A/N: This is pretty much what happens when you have an author who doesn't really believe in marriage, and characters that would be too damn cute if they did get married.
Disclaimer: If only, if only…
They were in the midst of doing paperwork, Jim and Bones were. And by doing paperwork, naturally they meant, Jim was kinda scanning, as he had learned to do over the last ten years of being captain, and Bones signing all the papers that Chapel had sent to him, half paying attention to the numbers she had suggest they order, but mostly giving his okay blindly. It was a routine they had while Earth-side…anyplanet-side really. They were both seated on the couch in their apartment located neatly in San Francisco, close to the Starfleet headquarters.
Joanna, who had made it a habit to stay with Jim and Bones while they were on Earth, consequences be damned, sat on the recliner…upside down, head hanging loosely and short hair sweeping the floor. She had one ear phone in her ear and the music she liked (a strange mixture of rock, country, and whatever she had just picked up from friends) was shuffling on her padd. The other ear she had left free to listen to the television, which she and Jim had overpowered her father on, and decided to watch animations. This, too, was a routine, when paperwork was being done.
Joanna, seventeen and graduated from high school a full year ahead of her class ('Dude, that place was so boring. I had to escape.'), had moved in with them for the six months they were on Earth while the Enterprise was getting her repairs, and new systems upgrade (sure to piss off Scotty like no one's business). Her mother hadn't been pleased, but she swore her father had a smug grin on his face, and Jim had been more than happy to clear out, and 'help' redecorate the room that had only thus far been her 'part time' room. By helping, they meant…Jim had done all the work, while Joanna had just picked everything she wanted…oh, to a captain's only daughter.
Jim glanced at her, smiling when she caught him and waved her padd at him. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, trying to focus on the words that were droning on and on about some upgrade to the communications station on his ship, and he just barely managed to keep enough of himself to send it to Uhura for her okay before he okayed her okay. Sneaking a glance at the clock, he noticed it was only ten. They had been working on paperwork for an hour—it already felt like they had been at it for a millennia.
He tried to push through it, hating how boring and complicated they made all of this sound. Jim swore Starfleet was worse than Vulcans when it came to wording sentences. A four word question somehow always turned into a five page request. That was some freaky, language voodoo. He switched to the next request, a form for one of his people to change posts. She had gotten married before leaving for the last five year mission, and had had some troubles being away from her wife for so long.
Jim couldn't blame her really. He and Bones worked together on the same ship and sometimes three days of opposite shifts felt like the end of the world. Only sometimes though. After near ten years of being together, a fair amount of time was spent creating new and inventive ways to ignore each other. It was almost like a game. 'Let's See Who Can Up With the Most Asinine Shit in Order to Avoid the Other.' Pretty catchy title, although they were working on a better one.
That, of course, is not to say that they didn't love each other. They adored each other in the best possible way. On Earth, the first month was spent with so much time alone, that after about the eighth day they were sending each other messages over padds trying to find an overlap in their schedules just so they could talk for five damn minutes. They worked mostly together, though. They worked together, and they lived together, they ate together. That's a lot of together, and sometimes it was a blessing to have alone.
It was so ridiculous.
Jim signed off on the Yoeman's request, before he set his padd down. Jo took that opportunity to come almost upright. Now sitting on the chair sideways, back resting against on armrest and her legs hanging over the other side, she quirked an eyebrow at him. It was so similar to her father he nearly scowled at Bones just for teaching her that.
They had a small staring contest, which she won eventually, because being fresh out of a high school that had mostly been too slow for her, she was the queen of keeping her eyes open, even when sleeping. After Jim lost, he tried to get back to the paperwork…but it was so damn boring. He pushed the glasses up his nose again, as if that would magically help his situation. His mind started going through the other things they could be doing today.
It was October, so most of the things they normally did were out of the picture. The zoo, which Jo adored, was shut down. The beach was a total 'uh uh'. Way too damn cold. They could go to museum…but they had all been to each one that they could probably give tours themselves (probably up the rating given their names and certain 'celebrity' status). He was at a loss, honestly.
He looked over at Bones, who by this point was kind of reading what he was getting (apparently having run out of forms to sign by Chapel), and made a habit of tapping his hand against the arm of the couch.
"Something you want, Jim?" he asked neutrally.
Jim thought about it for a while. He wanted to get out of the apartment and away from the paperwork. He wanted to go have fun, and hang out with friends, and Jo, and Bones. He wanted to not be bored. Which apparently meant in his own personal language (which Uhura was still trying to figure out), "Wanna get married?"
Jo…she perked right up, sitting board straight in her recliner ('cause, yes, it was hers). Bones didn't even look up from his padd, didn't even scowl further as he continued reading the form before him. "Right now?" he asked curiously.
Jim wasn't deterred by his absolute lack of exuberance. Hell, he woulda been worried had Bones even looked remotely excited. He and Bones didn't work that way in their relationship. They had a habit of just falling into things due to boredom, anger…or the most fun, alcohol. Jim just pushed his glasses up to rest in his hair.
"Have you got something more pressing to be doing?" Jim asked conversationally. He turned towards Bones, resting one arm along the back of the couch to give his partner of almost ten years his attention (honestly, even a quick argument was better than paperwork). He really didn't care if Bones turned down the offer for marriage. They had gone this long without it; Jim was pretty sure they could go forever without it.
It would be kinda fun though.
Bones finally picked his head up, now laced with more than its fair share of white hairs, so that he could settle green-brown eyes on him. "Paperwork, Jim," he said, holding his padd up for the captain to see…as if he hadn't just stared at it for the last hour. "Y'know, what you should be doing?"
