Hey guys! This is a slightly early Xmas present for a friend since she liked the idea.
Summary: Everyone would expect Feliciano to be the center of the Christmas party with how friendly he is, but not tonight. Tonight, he has something on his mind.
Warnings: None for this chapter~ But if I get 5 reviews asking for a smutty second chapter, then there will be warnings.
Notes: Pairing is GerIta, but collage AU. I got this idea while listening to the song I Will Remember You, but this has very little to actually do with the song (I'm weird like that). This was originally not supposed to have smut at all, but as stated in the warning, I will write a smut chapter if requested because I like smut. :D
Now, onto the story!
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Everyone in the linguist dormitory had decided to hijack a nearby hotel's dinning area for a Christmas party. Okay, they didn't really hijack it; the students had been saving up to pool their money together for the event. That means that what they were doing was completely legal. Or not. Some of the students were still twenty, but they would be turning twenty-one that year so it was close enough to legal.
Chatter and laughter of various languages and accents filled the dinning hall as the students enjoyed themselves. Well, not everyone was having a good time. He was smiling, yes, but on the inside, he was tearing his heart and mind to pieces.
"Right, Feli?"
The Italian that had been spoken to gave a start, being brought out of his thoughts by the Spaniard next to him.
"V-Ve? What did you say, Toni? Sorry." Feliciano looked down, scolding himself for getting lost in thought again. The usually happy-go-lucky Spaniard let his smile drop to a concerned frown at his friend's lack of cheer.
"Feli, are you okay, mi amigo?" Forgetting the conversation, the brunette placed a gentle hand on the Italian's shoulder in a comforting gesture.
"Si," Feliciano looked up at his big brother with a small smile, "I'm alright."
"If you say so." Antonio wasn't convinced, but if Feliciano didn't feel like he was ready to talk about what was on his mind, then he would be a good older brother and not pry.
"Grazie, Toni," Feliciano smiled, knowing that his lie had been seen through but accepted nonetheless, "Ve, I think I'll go outside, okay?"
"Sure thing," Antonio's bright smile returned to his face and he ruffled his brother's hair affectionately, "Fresh air is always a good thing. Just don't come back in with a cold."
"Okay!" Feliciano laughed, having been momentarily distracted from his melancholy thoughts. The small Italian grabbed a glass of wine from the drink table as he passed and made his way to the outdoor dinning area. He was greeted with a soft, crisp breeze. He took a deep breath and walked over to the rail that surrounded the area and rested his elbows on it.
Feliciano's thoughts quickly became plagued with sadness once again as his mind filled with memories of a boy he had known a long time ago. He knew that he should be inside and enjoying the party, but how could he be happy when he felt like he was betraying his childhood love? Yeah, he liked men, but most of the people inside were either gay or bi so that wasn't part of the problem.
Feliciano turned his caramel eyes up to the moonless sky and he felt like crying. He couldn't remember anything about the boy except for bright blue eyes that looked absolutely beautiful with the soft, light blond hair. He also remembered that the boy had moved away for reasons that neither of them had been clear on at their young age.
The main problem arose when Feliciano's thoughts traveled to the man that he was currently secretly in love with. He felt like he was betraying his first love by not waiting for his return, but he couldn't help how he felt. He couldn't help that he felt so safe whenever the blond was around. He couldn't help that he found himself getting flustered when those bright blue eyes met with his. He just couldn't help it!
Feliciano also had the sinking suspicion that the man he was in love with was one of the few straight people in the linguist dorm. The thought of rejection hurt and it made him too afraid to ask the man about his sexuality.
"Ludwig." The name left Feliciano's lips tingling. Even just saying the man's name made him feel a little happier. He breathed out the name again and again in a quiet mantra. He really did love the man, but could he really let go of his childhood love like that? Now, with that thought, Feliciano became depressed the more he said the man's name. He could clearly picture the little blond boy crying and telling Feliciano that he hated him and would never forgive him. Feliciano couldn't bear that thought.
"Ludwig." This time, the name came out alongside a restrained sob. The distraught Italian tried his best to hold back his tears, but after keeping up his happy facade for so long, he simply couldn't keep the tears back now that he was alone. He fell to his knees and continued his mantra of 'Ludwig' no matter how broken it sounded from his sobbing, his untouched wine glass sitting, forgotten, on the railing.
oO0Oo-Meantime-oO0Oo
"Yo, West! Why the long face?" The albino could try to keep his volume down, but then he wouldn't be as awesome as possible.
