Death…is not to be feared

A/N: the past of rapture lies in his journal. Here you will learn where this psychotic wreck of a stallion came from. I will probably combine the other story with this.

Investigators everywhere. Splintered wood covered in blood splattered the wall. Brain matter and stomach acid's filled a bowl. Things more horrific than ever imagined happened here. The house across the way held the stallion responsible and the victims. There were six mares and a foal involved in this…that were alive at least.

"Uh…. Chief?" A small voice said from behind me. I turned to find it was one of the officers helping in the case. "I think I found something you might like…" like? What can you like about this situation?

"What is it flipwing?" I asked. I walked over and he nodded towards a small nightstand. It looked nice for a bedroom. Mahogany maybe, it went untouched from the battle/bloodbath. At first I didn't understand what was so special about it until I noticed the item placed on the surface.

It was a small note book that was opened to the first page. It looked old and crusty. The pages were a tan color with a small inscription on the first.

"1867!" I exclaimed obviously overreacting. Some more officers came to see what the fuss was about and stopped to read it. There was light muttering and arguing coming from the group.

"What is it silver?" one of them asked me. I shrugged and moved towards it. I picked it up and read the front.

"Rapture R. …. Isn't that the suspect?" they all nodded. "Then why is it dated 1867? He's only seventeen!" The suspect was a young stallion with black fur and a gray mane. As far as we knew he was an orphan. "Sh-should I read it?" I asked, looking clearly confused to the seven other officers…..nopony answered. I looked down at it and flipped to the first entry in the journal.

And I began to read out loud.

May 16, 1867 1:56 P.M.

Mom got me a note book! It's really cool cuz' I've always wanted one! Were really low on cash and paper is expensive right now. So I was surprised when I woke up and found this on my night stand. It even has my name on it! I turned twelve today so were going into town for dinner. Oh! We're leaving! Gtg!

May 17, 167 7:21 A.M.

I had a fight with gerdur earlier…. He said something about my dad. Gerdur is my step-brother. We fight a lot over little things. Like today he said he missed his dad, and I said I never saw my dad, and he blew up and started "telling" me why. He said he murdered ponies, and that he abused me and my mom when I was young. I don't believe him of course. How can anypony be that heartless? Well gota get in school.

5:43 P.M.

I found a cute little kitten. It was a maincoon. I was curious so I played with it for a while. We ran around and jumped and it ran off a short drop off. I didn't want to look but curiosity got the better of me. I eased towards the edge and looked over.

It had its small body impaled on a shard of metal. It's guts running up the length of it, A pool of blood was collecting at the bottom of the shard and dripping into a small swamp just behind scene. I stared blankly, no emotion towards the horror before me. I sighed shakily and walked away. When I got home gerdur got on me about being late. He was brushing his blue, turquoise mane. The 36 on his flank slightly covered by his bag and his horn pulsing with magic as it filled the bag.

Then she walked in, Wave. She was gerdur's marefreind. She had a black coat similar to mine but her hair had a single blue stripe between two black. Her cutie mark was a tidal wave to represent her influence over water. Her eyes were icy blue. She didn't mind me. Actually her and I spend some time together sometimes. She taught me to crotchet a couple days ago.

After they left I laid down on the couch for a while before starting the dishes. Mom asked me to do it a lot because she often isn't home on nights.

I was finishing putting the silverware away when I came across a butcher knife. I saw my reflection in the cleaned metal. My purple eye's gleaming off of the shine. I looked over at my school bag. There was this colt that would hit me and follow me after school. Maybe I could scare him away?

I slid it in the bag and finished.

May 19, 1867 6:34 P.M.

I had a snack today, Wait that's not important. Well I guess it is. Anyway I was eating some celery after school and I noticed the colt approaching with a cynical grin on his muzzle. He walked until he was right over me.

I got up and walked away to try and avoid him but as usual he followed. He hit me and tripped me as I walked. He knew it annoyed me, but I tried no to show it. I noticed the little ledge where the kitten met its fate up ahead. I tried to avoid it but he noticed this and pushed me towards it. By the time he had me at the ledge I was terrified. I didn't want to fall. He pushed me teasing, and hitting, when finally I reached into my bag to grab the knife. He was moving forward to push and when my hoof came out it lodged into his skull.

I panicked and ended up pushing it further. Blood was spurting onto my hoof and all over the ground. I let go and rolled him towards the ledge. I was under the understanding Nopony could know, Nopony. I pushed him and slid the knife back in my bag. After cleaning the blood of the ground I headed home. I took a shower before gerdur arrived so there would be no trace. When he got back I had already gotten in bed. As I sat there in silence I thought about the feeling of the resistance against the blade as it passed through, when it went further and the feeling of cracking the bone. It gave me a kind of energy I didn't want, but felt amazing. Why did it feel so good? Am I crazy? No im fine. It's just the feeling of power. Something everypony feels when something like this happens. But still. It must stay UN heard of. I must keep this under wraps.