centerThe Hot Spots of the Spectral Realm
By, Evelin The Winged/center
And yes, I shall be looking forward to tortureing Hash'ak'gik' as usual. =-D \_/
centerChapter 1
The Spectral Ream Café, the Place for
Not-So-Average Low-Lives/center
The Author walk's into the Spectral Realm Café, as she is one of the S. Realm's low-life citizens.
Raziel: Where were you?
Evelin: I almost got a ticket from a police Sluah. Damned things always make me late. The only time's that I don't get caught is if I actually AM the one to blame.
S. Raz's lingering human soul: *Rumbling sounds are heard*
Janos: We never get a straight answer out of 'him'. He's just like Kenny from South Park.
Evelin: I bear witness to that.
Raziel: Me too.
Bash'ok'mol':Me three.
Evelin: Dammit, why do demons always have to interfere?...And why do they have names like that?
Another demon walk's to the three Ancient's table.
Jug'ar'not': There you are, little bro! I've been looking all over for you! *Pull's Bash'ok'mol' away from the table occupied by the three Ancients and drag's him over to his friends*
One of their sluah friends arrive.
Charlie Green, the sluah: Evelin, how come my name sound's like 'Charlie Brown'?
Evelin: Beginner's ideas at creating sluah names. Tough, that's 'no-life', get used to it. Nuff said.
Evelin(Changing subject): So...How many times have you all died? I died about...Hmm...5 times.
Charlie: None. I lived here from the beginning.
Janos: Once.
Raziel: Counting a Reaver death, 3, but for now, 2. Impaled by the Reaver then chucked into the Abyss.
Janos: Heart got ripped out by the super git.
S. Raz's Soul:*Get's angry and tries to bug Janos by flying around him like crazy.*
Raziel: Poor Evelin.
Evelin: I don't really care anymore. I think I'm like you.
Charlie: I thaught that you are.
Evelin: Shut up, you. Don't talk about things of which you don't understand.
Charlie: OUCH! THAT'S GOTTA HURT! GETTIN' YOUR HEART RIPPED OUT OF YOUR FRIGGIN' CHEST!
Janos: And you think that what you said make's me feel better? Your dreaming. *Roll's eyes*
Café Owner(Standing up): Sorry, but I'm changing this place into a night club!
Evelin: Oh, BOOOO!!!!!! *Throw's her cappicino at the Café owner*
Charlie: Evilin-EVILIN!
Evelin: HEY! I'M THE AUTHOR FOR GOD'S SAKE, RESPECT ME! I CREATED YOU, AND YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!...CHARLIE BROWN!
Charlie: THAT'S IT, I'M LEAVING!*Leave's*
Janos: Well, that's minus one more friend.
Raziel: If you even CALL him a FRIEND. He always got on my nerves.
The place suddenly turn's into a night club and people are seen dancing and their drinks suddenly turn to liquor and shit like that.
Evelin: HEY! I DIDN'T WANT THIS!
Raziel: What the f*** has been up with HIM?!
Evelin: THESE ARE HOOKER DRINKS, YUCK!
Jug'ar'not: Well, I'm unemployed. I've beeen unemployed since about a hundred years after the corruption of the pillars, yep!
Evelin: Well, Hash'ak'gik' is actually the one who got you fired, I heard. I've also heard that he got up to the higher demon ranks up to the time when Willie got killed by Kain, and were stuck in this damn shithole full of people looking for trouble.
Raziel: Heh, yeah. I mean, Hashie took your job, so you got fired.
Janos: Man, he got CANNED. But what I'm really remembering is the time Evelin was writing some math info on the board to teach her pet Winged Auroboro. It was "Finding the Slope of a Line". Apparently, she was using A LOT of slang and it came up like ithis/i:
Findin' zee Slope o' da' Line
Evelin: Dammit, you sitill remember? I can't believe that I can't even control my own cast in my fics! That's PERSONAL INFORMATION, YOU DORK!
(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, that did, indeed, happen.)
S. Raz's Soul:VVRRVMVR!
Janos:*Wave's him away* Come again?
S. Raz's Soul: VRRRRMMRRRVVVREMIVRRR!
Janos: OH! I get it! You wan't a martini!
Evelin: No! No hooker drinks! Never will you EVER drink hooker drinks!
Janos get's up.
Evelin: Dammit! Why doesn't ANYONE listen to the voice of reason around here, anyway?! EWhy, I'm older that ALL of your ages slpapped into one!
Raziel: And he still doesn't know who I am. Sad, really.*Turn's to S. R's Soul in his chair* I-am-your-FATHER!
S. Raz's Soul: ????
Raziel: OKAY, okay...YOU! *Start's to sing* YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU-YOU!
Human S. raz's Soul: VRRRMAVRAMMMLLWWWVVVVRRRMMMM!
Janos come's back with the martini and place's it in front of his murderer's soul who humm's a thanks and finishes 'his' drink in one gulp and float's to the bar for more, now addicted.
Jug'ar'not': Stupid soul. *He get's beaten up by Raziel*
Raziel: HEY! It's MY soul, REMEMBER?!
Jug'ar'not': Yeah. Sorry.
Evelin: I'm sick of this place. Let's go on over to some other café...How about, "The Serafan Café", or "The Hylden café"? But we might find Hylden babies in the Hyulden café, and they like to possess people.
Janos: Your already posessed.
Evelin: Shut up, you.
Raziel: By who?
Evelin: One of the oldest, most senile demons ever to walk the face of Nosgoth.*Eyes turn red* MWAHAHAHAHAHAA! Smokey nthe bear with a shgovel!*Control go's back to Evelin*I HATE that thing! How do you dispossess someone?
The Others:*They shrug*
Evelin: Dammit! I can't 'not-live' like this!
Raziel: How about the Sarafan Café?
Evelin: Fine with me. Let's get the hell out of here.
The five leave.
At the Sarafan café...
People are having bar fights, pissing., and brandishing their staffs and swords.
Sarafan raziel's Soul, who got DRAGGED away from his 16th martini, ssem's to be speaking clearly due to his drunkeness.
S. Raz's Drunk Soul: MARTINI.......
Evelin: -_-
Raziel: I think the Hylden café is better.
Evelin: How about the Ancient café?
Janos: OK. These cafés seem to be running out of ideas for names, or maybe it's just the author...?
Evelin: Shut up, you. =-(
Jug'ar'not': I need to go find a job. -_-'
Evelin: Fine. Go. We'll be at the Ancient's café if you need us, which I doubt.
They arrive at the Ancient's Café and finally settle down.
Raziel: It's about time we found a quiet place.
S. Raz's Drunk Soul: *hIc*
Raziel: I just hope that he never get's any kind of driver's license.
Evelin: He can't drive any way. It's the law. Souls like him can't drive...Hmm...Let's go camping tomorrow!
Janos: Well...I don't have anything to do...
Evelin: Geat then.
Reviews, anyone?