"Hello, bruder," The blond sighed at his older brother's volume, but inwardly, he was glad to know that his brother cared about him. "Have you seen Feliciano anywhere? He said he would be here. I know he's always late, but he should have been here by now."
Gilbert smirked as his little brother went on a mini-rant because of how worried he was for their Italian friend. His little brother and the Italian seemed like a strange match up at first, but as he watched the two get closer, he realized that they were perfect.
"He should be around here somewhere if his brother and Antonio are here." The loud albino pointed out and gestured to a spot not too far away where Antonio was defending the older of the Italian brothers from Francis.
"Ja," Ludwig sighed and patted his brother's shoulder, "Thanks, Gil."
"No problem, West. Now, time to go help Francis." With that, Gilbert maneuvered through the crowd to his best friends, leaving Ludwig on his own.
"Where could he possibly be?" The blond muttered to himself and looked around trying to spot a wayward curl of hair to match the soon-to-be-molested Lovino's. He shrugged, ignoring the scene. Everyone knew that the temperamental Italian actually really enjoyed the ministrations that the Bad Touch Trio gave him nearly every night. It was no secret.
Looking over peoples' heads, Ludwig took note of the outside dinning area with little hope in seeing anyone, let alone Feliciano, out there. To his surprise though, there was someone out there, standing alone.
Growing curious, Ludwig skirted the main group of his fellow students to get a better look outside. Who would be outside, especially when there's a party inside and it's snowing outside, he couldn't help but wonder to himself. As he drew nearer to the door, he could make out red-chestnut hair and the signature wayward curl to go along with it.
Ludwig stood there, observing Feliciano for a few moments in awe of how gorgeous the smaller man looked. It was strange to see Feliciano by himself and even stranger to see such a forlorn, dazed look on the usually very bright face. Despite the sad feeling emanating from the Italian, the scene looked so surreal, as if in a painting.
The German snapped out of his stupor when he noticed how shiny Feliciano's cheeks looked and realized, with a little more than a minimal amount of surprise, that the Italian was crying. He also happened to notice that the smaller man was saying something and shaking his head as if in despair. He could only fathom what had the bouncy Italian so upset.
Ludwig opened the door slowly and as quietly as possible so as not to startle the Italian too badly. As he approached the smaller man, Ludwig used caution, not quite sure on how to approach the Italian. He could have sworn that he was hearing his name falling from those lips that he had been longing to kiss since he had been reunited with the Italian.
Ludwig hadn't forgotten about his first love as a child. He remembered a little Italian boy with a strange curl of hair and a cute verbal tic. When his family moved away from that boy, he had wanted nothing more than to be reunited with him. When he enrolled in the collage, he thought he had been dreaming when he saw a pair of Italians walking through the hallways together; one had a scowl and the other was chattering away happily. The point that caught his eye though, where the curls that adorned each head. He knew that he had found his childhood love, but when he tried to converse with the other, it seemed that he had been forgotten.
Any previous thoughts that Ludwig just had flew right out the window when he saw Feliciano drop to his knees and his sobbing became louder.
"Feli?" Ludwig finally spoke up.
Feliciano was on his feet in an instant and facing Ludwig just as quickly. It hurt the German to see the one he loved in so much pain, especially since it was an internal pain. Yet, even though his face was beet red from a combination of the cold and from crying, and he had tears streaming down his face, Ludwig thought that the man in front of him was still beautiful. He marveled at how Feliciano could still be so beautiful even in such a state and the light snowfall and dim glow from inside only complimented him more.
"Ve! L-Ludwig!" Feliciano tried to wipe his tears away quickly when his mind finally registered that he was still crying heavily in front of the one person that he didn't want to see him in his current state.
"Feli, what's wrong?" The German stepped closer to the Italian and wiped the slowing tears away with a gentle hand.
"I-I was just thinking. That's all," Feliciano was telling the truth, just not in detail, and he prayed that the larger man would leave it at that. Of, course, Ludwig had to pry.
"What were you thinking about?" Ludwig kept his voice soft and continued to stroke his love's cheek with his thumb, "It must be pretty sad if it made you cry."
Feliciano leaned in to the German's large hand and made a quiet sound, almost like a whimper. He didn't want to say anything about his thoughts because then Ludwig would put two and two together and figure out Feliciano's true feelings.
