Disclaimer: nothing I own

The Nihilist

Chapter one: deals with a madman.

Naruto did not want to die. Make no mistake, his life was horrid with him being constantly abused and neglected but he had no desire to die. He had dreams after all, he wanted, no needed to be Hokage. Although if he did die he didn't expect it to be like this.

This, this was pointless; there had been no provocation, no warning, no point, and no struggling. There was no point in struggling, there were too many to get away from.

Hopeless

They had pinned him down on the road like a fucking rat and proceeded to beat the living hell out of him. When he was teetering on the edge of consciousness one of the men (his shinobi headband glittered in the street light) pulled out a kunai. Seeing what they intended Naruto had closed his eyes and began to pray to Kami that his afterlife wouldn't be as miserable as his existence thus far. There was a crushing, all consuming pain in his chest and then the only thing he knew was that he was not in paradise. He had been in a dank, smelly sewer that was utterly repulsive. The water that swirled in eddies around his ankles was thick and unpleasantly warm. In front of him there was a tall set of iron bars and behind them there was a large, rather rude and aggressive creature that called itself the Kyuubi. This would have alarmed Naruto if he had time to fully process the fact that the ancient demon that had decimated his home village was currently taking up residence inside him. But before he had a chance to even think over what the demon had said he had been wrenched from the sewer.

Currently he was standing in a large, dimly lit room. The air was bone-chilling and smelled of death. Weathered stone made up the floor and walls; a small set of stairs led up to a plateau and an ornate hearth, in which a fire that gave off no heat burned heartily, providing the only source of illumination. However it was not the layout of the room that our young blonde was focused on. He was focused on the large ornate stone throne at the top of the stairs. Or more accurately he was focused on the man sitting in the chair.

The man was dressed in a purple and black jester costume and was swaying drunkenly back and forth, talking to himself and giggling crazily every couple of words. He was twisting a long, thin, dagger of red metal acrobatically through his fingers. Due to some trick of the light Naruto was only able to make out a set of crazed violet eyes and a wide, insanely grinning mouth full of razor sharp teeth; the rest of his face was covered in shadow.

Without warning he slammed the dagger into the arm of his chair, hard enough to split stone, and pointed one gloved finger at him and shrieked, "YOU!"

Naruto flinched and the man let out a peal of laughter.

"You have something I want!" he sing-songed

"I-I-I d-do?" Naruto stuttered, taking a step back.

"Yep!" he suddenly swayed forward (his jester hat tilted steeply) and only his tight grip in the chair's arms kept him on it at all, "And I have something you want" he let out another insane peal of laughter and his grin widened.

"Yeah? What is that?" Naruto replied suspiciously, edging farther away.

"I can make your heart start again!" the grin widened even more and he giggled, a manic and disturbed sound.

"Really?" Eagerness at the prospect of living again overpowered the fear and suspicion for the moment.

"Yep! And all I want is what's…in…there" he pointed a finger at Naruto's stomach.

"What's in me?"

"DUMB BLONDE! I WANT THE FUCKING FOX!" the man exploded violently, throwing himself forward off the chair and suddenly disappearing in wisps of purple-black smoke. A second passed and Naruto glanced around nervously. Suddenly A cold arm wrapped around his neck and a gloved hand caressed his stomach, a finger tracing a circle around his bellybutton.

"I…want…the…fox" the man repeated softly, his ice cold breath hitting Naruto's cheek, causing the boy to shiver.

"O-okay" Naruto choked out. He had no problem giving up the fox if he could. After all it had been nothing but a burden, in fact it was the reason he was killed in the first place.

"It is…strange that the fox is still here. It should have been free to frolic about and murder the pathetic mortal worms…but I am not one to look a gift fox in the mouth." The arm around Naruto's neck tightened so suddenly and violently that black spots flashed in front of his eyes. "This is going to hurt. Quite a bit, actually. Feel the exquisite pain, haha…who knows maybe you'll like it" another insane giggle escaped the man.

An intense, burning, all consuming pain ripped through Naruto's stomach. An anguished scream escaped his mouth and his knees went weak. He would have slumped to the floor if not for the tight grip around his neck. But slowly, and oddly, the pain began to fade. Well, not so much fade but change. A feeling of serenity began to replace it and following close on the heels of that peace was an ecstasy that Naruto had never experienced. It was as if all the nerves in his wound were singing in the most intense pleasure he could have ever imagined. And the blonde found himself laughing and crying from pure unadulterated joy.

