A/N: Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, my beta/ roommate is gone for the weekend.
Angst ahead, just a warning but I make up for it. Hope you enjoy.]
Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing fanfiction if I owned them now would I? ;)
"What are we doing?"
The question sparks out of nowhere, throwing Castle off guard, "What do you mean?"
"I mean. what are we doing?"
"You mean besides each other?" Castle waggles his eyebrows.
"Castle. I'm trying to be really serious here."
"Okay, sorry."
"Castle. I want to do this, I need to know I can do something else outside of what my whole life has been about... I swear to God castle if you make one more inappropriate joke right now..."
"Wasn't planning on it..." They had talked about the possibility earlier but Castle was more in the land of spies and gadgets than real life. "Listen Kate... I know you want to do this and I couldn't be more proud, having a girlfriend that a federal investigator that is so bad ass but what happens next? What happens to us if you're traveling all these places, taking all these jobs. I mean, I would be more than happy to go with you, easy thing about being a writer, I can do it from anywhere."
"I cant ask you to leave your family, Castle. That wouldn't be fair."
"But what about us? Do you want me to just sit here the whole summer while you are training in DC then?"
"I don't know, Castle. It selfish of me to ask you to come along."
"So what if I stay, what happens then?"
"We work it out, I can fly home when I'm free." Kate shrugs her shoulders and looks slightly brokenhearted already.
"But what happens when you graduate?"
"Well figure it out then... plus we don't even know if I will qualify. Bending the rules all these years working with you might come back to bite me in the ass."
"You'll make it in. They would be incredibly stupid not to let you in."
"Castle."
"Kate. I don't know if I'll be able do this come three months."
"You've waited for me for all these years, whats a couple of months?" The words slip out before she can catch them.
"Things are different now Kate, we are actually together. The few months will be fine, but... I know this is what you want and I will always have your back, but Kate..."
They make the three month separation, he even pulls some strings to get into her top secret graduation. They made it work, traveling on the weekends and off time, spending nights together in hotel rooms in different states.
"If you take this offer, if you walk away from this, from us... I cant." He pauses and looks down, trying to keep the tears from flowing, "I can't do it anymore."
"Castle wha-?" Her tears start to fall.
"I mean, if you walk away. I don't think I can give us another shot."
"Rick."
"Kate, I've chased you around for years and now that I have you I don't want to let you go. I know it's selfish but I love you, Kate. You know that. I want..." Castle pauses to collect himself, heartbroken and angry.
"You want what Castle, spit it out." Kate wipes tears from her cheek.
"I want... to marry you and- "
silence.
"I know working for the feds is an amazing accomplishment and prestigious and I would be proud of you, but I'm still proud of you here. Everyday. Your strength, your passion, your intellect... Kate, I-"
Kate's hands start to tremble when she wipes away the tears again, "are you seriously asking me to marry you or are you just asking because you're afraid I'll leave?"
Castle stands from the couch and disappears into his office, returning to the room moments later with a small silver box.
"Castle." She half warns, because she already knows her answer, but she wasn't expecting him to ask on the day she came home.
"This is it, Kate. I have been meaning to ask you for months now I just never found the time, but I wont ask now because it's not the time. I don't want to make you angrier than you already are." Castle sets the box on the couch in the space between them.
Kate hesitantly picks up the box and opens it, gasps, closes it quickly and gently sets it back on the couch between them. Then nothing but silence.
She finally meets his gaze, "Castle?"
"What?"
"Ask me?"
"Now?"
"Yes."
"No, now's not the time. There's no romantic dinner with candles and music."
Kate chokes out a laugh, "seriously, Castle?"
"What? I want it to be perfect."
"I already know you have the ring, so it wont be a surprise."
"Yeah, well. Me attempting to give you jewelry never turns out well."
They both laugh.
He wipes the last tear off her cheek with the pad of his thumb.
Kate takes matters into her own hands, slides forward and takes his face in her palms and kisses him lightly, "marry me, castle." Not so much asking but demanding.
"Hey. I thought I was supposed to be doing the asking?"
"Yeah well, you took too long to think about it."
"But..."
"Let it go, Castle. You've already done this twice, take a chance and mix it up a little." Kate shrugs and shoots him a sly smile.
Castle smiles brightly, leans in and kisses her.
"So is that a 'yes'?"
"Yes... but can I at least put the ring on your finger so I don't feel totally cheated?"
Castle fumbles with the ring in his shaking hands but he eventually gets it on her finger.
Kate takes his hands, "I'm sorry I did all this, I guess I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do something outside of motives from my mom's murder. But then again, I did that when I started dating you didn't I?""
"That's true."
and that's it.
cheers.