Just a Dream
A/N:I know, I never finish any stories. I think I may just continue with one-shots like this one. It came to me the other day so I went with it, enjoy!
August 20, 1918- I walk into the church, escorted by my father: Charlie Swan. Everyone turns to look at us, every person I know, but they cannot see my face behind the veil. I am looking toward my Edward, who is just a short walk down the aisle. I think back, to how I got here to the church….
March 2, 1917-
My name is Bella; I'm eighteen and I live in Chicago, Illinois with my father Charles Swan. He is the Chief of Police, it's an extremely important job that puts him and constant danger and makes him extremely protective of me, his only child. My mother died when I was only 8 from Tuberculosis so it only adds to Charlie's protectiveness.
I'm a good daughter. I study hard for school and run our household for Charlie. He expects me to attend college once I am out of school and hopefully get married. I often help at the nearby orphanage by helping the children learn to read and write. I am considering becoming a teacher one day because I enjoy helping them so much.
One night I attended a party that my friend, Lillian Greenling, hosted. I wore a blue dress with silver embroidery; father told me I looked beautiful as he told me goodbye. He only allowed me to go because my best friend, Jacob Black, escorted me. Jacob's father, Billy, was Charlie's partner for ten years in the police department, until Billy was shot by a runaway thief and lost his leg. Jacob was a year younger than me but he was so kind and caring. He was like the brother I never had. He met me at the front door and we walked to Lillian's home, discussing who would be there and what we looked forward to. If only I knew how much that party would mean to me later.
The Cullens had just moved from Boston a week before but everyone knew about them. They were extremely wealthy, Rockefeller wealthy, but also very charitable with their money. Mr. Cullen inherited millions but chose to become a doctor because he loved helping people. He opened a hospital in Boston that serviced many people and was looking to open another in Chicago. His wife, Mrs. Cullen, was an avid Women's Rights supporter as well as the founder of a Boston orphanage. They had three children: Emmett, Edward, and Alice. Emmett was 23 and married to the gorgeous and rich Rosalie Hale. Edward was 21 and Alice 17, both still lived with their parents but Edward was supposed to be entering medical school soon.
When Lillian introduced me to Alice at the party, I was surprised by how forward she was with me. She acted as though we were lifetime friends in the first two minutes of our acquaintance. Edward was entirely different. He was tall with auburn hair and shocking green eyes. He wore a black suit with a dark green vest and cravat that made his eyes stand out all the more. Edward sat next to me and conversed while Jacob and Alice were dancing with others. He told me of Boston and his hopes of becoming a doctor and asked about my life and dreams as well. I think I was already in love by the time he asked me to dance but the dance confirmed my affections. He was a natural: an excellent dance partner, not to mention the fact that I could not look away from his eyes.
On the walk home, my head was in the clouds. Jacob listened while I spoke wonders of Edward and I listened as he told me of his dances with his sweetheart of the week. He was grateful that I met a boy who seemed worthy of my affection and told me he would put in his vote with my father if need be. When he left me at the door, he hugged me and jokingly wished me a happy life with 'my Edward'.
Two days later, Charlie and I were invited for dinner at the Cullens and a week after that, Edward asked Charlie if he could court me. Charlie, after much debating, said yes, partially because you cannot refuse a Cullen anything.
Edward and I were inseparable. We went to every party, dinner, and picnic together. He came with me to the orphanage and I went with him to his father's clinic. We were so in love, nothing could have stopped us. I also became good friends with Alice, because I spent so much time at her house. She was an exciting person, very kind but extremely vivacious. I could hardly keep up with her. She always seemed to be shopping for the latest fashion trends not only for herself but for her entire family. Alice bought everyone's clothes for them and they always looked perfect. I caught her trying to buy me expensive dresses but I wouldn't allow it. I insisted that my clothes were perfectly fine and I did not need more. She did not give up until Edward intervened for me.
After Edward and I had been courting for 2 months, Edward took me on a walk to a nearby park. We walked for awhile, arm in arm, not talking but simply enjoying the day and each other's company. Edward looked at me, smiling, and asked, "What are you thinking of, my love?"
I smiled back, "I'm thinking of how beautiful it is today and how I want to spend the whole day with you, outside".
"Just the day?" he asked skeptically.
"Oh, well I suppose not. I could spend forever with you out here." I couldn't stop smiling at the thought of forever with Edward, my lovely Edward.
"What about just forever with me?" he asked slyly. I hoped dearly he meant what I thought.
"What are you talking about, Edward?" he stopped and took both of my hands in his.
"Bella, I love you dearly. You are a shooting star that shot across my dark sky. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I can give you a comfortable life, home, and plenty of wealth, but mostly a loving heart that is entirely yours. You own my heart Bella. Will you marry me?" he pulled a velvet box out of his jacket pocket and inside was a diamond ring. It was an enormous diamond that was cut perfectly, but I could hardly appreciate the beauty because my eyes were filled with tears of joy.
"Nothing could make me happier than to marry you, Edward. I love you." I barely got out these words before he kissed me softly and slipped the ring onto my finger.
"I cannot wait to spend forever with you" he whispered in my ear.
