DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, am making no money, so don't sue me. Heck, even the title is from a song in Sleeping Beauty (got it stuck in my head the other day).

SPOILERS: None for this chapter.

A/N: Okay, I want to do something for Dean/Cas like I did for Sheyla over on SGA (shameless self promotion - The Last Of The Popcorn, tons of Sheyla moments. If that's you SGA ship, have a look!) Anyway. That means this "story" will just be bunch of one shots, all with separate titles, ratings, may be fluff, angst, romance, different lengths etc. Which will be posted at the top of the fic. Some of them may go together - hence the Part 1/? of how ever many. So you'll know which ones go together. Plus if they go together, they'll be posted all in a row. And sometimes people other than Dean or Cas will show up, but it will still be about the Dean/Cas relationship.

A/N 2: I'm not trying to offend anyone with this either. I love gay men (some of my best friends are gay, and they're great people) and, really, if I had issues with any of it, would I be writing slash? I don't think so. So anything, I write, don't take a bad way. It's all for dramatic effect. Just FYI.

ONCE UPON A DREAM

Ashamed (Part 1/2)

"He's ashamed of you brother." Uriel said with a sneer.

Castiel looked at his companion, "He is not." he stated. Castiel did not believe the words of the other angel. It had started not long ago, him and Dean. For a month, perhaps just a little more, they had been trading whispered words and kisses. Sharing their bodies, their souls. Never had Dean looked at him with shame.

Uriel snorted through his vessel, the black man's head rocking. "He defiles your vessel in the dark, holds you at a distance in the day." Dark brown eyes latch on to Castiel, and Uriel continued, "He fears his mutant brother's reaction. He doesn't want him to know."

"That he loves?" There was much that Castiel knew of Dean, little details and intricacies only a lover would know. But there was more to Dean that he didn't - he didn't know all of his charge's past. What was well known among the angels was Dean's torrid affair with lust. Castiel knew that Dean had been with many women, very few more than once. Yes, those had been lust. Temporary solutions to a lifelong loneliness.

What he didn't know, was the hurt, if any, that Dean had suffered at the hands love. Dean was an attractive man, almost unnaturally so, Castiel knew there had to have been someone, outside of his family, to cause him true heartache. He knew that Dean feared rejection, that he was always scared the next time would be the last.

Castiel did not think Dean was ashamed, only afraid. Dean believed no good thing came to him and that if it did, it surely wouldn't last. So why would the human boast of something he feared doomed, no matter how often Castiel told him otherwise? Their's was not a fleeting passion. It was real. Castiel knew it, and he did not appreciate his brother's sentiment.

"That he loves a man. Has lain with man." Uriel's attention returned to the park before them.

Castiel followed his brother's gaze. He watched the early morning sunlight catch and reflect off the dewy grass, and glint off the shiny metal of a slide and swings and monkey bars. He listened to birds waking to the day, singing songs of simple peace.

Uriel vanished, but his words hung.

Did the sex of Castiel's vessel make a difference? Had the vessel been female, would Dean still keep their relationship… quiet?

Surely not. If that made the difference, then Dean would never have been with him in the first place. Would never return a kiss, wouldn't caress and pull and take.

Or did Dean take from him, only because Castiel offered? Worse, did Castiel only offer out of pity? Out of a need to try and heal a broken charge?

It burned at the angel the way Uriel's words tore at him. Made him doubt Dean's intentions, doubt his own. Castiel knew how he felt, he loved the man. But he could not allow such actions to continue between them if Uriel's words held any truth, it was… unhealthy.

So Castiel left the park and headed for the Winchesters, for his love.

Sam had left his brother to retrieve breakfast. He found Dean in the bathroom, just coming from the shower. He wore nothing but a towel around his waist, beads of water, and Castiel's mark. He was truly a sight to behold. He didn't announce himself, just watched as water dripped from Dean, watched muscles move beneath flesh that Castiel had repaired.

His charge jumped when he turned, and the angel was only a footfall away. "Jesus, Cas!"

Despite himself, Castiel smiled. "You have nothing to hide from me."

Dean smiled back. "Yeah, well… you just… Knock, okay?"

"We need to talk."

The freckled man let out a short laugh. "Don't we always." He walked out of the tiny bathroom towards his bed. Castiel followed a few steps, stopping just outside the bathroom door. Dean looked over his shoulder at him, and Castiel found he couldn't hold his lover's eye. "Hey." Feet shuffled closer, and soon there was hand on his shoulder, and Dean was ducking his head to find Castiel's eyes. "What's wrong?"