The arm around his neck disappeared and Naruto collapsed heavily to the floor.

"That is what you'll feel every time you sacrifice someone in my name." the man had reappeared on his chair and was using a small cage as a footrest. Inside the cage the Kyuubi paced restlessly, throwing himself against the bars and trying to snap at the man's feet.

"BRAT, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! RELEASE ME, RELEASE ME NOW OR I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU ALL!"

The man giggled and slammed his foot against the top of the cage, "shut up Kyu-chan or I'll make you into a rug"

"JASHIN! RELEASE ME NOW! HOW DARE YOU, HOW DARE YOU IMPRISON THE MOST POWERFUL OF THE BIJUU! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

The man, Jashin apparently, simply ignored this outburst and crossed his feet at the ankles.

"Now then," he spoke over the Kyuubi and his business like tone brought Naruto out of the daze he had been in, in the wake of his euphoria, "I believe I promised to bring you back to life…but there is…a catch" he finished silkily

"What? You didn't say anything about any catches!"

"Relax boy, it's not that big of a catch." Jashin steepled his fingers in front of his face and narrowed his eyes, "in fact it's more of a gift, really. I will give you immortality; you will never have to fear death again."

"Really? What would I have to do?" if I could never die, I could make all those assholes pay for what they've done. I could be an amazing ninja, the Hokage even. And if they won't respect me, then I'll make them fear me.

"Kill" Jashin threw his head back and let out a peal of manic laughter and began to rant, speaking at a rapid, fluctuating pace, "kill for me! Sacrifice the pathetic worms in my name! slaughter, massacre, destroy…" his words dissolved into mumbling and giggling.

The blonde thought about it. The people of the village really didn't mean anything to him; in fact he would relish the opportunity to kill them after what they had done to him. The closest thing he had to a bond with anyone was the Old Man, and he only stopped by once a month or so. He had no one that cared, and he didn't really care for anyone, plus that pleasure was amazing. His body was tingling, wanting more of it. It was like an itch, slowly and surely scratching at his nerves.

"Okay," he said finally.

Jashin's grin widened, "Yippee! Here take this!" he threw a spear at him. It was made of blood red metal and was Naruto's height. It's tip looked a lot like a kunai, but longer and with razor sharp edges.

"I-I don't know how to use this" Naruto said hesitantly.

Jashin laughed and teetered on his throne, "Fuck finesse, hahahaha. You can learn later. For now just swing till their dead. It's simple!" he slammed and open hand on his throne and Naruto was propelled upward.

Blue eyes opened. A feral smile stretched across whiskered cheeks. He giggled and climbed to his feet.

The screams began.

TIMESKIP

"Do you know what punishments I've endured for my crimes, my sins? None. I am proof of the absurdity of men's most treasured abstractions. A just universe wouldn't tolerate my existence."
―Brent Weeks,The Way of Shadows

Naruto Uzumaki had been called a demon for most of his life, even though he no longer contained the Kyuubi (not that he would tell the village worms that). But, if he were to have his head examined by a medical profession he would have been diagnosed as a strange mixture of the sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies. These tendencies had fermented inside the young Jashinist, compounding with daily neglect and abuse, and the end result was a monster more than worthy of the villagers fear.

"Quit crying worm, I've barely hurt you yet." Naruto allowed a sadistic smile to cross his face as he slowly ran his tongue over the bloody tip of his new katana. He groaned slightly as the pleasurable burn that signified the activation of the Curse Technique enveloped his body. Without conscious effort his foot began to trace of Jashin's symbol on the ground. The villager who had been stupid enough to attack him tried to scurry away, hand still held over the shallow cut across his stomach.

"Oh nonono. If you left now we wouldn't get to have any fun."

The blonde pulled a small black cylinder from the depths of his bloodstained jacket. With a deft flick of his wrist it telescoped out into a spike, which he slammed through his thigh. His pleased groans, mixed with his victims screams echoed off the dank walls of the alley.

Deep in the red light district of Konoha a man was left to his fate, his screams of pain just another sound in the backdrop of depravity. After an hour the screams abruptly cut off and no one noticed as, thirty minutes later, a shadow flitted out of the alley and quickly navigated its way back to a ramshackle apartment building on the borderline of the district, avoiding the streetlights the whole way.

