Winter's Silence
Snow lightly plummeted to the ground as I dragged my feet around the town, and the brusque winter wind lashed at my face, sending chills throughout my body. Everyone seemed to be in their place, some out shopping and others out eating, though I have no purpose, it seems. Through the dimly lit windows, I can see children and families alike smiling with that same expression on their faces, the expression that says, "I belong here". Well I do not. Everyone here is kind and outgoing, and some are truly down-to-earth, though I just do not quite connect with them. There are always the occasional "hello's and how are you's", but that's as far of a conversation that I'll ever get with anyone. I know I should not seem so conceded, that I should be a little more outgoing myself, but life has always been like this for me. I've never really had a friend to be close to, someone to really be there for me. Life's always been this lonely, and sometimes I honestly feel like this cold wind; I am invisible, and I can hit you all I want, but you won't feel much, and all I really am is an annoyance. I can't bear looking at all these blissful faces, I just cannot find it in me to stay here and feel sorry for myself; I do that too much. I don't want to go home though; it is too painful to sit there by myself.
"Hello Akari, how are things going for you?" Anissa said softly. Her long dark brunette hair swayed in the harsh wind, and the features on her faced glowed, regardless of the patches of sun peaking their way through the abundant clouds.
"Oh, hello Anissa. Um, things are okay, just a little busy all with buying gifts for my family. How are you?"
"Same here, the holidays are really getting close! Speaking of which, I'm out buying gifts for my family and friends as well. I really must get going though, before the shops start to close."
"Okay, well enjoy the shopping!"
She giggled and said aloud, "Hah! If only it were easier! Well, see you around."
"Yeah, see you around."
That was one of the villagers, Anissa. She's a really sweet girl, and probably one of the most mature and down-to-earth people around here. Though that's probably the longest conversation I've had with any one in quite a while. Brrr! It really is cold out! Oh, I hadn't even noticed how far I walked already. Sometimes I just am so wrapped up in my thoughts that I forget the reality around me. As the trees started to blow fiercely in the wind on either side of me, a clearing started to make its way to expose the beautiful Maple Lake District, with the stunning iced-over lake right in the center of it. I love looking at the Maple Lake during the winter; it's just so breath taking! The big snow-capped spruce trees towering over the frozen waters, and the thick snow covering all around it just makes it the perfect scene of the season. Usually there are people skating here, as it is a very popular place, but right now it's deserted and I have it all to myself. I guess I had taken my time when I was walking here, because you can barely see the sun through the dense clouds just setting, and on the opposite side of the sky, you can just make out the tiny twinkling stars that are getting ready to claim their spot in the sky. I can hear the far away crunching of someone walking on the snow, and I think I can barely see the figure. Probably just someone walking off to town, though instead of walking on the other side of the lake that heads to town, they are walking towards me! THUMP, THUMP. THUMP, THUMP. Calm down, it's not as if anyone here would ever want to hurt you, but whoever it is, it seems like they have notice of me.
"Heya, Akari! I thought that was you."
"Hi Owen, good to see you." Good, it's just Owen. He's probably the friendliest person I know, but sometimes I get intimidated due to his tall and bulky figure.
"You too! Don't you love the holidays? Everything just seems so exciting!"
"Yeah, I know what you mean. The mood is very uplifting! How have you been?"
"Good! Though I haven't seen you in a while. I missed you!" He was exaggerating by jutting out his lower lip and acting as though I'd caused him severe pain.
I simply laughed aloud, reassuring him that I had missed him too. What was weird was that I felt a shock of guilt and sorrow shoot throughout my body when he had made the sarcastic but true joke.
"So have you gotten a tree yet? Man, I haven't even dropped by to see your decorations yet!" He had such an expression of a child's, it was almost impossible not to burst out into laughter! Though he just stood there, smiling with that same expression that gave the illusion that he was much younger at heart than his actual features gave away.
"You're right, you haven't!" And I mimicked him with the same sarcastic pout. He chuckled, with chiming tone it. "The truth is though, that I haven't finished decorating. In fact, I haven't even decorated my tree yet!"
