Note: Well, here we are again yet another story concerning Athriel and Nariel. As the title suggests, this is a story about all of the things that Athriel missed while she was away. As a result she will not actually be in it until the very end, although she will be talked about. This story will follow the inhabitants of Imladris and Mirkwood throughout the 85yrs between Athriel's 'death' and her return. It will mostly concern Estel's childhood and his relationship with his brothers as well as the relationships between Legolas and Estel and later on between Legolas and Nariel. Basically it's all the things I missed out in the other stories. Yes, yes I know. If it wasn't for work, and David, Athriel would run my life.

The Missing Years

Chapter 1 – The Return

TA2933

They felt numb as they approached, as if their brains would not comprehend what they had seen. They couldn't break down yet, not while they still had a job to do. It was unthinkable, it was impossible and maybe if they put off dealing with it, it would turn out not to be true. It was a vain hope, but it kept them going long enough to get their charges home. Gilraen couldn't possibly understand the significance of what had happened today, and her son didn't really understand being so young. So they would do everything they could to delay their grief. Once they reached the privacy of their own rooms they could let go and let themselves realise exactly what they had lost.

That was made incredibly difficult when they finally reached the courtyard and spotted Erestor waiting for them on the steps. That wasn't exactly true, he wasn't waiting for them. He was waiting for Athriel, for his sister. But she wasn't with them. She would never travel with them again. She was lost and they would not meet again on these shores. They couldn't look at him as they dismounted. They couldn't do it, not yet. If they looked Erestor in the eye they would break down, and they couldn't not yet.

As they climbed the steps they avoided the advisor's gaze entirely, they had to get these mortals inside, take them to their father. He was expecting them, and he would know what to do. As they passed him Erestor stared stubbornly towards the horizon as if he expected her to come galloping round the corner any second. As they reached the main entrance they looked back once hoping for the same thing. But it didn't happen, she was gone and she wasn't coming back.

Erestor stood staring into the distance. He let the twin's pass him as if he had not seen them, but he had. He had watched them approach and they had been alone. Where was Athriel? No, this couldn't be happening. It was only a small errand. Any minute now she would ride up laughing and apologise for scaring him so much, any minute now.

Elrond ushered his sons into his office after sending Gilraen and her son to rest. She had told him all that she had seen, which hadn't been much, but he had understood enough to know what it meant. Once they were safely inside he locked the door. He didn't want to be interrupted. He knew that they had been putting off their reaction to their oldest friend's death. But they couldn't delay it forever. Once they admitted it to themselves, he wasn't sure what they would do. He knew himself how dangerous grief could be and he didn't want to lose them.

Sitting side by side across from their father, Elladan and Elrohir tried their hardest not to let any emotion show. Once the flood gates broke, that would be it. They knew what Elrond was waiting for, but neither of them was going to say it. It was their duty to inform him, as lord of the valley that one of his warriors had been killed. But they couldn't do it. They couldn't do it in the name of duty because she was so much more. They had to tell him that the sister of his chief advisor and old friend was dead. But they couldn't do that either, in the name of family, because she was so much more. She was everything and they couldn't do it.

Seeing their struggle Elrond took the decision away from them, he said it instead. "Is it true that Lady Athriel has fallen?" In unison they closed their eyes, as if they were trying to block out his words, but they nodded. Realising that they were not going to explain, the lord tried to piece together what had happened for himself. If they had been within the borders he would have known, but his sight did not extend far out with the valley. "Gilraen saw little of what happened, but from what she has told me I understand that she was shot with a poisoned arrow." They nodded again. "She fought on Ada" Elladan said before Elrohir continued. "She fought them injured so that we could escape" That was something they would have to live with, that their friend had died for them. "They were too many" And they would carry that image with them as well. "They overwhelmed her"

Elrond sat at his desk alone, for some time after he had sent his sons to rest. He was worried, deeply worried. They had not broken down in his office, as he had expected, but they had not seemed responsive at all. It was as if they had nothing left, that they were now completely numb and devoid of emotion. He was worried that now he would lose his sons. He was also worried about what he would say to Erestor. How was he going to tell his old friend that his sister was dead, that the sister he had raised as a daughter was not coming home? Then there was Glorfindel, Erestor's mate and another old friend. He had helped to raise Athriel. Well he would need to speak to the captain first; he would need his help if he was ever going to explain this to the councillor. Taking a deep breath Elrond stood and made his way towards the training grounds.

Glorfindel was on the training grounds with some of the new recruits when Elrond came to find him. He looked up and was surprised to see the lord of the valley striding towards him looking worried. He dismissed his students and joined Elrond half way across the field. "What has happened?" he asked concern obvious on his face. It took a lot to unsettle Elrond and Glorfindel knew he wasn't going to like whatever it was that had upset him. "I need you to come with me, there's... something happened..." There was a pause as he took a deep breath. Which scared Glorfindel even more. "It's Athriel. They were attacked near the borders. She didn't make it." Glorfindel's brain stuttered. This couldn't be happening. Athriel couldn't be dead, she couldn't. Hey couldn't imagine his life without him, their life without him. As long as he had lived with Erestor, Athriel had been there. Erestor, Valar Erestor. "Does Erestor know?" he asked. Erestor had intended to meet his sister in the courtyard like he always did.

Erestor stood watching the sky change colour as he felt Elrond stand beside him. "Erestor?..." A hand touched his shoulder but he shook it away. He didn't want to do this, but he couldn't stay like this forever. "She's dead isn't she? That's what you've come to tell me." Elrond grabbed his arm and tried to lead him inside. "Erestor... come inside and we can talk" But Erestor didn't want to come inside. If he went inside then it would become real. If he went inside he wouldn't be able to pretend that it was all a joke. He would have to acknowledge that she was really gone, that she wasn't hiding around the corner waiting to surprise him. "Erestor please." He collapsed onto the steps and cried with his head in his hands.

Glorfindel watched as Elrond stood beside Erestor. He kept back as long as he could as Elrond had suggested intending to get Erestor back inside before explaining what the Gwanûn had told him. But when his mate crumpled onto the floor Glorfindel couldn't hold back any longer. He ran down the steps and picked up the smaller elf, holding him to his chest. "I'm going to take him back to our rooms." Elrond nodded. "I'll get you both some tea, to help you sleep" Glorfindel nodded silently and started walking slowly back indoors.

Elladan and Elrohir sat side by side in their sitting room. They were at a loss; they didn't know what to do now. Usually when they returned home they would bathe, have something to eat and then meet Athriel for a glass of wine in front of the fire. They couldn't do that now. They would never do that again. There were so many things they would never do again, Too many to comprehend. Nothing would feel worth it without her anyway. Almost their entire lives Athriel had been there. They looked at the tea their father had sent. A sedative probably, so that they could get some rest. Together they leant forward and downed their cups in one swallow. Then they went to bed. As they climbed under the sheets they wondered how long it would be before they started to fade.