Bags in tow, Pink got off of the Greyhound bus from the airport right in front of a bunch of restaurants. She had big plans...she was there to meet her best friend, Cai, that she'd known online for 7 years. What did they plan to do?
Write MOUNTAINS of slash fiction...and maybe eat some pizza and watch their favorite TV shows.
But that fanfiction one is the MOST important.
"...P-Pink?"
As Pink looked to where the voice from, there Cai was...standing right in front of her, mouth wide open.
"CAI!"
Pink grabbed her into the biggest hug in the universe, them both sqeeing loudly as they enjoyed the embrace. Finally, after a few minutes they let go of each other.
"There is...like...SO MUCH to say!" Pink said.
"Yes! I've got so much to tell you!" Cai replied.
"Let's talk over lunch...I was STARVING the whole flight!"
"Sure. Uh..." Cai looked in the shopping plaza and pointed to a Waffle House. "How about there? They've got pretty much everything."
"Sounds good!"
As they opened the door, an older lady with red curly hair rushes out.
"What a creep!" She looked at the two girls. "You don't wanna go in there...there's some old man with crazy hair and a lab coat trying to experiment on people!"
As the lady gets in her car and drives away, Pink and Kay shrugged and walked inside.
SKREE!
A man suddenly walks by, looking at the two girls.
"Hey excuse me, do I look alright?"
"Yeah sure..."
"Okay great!"
Pink was trying to find a seat when Kay nudged her.
"Hey Pink...look!"
As they looked on at the man, there was...a dog tail sticking out of him.
"Let's uh...let's sit down and forgot we saw that." Pink suggested.
"Good idea."
As they sat down and ordered their food, they talked about all kinds of things. After a while, they still noticed a whole bunch of weird crap still occuring and Cai addressed the elephant in the room.
"Remember we walked in and that lady was mentioning a guy with a lab coat and crazy hair?"
"Yeah?"
"D-does that sound like someone we know..or know of?"
"Uhh..." Pink thought and thought. "Bill Nye the Science Guy?"
"No, not quite."
"Hmm...let's go take a look."
The girls got up after paying for their food and walked over to the room where the "test subjects" were coming out and...
"Oh.."
"My..."
"GOD."
There he was...the man with the crazy hair and a lab coat.
"Is that...?" Cai stammered.
"THAT'S RICK F**KING SANCHEZ!" Pink fan-girled.
After that outburst, the man, Rick, looked up from his table at the two and frowned.
"Well...someone's got a god d*** F*BURP* potty mouth. Man I hate this f****** generation, always cursin' and s***-"
"HOLY S***!" Cai screamed.
"That makes two I guess?"
"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh-" They both stood in front of his table, drooling.
"Damn, would you *BURP* pipe down? Jeez, I'm trying to work. I-I-It's not easy doing my work from this hole-in-the-wall piece of sh** hellhole but my work from home thing isn't working right now."
"That sucks." Cai replied.
"That's bull****." Pink retorted.
"Wow...you know something?" Rick said. "You girls and your rotten mouths are in NO WAY a good influence for my grandson...now get the **** outta here."
"Sorry Rick, I'm back."
Suddenly, a boy with brown hair and a yellow shirt sits back down at the booth with Rick.
"OHMYGOSH." The two girls fangirled again.
"Where the f*** were you for two *BURP* hours, Morty? Y-Y-you know you could've gotten abducted by a gun-wielding green being and your mom would've *BURP*ed my ass up. Real sh**, Morty. Not something I really w-wanna deal with right now and-"
"Jeez! My bad, Rick...I-I was jerking off to this porn video...the chick looked just like Jessica!"
"Uh-huh...T.M.I. infinity, ya f***head. Plus, you're talking about genital mutilation and we've got female company for the moment."
Morty looked up and noticed the girls, then blushed, nervously smiling. "Oh...h-hi there. Heh. Sorry...I wouldn't have said I-I-I you know, do things to myself...not that I DO any of it but-"
"It's cool..." Cai interrupted.
"Yeah, we understand. I'm Pink, and this is Cai."
"I'm Morty!"
"Yeah yeah yeah, f****** pleasantries.." Rick interrupted. "Anyway, is there anything I can help you girls with, o-o-or do I need to teach you a lesson on how to control your big potty mouths o-or what?"
"We're so sorry, Rick. We're acting like this because...well.." Pink explained it to them slowly. "We know you from somewhere."
"Wait, w-what?" Morty stammered. "You girls know me already?"
"Well yeah." Cai replied. "You guys have your own TV show."
"Bull****, you f****** lying bitches."
"Rick, c'mon!" Morty interjected.
"I'm a private man." Rick said. "T-t-there's no way a bunch of random chicks know me from anywhere."
"Oh yeah? Eat your words." Cai argued, showing them a video of the two in their own show.
"What the...?" Rick said, flabbergasted. "Where...what...which dimmension is this?"
"Uh...Dimmension 4-123?" Cai said.
