AN – My holiday free time led me to this! All mistakes are mine as there is no beta. Feel free to step up and take the job, I would love some help. I'm a college student with free time and a love for writing and JE books! 3 (Keep in mind I am an AgBusiness major, not an English student, so my grammer sucks!)
Disclaimer – Everything you recognize belongs to the brilliant mind of Janet Evanovich
Acts of Valor
I sat down on the side walk next to the burning hunk of twisted metal that was my latest POS car. For the third time in as many months I felt the heat from the scorching metal pulsing against my skin through the fabric of my shirt. My clothes were torn my face and any other exposed body part was covered in grime and soot and to top it all off I had lost my 243rd pair of handcuffs.
My name is Stephanie Plum and I am a bounty hunter for my weasel of a cousin Vinny. I live in an average apartment in an average part of Trenton. I am currently on the outs with my on and off boyfriend Joe Morelli, who has the best ass in Trenton and is known as Officer Hottie if you talk to my best friend Lula. Nevertheless, there is Ranger, security extraordinaire, Cuban sex god, my one time lover, my mentor and my best friend (if you could call it that).
As I sat there thinking about what could have happened had I been in the car and how Joe was going to yell, Carl and Big Dog would laugh at my expense and Ranger . . . Well for the first time in my life I didn't know what Ranger would say. He might slide his patented blank face into place and say "Babe". He might also quirk his left eyebrow and try not to laugh.
The stupid thing was no matter how hard I tried to focus, something Lester said to me when we were talking about intimidation kept replaying in my head over and over again. I had asked him, one day while we were eating pizza after a take down at Shorty's how he kept his calm before he went on a takedown or a mission. He looked at me popped his trademark smile and repeated for me three times.
Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil;
For I am the BIGGEST, BADDEST, MOTHER FUCKER in the valley.
But I was not big bad wolf like Lester, Ranger Tank or any of the other Merry Men and the brave and honorable men who serve our county are. Hell I am more like the little timid mouse running from shadow to shadow trying to avoid detection. I can't stand up for myself, I can't defend myself from my mother's constant scrutiny and I certainly can't protect myself. As much as I tell myself that I can provide for myself, protect myself or defend myself. Sitting here on the cold sidewalk with the sirens growing ever louder as they approached, I realized. If I didn't shape up right here right now I never would.
It was if I had been hit in the forehead with a two by four. Holy Shit, I had ever resource available to me to become a better Bond Enforcement Agent (who I am kidding that sounds way to professional), bounty hunter, a better person, a better fighter. Shit I had a whole building full of guys who spent over 6 years of their life doing shit harder than this for a living. I had access . . .
My train of thought was interrupted when I lost my view of the street and was treated to an eyeful of worn out boots covered in blue jeans that were starting to fray at the edges. 'Well Fuck'
"Care to explain Cupcake?" Joe spat out at me.
"No not really Joe." And in all honesty I didn't want to tell anyone what had happened today. I have the biggest streak of bad luck on cars. I swear some Old Cajun Witch Doctor put some Voo Doo curse on me or something. I didn't want anyone to know how stupid this time had been. But there was a small niggling in the back of my mind "You'll tell Ranger though, and the Merry Men. Don't forget Lester, you will definitely tell Les."
'Shut up, you are not wanted' Oh so I can stand up to the voice in my head but not to anyone else in my life. Wait Lester, when the hell did Lester get into this?
Before I could figure that out Joe started in on his fabled Italian temper tantrum "Stephanie Plum, who did you piss off this time. Are you really so stupid you would piss someone off enough to make them blow up your car. You are a shitty bounty hunter anyways, why don't you just up and quit. Hell you're too insufficient to do your job properly anyways, let alone be classified as a real BEA. Damnit Steph why can't you see that and just give up already? I let you have your fun and I put up with it for a while but in the end you're gonna come home with me and give up the preconceived notions you have about keeping your job. Hell with my new salary you won't even need a job beyond staying home and taking care of my kids." Joe was flailing his arms around and his face was an ungodly shade of red. By this time all the emergency vehicles were here, I spotted Carl and Big Dog exchanging money again, and on the fringe I noticed two RangeMan SUV's and Ranger's new Audi R8, black of course.
Joe was still ranting when I refocused. "Stephanie you are my woman, I had you first and I will have you last. You are mine, now you come home with me and we are going to straighten this shit out right now. There will be no more embarrassing me in front of the entire neighborhood, you are going to marry me and have my children and you will be happy about it." He reached down and forcefully grabbed my arm and jerked me off the ground and towards his truck. Joe had lost his top, I needed to get out before I got in too far and I couldn't get back out. I needed to get away fast. Ranger, I needed Ranger and his Merry Men. Joe had let his grasp loosen because I had been following him without a fight, he thought he had won.