The dark haired man straightened, watched as the human before him did the same and said, "I have been thinking." He can see a flash of something in the younger man's eyes, and he knows Dean is preparing for the worst. Castiel can see walls coming up behind the hazel eyes. "I do… love you, Dean."

The hand disappeared from his shoulder. "But?" Dean interrupted. There was sadness in his voice that cut at the angel. He couldn't fail to notice that Dean did not return his declaration, but instead feared it.

Blue eyes darted to the side, away from the look Dean was giving him. "Uriel-"

"Oh, come on." Dean butt in again. "Uriel? Cas, that guy wouldn't know a good thing if it bit him in the ass." He took a step back and Castiel could feel eyes burning into him. "What did he say?"

Castiel said nothing, unsure how to broach the subject. He said nothing as Dean turned away from his, and marched over to his bed, to his clothes, muttering about Uriel. He watched as the hunter slid into his underwear and pants, then stopped, put a hand on his hip and rubbed at his face.

Then he turned back to Castiel and said, "I mean, what? He told you it's not okay, it's not allowed? You have to stop?"

Castiel moved across the room, coming to a stop not a foot in front of his charge, and canted his head to the side. This was much too important for Castiel to waver on the sidelines. He would be direct. His voice was low and quiet as he asked, "Are you ashamed?" He locked onto Dean's eyes, wouldn't let them wander.

There was a beat of silence before the man answered, "What?"

"Are you ashamed?" He repeated.

~*~*~*~

"What?" Dean asked again, and he knew it was stupid. Knew that Cas wouldn't understand his reasons for repeating himself. He was just a little caught of guard, ashamed? Cas thought he was ashamed?

The angel opened his mouth to repeat himself and Dean raised a hand to stop him. He didn't want to hear the question again, not when Cas was looking at him like that, not when he sounded like that. Wounded. He'd wounded his angel, his lover and didn't know how he'd done it, but he must have. Because Cas didn't just walk around looking and sounding betrayed.

"No." He shook his head, and stared back. "No. What the hell, Cas?"

"Uriel-"

"Uriel? Uriel doesn't know anything about people, and he really doesn't know anything about me. Why would you believe him, Cas? Why?" He thought they trusted each other, he thought that Cas knew how he felt. He didn't know what Uriel could have said to make the man question him, but whatever it was must have been big.

It had been strange and difficult for Dean to drop the walls, to let the other man in, knowing that Castiel would still be around after they were finished. Hell, that had been part of the reason he'd been ready to try it, to return what he thought he angel was putting out there. He wanted there to be someone, all the time, any time. Someone to have his back - no pun intended - someone to share… himself with. That's all he'd wanted, that's what he thought they'd had.

It was so simple and easy and good, it didn't even matter to Dean that Cas was an angel. An angel wearing a man. He didn't care, because it was more than that. And Uriel had taken the steps to break them apart.

He felt hurt, and little betrayed by the accusing stare the dark haired man was giving him. He wasn't ashamed, not of Cas, not of himself, not of them. He wasn't. This thing with Cas was good, it was right, it made him feel better. More human. Loved.

Castiel had said he loved Dean. Hurt and confused as the angel was, he'd still said it. Dean wanted to believe me meant it. He didn't want Cas to walk away, to leave him.

"Are you finished?" Cas asked.

Dean knew he'd have to keep his head, answer Cas' questions and try to figure out what had prompted the speculation, aside that jackass Uriel.

"I'm not ashamed." Dean sat on the edge on his bed, dropping his hands into his lap. "I don't understand where this is coming from, Cas. What did I do?"

Beige coat folded as Cas took a seat opposite him. Their knees almost touched, and even with his head down, Dean could see the other man's hands. "Nothing, Dean. That is why Uriel's words were able to find purchase in my mind."

Dean looked up and caught blue eyes. "I'm sorry?" he offered. He still didn't get it.

"If you are unashamed-"

"I am."

Cas' lips twitched in a small smile, it sent a shot of hope through Dean. Maybe it would be okay; maybe Cas didn't really believe Uriel. "I… wish to believe that." the angel said. Dean's shoulders sagged.

After everything, Cas didn't trust him, didn't believe him. He thought Dean was ashamed of him.

"I need to understand, Dean. I… want to know… why."

"Why what?" his voice was small. He didn't see this conversation going well. What if Cas wanted to know something that Dean couldn't explain? What if he didn't have an answer? Would Cas leave, take his love and go home?

