I Know You Better Than You Think I Do
Summary: To Naruto, Sasuke was everything. To bad losing everything was just a hit by a car away. Now that Sasuke has almost no memory of his previous life, can the two wedded lovers come to terms with the fact that the old Sasuke won't be coming back? NaruSasu
Warnings: Yaoi, boyxboy, temporary one-sided love, fake love, nudity, maybe future lemon, memory loss, OOC-ness (For a reason), drama, blah, blah, blah. That seems to be the main stuff. May add more later.
I apollogize, no grammar/spell check. If you notice anything, please inform me so I can fix it. Not Beta-ed, but since when did I have a beta reader?
If Sasuke says something and it's written like so: "Insert quote here" He is saying something that either he had said or Naruto had told him in the past.
A/n: No, I'm not abandoning Special Delivery. I just wanted to get this out before I forgot it. Well, here it is!
Naruto drew a deep breath into his lungs that were far to tired to do anything. Naruto's leg bounced almost violently with the movement of his foot. Naruto sighed and looked off to his right; families were sitting in the chairs set there, watching whatever was playing on the television currently. Some children were laughing at whatever rediculously witty remark was made by the actors on the box that seemed to brain wash everyone. Naruto sighed again, looking now at the floor, the tiles that were spotless, clean, and definately not slippery. Naruto wringed his hands, combed them through his unruly blond spikes, grabbed his bouncing leg, fumbled with his ring, only to start the cycle over again. Naruto couldn't seem to settle his mind on one thing; everything was coming into his head. Everything. Everything was a bad subject. Naruto prefered nothing; and then there was nothing but the rising fear in his chest, the smell of sterile everythings, the pain in his throat, the unshed tears behind his eyes. Naruto chewed his bottom lip continuously, until they were red and raw. He switched to chewing the insides of his cheeks, which worked until they, too, were out of commission. The blond began to chew his fingernails as a substitute. A hand fell to rest on Naruto's right leg, causing Naruto to look at said hand's owner.
"Naruto."
Naruto looked at her, his gaze unwavering until he hung his head and sighed. His leg stopped bouncing, all his concentration going into breathing. Just breathing, nothing else. Breathing was a good topic; everything was not. Everything was currently taboo. Taboo, taboo, taboo. No everything. No. None of that. The door leading to outside opened, some other family entering. Naruto looked up at them; they were pretty normal, what with their two children, one boy and one girl, and then two parents. Naruto watched the children who looked psyched to be there. Naruto wondered about that; were hospitals that great? Naruto continued to watch the children until he was shot a dirty look from their mother. Naruto looked down at the ground again, then at the ceiling; the strain on his neck hurt but he liked the pain, secretly wanting more. Just more pain, more and more and more, until this was all over and they could go home. Naruto's eyes followed the designs on the ceiling tiles, the grey dots forming this and that. He found himself if the people who made the tiles made the designs on purpose. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't. Or maybe there was more of the human imagination left than Naruto gave people credit for. The designs on the tiles spoke to Naruto, popped out and twirled and breathed and lived. It seemed as if there was everything up there, willing to suck Naruto in and never spit him out.
There's that everything subject again. Bad, bad. Taboo.
The door opened again and in came more people. Naruto didn't bother sparing them a glance as his yes scanned the ceiling one more time before finding the television. Naruto witnessed a kiss and upon feeling a painfully harsh tug at his heart decided that the television could go on without him watching. He felt a hand on his leg again; his eyes met green ones.
"Naruto."
Naruto sighed.
"Sakura..."
Naruto's voice was raspy and hoarse due to the immense amounts of crying fits that he had gone through. A door opened, this one entering a hallway off to the side, and a nurse emerged. Naruto was ready to get up out of his seat, only to be disappointed that she called someone else. Naruto sighed and looked at Sakura. Sakura's pink hair was messy, strands stiking out here and there. Sakura's eyes wandered around the room, just as Naruto's had been previously; the bags under her eyes made her look tired and ill. She seemed to have a permenant frown plastered onto her face, just like...
...no. No. Don't even think it. Taboo, taboo, taboo. Even more taboo than everything.
