A/N: Inspired by the quote "Your mother was there for me when no one else was… She had a way of seeing the beauty in others, even at, perhaps, most especially, when they could not see it themselves" by Remus Lupin, PoA. Set in Second Year, because that's canonically when the boys found out about Remus' lycanthropy.
Remus was sitting under his favourite large willow overlooking the lake and the giant squid, which was dozing happily in the weak sunlight. A large book was resting in Remus' lap, but had remained untouched for quite some time. His mind was far too troubled to focus on something as boring as History of Magic.
Today marked two days since the full moon, and his roommates – James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew – hadn't said a word to him since his return from 'visiting his sick mother' yesterday morning. Remus hadn't been able to find them at breakfast and, during classes, they seemed to exclude him.
Remus felt himself slipping into a depressed sort of state without his cheerful acquaintances. They weren't quite friends; Remus firmly believed that friends did not keep secrets from each other, and Remus had been hiding quite a big secret from them, after all.
"All alone, are we?"
An amused voice rang across the calm grounds; Remus recognised it as Lily Evans. He turned and gave her a weak grin, shifting into a more comfortable position on the grass.
"Seems like it. I'd almost say I've been ditched!" Remus said airily, though deep down, he wondered if that was true. Had his worst fears finally been realised?
Lily plonked herself down beside him, crossing her legs under herself. "I think I saw Sirius in the Library," she said uselessly. "But that was a while ago now."
Remus shrugged. "If they wanted to talk to me, they'd find me."
Lily appraised Remus carefully, her eyes roaming across his face and over his tattered robes. "You're looking ill, Remus," she said. "Perhaps you ought to go to the Hospital Wing?"
"No," he said immediately. "I'm fine. Just… my mother, you know…"
Remus' feeble excuse faded from his lips when he noticed Lily's doubtful look. "It's contagious," Remus added firmly. Lily chuckled.
"Spare me, Remus," she smiled. "I know an outcast when I see one."
Remus tried his best to not look guilty. "I'll try not to be offended by that, Lily, but that was quite rude."
Lily smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Remus. But you're sitting next to a muggleborn. I know what it's like to be ashamed of something you can't change."
"What are you saying, Lily?"
Leaning forward with an earnest expression on her face, Lily didn't have a trace of pity in her voice when she spoke. "I'm saying that, despite your unfortunate circumstances, to me you are still Remus Lupin. You're still clever, and witty, and friendly. I'll always be your friend. And…" with a brief hesitation, Lily gathered all of her courage. "It doesn't take a genius to realise you're always gone on the full moon."
Shocked, Remus could only whisper, "Please don't tell anyone."
"I would never do such a thing."
The pair sat in companionable silence for a while, the wheels in Lily's head turning furiously. Remus attempted to read but, after rereading the same line for the fifth time and still not having any idea about what it actually said, gave up and observed the lake.
"They don't know, do they?" Lily asked softly. Remus shook his head.
"No one does. You're the first to have guessed. I'm sure others have -" Here, he laughed bitterly – "But no one is brave enough to come confront me about it, I suppose."
"They haven't guessed," Lily said immediately. Though Remus knew she had no way of knowing that for sure, she put his fears to rest. "And I only worked it out because I'm clever," she bragged. Remus let out a chuckle.
"I know I need to tell them," Remus admitted quietly. "But I'm afraid."
"You're an idiot for that," Lily said honestly. "They're your friends. Friends are meant to help you through rough times. Stick with you through thick and thin. Get you out of tight spots. You know, all that marriage stuff, but without the commitment," Lily giggled. "What else are friends for?"
Remus didn't reply for he was too busy thinking about all the times the four of them had been caught out after hours, on their way to the kitchens… sneaking out to provoke Peeves… to prank Filch…
Each and every time, they had talked their way out of serious trouble.
Out of a tight spot, so to speak. Merlin, Lily was right.
The two Gryffindors exchanged small smiles before Lily sighed. "I have to go meet Mary now, but you can sit with us at dinner if you like," she offered. Remus shrugged in response but was pleased nonetheless.
"Thanks, Lily."
Lily came across James, Sirius and Peter on her way to the Great Hall. The three were huddled together, whispering furiously about who knew what (Lily knew – it was probably Remus). A slight anger building up in the pit of her stomach, Lily called out to them.