Jim scoffed and Jo tried her best to look like she wasn't totally hanging on their every word. "C'mon!" Jim said, slowly sliding towards Bones. "Getting married shouldn't take more than…what? Eight hours?"
Bones made confirmed with a small nod and a grunt. Jim continued, "We go get registered; gather up the gang; grab Jo; get married; maybe have a small dinner celebration, and before you know it, we're back in time for a bit of paperwork before bedtime!"
He smiled at the end of it all, but Bones just continued to stare for moments on end.
"You and I both know there will be no paperwork before bedtime…unless that's your new codeword of the month," he said drolly.
Jim scrunched his brow, flicking a quick glance at Jo. "Was trying to keep it PG," he growled, conveying his very famous 'duh' throughout the statement, while keeping it in what he thought was a low tone.
Apparently, not low enough. Jo let out a small, merciless giggle and said, "I know you two have sex, Jim. That's why I have that radio."
They both stared at her for a moment, taking in the smug look on her face, because, god knew, they were both turning red. Bones looked like he was unsure whether to scold her or apologize, and Jim was just a little embarrassed. He had thought they were quiet enough…"Oh…Jo…" he wiped his hand over his face, shaking his head.
Her cackling was all that could be heard for a few seconds. Seventeen was obviously the age where kids started embarrassing parents, instead of the other way around. When she was finished laughing, and sliding through her playlist to find a song that didn't annoy her so much, Jim finally returned his attention to Bones, who still looked just a little mortified.
He cleared his throat, and when he had Bones' attention, he asked, "So, what d'ya say? Its gonna be a boring…" he threw Jo a glance, "probably embarrassing day otherwise."
Bones sighed, and set his padd down. Sitting back up again, he spared Jim another longsuffering glance, which clearly said, 'I have suffered your cockamamie bullshit too long, because I am actually considering this'. Then he turned to his daughter, who was now sitting cross-legged in the chair leaning towards them with her own green-brown eyes boring holes into their skin. Jim kinda thought that Jo just might be pulling for Jim's plan…although, for probably a better reason than boredom.
"Jo," he asked (only a little cautious), "you got something more entertaining to offer before I give my life to this nitwit?"
Jim smiled at the name, which really, was more a term of endearment when coming from his partner's lips.
She pretended to think about it for all of five seconds, before she proclaimed jubilantly, "Nope! Not off the top of my head, but if you're getting married, I need to change."
Bones shrugged, looking like he had lost a round of rock/paper/scissors instead of 'agreeing' to marry Jim. Jim could tell though, as he turned to meet his eyes again, there was a hint of a smile tugging on his lips, and a certain glimmer in his eyes. He wasn't at all put out by this sudden turn of events. He probably didn't even mind that Jim had only thrown the idea of marriage out because he didn't want to do paperwork. That was probably half the reason he accepted in the first place.
"I guess we're getting married," he said with a shrug. He pulled up his padd again and signed off on it quickly before he set it down for the last time. When he looked at Jim again, he asked sarcastically, "Should I pull out my dress blues?"
"Hell no!" Jim was honestly revolted by the idea of having to dress up. Although, he admitted with little hesitance that Bones was one fine looking man in his Class A uniform. Down right delicious really. However, that would not be even close to necessary today. "I'm just wearing my civvies."
Bones rolled his eyes, hefting himself off of the couch like he was 141, instead of just 41. "At least wear a nice shirt, Jim."
"Not the red one!" Jo added as she too hopped up from her chair, leaving her padd and earphone on the cushioned seat, and sprinting into her room to dress in something more suitable than her PJ's. She made a elephant's amount of noise, as only a seventeen year old could, all but stomping on the tile flooring in the apartment.
When her door had shut (slammed) soundly behind her, Bones reached down to help Jim up, pulling him deftly into his chest. Jim smiled, hooking his arms under Bones'.
They shared a chaste (for them) kiss, before Bones asked him, "The rest of our lives is a long time, Jim. Sure you wanna settle down with this sack of bones?" He winced at the play on his own nickname, looking like he wanted to cuff Jim, like he had all those years ago when the name had been appointed.
Jim just shrugged. "Ten years ago, I thought ten years was a long time to spend together. Half a century more shouldn't be that much different, right?"
Bones hummed before reaching up to settle Jim's glasses back onto his nose. With a slight smirk lingering on his lips he said, "You have to wear your glasses in the pictures."
He pulled a face, glaring up at Bones through his lenses. "What is it with you and my glasses?" he demanded.
Bones smiled, a real smile that wasn't as rare as it used to be, but still didn't happen as often as Jim wished it would. "They're sexy."
Jim rolled his eyes, pulling away to head towards their bedroom to get dressed for the day. He thought about calling their friends, but he was pretty sure that Jo was already talking to Pavel (whom she was so totally not seeing, Daddy. Not until she's eighteen) who would tell Sulu, who would tell his wife, Chapel, who would tell Nyota, would tell Spock while making a call to Scotty. They'd probably all be waiting at the courthouse by the time they got there.
Jim smiled back at Bones, happy to have something to do today, and okay, a little excited that they were getting married in general. He grabbed onto the other's hand, pulling him along to their room. Bones was probably right, no paperwork was getting done tonight, and he wondered how much Bones would protest if they let Jo stay the night with Pavel and the Sulu's (seeing as they shared an apartment for the time being, Jim thought it was pretty safe to let their daughter stay with them).
They would deal with it when it came up.
For now, they needed to get to the courthouse before all their friends demanded to know why they were late to their own damn wedding.
A/N: I hope you found this cute.
InnocentGuilt