Naruto looked at the people in the waiting room, then to the people behind the help desk. Naruto sighed. He seemed so trapped, confined to his chair, chained to the wall, the floor, to everything. Everything hurt, and of course it did. Everything was never nice. Everything was also taboo. Naruto stood up and paced back and forth. Naruto ran his hands through the hair once again, exhaling. He felt like some great weight was pressed against his chest, preventing him from breathing correctly. Tears streamed down Naruto's face as he walked back and forth, back and forth. Naruto liked the subject; back and forth, back and forth. It was simple, it didn't hurt so much, and it was easy to think about. Back and forth, back and forth. One foot in front of the other.
"Naruto."
Naruto looked at his female friend.
"What?"
Naruto didn't mean for it to come out as harshly as it did. He seemed to spit it at her, poisonous venom from his lips. Naruto sighed.
"I didn't mean for it to come out like that."
"I know. Just sit down, it's not a soap opera."
Naruto looked at Sakura increduously. Sakura sighed.
"I don't mean that this isn't a major thing. It is, Naruto, and you should be worried. But sit down, you'll only drive yourself crazy."
"What the hell, Sakura!"
Naruto just exploded, and without his consent he took it out on Sakura, who was only there to help.
"I could lose everything right now. Everything is in that room, on that bed, going through whatever the hell he's going through. He might as well die here, Sakura. Do you realize that? Do you know what I'd do without him? Nothing. Nothing! I get nothing from everything. And here you are telling me that I'm crazy for being worried? Maybe I shoudl show you what worried is, you-" Naruto cut himself off as he noticed the looks he was getting from the other people in the waiting room. Naruto looked at Sakura; the woman looked wounded and tired, but over all she looked worried and sympathetic.
"Naruto, he's my friend. I'm worried, too."
Naruto held her gaze, her eyes boring into Naruto. Not the same as his eyes did. His eyes went so far down that it scared Naruto. Naruto sighed, defeated. He deflated onto his chair, chained and confined once again. Naruto sighed. Time went on and on and on. Naruto looked to his left at the little end table next to him; magazines rested on it. He lifted one and began to read it.
People entered and exited, nurses came and called people, children laughed, elderly cried, and within the walls, under that roof, people died, people were diagnosed with cancer, people were brought back to life, people returned to their families. People frowned and people smiled. And then there were some, like Naruto, who waited desperately for the nurse to come and take them away, tell them the news. Make the uncertainty go away. It was then, when you got the news, that was when they either make you or break you.
"Naruto Uzumaki."
Naruto almost didn't hear it, looking over the magazine in disbelief. He hesitantly stood, his legs threatening to betray him and buckle. Naruto walked over to the nurse, the walk seemed to take so many years to complete, so, so many years. Now that Naruto stood next to the nurse, he wasn't sure that hearing the news would be any better than the uncertainty that it followed.
"The doctor would like to speak to you."
Naruto's heart sunk, just like that. He got this sick feeling, as if he wanted to puke out all his internal organs onto the floor. He felt like he wanted to take his heart out and maybe have a few harsh words with it. Or maybe his brain; he wasn't sure anymore. All he knew was that when the doctor wanted to talk with you privately it was always bad news. Naruto hoped that all of his friends were wrong and had exaggerated the percentage. But as Naruto followed the nurse though the halls into a room, Naruto couldn't have felt more certain that his life was over. The doctor greeted Naruto and shook his hand. Naruto didn't notice anything that was going on as the doctor asked him questions.
"Are you listening?"
"Huh?" Naruto looked at the doctor, really looked. The man had white hair, though he looked young. One of his eyes was coloured differently than the other, a scar going through it. He wore a surgical mask over his face, which made Naruto wonder what it looked like underneath. The doctor sighed.
"I am Dr. Kakashi Hatake, I looked over your husband, Sasuke Uzumaki."
Naruto's throat caught at hearing his lover's name.
"Y-yeah... I-I'm listening..."
The doctor sighed.
"Look, Mr. Uzumaki-"
"Naruto. Just Naruto, please. Mr. Uzumaki makes me feel old." Naruto gave a sort of laugh that sounded so saturated in misery that it came out to be more of a choked sob than anything else.
"I have some... bad news to tell you."
Naruto had already had the inkling that it was bad news, but hearing that from the doctor's lips made Naruto shake with fear. He felt even sicker than before, so scared, so scared...
"When he got hit... well..." Dr. Hatake cleared his throat and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, but he's got a 99.9% chance of not pulling through."
Naruto's eyes widened considerably.
"What?"
