HI, EVERYONE! Thanks for choosing to read my story! NOW, before we begin, there are a couple of things I need to tell y'all.

1) As stated before, I can't write Yaoi. Or Yuri. So there won't be any, sorry. You can (as always) interpret relationships between characters any way you choose, so feel free to pretend (These topics will all be included) Parental!RoyEd, Hughes and Roy Friendshipfluff, Ed and Al Brotherfluff, etc, etc, as Yaoi or whatever.

2) There will be both fics set in the original anime universe (Brotherhood fans don't run away, please!) and Brotherhood (original anime fans don't run away please!)

3) These stories will be set all over the place and in no order or relevance.

4) I WROTE THESE FOR MY AND YOUR ENTERTAINMENT. NO PROFIT WAS MADE. I haven't, don't, and never will own FMA. (If I did, Hughes would still be alive.)

5) I order you to enjoy these stories.

6) This chapter is set during Roy's and Hughes' childhood, and they are at school together.

Clicky Pens

"...and today there'll be a special talk to you kids about Amestrian history, spoken by one of the most renowned voices in this countries politics, Mr H. Kean. Some of his greatest achievements include..."

Roy yawned, blinking slowly in a case of immense boredom. He glanced to his best friend, Maes, who occupied the desk directly to his left.

He too was also experiencing a case of soul-crushing, mind-numbing boredom, and had obviously decided to escape it by falling asleep face-down on his desk, snoring away and failing to notice the drool trailing down his chin onto the table. His glasses lay askew, poking him in the face.

It looked quite uncomfortable, but Maes didn't seem to care.

The teacher blathered on, her monotonous voice drilling into the skulls of about twenty students, making Roy think that maybe it would be a good idea to try creating a gun out of scrap paper, rulers and pencil shavings, load it up with eraser bullets and then shoot himself in the head with it.

"Psst. Maes," Roy hissed. "Maes. Psst. Hey, Maes. Ma-a-es!"

"Bwuh? Whazza...?" Maes' head snapped up, and he blinked blearily around the room. He seemed to realise where he was, and his eyes widened. "I'm up! I'm up! Wasn't asleep! Just resting!"

Half the class began to snicker and Roy struck a well-aimed kick at Maes' ankle. "Shh!"

The laughter raised in volume a little as Maes jumped and his glasses fell to the ground to a clatter. He looked blankly at them for a second before uttering a quiet, "Oh."

He looked about at all the giggling faces and grinned, bluntly stating, "I dropped 'em."

The class stifled their laughter as the teacher shot them all a withering glare. She sent mental daggers flying at Maes' head.

"You've got drool on your face!" hissed Roy, motioning at his lips.

"Whoops, heheh." Maes swiped at his face with his sleeve, still grinning, then picked up his glasses.

Always the centre of attention. Maes Hughes, the class clown. Roy sighed. Are you ever not doing anything stupid?

"Hughes, Mustang! Quiet!" the teacher snapped.

"Yes, miss," Roy and Maes said in unison, and the giggles died down. She continued with her lecture and Maes whispered to Roy, "Ugly says what?"

Roy gave a snort of amusement and placed his chin on his palm, whispering, "Are you bored?"

"No, of course not," came the quiet reply. "This is the most interesting talk I've ever heard in my whole twelve years of living. It's so intriguing, so enlightening, so amazing-"

"What's she talking about, then?"

"No idea."

"Great subject."

"I know. I mean-"

"You two! Silence!"

"Yes, miss."

The guest speaker was introduced, and the pair took part in the exercise of lethargic applause whilst he walked to the front.

He began speaking, and Maes let out a pathetic groan. This man's voice was even more monotonous and droning than the teacher's.

Roy was almost convinced to put into action his plans for the stationary-suicide gun.

Maes sighed and picked up his pen, clicking the nib down. He was about to set it to a piece of scrap paper and begin scribbling up an astoundingly artistic and not particularly flattering depiction of the guest speaker in stick-figure form, when a terrible idea struck him in the form of a metaphorical light bulb and comedic doorbell sound effect.

Roy took one look at the devious grin plastered in his best friend's face and flinched. Maes' glasses shone threateningly and a gleeful spark lit his yellow eyes.

That was not a good sign.

"What're you planning?" Roy muttered under his breath.

Click.

Roy buried his face in his palm, sighing. Now that this weapon of mass annoyance had fallen into Maes' irresponsible hands, there was no telling what kind of trouble Roy would be pulled into.

Clickity-click.

"...this is therefore an important issue in the current state of political unrest..."

Clickity-clickity-click.

"...and so it is my belief that young people should be educated in such affairs..."

Clickity-clickity-clickity-click.

"...this way the next generation of Amestris will always know how to handle these things..."

Clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-click.

"...and consequently..."

Clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-click . Maes had started to laugh, and was desperately trying to remain as silent as he could, apart from the incessant clicking.

"...consequently..."

Clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-click ity-click.

"...consequently..." The guest seemed to be getting distracted by the never-ending clicks.

Clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-click ity-clickity-click.

"...consequently..."

Clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-clickity-click ity-clickity-clicki-

"WILL WHOEVER'S MAKING THAT CLICKING NOISE PLEASE STOP!" roared the teacher, startling the entire class and the guest as well.

Maes let his pen fall to the desk with a clatter and attempted to smother the laughter that was turning his face an alarming shade of red.

Roy let out a quiet snicker before stamping on his own foot to keep from bursting out laughing.

Right now, anything would entertain him.

And always, even in the deepest recesses of boredom, Maes would always be there with some ludicrous plan for excitement and mischief.

And always, it would remain so.

Through depressing school classes, tedious studies of alchemy, the darkest depths of war and into mountains of paperwork, Maes was the light that pierced the gloom.

Roy grinned and Maes grinned back, his face lit with ecstatic joy.

"You...just..." Roy whispered, his cheeks red with laughter.

"I just what?"

"HUGHES AND MUSTANG! DE-TEN-TION!"

Always getting him in trouble.

Inspired by an event in my life during a very boring class. (Guess who was clicking the pen, hahaha!)