"If you are unashamed…" Dean cut his lover off with a look. If he said that word, or any variety there of, Dean was going to flip. Cas seemed to get the point, as he nodded his head just so before continuing, "Is it because you fear Sam's reaction?"

"I…" he started, then realized he wasn't really sure what he was being asked. "Is what because of Sam?" he wished his angel would stop talking to him like everything had already been explained, because Dean felt like an ass and didn't know what to say.

A hand snaked out and found his knee, Dean's eyes darted down to it before finding Castiel's again. "Why doesn't Sam know?"

That's what this was about? Cas though Dean didn't want him, was ashamed of him, because Sam didn't know. "Because it's none of his business, Cas. It's got nothing to do with shame. Me and Sam… we aren't… things aren't what they used to be between us."

"You don't hide us from Sam because the nature of my vessel?"

"You think I'm ashamed of us because you're a guy?" He put his hand on top of his lover's. "If that were the case, it wouldn't have happened in the first place. I mean… it was different, and I was a little, you know, concerned, but… it's not about that, Cas. Not with you."

"But you won't tell your brother?"

Dean let out a frustrated growl as he rose to his feet. "Is that what you want? Is that what I need to do to convince you I love you? Because I shouldn't have to convince you, I shouldn't have to tell people to make you believe me."

Cas rose as well, and Dean didn't understand the smile pulling at the tax accountants lips. "You love me?"

Dean opened his mouth the respond, and closed it without speaking. It was the first time he'd said it, and he hadn't really even thought about it, it just rushed out. He lifted an arm and tried to speak again, again no word left his lips, and his arm dropped down. Finally, he pushed out a breathy, "Yeah. I do."

"Would it bother you so much if others knew?"

Dean didn't want to be labeled gay. He fell in love with a being that happened to be wearing a man, and he didn't care about that. He just didn't want people to look at him like he was a weird. He was already a freak, and he already got looks for that, him and his whole family. And he wasn't sure Sam would get it. Sam already looked at him with so much pity it hurt; he didn't want his brother to think he was just taking what ever he could get, where ever he could find it.

He didn't want Cas to think that either. "No… I just, Sam…"

Dean looked at the angel, he didn't know how to explain, didn't know what to say. Castiel's eyes darted to the door and back to Dean. He tilted his head and took a step forward.

"You love me?" he asked again.

He was so close Dean could feel his breath. "Yeah."

"Then do not fear it." Castiel said, closing the space between them, placing his lips against Dean's.

Dean let himself slide into the kiss, forgot everything else. The world became Castiel and Dean was more than happy to get lost there. He felt nimble fingers press against the flesh of his torso, and his own fingers curled into the white work shirt Castiel was always wearing.

He put as much passion, as much love as he could into returning the kiss. He needed Cas to know that's how he felt, that nothing was going to change it.

Dean didn't hear the door open. He did hear his brother's shocked, "Uhhh… what… the hell?"

Castiel pulled his lips away, and dropped his hands. Dean looked at his brother but still held onto the angel. Sam was shaking his head, he let out a huff and the corners of his lips were twitching up in a disbelieving smile. "Dean… I'll… come back."

Dean had no idea what Sam was thinking as he backed out of the room, but Dean knew what he was thinking. He looked at the blue eyed man. "You knew he was coming." It was a statement, not a question. And he wasn't angry. Really, Cas had done him a favor. He didn't have to be afraid of Sam's reaction anymore. He didn't have to worry about anything. Cas was there, would be there. "Sneaky, Cas, sneaky." He pushed another quick kiss to his angel's lips before he said, "But now you're gonna have to hold that thought."

Dean let go of the white shirt and walked out the door, after his brother.

~*~*~*~

Sam figured Dean would come after him, try to explain things. Plus Sam still had breakfast in his hands.

"What'd you get me? Pie?" There was undue cheeriness in Dean's voice. When Sam didn't respond, but instead kept walking, Dean let out a sigh and said, "You've been sleeping with a demon, so-"

Sam turned on his brother, cutting him off. "Sleeping? You've been sleeping with him?"

Dean sighed again, and looked around the parking lot. "You don't have to like it."

"It's not that, it's…" Sam wasn't a jerk. He wanted his brother to be happy. "He's a he, Dean."

"What?" Dean asked with wide eyes. "No. No, I would have noticed." he said, mock fear and sarcasm in his voice. Sam was unimpressed. He crossed his arms over his chest and shot his older brother a look. Dean continued, serious again, "I know that, Sam. So what? He had to get a body, okay, it's not like he could swing by Vessels-R-Us and pick the one he liked best." Dean's shoulders sagged, and his hands flopped at his sides. "It's not about his body, I don't care that it's… it's about him, Sam. Him. He cares, he wants me, he… he loves me."