"Damn." Rick replied. "That's some good ****. Capitalism at it's *BURP* finest. I figured alternate versions of ourselves would smarten up, Morty. O-our trademark sayings are all over the internet a-and now I bet people are selling shirts and s*** with our faces on it."
The girls chuckled.
"Yeah, that's pretty much how it is." Cai replied.
"Adolescent adults love your show." Pink agreed. "It's a huge success...I don't see why you don't know about this whole thing already."
"Hey...t-t-that's pretty neat." Morty replied. "I bet we can get tons of groupies now, Rick! T-tons of chicks begging for us to like...you know..sign autographs and stuff, and topless selfies! Plus...we'd get tons of royalties and we'd never h-have to work!"
"No, you idiot! That's *BURP* not good!" Rick stood up, banging down on the table. "This is a complete f***** mess!"
"But you just said that was good s***." Pink replied.
"Yeah, smartass, good as in "smart"." Rick replied snarkily. "D-do you f****** understand what happens to people with shows that over-advertise with merchandise? Once they hit their climax in popularity, they go to war with demon spawns and eventually turn into demons themselves, thus their show ending after several seasons of s*** episodes and BOOM! Their legacy burnt to a crisp."
"...Okay, how much have you had to drink today?" Cai asks.
"Every alcoholic drink in the universe!" Morty joked.
"I'm telling the truth! I may be mad and wacky, but I'm not a *BURP* liar!"
"Well, WE don't believe you." Pink replied.
"Yeah?" Rick replied. "Check THIS s*** out!"
Then, Rick preses a button on his remote, and the four of them ae sent through a time warp...and suddenly, within 4 seconds, they were somewhere...familiar to the girls.
"THE AQUA TEENS HOUSE!"
"Watch out!" Rick replied, pulling the girls behind a bush so they're not caught. "The show Aqua Teen Hunger Force, or whatever the **** it was called when it ended, and its characters are no longer what they seem to be. They act like they haven't changed, but in reality they're pretending so they can rope you in and turn you into slaves for the alien overlords in hell...after using you for their merchandise marketing."
"Wow. That's messed up. I always wondered what the trio would be doing now that they have no show, and we can't see what they do in 11-minute increments anymore." Pink sadly replied.
"This sucks." Cai said. "Pink and I love this show...it's how we met."
Morty looked sadly at the girls, then at Rick. "Wait Rick, w-what if WE end up that way? Cai and Pink said we're as popular as those guys...maybe we're already at our highest point?"
Rick watches his own show from his phone and shakes his head. "Nah, no way. First off, our show's so f***** cool, we won't end up like those douchebags. Second, the Aqua Teens were the first of their kind to experience their demonization from too much marketing."
"Yeah..." Pink asked. "There's a little something called Space Ghost Coast to Coast. They were kinda the first of their kind, airing six years before Aqua Teen would begin."
"No they weren't." Rick replied. "Those f****** don't count because they had a show way back in the 1960s, so t-that s*BURP*t wasn't anything new. Plus, the Aqua Teens f****** themselves when they had their show name changed five thousand times, thus creating more bull**** apocalyptic monsters trying to enslave people like you."
BOOOOOOOM!
"Sorry Carl!" A black sounding voice replied. "I had to test my nuclear bomb on somebody."
Cai and Pink looked at each other, knowingly smiling. "Frylock..."
"You know what, Fryman? It's fine." The bald, fat man named Carl said, slowly walking out from under the pile of rubble. "My house is just gonna reappear at some point anyway."
"Oh s***! Here, take these!" Rick gives the girls futuristic-looking guns. "These are the only things that can kill those f*****s."
"Hold on, Rick." Pink sadly said. "I-I don't know if I can do this."
"What? Why the **** not?"
"I love these guys, and it's hard to actually kill them just like that!" Cai said.
"Didn't you hear anything I f****** said earlier?"Rick angrily replied.
"Yeah, but still.."
"Look, this is no time for a pity-party of emotion. We gotta get ready." Rick said. "I got dibs on that fat bastard."
Carl knocks on the Aqua Teens' door. "Hey, can you guys spare five bucks? I've got a boner the size of Texas and I need some money for . They love it when-AGH!"
"CARL!" The girls quietly yelled as Carl fell to the floor, disappearing forever.
"Hey Rick," Morty asked. "I wonder if this show has tons of villains and side characters that a-are evil as well."
"Oh shit, you're right." Rick pulled out his remote. "Look, I gotta go get the other Ricks so I can kick some Aqua Teen villian ass. All you three gotta do is kill Shake, Meatwad, and Frylock. Once that's done, we can get the f*** outta here."
Then, Rick disappears into a vortex, leaving Morty and the two girls alone.
"Well.." Morty said. "Who's gonna kill who?"
"I don't know." Pink replied. "I just don't know if I can kill any of them, especially Shake."
"Yeah. Same goes for me killing Frylock. I don't even think you can kill Meatwad." Cai said.
