Changes

Lily's P.O.V

I knew it then that something was going to change. And I had a feeling it wouldn't be a good change. It'd be the kind of change that ruined our friendship. That left us in awkward silences wondering what could be said. And I can safely bet that it's going to suck. Big time.

Journal entry

I was right with the awkward silences sucking. 'Cos they do suck by the way. I don't think I've ever heard James say so many umms and err in one sitting before. He blushes too. I never knew that boy could blush. But I smiled at him this morning and sure enough, he turned red then he stuttered. I never thought I'd live to the day when a Potter blushed and stuttered. Black thought the same thing. Well Melanie is calling. I'm out.

In the GCR (Gryffindor Common Room)

"Sit and spill, Evans." Melanie ordered the minute I stepped foot in the Common Room.

Uh oh she's in one of her moods. After I got myself-comfortable in the big chair I asked, "What am I spilling?"

"What was going on with you and Potter today?"

Ah, I was wondering when this was going to come up. "Nothing is going on between James and me." I responded.

She glared at me, "Liars go to hell," she retorted, "and you're close to earning yourself a first class ticket there."

She's getting good. That almost left a mark. "Ouch Mel, that almost left a mark."

"This secret of yours Lily," she paused for effect, "I will find it out. Most likely from Black, 'cos that pansy Potter tells him everything." Then she was gone. Just like that. In a flurry of fury up the stairs to the 7th year boys dorm.

I am so not worried, I told myself. Not worried at all. Ok I am. I am worried. Because Melanie was right. James does tell Black everything. Oh, fuck.

Next journal entry

Damn Melanie. Damn James and damn Black. Damn them ALL to HELL! She did find out what was going on. Now I'm getting the pity treatment. I do not want the pity. I'd rather her just beat the shit out of Potter. Oops. I don't think I should have written that. Oh well. I hope she gives him a black eye and purple nuts.

Great Hall

Sure enough when I walked into the Great Hall, I saw Melanie beating the shit out of James. When I looked to the left of them, I saw Black nearly pissing himself in laughter, Remus calmly eating his kippers as if his friend wasn't getting beat up by a girl, and that Peter boy was trying not to laugh.

"Mel stop beating up Potter. McGoogles is going to coming in soon and he's not worth a detention."

She looked at me as if I was crazy, but she stopped. "Are you ok, Lily?" She asked me.

I glared at her. "Yes, Mel I am just peachy. But by the looks of Potter," I nodded my head towards him, "he doesn't look like he's faring to well. So now why don't you apologise to him and then walk him up the Hospital Wing."

"Ma'am yes ma'am." Melanie saluted me and then marched over to James.

"I commend you Evans. That was a job well done." Black said to me as I sat down next to him.

God, that boy is full of bullshit. "Why did you tell Melanie what was going on between me and James?"

He looked at me as if I was crazy. "Hello this is Lorre we're talking about. You know the one that's a beater on the House team. She threatened to beat me up if I didn't tell her."

"Is ickle bitty Black scared of a girl?" I taunted while spreading peach marmalade onto my toast.

"Hell yeah." He responded his face remaining blank. That was the end of our conversation because just then the bell rang and it was time to start my day from hell.

Journal Entry

He didn't look at me or talk to me all day. It's been one of the loneliest days of my life. Sure, I had Melanie and the girls in my year but talking to them isn't the same as talking to James. I feel like I'm going to cry. And I have no idea why. I wish I had someone to talk to about this. Melanie wouldn't understand. Neither will anyone else. I wish I knew what to do. I wish that life wasn't so hard.

Astronomy Tower around Midnight James' P.O.V

"Hey 'Lils." I whispered to her. She jumped a bit at the sound of my voice but turned around.

"Oh, hi James." She murmured.

I sat down beside her, "What's up?"

"Well the obvious answer to that would be the sky." She responded in her usual sarcastic manner.

"Little Miss Sarcasm strikes again I see."

She glared, "I am not little James."

"You'll always be little to me." I taunted.

"Oh yes, make fun of the vertically challenged girl." She replied sardonically.

I had a response ready but for some reason when I opened my mouth to say it no words came out. It could've been how beautiful Lily looked sitting there twiddling her thumbs with her hair mussed up and her eyes red from I guessed was her crying. Without my response, we slid into an awkward silence. I sat there most likely looking like an idiot as I stared down at my hands for what seemed like forever.

"G'Night James." Lily said to as she walked down the trap door and into the empty corridor. She left me staring after her wondering about those unsaid words.

Journal Entry

It's been a month since what I've dubbed the incident. Awkward silences have become an hourly occurrence. Every once in awhile I spot James glancing at me with a wistful look in his eyes. Those glances gave me hope. Then the hopes are squashed when we yet again sink into a silence. However, this alone time has given me time to think about my real feelings for James Potter. And my conclusion is that I love him. I've fallen in love with James Potter. Merlin help me.

Next day Lily's POV

Sirius bounded into the Common Room his eyes scanning the room, "Ah, Lilly-Billy I've found you. Our dearest Jamie-Poo is waiting for you outside."

"Black it's raining." I stated rather dumbly.

He gave me look, "Wow! Is that what that stuff falling from the sky is?"

Not having the energy to dignify that with a response I pushed past him and out portrait hole. I quickened my pace wanting to get outside to James before the weather got to dangerous. With my faster than normal pace I managed to reach the front doors in five minutes. Pushing the heavy oak doors open, I scanned the grounds for the Head Boy. Sure enough, he was standing by the big tree that stood next to the lake.

I pulled my sweater tighter around my body trying to block out the wind as I ran through the mud to James.

"James. James what are you doing out here?" I called to him, as I got closer.

He turned around and stared at me, "I didn't think you'd actually come out here."

"You nob I came out here to drag your arse inside."

"I need to show you something." He said as he stepped away from the tree.

"What am I looking for?" I asked looking around quizzically.

He merely pointed to a spot on the tree. Leaning in closer I noticed the words "L+J forever" etched into the bark.

"Who wrote that?"

"I did." He said. Then he kissed me. It was just a simple chaste kiss but I felt my knees buckle and my tummy filled with butterflies.

"You taste like strawberries." He murmured into my neck.

"You taste like bacon." I quipped before kissing him again.

Hey chickens. Hope you liked. Even if you didn't review anyway. They are like crack. :D