ImPORTANT NOTE:
Hi, guys! Long time, no post. I really tried hard to get this out as soon as I could, but life has just gotten so busy. Between Little KNeu growing like a weed (one year old on June 7th!), and moving out of this crap apartment, I've been working on this during every spare second I had. I'm pretty proud of how far I managed to get so far, and I'm pretty satisfied with the events that will unfold in this story. It's such a different direction, I believe my wonderful readers will approve as well.
ANYWAY!
I'm starting this story with a copy/paste from the end of chapter five and the start of chapter six of my story The Gift of Misfortune - Re-Vamped. I did take out the less relevant portions to save space (this chapter will be my longest chapter of the story), leaving in pieces that needed to be focused on. Just in case anyone was confused as to exactly where I'll be starting this story off. I suppose this story can be a stand-alone, but I also must suggest anyone new to go back and read through my The Gift - Re-Vamped series. It would make more sense that way.
ReMINDER! READ THIS PART!
As with every single one of my other stories, this story is rated 'M' for violence, language, adult themes, and mentions/mild descriptions of abuse. If you're not old enough to read 'M' material, I highly recommend backing out now.
With that said, it's time for the..
DiSCLAIMER!
I don't own anything Twilight related. I only own the parts and people you don't recognize from SM's works. All of my characters aren't based on any real people, blah blah blah. They might drive me crazy with the bickering, but they're not real (haha...).
I believe that's all.. So without further delay..
ONWARD!
Chapter One
The ride back started quiet. Both of us silent, until I thought of something I wanted to ask.
"You say you can see the future too?" I asked quietly, looking over at her. She smiled a little, nodding, "Can you tell where he's taking me?" It was such an odd thing to consider, but I'd apparently been doing it without my knowledge.
"It's difficult to see you." She answered, "Which is why I haven't been able to see anything very specific." I nodded a little, "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on by what I have seen, though."
"Why can't you see me?" I asked, frowning.
"I didn't say I couldn't." She replied, "Just that it's difficult. I do know that we'll be friends for a long time, so don't worry about that." I liked that thought.
True to her word, she pulled to a stop outside the house, and there was no sign of Jack home yet in the fading evening light. It got dark quickly when the clouds were this thick. She sighed, turning off the car, her smile long gone. Her eyes closed for a few seconds before she opened them. As if this really bothered her.
I sighed in relief, looking over at her. I was eased the second I noticed that Jack was still gone. He wouldn't know anything about me leaving the house, and that made me feel better, until I noticed her expression.
"What is it?" I had to ask, "What's wrong?"
"I don't want to leave you here." She laughed, but the sound definitely wasn't a happy one. She looked over at me, and I finally saw her emotion, "I feel like I'm tossing you to the wolves."
"I'll be okay." I mumbled, trying to ease her, "I always am."
"Just be truthful with me, Leandra." She almost plead, "I'm right, aren't I?"
I hesitated for about a minute, before I took a breath.
"Do you have to ask?" I asked in return, "Denying it doesn't do any good, does it?" She took a deep breath, a calming one as she held it. I could see how hard this really was.
"Can you honestly tell me," She murmured, quieter now, "That trusting someone else is harder than staying here and letting him beat on you?"
"Yes." I answered without hesitation, "It's a lot harder. There's.. More to it than just trusting someone else. You don't know what he's like. Besides.." I shrugged a little, "The best I could hope for would be to get sent away to some family that gets paid to beat me harder than he ever has."
"That's not true." She replied.
"I've heard stories." I defended my point.
She took a breath, and looked to me, "Just think. Think about what choice you're making before you walk away. There will always be a chance to change your mind, but do you really want it to get bad enough for you to have to? Leandra, I'm worried. That's also not easy to do."
I looked down.
"You know full well that what he does to you isn't right." She continued, "It's not right. You need to understand that."
"I know." I mumbled, "I know that he shouldn't hit me."
"Not just that." She murmured, "It's wrong. You know it's wrong." I knew that better than she obviously knew. I didn't respond to that one. Keeping my eyes down, studying my hands nervously clasped in my lap. I wouldn't bother denying it anymore, but I wouldn't say a word to confirm it.
"I am begging you." She stressed, "Begging you not to leave this car."
I took a breath, "I don't have another choice."
"I'm offering you another choice." She replied, "Right now."
"You don't know him." I whimpered, shaking my head, "You don't get it."
"What don't I get?" She asked, "Please. Explain it to me."
"I can't."
"Why not?" She asked, "Why can't you?"
"I just can't." I shook my head again, "You don't know."
"Look." She murmured, her tone soft, "All you have to do is tell me. Just say the word, and I'll take you back to the house. We'll sort everything out there."
"I can't."
"It's either that, or I camp out in your front yard, and wait for him to get here so I can kick his ass myself." She replied, and I looked to her sharply, "I can't leave you here. I can't do it. Not knowing what he does to you."
I held her gaze for a minute, and everything I saw there told me she knew exactly what was going on. I saw no reason to deny it anymore.
"You can't do that." I finally told her, "You-"
"Then let me take you back." She insisted, "Because that's the only way I'm leaving here. With you with me."
"Okay." I said, "Okay, fine." Just because she made me agree, didn't mean I would be cooperative.
She didn't wait for another word from me, immediately starting the car again.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Leaving while I still had a chance to get back before he even knew I left was one thing. Purposefully waiting for him to get home and not doing everything I could to immediately get back home was even worse.
We got there, and Carlisle was immediately there in the garage doorway. Obviously confused as Alice pulled me from the car. Taking my hand as I followed her a little easier back into the familiar house. Not that she left any option.
