Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical, it characters or anything else to do with Disney. What I do own is this fic, which is not connected with Disney in anyway, yadda yadda yadda.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes dreaming is all you have. One sided Troy/Ryan.
Author Note: My first High School Musical fanfic, so please be nice. I accept criticism in any form, but please note that any flaming hot reviews may end up on my livejournal, DA account or website for ridicule and what not.
This is SLASH, if you don't like don't read.
Finally, the idea for this came… From somewhere… Probably the crack in my bedroom wall or something. It's a little (okay a lot) angsty, but please read and enjoy, and comment.
Me-Ladie
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The Dreams
I dream becauseI want to...
The dreams began two years ago, stolen kisses, unsure groping, hidden away in a place that resides in the back of my mind. It's sort of clumsy, and yet the passion behind it is unmistakable, you can feel the chemistry alight in the air. You can tell we are in love, but then I wake up and reality is always harsh.
Sometimes I wish it was real, that every time I close my eyes I wouldn't see his face. His eyes, his hair his lips forming that perfect smile, I wish that his smile was for me and me alone, not for her or anyone else. For me.
I don't know why I dream, why I can't be content. It seems stupid that he would fall for me. I'm not handsome, not particularly bright, the one thing I thought I had was taken away from me. I am not worthy, but why can't I get rid of him.
I dream because Ihave to...
He fills me, my body aches for burning touches. Every time I enter a room I search for him, even when I am certain that he is not there. I'd give myself to him completely, mind, body and soul, if he only wanted me. Who could want me?
My sister, of course she doesn't, she overshadows me. She's glorious, like a divine entity or something poetic like that. She can sing, dance, and has a boyfriend who loves her to pieces, she doesn't need me. Her lackey, her follower, her shadow.
I know I can be patronising on occasions, but then so is Sharpay. I try to be nice, I try to be sincere, but who listens to you when it seems that all your ideas were implanted by your twin. But they're not, my sister and I fight a lot, we disagree on almost anything, from dance moves to song choices. She always wins of course; it is easier just to go along with her than see her in one of her moods.
Kelsi has also forgotten about me, new friends, and a boyfriend, everything perfect. When we were younger we used to trade lunches, she would trade her plain old peanut butter and jelly for whatever gourmet lunch our chef had packed. Now she won't even talk to me.
I just wish I could be seen as Kelsi, or Sharpay, maybe then he would notice me. I may not be perfect, but I try. Shouldn't that count for something? I try so hard, I push myself, and I fail. I always fail… Do I deserve this?
I because I need to...
Yes, of course I do. I am a spoilt rich brat who is wining because he didn't get what he wanted. Maybe if I wasn't so hopeless my father would treat me like his son. Maybe if I was athletic, played a sport, he would notice that I'm not just a drama geek. Maybe if I wasn't just standing on the side, watching you with your perfect life and your perfect girlfriend.
I wish I was perfect like her. Sometimes I even wish I was her. Then maybe you would look at me instead of through me, making me crack like a mirror shatters when it hits the ground. I feel broken, I have contemplated suicide, but I'm too cowardly to lift even a razor to my skin, if I die, my dreams would die with me.
So I dream on, letting them take over my life and drown out the pain. At night I experience a pure bliss that will get me through the day. And until he stops occupying my dreams I will live on, my love, my life, my Troy.
I dream to survive...
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So… What did you guys think? Please leave a review and let me know:D
Thanks!
Hmmn… My fics are usually longer than this… Well If I get inspired to write something else, Ideas are welcome, it will be longer.
Me-Ladie