"He's most likely not going to make it. I'm very sorry. I really am."
And just like that, everything was gone. Everything, that taboo subject. Gone. Obliterated. Naruto couldn't breathe.
"W-what?" He repeated the question; his mind couldn't grasp the concept as his brain delved deeper and deeper still into denial.
"Look, we'll do everything in our power to see to it that he lives. We will try everything we can for him, we're not going to give up on him. But he needs hope; you believe in us and he may pull through."
"I'm not religious." Naruto stated bluntly. "I don't hope."
"Well, you should start. Who knows; maybe it'll save you one day."
"How's he holding up?"
"Holding up? You can barely call it that."
"Shut up, he's trying."
The three friends sighed. Shikamaru, Ino, and Sakura sat on the floor in the living room of Naruto's house. They exchanged worried glances between each other as Naruto's sobs got louder. Sakura sighed.
"I don't know what to do; I've never been through something like this. I really wish I could help..." Sakura trailed off, looking at the door of his bedroom.
"Look, neither have I. Just tell him that you're sorry for his loss and that he'll pull through." Ino suggested.
"No, Ino. That generic and stupid. It never really helps anyone." Shikamaru said. He looked at Sakura, placced a hand on her shoulder. "No matter how troublesome this can be, Naruto is a tough guy. He can handle this."
"Sasuke always said that... he was... more sensitive than he s-seemed." Ino said, her gaze locked on the floor. She gulped after she finished, a tear trailing down her cheek. "I can't believe he won't come back..."
"Hey, they said maybe. Just hold onto that. He could come back." Shikamaru reminded them.
"I hope..." Sakura said, her gaze never wondering from Naruto's door.
Sakura entered the house; silence greeted her ears. Complete silence, so silent that her ears rang from the lack of sound. Sakura's eyes grew slightly wider; Naruto was rarely quiet these days.
"Hello?" Sakura called out into the dark house.
Sasuke had been in the hospital for months now, dying and in a coma. Naruto hadn't gotten over it yet. Sakura walked through the house up to Naruto's bedroom door, her footsteps creating sound that her ears practically clinged to to block out the deafening silence. Sakura opened his door cautiously, just a crack. She peered into the room.
"Hello?"
"What." Was the raspy reply Sakura got. Sakura sighed in relief.
"Okay, just making sure you were ali-um..." Sakura stopped herself from saying 'alive'. The pink haired girl walked over to the blond who was sitting on his bed, peering out the window. Sakura sat down behind him on the bed, her arms wrapping around his broad shoulders. Naruto tensed.
"Naruto, I know it's hard. You're doing so well; I'm proud of you. And I'm sure he would be, too."
Naruto remained silent.
"Naruto, he wouldn't want you to suffer. You know that better than I do."
Naruto remained silent still. He raised a thin, frail hand up to lay it on Sakura's. Sakura smiled at this, at least he wasn't crawling into his shell again.
"You should eat something. How long has it been since you last ate? Let's get you something to eat, something to drink, and maybe you should consider taking a nap, you look tired. Naruto? Do you want something to eat?"
Naruto slowly shook his head, as if it took much effort to do so.
"...Naruto, you really should eat." Sakura removed her arms from Naruto, Naruto's hand falling on his lap. She manuvered so she sat next to Naruto.
"Why haven't you given up on me yet...?" Naruto asked quietly. The question took Sakura by surprise.
"Why would I? You're my friend, and I won't leave you in your time of need, Naruto. Why, would you give up on me?"
Naruto remained silent. Sakura sighed. "Naruto, you know I love you very, very much. I love both of you, and I hate to see you suffer. Let's get you something to eat and some sunlight. I think it would do you good."
Naruto's eyes moved slowly, traveling across the carpeted floor until he looked at Sakura. Sakura almost wanted to cry, had almost actually cried. Naruto's vibrant blue eyes were paler somehow, glassed over, dead. The overly cheerful blue orbs were dead, completely dead. The bags under Naruto's eyes were major, his face looked so thin from lack of food. He was pale; probably coming down with something. Or was it the dehydration? Sakura wasn't sure, she really wasn't. But she knew that Naruto needed his friends right now, and that she would help Naruto get better.
"You hear anything from the doctor yet, Naruto?"
"No."
"Oh. Well, you'll hear from them sooner or later." Ino reassured him. She smiled at Naruto, earning a strained smile in response.