They paused uncertainly on the stairwell, moving to the side to allow other students to pass. Lily marched up to the three and crossed her arms over her chest.
"And where is Remus?" Lily demanded.
At least they had the grace to look slightly guilty.
"We don't know," Sirius said eventually. "Why, do you?"
"Yes, of course I know where he is," Lily bluffed. "Because I am his friend, and friends know these things."
This comment made James feel angry, but he remained silent. Sirius was the one speaking.
"You don't know what you're talking about, Evans."
"Don't I?" she replied dangerously. "See, I happened to see Remus all alone today – and yesterday! -on several occasions, looking very ill and tired and just needing someone to be there for him. It appeared that his three best friends in the entire world had ditched him immediately after he had gone to see his very sick mother, which is a tragic experience itself, but then to come back to Hogwarts to have his friends practically ignore him –"
"We haven't been ignoring him," James interjected, but Lily held up her hand to stop him from speaking.
"And if that isn't bad enough, Remus already feels different from everybody else without his supposed friends excluding him too! Remus is still a kind, loyal, intelligent person regardless of his strange circumstances! Surely you three realise that; even I don't think you're that dense."
The three boys looked at each other, and it seemed they all agreed on something. "Alright, Evans," James said eventually, his hazel eyes boring into her own. "What do you suggest we do?"
"Sit with him at dinner," Lily commanded, "And for God's sake, be nice. Talk, or whatever you boys do. Friends are supposed to be there for each other and you're doing a rubbish job at it. But, this is officially none of my business anymore. Although," she added with emphasis, "I will be very cross if I see Remus alone at all tonight."
With that resounding comment, Lily flounced away.
"She's got a temper, hasn't she?"
"Shut up, Peter."
Remus was sitting at his usual place at the Gryffindor table for dinner, precisely three quarters down the length of the table, closer to the door. He was feeling quite sullen and didn't want to sit with anyone. He had every intention of finishing eating as quickly as possible, retiring up to his dormitory, and falling asleep with a good book. Preferably before he would have to encounter the awkwardness he had already associated with his dorm mates. Despite Lily's encouraging words, he wasn't sure his mates would be thinking the same way.
Yes, Remus wanted to be alone. He was very ready to tell whoever had the nerve to sit beside him, too. Gathering his best angry face, he looked up to see a mess of black hair.
"Hi, Remus," James said easily, helping himself to a decent helping of food. Sirius and Peter appeared on the other side of the table, following James' example. "Let's talk after dinner, yeah?"
Remus was curious as to what they would actually want to talk about – but wasn't stupid enough to imagine it had nothing to do with his absences – and agreed. Lily was right, as she usually is: they were his friends, and friends stuck together through thick and thin.
Lily hadn't been wrong yet.
Throughout dinner, Remus kept expecting an awkward lull in conversation, or a strange silence whenever he spoke up, but everything appeared to be back to normal. It was like falling back into an easy routine, with these three. Their friendship felt nice.
It was then, at that very moment, Remus decided he would tell his secret. He owed that much to his fellow Gryffindors. Regardless of the outcome of tonight's confrontation (he was sure it would be nothing less) Remus would spill.
Satisfied with his decision, grinning to himself, he accidentally made eye contact with Lily who was sitting a few seats away from him. She smiled encouragingly back.
Her support was comforting, to say the least.
The four of them were sitting on the edges of Peter and James' beds, unsure what to say. They all wanted to say something, of course… it was the what that was the tricky part.
"Remus," James began, clearing his throat self-consciously. He knew it was time to speak. The entire room seemed to sigh with relief at this fact. "We need to tell you something."
"So do I," Remus agreed, but allowed James to continue. However, he seemed lost for words now.
Sirius intervened. "Actually, we want to ask you something," he corrected. With piercing eyes, Sirius leaned forward and rested his face in his hands. "Where do you go every month?"
Remus' immediate reaction was to say 'the whomping willow' or 'to see my mother' – honesty versus ingrained lies – but Remus wasn't a marauder for nothing, and decided to have a bit of fun.
"Where do you think I go?" Remus countered, resulting in a scowl from both Sirius and James.
"To see your mother?" Peter guessed, keen to get a word in. Sirius whacked him over the head.