"Aw man, you're far too behind in this holiday season! Must I teach you everything?" I couldn't help but giggle again. He always acted with much enthusiasm when he talked. By now, the sky was darkening and filled with clouds that released tiny spits of snow crystals that were now beginning to reach the ground. "Hey, are you busy or something?"
"No." I replied with a little too much grief in those words, for he seemed to catch it, and began to smile.
"Good! Would you mind if I critiqued your amateur decorating skills? You really need a pro's advice at these things."
"Not at all." He really seemed intent on the idea of making fun of my poor decorating skills, so of course I couldn't say no and crush his fun. In fact, I was actually enjoying the company, and it seemed like I was in a much higher mood. We walked slowly to my house, and the snow really started to fall down hard.
"If this snow keeps up we'll be trapped indoors for days!" Owen exclaimed.
"I know, isn't it great?"
"You like the snow?"
"Mhmm! This is my favorite time of year."
He laughed with a booming echo that seemed like it would shake all the snow off of the trees. "Sorry, it's just weird cause' you seem like such a shy person, but when you start talking you really are enthusiastic!"
"Me?" I thought aloud. "If anyone's really enthusiastic, it's definitely you!"
"Well yeah, that's obvious, but you're different. You're kinda both shy and outgoing at the same time."
"Oh, thanks." I couldn't help but chuckle, half in amazement and half in wonder.
"Wow! This place looks AWESOME!" He looked up at my tiny cottage in complete awe, staring like a child who's entering a candy store for the first time. I didn't have enough time to get everything done, and I'd get to the rest eventually, but I had the basics down. The wreath hanging on the door, the icicle lights dangling from the roof, the candles shining an amber light through all of the windows, the trees and bushes glimmering with both gold and colored lights, and of course a hand-made snowman which I had made just two days ago.
"Please, this is just an amateur's work. I bet your place looks a thousand times better than mine! I haven't even finished yet!"
"Nah, I was wrong. You do pretty well on your own, dontcha?"
"…Heh, yeah I guess."
He looked at me like maybe he said something wrong.
"What do you mean by that?" He said with intrigued eyes.
"Hmm? What do I mean by what?"
He looked at me, confused again, "Oh, you just seemed a little upset is all." Then he quickly changed the subject. "The past two seasons have been real busy, huh? There wasn't a day that I got to sit down and rest, what with Ramsey and all his extravagant jobs he gives me. I didn't even get to hang out with Luke as much."
"Yeah, everyone seemed real busy! It was actually pretty rare to catch someone walking around in town, other than the ones walking to work!"
"Yeah, luckily since winter is rolling in, I'll have a lot more free time, so we can hang out all the time! I'm telling you, we can go sledding, and ice-skating, and do so much fun stuff!"
I laughed, saying barely audible from the laughter that, "you know, I don't know if I've ever said this before, but you really still have the heart of a child!"
"And proud of it!" He stuck his tongue out at me, once again with that same sarcasm that seemed to brighten up the mood, no matter what it was.
I began to remember when we first met, back in late summer. I had just moved here to my little cottage right outside of town, and he was probably one of the first people I had met. He dropped by my house to welcome me to the neighborhood, and we ended up talking for over an hour! He was thrilled to find out that I was an artist, and told me I was the only one around. I remember feeling so happy that I had moved here, that I would feel like I belonged here, because afterwards we started to spend time together. He quickly became my budding friend that I had always wished for, but that soon ended. I vaguely remembered him saying about how much he worked, and when he announced it again just before, it all seemed to make sense. After the few times we had spent together, he just stopped talking to me. I didn't hear one word from him for months, and I was heart-broken, though I had seen it coming. No one ever chooses to hang out with me. It was always like that in school; if someone did invite me to a party or some gathering, it was because their parents felt bad for me and made their children invite me. But seeing now that he was wrapped up in work, I felt bad for judging him as I had with all the rest of people that had deserted me.
"So, are you up for some ice-skating? Chloe and I were just on the lake this morning, so there's probably less of a chance now that you'll see me fall!"