"Hello again. How is everything going?" The waitress smiled at the people at their table.
"Fine." Sakura replied.
"Good." The waitress seemed to be younger, maybe around 20 or so, with brunette hair pulled into two buns on each side of her head. Her dark brown eyes seemed to shine with happiness; almost polar opposite of Naruto. "Would any of you like dessert?"
"Um... I don't. How about you, Shikamaru?" Sakura asked.
"No, thank you."
"What, you on a diet?" Ino teased.
"No, too troublesome."
"Well, I'm not. I would like the this thing." Ino pointed at it on her menu.
"Okay." The waitress jotted it down. "Anyone else?" She asked as she looked up.
"Yes please." Chouji answered.
"Of course you want dessert." Lee said, rolling his eyes.
"What would you like?"
"The brownie and ice cream thing."
"Okay." She jotted it down.
"How about you, Neji?" Ino asked.
"No, thank you."
"Lee?"
"No."
"How about you, Naruto?"
All eyes turned towards Naruto. Naruto looked up at them. Naruto inhaled deeply and sighed.
"Fine."
"That's the spirit, my youthfull friend!" Lee exclaimed. Everyone at the table began to clap and cheer him on. The waitress smiled at the blond. Naruto sighed.
"I just want some vanilla ice cream."
"Okay. I'll go get those orders in." The waitress left the table. Lee patted Naruto's back rather enthusiastically.
"You are adventurous, my friend."
"So I am." Naruto replied, chuckling.
"Is that a smile I see?" Ino asked, smiling.
"Maybe it is." Naruto answered. He busted out into laughter, bringing the whole table with him down into happiness.
"Hello, Naruto Uzumaki?"
"Yes, this is him."
"Can you come down to the hospital? The doctor would like to speak to you."
Naruto practically choked on the air he was breathing.
"O-okay." He managed to choke out in a squeak.
Naruto hung up the phone, turning to his small circle of friends on his floor. They looked at him expectantly.
"The doctor wants to speak to me."
The friends all exchanged glances before they stood up to exit the house, piling into their cars.
During the drive Naruto was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his nuckles turned white with the pressure. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear what the doctor wanted to say. Would Sasuke be okay after all? Or... Naruto didn't even want to consider that possibility.
Back where we started. Naruto sat in the chair, glancing around the room, wringing his hands, his leg bouncing. He was waiting, desperately waiting to be called back. A nurse entered the waiting room.
"Naruto Uzumaki?"
Naruto jumped out of his chair even before she had finished saying his name. Naruto followed the nurse into the hallway, practically walking on her heels. He just wanted to get this over, didn't want to feel this dread that spread like the plague in his chest. He wanted it all gone, he wanted to know that his Sasuke had lived and that he'd come home with him. Naruto didn't want to be alone anymore.
But what if he hadn't made it...?
They entered a room, where Dr. Hatake was standing with his back faced toward them. He turned around upon hearing the door open. Naruto walked up to him quickly.
"What? What? Is he okay? Did he make it?"
"Naruto, I wanted to call you here to tell you in person."
Naruto's heart sank at the words. Was that a bad thing? He wasn't sure; he never was sure anymore.
"He made it."
Naruto's eyes widened.
"R-really?"
"Yes. Now, I have to warn you, he has... he doesn't remember a whole lot."
"That's alright!" Naruto spit out.
"What I'm saying is that he lost most of his memories."
"I don't mind! I don't mind. I just want him back." Naruto had almost never felt happier in his life, hearing the news, gripping onto his wedding ring.
"I'm just saying, prepare for the worst."
Naruto exited the room, following the nurse out into the waiting room. His friends all looked up at him and smiled.
"We can see him." Naruto said. His friends stood.
"He's alright?" Sakura asked.
"Yes, he's alright. They said that he doesn't remember much, but that's fine." Naruto replied, excitement in his voice. They followed the nurse into the raven's room. He was sitting up on his bed, arms crossed across his chest. He looked at them as they came in.
"Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed. He made his way over to Sasuke, embracing the younger man, pulling him against him. Sasuke's expression changed from one of surprise to utter confusion. Naruto let go of his, holding him at arm's length.
"Are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Naruto asked. Sasuke stared blankly at him.
"Who are you?"
A/n: Mwahahaha! I'm evil.
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