"He loves you?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, Sam. Love. You don't think someone can love me?"

"Dean." Sam huffed. He wanted to say that Dean didn't need the angel for those things. That Sam cared for him, that Sam wanted him, that Sam loved him. Because he did. All those things Sam felt, but maybe he wasn't expressing them properly. No, scratch that. He knew he wasn't, but still… the angel? "He's an angel, Dean."

"Yeah, and?"

"You think he's telling the truth?"

"What would he have to gain by lying about it?"

"Well, I don't know. Your trust? Your sympathies." He tossed out a hand, still holding a bag of food. Dean eyed it and Sam dropped the bad on the hood of the nearest car.

"He's not lying."

Sam shook his head. "How do you kn-"

"I know!" Dean bit out. "I know, Sam. And I know, you think it's weird and angels can't feel and blah, blah, blah, but you don't know! Okay? He loves me. Deal with it."

Sam didn't want this to push them apart, their relationship was already strained and string thin. He wanted his brother; he had been mental as anything without Dean. Sam would do anything for him, kill anything, die any time, and do what ever was needed to save him. But maybe, just maybe, he couldn't love Dean the way his brother needed to be loved.

But Castiel? He didn't know what game the angels were playing, didn't know if this was just a part of it, but Sam trusted Dean, broken as he was. Dean was no fool; he knew what he was doing… most of the time.

He shook his head. "Dean…" He supposed it could be worse. At the very least Castiel wasn't a demon, but… love? Could the angel love? What if he just vanished one day, and never came back? Sam knew what that would do. Dean and loss were like oil and water. They just didn't go together.

Dean was already wrecked. He didn't need the added pressures of a relationship, that Sam was pretty sure was going to end up being unhealthy. For all parties involved. At the same time Sam knew he wasn't really helping the situation, he wasn't there for Dean the way he should have been. He couldn't be, there was too much at risk and Sam still had so much to learn.

Sam looked at his brother, dropping his eyes, then bringing them back and holding onto Dean's gaze. There was more life in those hazel eyes than Sam had seen in a long time. Certainly since he'd come back from Hell. If Castiel could bring some of his big brother back, give Sam the Dean he remembered… okay, then. He'd deal with it, he'd watch over his brother, and so help him God if that angel did anything to him…

"Okay."

Dean's head turned slightly, he looked at Sam from the corner of his eyes with suspicion. "Okay?" he asked.

"Okay." Sam repeated. His brother deserved to be happy, short lived or otherwise. And happiness was hard to come by these days. Dean looked at him with a skeptical eye. "Dude, it's fine. Seriously."

"You're not going to be… weird about it?"

"Well… I mean, yeah, it's weird, but… it's okay." Sam smiled tentatively, reached out a hand and clapped his brother on the shoulder. It was only then that he noticed Dean wasn't fully dressed. "He's… uh, well, you always said he was a…" And as okay as Sam was with it, which really, was only just barely okay, he couldn't make himself say the word 'dick' in front of his brother now.

Apparently it wasn't a problem for Dean. "A dick?"

"Yeah."

Dean shrugged, "Once you get past it… he's a good man."

"Angel." Sam smiled. "You really were… touched by an angel."

"Yeah, that's… really not very funny." Dean said. His older brother shot a look back at the door to their room, where Sam was pretty sure Castiel was still waiting. He wondered what exactly he'd walked in on. Had Dean been getting dressed and the angel showed up or… well, was it the other way around, and Dean was getting undressed.

Sam shook his head. It was best not to think about it, so he asked, "Do I need to, um, take a walk around the block?" He really didn't want to walk in on any damn thing.

His brother turned back to him wearing a huge grin. "Probably a few times."

Sam smiled to hide the grimace and the shudder. It would be weird thing to try and get used to. Dean and Castiel. A couple. But if Dean was happy, if he stopped wallowing in undeserved guilt, Sam would take whatever it was that made his brother that way. He'd missed that grin, missed the life in Dean's eyes.

It broke his heart that he wasn't the source of it, but it was just good to see it.

"Go." Sam said, jerking his head to the side. He laughed at Dean's back, and his brother stopped and looked at him. Sam grinned at him. "All those times people though we were a couple… you were totally spiking their gay-dar."

Dean shot him a look and a finger and went back to the room.

Just so you know, part two will be much shorter, but I hope you'll all like it just as much as I hope you liked this part. Yay.

R and R, please.