I was a bit shocked that he already wanted to do something together, but then I remembered that it's Owen, and that spontaneous is his middle name. It just felt so weird for all of this to happen so fast. "Of course!" I said with a little hesitation. "And we'll see about that."
I ran inside and quickly grabbed my skates out from my small closet, then rushed outside where we left to go to his house. He led me through the door, and I smelt the distinct odor of burning metal, almost like the taste of blood.
"Good evening Miss." Ramsey said sternly.
"Good evening Sir, Happy Holidays."
"You too." He then said with a smile.
Owen told me to "wait a sec" while he ran upstairs to get his skates. Just from where I stood, it sounded like what seemed to be Christmas music, and it sounded like a classic. Oh! Chloe, Owens's much younger cousin, was watching a Charlie Brown special with much interest, laughing occasionally at my favorite parts as well. I love seeing little children with that look of wonder in their eyes during Christmastime. It reminds me so much of myself when I was young, with my heart glowing with the thoughts of love and hope.
"Okay, I'm good. Let's go!" He said with joy.
"Umm, shouldn't we invite Chloe to go?" I thought, though she was clearly seen with much keenness in her movie.
"Oh, no, it's past her curfew. Ramsey doesn't like her being out late, even with me."
Oh, that's right; Ramsey and Owen are always looking out for her safety. The imaginary parents and siblings that I had always hoped for, especially during this season. I knew that Chloe's parents had died in a horrible house-fire, and that she had been the only survivor, but I didn't know the story behind Owen staying with his great-uncle. I wouldn't ask that question though; it'd be much too rude.
"Okay, well maybe another time then." And just as I said that, he was already dragging me by the arm, and we were out the door and on our way to the lake. The touch of his hand sliding down from my arm to my hand made my heart flutter, though I knew I shouldn't see it like that. I knew that's all he saw in me; a good friend, who he hoped to help break out of her shell.
Stepping outside into the wintry night has always been a favorite of mine, because you can always smell the sweet, smoky smell of fires burning in chimneys throughout homes. The snow was starting to slow down again, and of course we did not walk through the night in silence, for that is definitely not like Owen. He was chattering to me about what he had gotten for his little cousin and great-uncle for Christmas. He kept saying that he couldn't wait for Christmas to come so he could see the jubilance shoot across his family's faces as they opened the presents he had gotten them.
As we entered the Maple Lake District, I noticed something quite different about the scenery. Something I hadn't noticed before because I never came this way so late at night. I knew that this town liked to go crazy during the holidays, but I didn't know how crazy. Each and every one of the enormous spruce trees were covered in the prettiest gold lights, head to toe. I gasped as I saw the beautiful sight, and Owen looked at me with a little questioning in his eyes.
"What, you've never seen the lights before?" He said with that everlasting smile.
"Um, no. I usually don't pass this way this late in the evening."
He looked down at me with a smile, almost like he was happy that he could see me look at the lake for the first time. He got down in the snow so that he could put his skates on, which looked massive in size. I did the same, and put on my tiny little bright white skates as well, for I hadn't skated much, mostly due to the fact that I fall a lot! Regardless, I still loved it a lot, but I only did it when no one was around. I am pretty embarrassing! Owen got up first, but waited for me as he held his hand out to help me get up from the snow mounds. I noticed that there was no one around, and it felt weird being the only two skating. As soon as we stepped onto the lake, I began feeling my balance disappear, and I almost fell on the first try. Already!
"Easy there, you're gonna break your leg before we even skate!" He laughed out loud.
I simply blushed, already feeling a bit embarrassed. He saw the red-rose color flush through my cheeks, and took my arm in his arm, and then we began. At first I was so scared that I would've sworn that my heart skipped a beat, and I think he read that in my eyes. He looked at me and grinned with all of his teeth showing, and I couldn't help but look away, blushing. The wind blew through my hair as we skated in large circles around the lake, and I couldn't stop smiling, and occasionally laughing! Just before, it felt like I had nothing to live for, and now I was having the time of my life! It's fascinating to see how someone else can change your life so quickly. If Owen had never come, I would instead be sitting on the snow, all alone. And I'd only be tempted to skate, though I'd never have the courage too. But here I am, skating with the kindest guy in the world!