Pink sighed. "But Rick knows more than any of us."
"He really does." Morty replied. "He k-kinda just tells it like it is, even though it's stuff we don't wanna hear and-"
"WOW! Look at these hot babes!"
The three look up to see a gigantic white cup with...red eyes?
"S-shake?" The girls stuttered.
Morty somehow recognized the awkwardness of the situation, and decided to go after the, what he thinks, is the easiest target: Meatwad.
"Hey, babes. I got some cameras back at my house...let's shoot a Girls Gone Wild video!"
Holding their guns steady, they look at each other, clueless.
"Want me to kill him?" Cai quietly said.
"I don't know...want me to get Frylock?"
"You can try..."
"I-I just can't believe this is the real Shake, I-"
"You know.." Shake, using his gloved hand, grabs Pink's open hand. "You are the most beautiful creature in the entire universe. I've never seen...a woman so flawless, with curves galore and eyes so brown and glazy! This is so soon...but...would you go out with me and spend the rest of your life in my arms?"
"I.." Pink blushes for a few seconds, but...soon regains herself. "You are NOT the Shake I know."
"Wha-AGH!"
Pink reopens her eyes after shooting one of her childhood heroes, watching him disappear like Carl did.
"I...I did it..h-he's gone."
"What the hell's going on here?"
The girls gasped, and saw the red floating box known as Frylock floating to them.
"F-frylock?" Cai stuttered out.
"How dare you? You killed my best friend! I oughtta shoot you bitches DOWN for doing that S***!"
As Frylock prepares his laser eyes, aiming at Cai, Pink quickly takes action.
"LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE!" She screams as she pushes Cai out of the way, the fast-approaching lasers grazing her arm. "AGH, that HURT!"
"PINK!" Cai stared in agony down at her fallen friend, then gaped at Frylock. "Y-you hurt her.."
"Yeah, so?"
"I-I can't believe this...the REAL Frylock wouldn't have done this over some asshole cup that disrespected him anyway."
Frylock frowned. "Whatchu talking about? He's my bestest friend in the universe! I'd give up a life of science to spend my life with him!"
Cai couldn't believe it. "Now I know for SURE you aren't the Frylock I grew up with." She cocked her gun. "Time to die."
"Wait, what are you.-AGH! NOOOO!"
Cai watched as she shot the floating box down, him slowly falling to the ground and disappearing. She had no time to wallow in grief as she attended to her comrade.
"Pink? Please! Speak to me!"
Pink slowly opened her eyes, looking up. "Y-you actually did it...you killed Frylock."
"Yeah.." Cai responded. "It wasn't so hard knowing that he wasn't the REAL one and all...are you alright?"
"Yeah I think so.." Pink checked out her arm. "Luckily he only grazed it. I should be fine."
"Good," Cai said. "Wait, where's Morty?"
"Hey guys.." Morty came back, wearing a...meat suit? "Did you get those other guys?"
"Sure did." Pink replied.
"Uh...what the hell are you wearing?" Cai asked.
Morty blushed. "Oh, I uh...I went after that Meatwad guy, and killed him. He started throwing "Your mom" jokes at me and..well, that was TOO much for me. So I'm wearing his skin."
"Wait..I didn't even know Meatwad could be killed." Pink said.
"I'm sure if I take him back with me and feed him to my dog, and he poops him out, h-he'll definitely die. N-no worries."
Within the nick of time, Rick appears, seeming to know the job was done as he nodded his head.
"Good job, morons. Y-you *BURP*in' did it. Now that me and the Ricks have taken out those dumbass Aqua Teen villains, can we go now?"
Pink and Cai nodded.
"I think t-that's enough craziness for one day, Rick."
"Is it crazier then...say...your DAD? Wub-a-lub-dub dub, motherf******!"
Morty sighed. "Same old Rick."
The girls chuckled.
Soon, the four got into Rick's ship and left the Aqua Teen dimmension.
"I still can't believe I killed Shake." Pink said.
"And Frylock.." Cai replied.
Rick groaned. "Look, I know it was hard and s*** killing your childhood heroes, but...hear me out. When a show ends, it's not the real life characters living out their retirements that matter, it's the memories of the show that stay alive in your minds."
"Yeah, like when our show ends.." Morty said.
"Which it f***** won't...but if it DID, it's not us ourselves that make it special, it's the idea. Plus, you still got the merchandise and Blu-Ray discs to enjoy. Like...like when those cray-cray dingdongs went to the moon for the first time, t-they probably got all said that they couldn't bring the whole moon, instead they settled for pictures and moon rock samples."
"T-that actually makes a whole lot of sense." Pink said.
"Too much sense.."
"Yeah, that's why I'm f**** awesome, bitches."
They sat in silence for a second, then Rick grinned at them all.
"You know what? I will say this, atleast our show doesn't end on an awkward note, like whe-"
D-D-D-DANCING IS FORBIDDEN!
*Rick and Morty end music plays*
