Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, do not sue me. This is merely for entertainment, nothing else.
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Mild language and suicidal thoughts
Note: Sakura POV
Because Of You
One-Coward
by Sakura Maxwell
Ah.. Here I am, in my room, all alone. Sitting on my soft bed, locked my self in my own room as Otousan and Oniisan are eating downstairs. Like they care that I didn't eat dinner and like I locked myself in this room for the whole day. Nope, little Sakura is fine. She just doesn't feel well today.
Well, I guess that's the truth. I don't feel well, not at all. But then again, I never do.. Not anymore. See, no one knows the real me anymore. How I've been ever since..he left.
I kept my happy, cheerful face on..but now, that's only a mask. A mask to conceal everything within me, what I really feel like. No one cares about me.. No, not in the way I want them to. Actually, I really don't care if they love me or not, but I know they don't.
Otousan, he's too busy with work now. Oniisan, work and Yukito. Tomoyo, helping her mom. Chiharu, Rika, Naoko, all in different jobs. All too busy for little me. Little Sakura.
Oh look, I'm crying. I wonder why.. Damnit, I know why I am! It's because, some stupid idiot made me born and put me through all of this shit.
Someone up there wants me to suffer and has fun watching me suffer. Why else would I not have the courage to commit suicide? Hm? See, no one loves me, so what reason is there to live?
I pound the bed with my fist. "What reason is there for me to live?!" I cry out. I'm sure the two downstairs can't hear me. That's all well and good. Wouldn't wanna upset them, now would I? Of course, they wouldn't care if I was to die.
I keep pounding the bed. "God, you cursed me to go through the torment, and not have courage!" I scream, the tears falling on the bed. I don't care.
Then I get this feeling.. A feeling I never have gotten before all the other times I've tried suicide. Like, some sort of spark. I can picture myself in the shower with that razor and just slicing my skin, my wrist, and the blood dripping.. Going..Washing down the drain.
I wipe my tears away hastily and grab any clothes. I know this feeling won't last much longer, definately not to tomorrow. I have to do this now or I might never have the courage to.
I shut and lock the door in the bathroom and peel off my clothes and step inside the shower. I start the warm water and let myself get all wet.
I reach up and grab the razor with the sharp blade. Ha ha.. They really should be careful of what they keep in here. They just take for granted what a suicidal mind like me can actually do I suppose.
I'm holding the blade to my wrist. But then something stops me from actually scraping it against my skin. What is it?!
The smiling face of Syaoran crosses my vision.
I step back against the shower wall and drop the razor. I hear it hit the water flowing into the drain.
Why the.. Why did Syaoran pass through my thoughts? He..he left a long time ago.. Left for Hong Kong, never came back, never called, never wrote back to any of my letters... So why?! Why did he show up?!
At this point I'm shaking. I don't get it. Why him? He doesn't love me. So why should I care? Is someone trying to tell me to live only for Syaoran? ...That's ridiculous. Syaoran doesn't love me, so he doesn't matter. Yet..
Bangs covering my face, I pick up the razor and put it back where it belonged and stepped out of the shower.
—
R&R please. Arigato, minna-san.
PS- ...Ewww...Eriol's dubbed name is Eli Moon...Eeewwww.....X_X Now I don't want Nakuru's Eng dub name.. For all I know it could be Nancy...O.o;;
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Mild language and suicidal thoughts
Note: Sakura POV
Because Of You
One-Coward
by Sakura Maxwell
Ah.. Here I am, in my room, all alone. Sitting on my soft bed, locked my self in my own room as Otousan and Oniisan are eating downstairs. Like they care that I didn't eat dinner and like I locked myself in this room for the whole day. Nope, little Sakura is fine. She just doesn't feel well today.
Well, I guess that's the truth. I don't feel well, not at all. But then again, I never do.. Not anymore. See, no one knows the real me anymore. How I've been ever since..he left.
I kept my happy, cheerful face on..but now, that's only a mask. A mask to conceal everything within me, what I really feel like. No one cares about me.. No, not in the way I want them to. Actually, I really don't care if they love me or not, but I know they don't.
Otousan, he's too busy with work now. Oniisan, work and Yukito. Tomoyo, helping her mom. Chiharu, Rika, Naoko, all in different jobs. All too busy for little me. Little Sakura.
Oh look, I'm crying. I wonder why.. Damnit, I know why I am! It's because, some stupid idiot made me born and put me through all of this shit.
Someone up there wants me to suffer and has fun watching me suffer. Why else would I not have the courage to commit suicide? Hm? See, no one loves me, so what reason is there to live?
I pound the bed with my fist. "What reason is there for me to live?!" I cry out. I'm sure the two downstairs can't hear me. That's all well and good. Wouldn't wanna upset them, now would I? Of course, they wouldn't care if I was to die.
I keep pounding the bed. "God, you cursed me to go through the torment, and not have courage!" I scream, the tears falling on the bed. I don't care.
Then I get this feeling.. A feeling I never have gotten before all the other times I've tried suicide. Like, some sort of spark. I can picture myself in the shower with that razor and just slicing my skin, my wrist, and the blood dripping.. Going..Washing down the drain.
I wipe my tears away hastily and grab any clothes. I know this feeling won't last much longer, definately not to tomorrow. I have to do this now or I might never have the courage to.
I shut and lock the door in the bathroom and peel off my clothes and step inside the shower. I start the warm water and let myself get all wet.
I reach up and grab the razor with the sharp blade. Ha ha.. They really should be careful of what they keep in here. They just take for granted what a suicidal mind like me can actually do I suppose.
I'm holding the blade to my wrist. But then something stops me from actually scraping it against my skin. What is it?!
The smiling face of Syaoran crosses my vision.
I step back against the shower wall and drop the razor. I hear it hit the water flowing into the drain.
Why the.. Why did Syaoran pass through my thoughts? He..he left a long time ago.. Left for Hong Kong, never came back, never called, never wrote back to any of my letters... So why?! Why did he show up?!
At this point I'm shaking. I don't get it. Why him? He doesn't love me. So why should I care? Is someone trying to tell me to live only for Syaoran? ...That's ridiculous. Syaoran doesn't love me, so he doesn't matter. Yet..
Bangs covering my face, I pick up the razor and put it back where it belonged and stepped out of the shower.
—
R&R please. Arigato, minna-san.
PS- ...Ewww...Eriol's dubbed name is Eli Moon...Eeewwww.....X_X Now I don't want Nakuru's Eng dub name.. For all I know it could be Nancy...O.o;;