"Alright, you've had your chance to be honest," James said firmly. "Our turn. We know where you go every month."
Remus could only stare as the others watched him carefully. Deep down inside, perhaps he knew that this was coming. Perhaps he just didn't want to admit it.
"We followed you," Sirius added, perhaps proudly.
"A deadly decision, that."
"We discovered," Peter whispered.
After another moment of tense silence, Remus thought he knew what was going to happen next. He decided to beat them to it, if for nothing else than to avoid more awkwardness. Remus clapped his hands together once. "Well? What now? Do you want me to pack up and leave? I can sleep somewhere other than our dormitory, you know. If you don't feel safe –"
"Remus," James tried to interject, but Remus ignored him.
"…If you don't feel safe, Dumbledore knows my condition" (Here, Sirius snorted and muttered about "the crazy nutter") "And we can work out other arrangements."
"Remus," James said more firmly, yet it fell upon deaf ears yet again.
"I could leave Hogwarts altogether, of course. It's not like I haven't been expecting it, really."
"Moony, shut up!" Sirius roared at last. James and Peter shot him odd looks at the nickname. "We don't want you to leave!"
Remus looked curiously at Sirius, who seemed a bit impressed with himself. Whether that was because of the nickname, or because of the volume of his voice, Remus didn't know.
"No? Why not? I'm classified as a highly dangerous – XXXXX actually – beast."
"Because you're our mate," James said softly, and Peter nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
What?
"But… I hid this from you. Friends don't have secrets," Remus argued half-heartedly. He couldn't believe his luck – Lily was right, of course – they still wanted to be friends with him.
Why?
Sirius snorted at Remus' idiotic statement. "'Course they do, idiot. Everyone has secrets. Did you know that, for instance, I tripped Snape down the stairs, causing him to break his awfully unmissable nose, and blamed that Hufflepuff Joanna?"
"Yes," Remus deadpanned. Sirius frowned.
"Okay, how about: when I was about six years old, my mother and father – "
James was sure he didn't want to hear the rest. "Stop it, Sirius! No one wants to know where that was going!" Sirius looked crestfallen, but shut up all the same. "The point is, Remus, you're our mate. And Evans couldn't have been more clear –"
"Wait, Lily talked to you?" Remus interrupted. Sirius smirked.
"Just another secret of ours, buddy," he said happily, but Remus ignored him.
"Yelled at us, more like," Peter admitted. "She was angry with us for not talking to you."
Telling himself that he would have a stern chat to Lily later, Remus returned to the matter at hand. "You're sure you're okay being friends with a werewolf?" he asked hesitantly.
"Should be quite an experience," Sirius said.
"Of course we're sure," Peter added.
"And we're going to help you in any way we can," James said with a sense of finality.
"There's no cure," Remus said sullenly.
"Who says anything about a cure? There are a million ways to help someone. We could… help you through the process, or something," James offered unsurely, but Remus immediately turned down the offer.
"It's too dangerous," he said. "I'd turn you or kill you. To be honest, I'm not sure which fate is worse."
"You'd kill us if we were humans?" Sirius clarified, a brilliant idea forming in his mind. Remus nodded glumly. "Alright, then we just won't be humans!"
James glanced at him as though he were mad. "Sorry to break it to you, Sirius, but we can't just change what species we…" he trailed off as he caught on. Sirius' grin widened. "Let's become animagi!"
Remus was totally against the idea ("It's illegal!"), and because Peter didn't even know what an animagus was, he was against it too. However, due to persuasion from James and Sirius, and the curiosity to know his animal form, he finally agreed.
Groaning, Remus hid his face in his hands. "I'm going to get you all thrown in jail," he moaned. The other three laughed at him.
"What is it the muggles say?" Sirius asked. "A friend gets you out of jail, but best friends are in the cell with you?"
Remus' heart soared. Best friends. Something he never thought he'd have. Suddenly, Remus didn't feel like so much of an outcast, and he made sure to thank Lily the next day for her encouragement and honesty.
In later years, Remus would reflect on how ironic and poetic it was that – since it was Lily who truly ensured the marauders' friendship – they often were the bane of her existence.
But at the present, Remus was overjoyed to know that he had three brilliant friends by his side, who would always stick with him through thick and thin. Remus was happier than he'd ever been to know that the other marauders would always be there for him, and he for them.