"Forever sounds perfect" I told him.
May 18, 1917-
We were planning our wedding when we got the news. The U.S. had declared war on Germany a month ago but Congress had just passed the Selective Service Act. Edward and every other man between 21 and 30 years old had to register for the draft. Edward dutifully showed up at the offices the next day for his draft card and was drafted in August. Apparently he was in perfect shape to be a soldier.
He and I spent a week crying and just being together before he went off to basic training at Camp Grant. I was so scared, even in a war like this one that was supposed to end quickly, people died. And I could not lose Edward, the one whom I had just barely gained. The night before he left, we went back to our park. We sat on a park bench for hours, not talking, just sitting there in each other's arms. I had a constant stream of tears running down my face. Finally I looked up at him, "Edward?"
"Yes my love?" he said, there was a lump in his throat too.
"You have to come back to me." I said fiercely
"I will, Bella. The war will be over before you know it and I'll be back. We'll get married and have a houseful of children who will look just like you" he smiled sadly.
"I know I should be glad that you're going off to protect us and serve our country, but I'd much rather you stayed here." I told him truthfully.
"I know what you mean. If I did not have to leave you, I would probably be overjoyed at serving" he replied, looking off into the night, he checked his watch: "It's late; your father will be worried."
I nodded and we reluctantly got up. He leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips.
"I love you Bella, so much"
"I love you too, Edward"
He kissed me again then held out his arm. We walked slowly back to my house. Back to reality and Charlie: where Victory Gardens and Liberty loans were advertised in every window and radio. On my doorstep, Edward and I kissed for what could have been forever, his soft lips on mine made time fly, but it was not long enough. Too soon he broke away and knocked on the door, shook Charlie's hand in parting and hugged me goodbye, promising to write every day.
I went up to my room and just sat there. I did not cry: I would not let myself cry again. But I sat there, thinking of Edward and how I prayed for him to return.
The next day I decided I wanted to help the cause. I could not just sit at home moping for the entire war. I applied for work in a factory that made uniforms for troops. I sat in a hot room with a hundred other girls, sewing nonstop. I only kept going because I hoped I was sewing Edward's shirt that he would wear in battle. For this reason, I put my heart into every shirt I made, hoping that if not Edward, someone like him would wear it and think of their wife or girlfriend back home.
I got letters from Edward almost every day. They were filled with stories of his training and the friends he made, as well as memories that he had not told me about. I replied to every letter. I told him of the factory and the time I spent with Alice while he was gone.
My favorite letter from Edward was when he had just arrived in France:
My Dearest Bella,
You have no idea how much I miss you, especially now that I am hundreds of miles away. The ship was crowded with other soldiers who are just as scared as I am of fighting in this war. They did not say so, but I could see it in their eyes every time they looked out on the horizon, hoping we would never reach our destination. Landing here in France was spectacular. The French people and soldiers greeted us with thanks for coming to save their country. I was so proud to be here, even though I am not sure I can save anyone.
The day after we landed, I was promoted to Sergeant, so now you'll have to address your letters to Sgt. Edward Cullen. I immediately met up with my commanding officer, Captain Jasper Hale. He is from Austin, Texas and has a strong accent to prove it. He is a fair man who is enjoyable to be around and knows what he is doing. I am not as afraid as long as I am on his side.
He has orders to perform a reconnaissance mission to scout for German troops. We are leaving tomorrow morning but I cannot tell you where we are going. It is our first mission and everyone in our company is on edge.
I love you and think about you every minute.
Love Forever,
Edward.
This was the second to last letter he sent me. It was difficult for the soldiers to get mail out when they were in the trenches but I read the newspapers and saw that we were winning. The Allied troops were fighting Germans near the Marne River and were slowly pushing back the enemy. Edward wrote me his final letter in the trenches of the Marne.
On July 30, 1918, I heard a knock on the door at 10 in the morning. I did not have work that day so I was cleaning upstairs when I heard it. I thought it would be Alice: she often appeared on our doorstep at random times. When I opened the door, Alice was standing there, crying and pale, holding a telegram. My heart sank, 'Please, not Edward God' I silently prayed. But Alice's face confirmed my deepest fear.
"He's gone Bella." She said hollowly. I collapse immediately bursting into tears. A hole was ripped into my chest as though a German had put a bullet into me. I barely heard Alice tell me about Edward's heroic rescue of another soldier that got him shot. The arrangements for the funeral did not register on my shocked and grieving ears. She finally gave up and just held me and we cried together for her brother and my fiancée who we both loved more than anyone in the world. My father was sent for and rushed home immediately to try to comfort me. We all went to the Cullens' mansion and Esme, Edward's mother, cried with me for hours, showing me pictures of him and telling me stories.
When Edward's body arrived from France, his Captain, Jasper Hale accompanied it. His left arm was in a sling from his own bullet wound. He was the one that Edward saved. Captain Hale sat between Esme and me on the Cullen's sofa and told Edward's story. He and Edward had seen an opportunity to capture a German trench and decided to risk their lives to gain an advantage. They ran across to the other trench and jumped in, opening fire on the fifteen German's in the trench. They defeated all of the surrounding Germans and captured the trench when the Germans in another trench began shooting at them. Jasper was hit in the arm and went down in the open field so Edward ran and carried him back to the captured trench. He was shot in the chest four times but managed to save his Captain's life. Jasper told us how incredibly grateful he was for Edward and wanted to help us with the ceremony.
