maybe it wouldn't have killed her.
Mikado shook her head, angry, "No. That wouldn't have done it. You shouldn't have tried to close the portal, you fool, but not even your SolarFlare and the Backlash Wave would have killed Izumi. It might have roughed her up some, but not killed her! There must be more!"
"I'm telling you all I know!" he said, growing angry, glaring at her, "That's all that happened!"
"I saw her, Mikado," Kagome said, "And she was...she was gone."
"Well where is she?! What did you do with her body!?"
"Sesshomaru took it."
"Sesshomaru!?"
InuYasha looked away, "I was...I was going to...bury her next to my mother. But Kagome said that Sesshomaru said that Izumi had once told him what she wanted done with her remains if anything..."
"None of this is making any sense!" Mikado said, furious.
"How did you hear about it, Mikado?" Kagome asked.
"Hear about it!? I felt it! Something happened, something not allowed. It was like a bell going off or something! I felt it deep inside me! Then this...this wrenching feeling. Then ..."
Mikado fell silent.
"Mikado?"
"Then Mother Amateraru screamed."
She fell silent, her face pale, "She...she called out to Izumi. But there was no answer. And I could see on her face, there was no...nothing."
Mikado looked at Kagome, and the young woman was shocked to see tears welling up in the Senmin's eyes, "Mother Amaterasu looked at me and cried, "Where is my daughter!?", and I didn't know. I didn't know! I couldn't find her either. And if Izumi can't be found by Amaterasu...then...it's...because she's gone from this world."
Silence. The wind moaned around them.
Mikado sobbed, wiping her tears angrilly, "I'm not ready to do this! I wasn't supposed to be in control during this war! Izumi was supposed to take care of all this!"
"Is Amaterasu doing this?" InuYasha asked, "This storm?"
"No. At least, not directly."
"Not directly? What the hell does that mean?"
"The gods are fighting, InuYasha. There's a war in the heavens."
InuYasha fell silent, confused.
Mikado sniffed, wiping her nose, and continued, "When Izumi died, it left a lot of chaos. No one saw it coming. It wasn't fortold in any of the fates the Gods looked into."
"I thought Izumi was a Fate Breaker?"
"You're a Fate Breaker, Kagome. You and your friends. We're not, not even Izumi and I. Our fates are predetermined. There are several that could come true, but all were studied by the Gods. And Izumi dying now was not in any of them."
"So why is everyone fighting?"
"Some of the Gods are...afraid."
"What?"
"They're starting to think Keimetsu might be too powerful for us. Some are...no one has said anything yet, but some are considering...trying to achieve peace with them. Seeing what his demands are."
InuYasha blinked at her, furious, "What his demands are?! He wants to destroy everything! That's his demands! How the hell do you agree to something like that!?"
Mikado rubbed her face, tiredly, "That's what the war is about. It's a war of words, but it's still violent."
A strong wind battered the trees they perched in, as if to agree.
"How is it that Izumi died, if her fate was predetermined?" Kagome asked gently.
"I don't know. The...the only way I can is...if...if she ... killed herself."
"What?"
"It's how it would happen. That was the only way she could have avoided her fate. But why? Why would she do that?"
Kagome studied Mikado, then spoke, "You said you felt that something had happened. Something not allowed. What do you mean?"
Mikado closed her eyes, sighing, "The Gods, and we Senmin, have limitations placed on us. Our limitations are placed on us by the Gods."
"The...the Gods have limitations placed on them? By who?"
Mikado shrugged, "I don't know. They won't tell, and I consider it rude to ask. Regardless, there are certain limitations. They can't unmake anything. They can't-"
"You mean you can't destroy things? That's not right, I've seen-"
"No, InuYasha, they can't unmake them. There's a difference."
"Like what?"
Mikado looked at Kagome, "She would understand. It has to do with destroying what her world calls matter."
Kagome blinked, "I...yeah. You can't destroy matter, you can only change it's form. We learned that in physics."