"Feliciano," Ludwig didn't like to be stern and use the small Italian's full first name, but if he didn't, then he would never get the response that he was looking for, "Please tell me what's on your mind."
"Ve," Feliciano made the noise again and closed his eyes to hold back fresh tears, "I want to tell you, but I don't want you to hate me." Ludwig's eyes widened in surprise.
"Feli," His voice softened once more, "I could never hate you," He brought his other hand to Feliciano's face and stroked the soft red-chestnut locks, "Ever."
Feliciano opened his eyes, allowing his tears to fall as he looked up to the man that he was so hopelessly in love with. 'I'm so sorry.' were his original thoughts as he worked up his courage and the heart to leave his childhood love behind, but as he looked deep into those blue optics as he had done so many times before, he just then realized something.
Feliciano finally connected the pieces together. They both had the same blond hair and the same blue eyes. He felt the same, strong sense of security with both of them. There was no mistake or misunderstanding. The boy from his childhood and this man in front of him were one in the same.
"Ludwig," Feliciano began his mantra once again, but instead of becoming more depressed, he became happier and his tears of sadness became those of joy, "Ludwig! I-It's you!" The smaller man's hands covered the blond's hands that were still on his face.
"Ja," Ludwig was so happy that Feliciano finally remembered, "It's me. I've returned to you."
"Ve! I'm sorry it took me so long to notice! Please don't be mad!" The Italian was panicking for no reason, really.
"Shh. Calm down. I'm not mad at you, Feli," The German smiled warmly at the flustered Feliciano, "I could never hate you because," He paused just for a moment. He was going to say it in German, but he thought better of it and said, "Ti amo. Ti amo, Feliciano."
"L-Ludwig!" The Italian could barely speak, he was so happy. He had finally realized just why he fell in love with the German when they had met in high school years ago. Now, he finally had the chance to tell his childhood and adult love how he felt without feeling any guilt, "Ich liebe dich, Ludwig!" Feliciano launched himself into Ludwig's strong arms, body trembling from overpowering emotions.
The two men embraced each other with a strong passion flaring in their chests. The two stood there in the snow for a long time doing nothing but embracing and murmuring sweet nothings to the other. It wasn't until the snowfall became heavier that they decided to head inside to get warmed up. They walked through the door, hand-in-hand, smiling largely.
"Hold it right there you two!"
Everyone jumped at the sudden outburst. All eyes turned to Francis who was the one who had interrupted the fluffy mood.
"Look up," Gilbert said, popping up next to the Frenchman and pointing to the top of the door frame that Ludwig and Feliciano were currently under, "Kesesese! Now you two lovebirds need to kiss!"
A blush arose on their cheeks and they glanced at each other shyly, unsure if the other was alright with the situation. It started out awkward as they leaned closer to each other, but as their lips met, they became more comfortable. Feliciano stood on his toes to deepen the supossed-to-be-innocent kiss and threw his arms around the German's neck while Ludwig wrapped his arms around the slender waist of his new boyfriend.
The two men soon began to push against the other and hands wandered as tongues battled. Ludwig won the tongue war, which Feliciano really didn't mind losing, and pushed the Italian back against a nearby table and felt up that perfectly shaped, though still clothed, buttocks. Clearly, the pair forgot that they had an audience despite all of the whistles and cheers. They were brought back to reality when Ludwig was tapped on the shoulder by his older brother.
"West," He started once he had Ludwig's attention, "Here," The albino handed him a key card, "I paid for the room so now you can have some privacy."
"Danke, bruder," Ludwig took the card and put it in his pocket just in time for his lips to be attacked again, not that he minded. He gripped Feliciano's waist firmly and lifted the smaller man. Feliciano took the hint for once and wrapped his legs around Ludwig's midsection. When the German decided that Feliciano was secure enough, he moved his hands to his lover's backside once again to hold the smaller man up better.
The exit was clumsy seeing as Ludwig's face was practically being devoured be the overly frisky and affectionate Italian.
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If anyone is wondering why Lovino didn't step in, it is because of the ever-loveable Antonio stealing the adorable tomato to a room prior to the GerIta show. :P So yeah, if you want smut, I want 5 reviews. I may even do a one-shot New Year's Spamano PWP if you ask nicely!
Until next time!