Milk on a Deserted Island
Just a little side note: I own nothing on this little skit thing except the story. The characters and stuff belong to Square Enix. Not me.
Chapter One...
Kadaj: Ugh... So... Hungry... I wonder what Reno's up to.
Reno: Ugh... So... Hungry... I wonder if remnants are edible... Well, I guess there's only one way to find out...
-Reno absent mindedly grabs Kadaj's hand and lifts it to his mouth-
Kadaj: Eh- RENO!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?
Reno: -sigh- I'm hungry, damnit! I need something to eat!
Kadaj: -viciously pulls hand away- Then go find your own damn food! I'm not for eating. Only select people can do that.
Reno: ... Oh, am I not good enough for you now?
Kadaj: Never said that. I just don't want to be eaten ALIVE is all.
Reno: What kind of monster do you take me for? I'd obviously kill you first. -grin-
Kadaj: As if. You couldn't even kill Yazoo or Loz... Sissy.
Reno: -hesitant- T-the sun was in my eyes.
Kadaj: You have goggles, dumbass.
Reno: Those are not for wearing. They are purely for the fangirls.
Kadaj: ...Which are non-existent for you.
Reno: :
Kadaj: ... Nice comeback.
-While the bickering continues, smart Kadaj looks over towards the shoreline and notices something strange...-
Kadaj: Reno.
Reno: ...-continuous blabbering about how the ladies love him-
Kadaj: RENO. SHUT UP AND LOOK. -slapslap-
Reno: -looks- What is that?
Kadaj: -gets up to go see it- -picks it up-
Reno: Well?
Kadaj: It's milk.
Reno: . . . . Milk?
Kadaj: Yes. A small carton of milk.
Reno: Ah... That's interesting.
-Commence long pause as they ponder what to do with it. Suddenly, they both look up at each other and realize that they are possibly saved.-
Reno: ...
Kadaj: ...
Reno and Kadaj: IT'S MINE!
Kadaj: No, I found it first!
Reno: So what? You're evil! No one likes the bad guy!
Kadaj: On the contrary, evil bad-asses are sexier.
Reno: Stupid leather suit... Why couldn't Square Enix give ME the leather?
Kadaj: Okay, I have an idea. If we want to extend our life at all, we need to make this last as long as possible. If we can trace where it may have came from...
Reno: ... -snatchmilk-
Kadaj: H-hey!!!!
Reno: -running away- Ha ha HA! -chanting- I'm gonna liiiive, Kadaj is gonna diiiie...
Kadaj: GRRRR... FINE! TAKE THE DAMN MILK! I DON'T CARE!
Reno: -keeps running until he's deep within the forest-
Whew... I think I lost him. Ah, at last. Something to nourish myself...
-opens milk carton-
Milk Carton: MOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Reno: ... WTF... WHERE'S THE MILK!?!?
-Kadaj peers around a tree-
Kadaj: It's called karma, Reno... KARMA.
Reno: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? WE'RE STILL BOTH GONNA DIE, DUMBSHIT!!
Kadaj: That may be so, but at least we both get a snazzy prize.
Reno: And HOW, my anorexic albino friend, are we gonna use it on this island?
Kadaj: ...
Reno: ...?
Kadaj: Didn't really think about that.
Reno: I can see that.
-Will our heroes be able to escape the inevitable death that awaits them on the island? Will they be able to survive another day? Or better yet, will they be able to survive another day of EACHOTHER? Find out next time, fool.-