Disclaimer: I am not a brilliant author, or blond British woman, or rich, so therefore I am NOT J. K. Rowling. Every time I write this it totally fails me why I need to do this, because if I was really J.K. Rowling do you think I would be writing this, on this website? No. However, I may be J. K. Roiling, as the spell-checker seems to think it should be spelled.
A/N: Please no flames, this seemed like a brilliant idea when I wrote this at 2:00 this morning. Not such a good idea now, but I'm still posting this. Rated T because I have no f***ing idea how the ratings work.
My name is Crookshanks. Crookshanks the cat, and I'm here to tell you my story.
When I was very young, I was taken away from my mother by a great, terrible hand. The hand reached in and pulled me out of the basket, away from my mother and siblings. I mewed in fright, and scratched at it. The hand smelled of dog and rat, and all kinds of animals that I didn't know and didn't trust.
My siblings followed shortly afterwards, and we were all unceremoniously dumped into a wire cage. The hand pulled out a long, thin piece of wood and tapped the bars of the cage with it, muttering a mysterious work under their breath. Whatever it was, it meant we couldn't get out. We were then tied the end of a broomstick along with a host of other animals and lifted through the air.
There were rats, snakes, owls, toads and several were rare magical creatures I could not identify. Of the ordinary pets, some were magical like me, and some were not. The owls each had individual cages and preened themselves constantly. They hooted and trilled in lofty voices about the state of their feathers, and how the humidity had affected them. Show-offs.
The rats and toads chattered excitedly, wondering about who would buy them. If you're lucky, nobody, I thought sourly. So far, I had had two experiences with people, one in which I was taken from my mother and one in which I was dumped into a cage. And they had pulled my fur all the wrong way too. The rats and toads had now entered into a load verbal debate, while avoiding speaking to each other, each talking in louder and louder voices about how unfashionable as a pet the other was. Idiots, I thought shaking my head; couldn't they see that each side was right? No wizard would buy them when I was around, with my magnificent orange fur.
The snakes were a more mysterious bunch. They hissed and slithered, crooning in their Parseltongue. I couldn't understand it, but I could feel the dark magic behind it. It made me shiver. Most magical creatures could understand each other, although they had very different voices. But not snakes. They had to be different. I watched, fascinated and terrified, as they swayed mesmerizingly and sang softly to the rats, enticing them closer. I don't care much for rats, but the poor creatures were practically throwing themselves against the cage walls that separated them. I knew then not to trust a serpent.
I whispered to my sister, "What's happening?"
"I don't know."
Nobody talked much after that.
When we arrived my brothers and sister were lifted helplessly out of the cage and into a larger area. I was to be last. I watched them go, and felt a surge of anger and mistrust. These humans had taken me away from my mother and put me in a cage. Who knew what they would do next? When it came time for me to be grabbed, I yowled and shot straight out. I knocked over the snake cage, causing shouts of alarm from the humans, and shot through the door into the main shop area. I saw a large feathery hat on a woman's head. It looked expensive. Delighted, I made straight for it, claws unsheathed. I wouldn't just be forced into subservience!
There was a screech as I flew at it and heard the satisfying sound of silk ripping. The shop owner rushed out the door of the small room at the back, dishevelled and snake-bitten, to the lovely sight of me attacking the hat. "NO! Bad cat!" he yelled, and ran at me, intending to pull me off. I lazily jumped off, onto the shelf full of owl cages. He changed direction, then tried to turn back again, but it was too late. The enormous shelf teetered slowly, slowly, rocking on its base. Several owls hooted in alarm . . .
CRASH!
The whole thing smashed to the ground. Feathers, metal and wood flew all around. Owls scattered everywhere in panic. The man was furious.
I sauntered up to the highest shelf to watch the scene unfolding beneath me. The man shook his fist at me, the lady fled in terror, and the owls and the snakes started a verbal war about hunting techniques. Aah. The humans may have turned against me, but there would never be a relaxed moment in this shop while I was around!
A/N: I know this is short, and I will try to make it more interesting if I do another chapter. I thought maybe the next chapter could be about his life in the shop, and him trying to escape. Then the next chapter could be about when he attacks Scabbers/Pettigrew and when he meets Hermione. After that, I figured it could be about Crookshanks earning a place in the Hogwarts cat hierarchy, and him discovering Sirius and what Scabbers really is. Please review, and no flames!