After everyone had questioned and thanked Captain Hale numerous times, he said he should be going and offered to escort me home. I hugged every Cullen member good bye and took Jasper's arm.
After we had walked for a few minutes, Jasper turned to me and with his southern accent said, "Miss Swan"
"Bella, please"
"Edward loved you very much. He told me all about you and his dreams of your future. He was something of a joke in our troop because he was so in love with his girl back home." He smiled down at me. "I just wanted you to know that he was thinking about you all the time over there. Whenever we went on a mission, he would stand next to me and whisper 'for Bella' before he began fighting"
Tears I did not think I still had were streaming down my cheeks. Captain Hale offered me his handkerchief.
"Thank you Captain. That means so much to me" He smiled sorrowfully.
"It's the least I can do for taking him away from you. But I'd like you to know that I have nominated him for the Medal of Honor"
We had reached my door, I thanked him again for escorting me and he promised to see me the next day at the viewing.
August 20, 1918-
Charlie and I walk up the aisle. I step up to the casket and look upon my Edward, the love of my life. I hold his hand for a few seconds and feel a tear slide down my cheek. I think of the life we could have had together, the children we could have loved. Charlie and I take our seat next to Alice in the first row. Jacob comes into the church and sits directly behind me, holding my hand for support. He is always there for me; he is the best friend a person could ask for. My black veil shields my eyes from the curious glances of those who were not as close to Edward. The pastor begins the service but I hardly listen to the speakers, I have heard it all before. I know the person Edward was, they do not. They never received a letter from a brave soldier or kissed him on a park bench. I squeeze Jacob's hand and allow the tears to flow down my cheeks behind the black fabric. I watch the soldiers carry the casket out into the hearse and Jasper helps me into the car. The drive to the graveyard is torturous, even though Charlie and Alice are both next to me.
By the grave, the guns go off. Alice holds one of my hands, Jacob's hand is on my shoulder, and Charlie holds my other hand as I watch Jasper salute my deceased fiancée. The hole in my heart grows as I watch the flag being folded and Jasper hand it to a crying Esme. I cannot hear the rehearsed words he says because the only thing that matters is that Edward is gone, the sound of 'Taps' fills my heart, mind, and soul. My soldier is dead, killed in a terrible war, and I will never see him again. When everyone begins to walk away, I cannot move and Jacob has to say 'Bella, it's time to go, dear' and gently steer my shoulders to get me to the car.
I take a final look at Edward's grave and think to him "Why did you leave me, Edward? I wanted forever: what am I going to do without you?" Then, I let the anger dissolve and whispered, "I love you, Edward" before turning around and getting into the car.
August 1920-
It's been two years since Edward died and so many things have changed. I still live with Charlie, but not for long. He is still fighting crime every day, and worrying about me just as much. I am going to be a teacher soon, for I have almost finished school. I still see the Cullens at least once a month. Carlisle and Esme always invite me to family dinners. They are not maliciously doing so; they explain it as though I am their adopted daughter now. Alice and Jasper got married last year and have a little girl named Clarissa. She is my beautiful, spoiled godchild. Emmett and Rosalie have two children, Emmett Jr. and Marie; they are extremely beautiful, just like their parents and love to spend time with me.
And Jacob: who was my best friend for so long and stood by me during every struggle. We began dating last year after he confessed his love to me in the rain one night. I was reluctant to tell the Cullens at first. I thought they would resent me for moving on only a year later but they were so kind and genuinely happy for me. Alice started planning Jacob and I's wedding the first day she found out, saying she knew we would be together forever.
Jacob was so understanding of my grief for Edward. He did not try to take his place and be like Edward. He allowed me to work through my pain and stood by me the entire time. Jacob is the exact opposite of Edward, in all of the best ways. He blurts out what he is feeling at any given moment, wearing his emotions on his sleeves. He is loud where Edward was quiet and friendly where Edward was polite. I thought I would never love anyone like I loved Edward, which is true. But Jacob has always had his place in my heart: I love him so much, so deeply. He cannot fill Edward's hole, but he makes it hurt less and he fills in his own holes. Jacob is my rock: he keeps me Earthbound when I want to run away from life. He is my warmth and protection. He loves me and I him, which is why I accepted when he proposed. We are getting married next week and I am elated.
Many may look at me and think I am betraying Edward by marrying another, but I do not agree. Edward loved me deeply and we would have been the happiest couple on earth, but he is gone. I have moved on. I love Jacob with my entire being and he and I will be just as happy as Edward and I would have been. Edward would want my happiness, which is what I strive for. I live each day to the fullest, for my Edward, who could not live the long life he deserved. And when I have a son, he will be named Edward Anthony Black, and will life a long life that Edward should have lived. So Edward will live: in the hearts and souls of those who love and remember him. My Edward will live on.