"Race you to the other side!" Owen exclaimed as he got a head start.
"Hey, that's not fair!" I said, despite my half laughter.
He skidded across so fast that I couldn't keep up with him, so I tried my hardest to beat him, and as I was finally beginning to catch up with him, of course I tripped over my own feet. Of all things to happen, this was the worst. I went head first forward, slamming into Owen, right in his back and taking him to the ground with me. I ended up tumbling over him and falling face first into the snow. Everything was silent for just three, long seconds, and then I heard him burst out laughing.
"Oh my God, that was hilarious!" He barely said through his laughter.
I could swear that the heat in my face was burning through the snow that I lay in. He got up, though it sounded like he was having a hard time trying. Before I knew what was going on, I was on my feet and he had already picked me up. He brushed the leftover snow off of my face with the palm of his gloves, shaking his head from side to side as if disapproving my ice-skating skills.
"That really was the funniest experience I've ever had with ice-skating before." He exclaimed with a smile.
I blushed, looking away from him with my face red-hot.
"Are you okay? …I'm sorry, I didn't even ask. Are you hurt?"
"Oh, no. I'm fine… just very embarrassed. I'm sorry for running into you and ruining…" But I was cut off by his much louder voice.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you by laughing, but don't be embarrassed! That was so much fun!"
I was forced to direct my eyes towards his face, and as hard as I tried, though, I still felt a bit humiliated. "No, you didn't offend me. I just feel stupid for running into you."
"Well don't, you just livened up the night for me is all!" He took my hand and pretty much dragged me back to the lake, where we continued to skate. This time he held me the whole time, making sure that I didn't embarrass myself again.
After a while it began to get late, and so he started to walk me home, telling me how much he enjoyed tonight. I agreed, though I said how much I would like to have erased one part. He laughed, and reassured me that I only made things better. I yawned, and thanked him sincerely.
"Tired?" He asked with a half-smile.
"Just a little…" I said, my eye lids feeling very heavy.
He looked down at me, smiling, and then said, "Here…"
I started to look up at him with a confused expression, but he grabbed my waist and easily lifted me up into his arms.
So many thoughts shot across my mind, and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I asked as lightly as I could, "What are you doing?"
His eyes met mine, but he quickly looked away, blurting out, "Sorry! You just seemed so tired and…"
I smiled, reassuring him that, "N-no, don't be! I think it's really sweet that you care so much." As if I couldn't humiliate myself enough tonight, what with falling and tripping Owen, I had just said the most embarrassing thing ever! I could feel every nerve tingling throughout my body, and I was sure that my face was the reddest that it had ever been.
Owen seemed thrilled with what I had said, saying happily, "Oh, good! Cause', um… well, I'm not so good at saying things so sweetly, but I kinda…like you."
Maybe I was wrong, maybe he honestly didn't just think of me as a friend like I had thought before. Maybe he really did care for me. I couldn't believe everything that was coming right at me. My head was spinning, and accidentally I rested my head on his chest. I didn't mean for it to happen, but I was glad that I did because he held me tighter and I could faintly hear him chuckle. He carried me all the way home through the dark night, and then brought me down to my feet at the front door of my house.
"Thank you for the best night ever!" He said aloud, hugging me so tightly that I could barely breathe.
I hugged him back, saying, "Thank you too." without any breath.
"Oh, sorry!" He said, laughing as he let go. He stared down at me for a while, and then finally said exhaling, "Goodnight." He turned away, and started walking down the path that leads to the Blacksmith's.
"Goodnight." I said back to him.
And just as I opened the door, he called back, "Oh, are you busy tomorrow?"
"…No. Why?"
"Good! Cause' I got something planned for you tomorrow!" He said with a grin. More like a smirk.
I smiled back at him, and he waved back, heading for home. I had to make myself go back inside, and though I could barely stand, I dragged my feet to my bookshelf and got out my diary. I knew that I would want to save this memory forever.