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Vow Of Mine

Her world was broken and she knew it in the moment she heard the shot. This should have been the last case both of them were working on together. Only three days from that moment and they would have been married, husband and wife.

Now she was kneeling beside him, feeling his warm blood trickling through her fingers, feeling him breathing flatly and his look burning onto her skin.

"Tony..." She whispered breathlessly and looked into his eyes. "Stay with me... I am begging you... don´t leave me!" Tears were running down her pale cheeks and she was shivering badly. "Kate... I love you... I should have told you that ... so long ago... on the ... day we first met." He whispered hoarsely and coughed badly afterwards. Blood appeared on his lips and splashed out of the wound on his abdomen. "You have all the time of the world to tell me. You will be okay... you just need to stay with me... they will help you." She said and looked towards Gibbs, who knelt some steps away from Tony. "The paramedics must arrive every minute." She reassured Tony, who just shook his head.

"Kate... Katie... it is too late... I know that... but ... I gotta tell you something... I wanted to tell you on our... wedding day." He whispered and his voice got weaker with every word.

"But then do so... don´t leave me alone Tony." She begged and squeezed his hand.

"I´ll ... always be with you..." he closed his eyes for a short moment before he went on.

"Caitlin Todd...

In times of despair and sorrow,

One look into your eyes gives me

Enough strength to go on.

In times of grief and sadness

It is your touch,

My heart finds comfort in.

In times of happiness and joy,

It is you

Who makes me complete and whole.

My first and my last thought

Belongs to you, everyday

That I am allowed to share with you.

You are my heart, my soul, my everything.

From this day on

We are one heart, one soul though we are two bodies...

With this vov of mine, I bind myself to you..." His voice had been remarkably strong while he talked to her, but the tears in his eyes showed how hard it had been. Kate had presses her face against his hand and cried bitter tears. "I love you Tony... always!" She said and let out a painful cry when she saw the man she loved, lying in a pool of his own blood with his eyes closed. She didn´t have to check for his pulse, she knew that he died. He died in her arms, the arms of the woman he loved.

Kate didn´t know how she had survived the following days. She had lost her feeling for time and space in the moment she had lost him.

On the day that was supposed to be the luckiest day of her entrie life, she was indeed sitting in a church, but wearing a black dress. Nothing the priest said, could comfort her nor take away the increadible pain she felt.

On the way to the grave Gibbs and Ducky had to support her, otherwise she would never have made it.

She hadn´t lost a single tear during the memorial service, but was shivering badly. Now sitting in front of the open grave, she still hoped and begged that she would wake up and realize that everything was just a dream. A terrible nightmare from which she could recover in Tony's arms.

"Agent DiNozzos fiancee asked to deliver the funeral speech." The priest said and stepped away from the lectern.

When Kate stepped towards it, McGee, Gibbs, Ducky and Abby exchanged confused and worried looks.

With a terribly shaking voice she started to talk.
"As you all know, today was supposed to be Tony's and my wedding day. It was supposed to be the luckiest day in our entire life." She made a short break and closed her eyes for a moment. "He died in my arms... he died in my arms and the last thing he said was the wedding vow he wrote for me." A single tear was slowly running down her cheek.

"God, there are so many things I could say... but nothing ... there is nothing in this world... which could express or show what I feel. Nothing could ease the pain that is tearing me apart, distracting me, killing me." Again she paused for some seconds, searching eyecontact with Gibbs, McGee, Ducky and Abby. Suddenly she smiled. "So I won´t try that. Instead of that I will tell you how much I loved him." She cleared her throat and closed her eyes.

"Anthony DiNozzo...

In every language

of this world, there is

at least one word for "love"

though no words could

ever describe my

feelings for you.

For you, there shall be no pain,

For I am your comfort.

For you there shall be no fear,

For I am your guardian.

For you, there shall be no darkness,

For I am you light.

Together with you,

Eternity seems to be

just as long as a heartbeat.

But seperated from you,

Every heartbeat seems to be

As long as eternity.

You are my heart, my soul, my everything.

From this day on,

We are one heart, one soul, though we are two bodies.

With this vow of mine, I bind myself to you."

When she opened her eyes again Abby cried bitter tears. Gibbs and Ducky did their best to comfort her.

"I love you. And as long as the world lasts nothing can ever change that." She whispered and truned around to the open grave.

She kissed the red rose, she held in her hands and watched it falling down into the grave.

"Nothing can ever change that."