I turned to look at Ranger his face a mask of pure rage and hatred, at what I didn't know. His eyes connected with mine and I mouthed "HELP ME!" In those brief 2 seconds Lester opened the passenger side of Ranger's Audi, Ranger got behind the wheel and started the 8 cylinder performance engine and Bobby and Tank started walking towards Joe and I.
My worst nightmare had come to life. I had released the Morelli Family curse in Joe. I had finally pushed him too far. Ranger was who I needed to get me out of this, Ranger, Lester Tank and Bobby would see me through this I know they would. They would see me through anything. Tank and Bobby were within 25 feet of us now and I knew my time was up three more steps and Joe would put me in his truck and drive me away forever. I couldn't let him put me in that truck I had to get loose. My thoughts took me only a second to process, I took one last look at Joe and saw his mask of pure and unadultered rage and it was directed at me. It scared the shit out of me. That was all it took. I planted my right foot and jerked my arm away while I was pushing off.
I had done sprinting in high school. I was not a star athlete by any means but it would be enough to push me through the 25 feet to Tank and bobby before Joe got to me. From there I would be home free, Tank and Bobby would form a wall to stop Joe and ensure that I got to Ranger successfully. I was running my feet pounding the asphalt between me and Ranger. I blew past Tank and Bobby without a pause I was flying.
I was never this fast in high school. I was never this fast EVER. I could vaguely here Joe yelling in the background as I pounder farther away from the chaos. My breath was coming in short gasps and the pain in my side was getting sharper. The muscles in my legs and hips were starting to burn. The Audi was within my reach when two strong arms wrapped around my torso and picked me off the ground.
I was jerked around my ribs. The first thought running through my head was that Tank and Bobby had failed. So I started throwing what little weight I had around. Kicking and screaming, flailing my arms and legs about. Until I heard "Beautiful" loud and clear in my ear. It was Lester, he had picked me up and was now shoving me into the Audi with what seemed like practiced precision. He placed a feather light kiss on my forehead, followed by a slamming door and the sound of Ranger laying down rubber on the asphalt as the performance hemi raced to put distance between us and the scene of the crime.
I broke down as soon as the distinct smell of pristine and custom leather interior mixed with a scent that was strangely not Ranger, but Lester. The unmistakable smell of expensive Jag; Ladies Man . The smell triggered my tears and the sobs and I broke down into a jagged crying spell that left me breathless with mascara running down my face in what was sure to be a wave of black, my nose was probably red and runny and I couldn't control my tear ducts. Ranger had put his hand on my thigh and was offering me what was supposed to be a subtle comforting gesture. He was rubbing his thumb in small circles on my thigh and gave me a light squeeze ever now and then to let me know that he was there for me. But I didn't want it, I wanted it to be Lester in the seat next to me. This was his car after all, he should be the one driving it.
When I had calmed myself down, I noticed we were headed out of Trenton, I also had a chance to look at the speedometer . . . That was a bad idea. Ranger was driving way WAY too fast. I was surprised the needle wasn't in the red. Hell who was I kidding this was an Audi there was no red. I thought back to the way Bobby talked about this car. I vaguely remembered that Lester had bought one. The new 2013 Audi R8 barely off the market. Its 4.2 liter V8 engine had 420 horses under the hood, okay not even under the hood he said as he remembered. The engine sat behind the passenger and driver seat, mid-ship Bobby called it. I loved the interior of this car, all black leather seats that were buttery soft. The black and silver dash and side panels were top of the line and made the high tech dash board look like a luxury space ship or something. There was more buttons on this dashboard than the control room at RangeMan. The things that I recognized were Bluetooth, GPS, the radio and CD player, that was about it. Oh and the temperature controls. But there were still dozens of additional buttons that I didn't recognize.
Like Rangers dozens of other vehicles I had no doubt that this one was outfitted the same way, no spare tire, but the compartment under the trunk help what was sure to be enough weapons to invade a small country. There was also the gun safe under his driver seat that probably held at least 2 guns. Not to mention the various knifes he had stowed around the vehicle.
Ranger has turned on the radio at some point during our trip and now soft jazz was coming out of the speakers. This was for my benefit as I never knew Ranger to come out of his 'zone'. I turned to him and said "Thank you." He didn't even turn to me he just nodded his head. I was comfortable with his silence. I turned back to the window and watched the road flash by at high speed. I felt my head roll back and I knew no more.
