RAT RACE
Basically AATC3: but a remake of chipmunk adventure. BASED ON RAT RACE- WITH OUT THE STUPID ENDING! each chapter will begin with a scene from the movie; alternating with chipmunk adventure.
ALVIN: What's this $110?
CLERK: Those are your in-room movies.
ALVIN: No, I didn't watch any movies.
CLERK: Okay, let's see... Afro Whores.
ALVIN: Afro Whores?
CLERK: You watched it... let's see... uh, 11 times.
ALVIN: No, no, no...
CLERK: Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores, 4 o'clock. Afro Whores, 5:30. It says in the morning you watched The Grinch for ten minutes and then switched back over to Afro Whores.
ALVIN:I swear I didn't watch it. Okay? I was at a bachelor party. There were 35 people there. You can ask any of them. You have to take that off my record.
ALVIN: It... It's a delete.
CLERK: Okay, fine. How many times *did* you watch it?
ALVIN: None! I didn't watch it!
CLERK: Are you sure? "Sizzling, three-way, backdoor action featuring two sexy soul sisters... "
ALVIN: [screaming] I don't need to know what it's about! I did not watch it! I didn't.
The clerk raises her eyebrows as Alvin signs the bill
"you.. watched porn?" asked Britt
"what's so wrong with that"
"it just is."
"I told Harry to meet us here..."
"that dude from the crazy hormone company?"
"yes that man. he said something about us needing to race with him- his daughter and birdie."
"birdie? that piece of crap?"
"one and the same"
"why does he want to race?"
"remember rat race?"
"yes- great movie- stupid ending."
Harry MacAfee then entered with his daughter Kim- and her BF Conrad Bridie
"hey man!" said Harry
"how's it?" asked Alvin
"great- I think they said something about going to the penthouse- so if you would join us."
They went up to the penthouse- oblivious to the sign on the TV:
WORLD DYING FROM H1AID1! (a deadly hybrid of AIDS and H1N1 AKA: swine flu.)
So then Matt- the billionaire entered.
"Excuse me. Thank you all for coming. I'm Matt, I own this hotel. We don't have much time. There's a meteor the size of North Carolina heading straight for Earth. The impact is going to kill every thing and everyone on this planet. I built a bunker in the basement to this casino strong enough to withstand the blast. There's room enough for eight people. I have chosen the seven of you, plus me. When this is over, it'll be up to us to repopulate and re-civilize the planet."
They all look shocked- so Matt starts to laugh.
"I couldn't resist! I'm sorry." he said
They then looked around.
"go!"
They still look around
"go!"
"move!"
"come!"
"move it! get your heads out of your asses! GO!"
"So, when you say "go", you mean, just go?" asked Harry
"Uh, begin, commence, start moving... theoretically you have been racing for about forty seconds now, and so far Mr. fat man is winning because he's nearest to the door." said Matt
"why do we race beside the 2 Mill?" asked Conrad
"I infected the world with H1AID1- a deadly DOC (death on contact) disease that is a hybrid of H1N1 AKA: SINE FLU; AND AIDS! the winner gets a vacine good for two people the rest- die with the rest of the world." said Matt
"you can't do that!" said Kim
"I can do whatever I want. I'm eccentric. Grr!" said Matt
"NAY! THOU CAN NOT!" said Harry
"I can do anything I want, I'm eccentric. Aaarrrgh. " said Matt
"so- we just go?" asked Britt
"yes."
"really?" asked Harry
"go for it fats!" said Matt
"this is better then the time...Me on the Ed Sullivan show?
Ed Sullivan
Me, Henry McAfee appearing with
Ed Sullivan
Ed-Ed Sullivan
Ed-Ed-Sullivan
Ah Ah Ed Sullivan
Ed Sullivan
Ed Sullivan
Ed-Ed-Sul-Sul
Ed Sullivan, Ed Sullivan
We're gonna be on Ed Sullivan
How could any fam'ly be
Half as fortunate as we?
We'll be coast to coast,
With our fav'rite host,
Ed Sullivan.
Ed Sullivan, Ed Sullivan,
We're gonna be on Ed Sullivan!
Ooooohhh!
I've got a wonderful wife,
Two swell kids,
A good job and now this!
Someday we'll recall
The greatest day of all
Ed, I love you!
Ed Sullivan... " sang Harry
"yeah dad I remember." said Kim
"LET'S GO!" yelled Alvin
"Uh, begin, commence, start moving... theoretically you have been racing for about two minuets now, and so far Mr. fat man is winning because he's nearest to the door." said Matt
"So what else?" asked Conrad
"it vaccine will be in a train station in Boston- in locker 000. you will take a key and the key will open the locker. inside will be a bag- in which the vaccine is in." said Matt
"quit bumpin you're ass flaps!" said Conrad
"baby- this man wants us to race these rats-" said Kim
"chipmunks!" said Alvin
"and if we win- we get 2 mill and a vaccine to not have us die." said Kim
"k babe" said Conrad
"before we begin-Let's make a resolution" Alvin said
"I'll drink to that" said Simon
"Let's always stay friends" said Britt
"Tho' we may have our disputes" said Jeanette
"This family tree's got deep roots" said Theodore
"Friendship is thicker than blood" Eleanore
"That depends" said Kim
"Depends on trust" said Harry
"Depends on true devotion" said Conrad
"Depends on love" said the 4 humans
"Depends on not denying emotion" said the chipmunks
"Perhaps" said Matt
"It's gonna be a happy new year" they all said as they drank
They then staggered out the door; to being the race.