"Exactly."
"I don't know what you're talking about!" InuYasha complained.
"Just suffice to say, there are things we can't do, and things the Gods can't do. They're not allowed to bring people back from the dead. They're not allowed to-"
"But...people have come back from the dead." Kagome said softly.
Mikado nodded, "Yes, but the Gods can't."
"Why not?"
Mikado started to look frusterated, "They just can't! Let's say you discovered a human you liked! And he died. So you bring him back. And he dies again. And you bring him back again. The human mind can't take that. It can't take being yanked back and forth like that. That's why Amaterasu didn't let Sango die. When Sango died, her soul was held in check by Amaterasu, it didn't go to the next world. If it had, not even Amaterasu could have brought her back. Sometimes, mortals can bring people back. Like Kikyo."
"Why could a mortal, when a God can't?"
"I just told you, a God could bring someone back over and over and over. A mortal only has so much, and then they die."
"I'm not following you," InuYasha grumbled.
Mikado sighed, "Ok, look. Say you die, InuYasha. And Kagome brings you back. Even if you die three or four times, if you're unbelievably unlucky, eventually, Kagome will die, and your Yo-yo-ing back and forth will stop. A God doesn't have that limitation, so you could just be yo-yo-ed back and forth forever. Your soul would become tattered and torn as a result. Gods...don't have souls as we think of them, so they can't understand how it would feel. So they just can't bring anyone back."
"Oh."
"So if InuYasha died, he - '
Mikado suddenly froze, mid-word. She stopped, looking at InuYasha with a strange look on her face.
"What did you say happened on that island?"
InuYasha blinked, and repeated what he had said earlier.
Kagome frowned, looking from Mikado to InuYasha. Was there something she had missed? Was-
Mikado's words, "If InuYasha died, he - "
And his own, "I was knocked out."
Kagome looked down at her own feet, shocked. Were you knocked out, InuYasha, or were you killed?
She looked up, to see Mikado looking straight at her, a shocked look on her face, and knew the Senmin was thinking the same thing. Mikado gave Kagome a very small shake of her head, and Kagome looked away.
"What's going on, why did you stop talking?" InuYasha asked.
"Nothing. I just...I just suddenly remembered something. I have to go. I..." Mikado stood up, "I'll be in touch with you, let you know what's going on. I have to get back..."
Kagome nodded, and stood up as well, "We need to get back to the others, InuYasha, they might worry."
InuYasha picked Kagome up, and jumped down to the ground. As he was putting her on her feet, Mikado's voice spoke directly into her mind.
~Do not let him know what happened. I think we both know what happened, but don't let him know. Not yet.~
Kagome paused, trying to talk back the way she did to DarkWind, not sure if Mikado would be able to hear her, ~Not ever. If he ever finds out she died because of him-~
There was no reply, and she didn't know if the Senmin had heard her or not.
InuYasha touched her arm, and she realized she had stopped walking when Mikado had spoken, "Kagome?"
"Yeah. Let's go."
The wind rattled the window coverings violently. The old woman stood up, tottering over to them, making sure the coverings were well tied down.
"My goodness, what a terrible night. Such a storm."
The young woman seated on the other side of the room took no notice of the wind or the storm.
She sat cross-legged, holding up a small mirror, looking at her face in silence.
Staring.
There was color in her face. Her cheeks were pink.
I have color in my face again, Kikyo thought.
She lowered a hand to her chest, feeling her heart beating.
I'm alive.
"Priestess, do you think this storm is a bad omen?"
"What?" Kikyo looked up from the mirror, looking at the old woman, almost dazed, "I'm sorry?"
The old woman chuckled, "I said, do you think this storm is a bad omen? First the drought, and now this..."
"Oh. No, I'm certain it's just a terrible storm. It will blow over."
"Perhaps you're right."
The Priestess looked back to the mirror again, thinking, dazed, I'm alive.