The blonde closed the apartment's door softly behind him and began to weave his way through discarded ramen bowls, empty drink cans, and tattered clothing stained with something that looked suspiciously like blood. He leaned his sword against the wall next to the pile of red weaponry, each one gleaming clean and razor sharp but still emitting the smell of death. He shrugged off his jacket and let it drop to the floor, where it made a heavy thunk completely at odds with its lightweight appearance. He kicked of his sandals and undid the button of his pants, allowing them to fall and then stepping out of them. He tugged off his undershirt and threw it blindly behind him leaving his chest, which was tan and smooth with the exception of a jagged scar over his heart, exposed. He shivered as the cold metal of his rosary hit his heated skin. Without breaking stride he kicked off his boxers and stepped into the shower, turning it on full blast and leaning back against the wall, unmindful of the icy water. With dull eyes he watched as the remains of his latest sacrifice ran in pinkish rivulets down the drain. A small chuckle escaped him as he thought about the last terrified look the villager had given him. It had been a look of pure fear, knowing that his fate was in the hands of a cruel bastard.

His lips twisted into a scowl and his hands clenched as anger overtook him.

'Good. Now he knows how I felt'

Still scowling he ducked his head under the spray of water and let it soak into his hair. He grabbed the bottle of shampoo from its ledge and squirted a liberal amount into his hair. He rubbed it in viciously, sighing as his dull nails dug into his scalp. After a quick lather-and-rinse with his soap he stepped out of the shower, shaking his hair dry like a dog. He wrapped a towel around his waist and padded across the room to his bed. A glance at the clock elicited another scowl out of him; he only had three hours before he had to be at the academy. At least tomorrow was a sparring day. His scowl twisted into a sadistic grin and he shivered in anticipation. Technically it was supposed to be a light spar, merely to see where one is at but…if things were to get heated and bones were broken, perhaps a life lost, could they blame him? A demented giggle squeezed its way past his lips; he was going to have such fun. He laid back and within minutes was asleep.

Something was going on with Naruto. Iruka was completely sure of that. What he wasn't sure of was, well…what exactly it was. At first he had only noticed the big changes. His taijutsu skills increasing by leaps and bounds, his increased agility, the fact he no longer made a spectacle of himself in class and his hair, which had been cut into one of the strangest haircuts he had ever seen. While it had once been a well cared for if spiky and untamable mess it had become a shoulder length, split-end ridden mass that would have completely eclipsed his face had Naruto not cut the right side of it brutally short. Recently though, he had begun to notice the smaller things. The way his eyes, once bright and lively, had dulled; the spark in them only coming back when he was fighting. The disturbing lack of emotions. The way his jacket (still a horrendous orange color) bulged in all the wrong places, the way Kiba wrinkled his nose every time he came close as if he had smelled something unpleasant, and the slender chain that disappeared under his shirt, only visible on the days he left his jacket partially unzipped.

Oddly enough it was the necklace that set Iruka off the most. Naruto had never really been one for jewelry, once telling Iruka that he would just do something clumsy and misplace it. But that chain seemed to be present everyday and the brunette chuunin was dying to find out what was attached to it.

Naruto was late to the academy the next day, opting to stop for a bowl of ramen rather than be present for roll call. He slunk quietly into the classroom twenty minutes late, ignored Iruka's rant (after all he had heard it a thousand times: 'how do you expect to become a ninja if you don't understand the importance of being on time? Entire mission could be ruined if you're not punctual…etc,etc) and slumped into a seat next to Kiba, smirking as the dog-nin leaned as far away as he could without tipping over. Apparently despite all the shampoos, soaps, and deodorants he used, his base scent (the smell of death) was still discernable. After taking a minute to enjoy Kiba's discomfort he tuned back into what Iruka was saying,

"Alright guys, as you know today is a sparring day. Now, I'm gonna read out the matches here to save us time since we only have the practice field booked for a little while. Our first match will be…Naruto versus Sasuke."

Naruto's face broke into a sadistic grin. Oh, today just kept getting better and better.

A/N: well hey guys, othersideofthemirror here. In case the fact has escaped you this is the re-write of Jashin's Devout. As you may have noticed this chapter is pretty similar to the original and that (in case you wonder or care) is because I didn't deviate from my original plot idea until around chapter 7.

Now, as this is a re-write of a story (a well-liked story I would like to believe) I would like your feedback as to what I could do better. Things that I could improve on, things you would like to see included, things you hope I will leave out, stuff along those lines.

Thanks for taking the time to read and once more, reviews and feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Goodbye all,

othersideofthemirror