I woke to someone shaking me lightly. My brain instantly thought Joe, and I started to fight knowing that I would awake to the worst torture of my life, being forced to be his wife and the mother to his children. What would Ranger think, what would the Merry Men think, Lester, Bobby, Tank, Hal, Cal, Binkie, Ram and Vince and Hector. I would never be able to see them again. So I fought harder I swung my arms and twisted. 2 big arms came around me, and a voice registered in my ear, it was speaking Spanish. It was Ranger. I stopped fighting and held onto him as tight as I could.
"Babe your safe now, he won't ever hurt you again."
I knew in my heart that Ranger would protect me like no other man could. He would keep me safe. But for the first time in my life, I didn't feel at home in his arms, I was safe but not happy or at home. I put that thought to the back of my mind.
"Ranger, where are we?" I looked around and we were in the driveway to a very large house, an extremely nice very large house.
I looked back to Ranger and he rubbed the back of his neck, a movement I had seen him do only a few times. His nervous or embarrassed movement. "We are at Lester's house Babe."
Woah woah woah, my proverbial bachelor had a house? I always figured him for a penthouse pad type of guy. He must have meant a safehouse. But this time I couldn't care less about the fact that Ranger was locking me up in a safe house with a billion and one cameras and mics placed within the house and surrounding woods. This time I wanted it, Joe had snapped and he would do anything he could to try and get me back. Listening to Ranger and being in my guys care would help me.
Ranger sat back on his heels outside the Audi, bringing us eye to eye. "Babe, I knew you wouldn't want a safe house, so I brought you here. Lester designed it safer than any safe house I have and more comfortable to. Fewer cameras and more outside security measures." I knew every word he said would be true, all I could do was throw my arms around him. My throat was thick with emotion and I was fighting tears again. Ranger had finally listened to me, he wasn't locking me in a safe house where every guy at RangeMan could moniter my actions. No, instead he took me to a house where he knew I would be more comfortable and safe. Ranger had stood up by this time and held me in his arms, close to his chest. Even though I knew he didn't mean anything by it, I still didn't like it. I wanted Lester. I wanted the man that kept me safe when Ranger was away, the one that held me through the death of my hamster Rex and the one who knew my every food desire. That 6'4'' lanky frame that I seemed the fit into like a perfect puzzle piece, that sinewy muscled chest that would make any man jealous, the same chest I had fallen asleep on many times.
Rangers POV
Sitting at my dark mahogany desk, my fingers tapping away at my new laptop there was a rat-tat at the door. I sat back and crossed my thick arms across my even thicker chest. "Enter" my usual greeting short sweet and to the point, no sense wasting words on formalities. The door swung open revealing my cousin and infamous ladies man. Lester Santos. "Santos" again the one word told him all he needed to know. Since we served together in the ARMY and in the Rangers we hardly used words to understand each other. A trait Stephanie hated about us, she called it ESP but in reality it was all about reading people not about a supernatural trait. However, out of every man in my office, Santos spoke the most.
"We have a meeting in 10 minutes. Do you need the Bomber Report today or do you want it at the end of the week?"
Uggg that stupid report was going to be the death of me. "End of the week" the Bomber Report was a weekly report on Stephanie, how many cars she has had blown to bits, her skip count, fire bombs, anything out of the ordinary or on a need to know basis was in that report. I looked back to Lester, who had propped his feet up on the other end of the couch. I don't remember asking him to sit down, let alone saying 'oh hey Les go ahead and kick your feet up and stay awhile'. But alas he is my cousin and I let him get away with more than anyone else. I could tell he planned to say something just by the look on his face.
"You know cuz you really need to get your big fat head out of your super tight ass and talk to her. Every man in this office is in love with her but she only has eyes for you. Do you have any idea how much I would give so that she would look at me like that? I swear man, if you don't get off your ass I am gonna start moving in." I could feel the growl start to grow in my chest throughout his speech, my hands were fisted so hard my knuckles were white. By the time he had finished I was debating on what size box to choose so I could send him to Saudi Arabia or down to the damn jungles of Colombia. The middle of the Sahara might do just nicely.
I let my blank face slid off and release a look of pure confusion towards him. "I just don't know any more man. She doesn't act towards me like she used to. She acts like she doesn't want to be in my arms, and when I told her we were at your house she got this look of pure joy that I can't seem to put on her face anymore."
Emotions flew across my cousins face so fast I couldn't read them before he slammed his blank face in place and looked me in the eyes. "I don't know cuz, we have been spending time together but not like that. I kept her company when her rat died and when you have been off playing the war hero. But it has always been in the friendship category. All the guys have done the same. You really need to talk to her about this."
With that he got up and walked out my door, yelling over his shoulder "5 minutes conference room B!"