I attempted to remove my hand from hers, but it wouldn't budge. Not painfully, like it would have been with Jack, but just impossible to get my hand free.
"There." I muttered, "Now that you're here, I'll walk back." She didn't reply to that, "Alice?" I had to get back. Even if I was a little late in returning, I could still swing it just enough so he wouldn't suspect they had anything to do with why I was gone.
"I couldn't." Was all she said to Carlisle as we passed him into the house. I looked up at him as we passed, confused but having little choice in how this all played out now.
Was I in the middle of being kidnapped?
"Hey, she's back." Emmett seemed pleased at that, but Edward stood up.
"Alice?" He questioned her, glancing to me.
"First things first." Alice muttered, "We need to call the police-"
"No." I immediately stole my hand from hers, "You never said anything about the stupid cops. I won't do it."
"Easy." Esme entered the room, "What's going on?"
"Okay." Alice huffed, "That can wait a few hours if you want, but definitely by morning."
"Alice, I have to go back." I stressed quietly.
"If you leave here, I'm going right along with you." She crossed her arms. That was highly frustrating.
"You don't know what you're doing." I replied sharply, "Just.. Trust me on this, okay? You don't want anything to do with him."
"And why is that?"
I shut up. I saw her angle now. I saw what was going on.
I wasn't brave enough to make a run for it, and I doubted I'd get very far without her following me anyway. She knew that. She was trying to put herself between Jack and me, but she didn't know what she was doing by doing that. I couldn't tell her, though.
She knew something wasn't right. I'd confirmed that just a little bit ago, but she still had no idea how wrong it was. She needed me to fill in that blank, but I wouldn't.
With no way out, my back against a metaphorical corner, I didn't know what to do.
"God, what am I doing here?" I whimpered, sitting on the couch. I was literally shaking with fear. Covering my face briefly. Everything seemed to be happening quickly, and I hadn't yet come to terms with what this choice meant. All to keep Alice safe, I'd essentially just thrown myself into that box.
But no matter how much I hated that thought, I couldn't just let her go there. If I stayed here, she stayed here. If I went home, she went right along with me, and that was something I couldn't let happen. Just the thought of Alice anywhere near Jack made me just as nervous as the thought of him finding out I left. I was confused about which was worse.
I couldn't go home until I figured out a way to go back without her following me.
I looked over as Alice strode back into the room, a washcloth in her hand. She kneeled on the floor in front of the couch, and reached out. Taking my chin in her hand, she started washing my face for me. Gently, carefully smoothing the cloth over my cheeks, the subtle hint of soap on the cloth soothed me. Though I could do it myself, I didn't mind this.
I had to admit, the cool cloth felt nice on my overheated cheeks, but then I realized what she was doing. Jerking my head back, and looking at her with silent accusation in my eyes. She was uncovering my bruise. The thing that had alerted her that first day of what I hid.
"It's okay." She told me, and oddly enough, I became more cooperative. As if I had run out of resistance for a moment. I took a deep, shaky breath. A very needed one as she continued.
She glanced at Carlisle after a few silent moments, "She covers this every day. Every single day. With as good as she is at it, I don't doubt this is the only one she's ever had."
I stayed quiet. If she was hoping I'd add something, she was wrong. I wasn't ready to face this yet, and I knew she was urging me in that direction. I knew what was coming.
"Leandra." I looked over as Carlisle took the chair to my left, "Before we can do anything at all, I need you to tell me." I was well aware of that, but I hid again instead. I wasn't ready for this!
I wasn't doing this.
"Leandra?" He prompted again.
"Maybe we should let her calm down first." To my surprise, Emmett spoke up, "The kid's freaking out, and honestly, I can't blame her."
"I agree." Esme offered sadly, "This has to be terribly hard on her." I glanced to her, grateful for her attempt.
"Leandra." Alice spoke up this time, and I just sobbed again, "Come on. I know how hard this is on you. Believe me, I get it, but I know you have it in you. Just say it. That's all you have to do, and everything will stop. I promise."
I didn't know what could potentially get me into trouble here, so I stayed quiet. Neither denying or confirming. Did she really think I'd give up my life that easily?
"Let me try." Emmett spoke up, and I looked over at him as he stood up, replacing Esme beside me as she stood up as well. He plopped down beside me casually. Let him try? What would he do? I braced myself for anything. I tightened in my ball, glancing over at him nervously. He just smiled as he looked at me.
"Hi." He muttered.
"Hi." I replied, my quiet tone hesitant. He looked me over briefly, before he met my eyes again.
"How do you do that?" He asked.
"Do what?" I asked in return.
"Make yourself that small without even trying." He said, and I shrugged a little, "Well, it's impressive. Seriously, how tall are you?"
"I don't know." I admitted quietly. Where was he going with this?
"Here." He said, "Stand up." I hesitated as he stood up first, watching him, "Come on. I'm not gonna bite you."
He urged me forward with his hand, and slowly, I stood up as well to take the free spot beside him. Waiting for his point.
Touching the top of my head with his hand, he measured my height to his.
"Well," He said, "I'm over six feet. About six-four, and you're about half of me. That puts you at.. Really, really small." I smiled a little at that. That was funny.
"I knew that already." I mumbled, glancing up at him.
"Are you sure you're nine?"
"Pretty sure, yeah." I replied, "Last time I checked."
"What do you weigh?" He asked, and again, I shrugged, "Any estimates?"
"They said a few months ago in school that I weighted forty-nine." I shrugged gently again, "But I probably lost some since then."
"Forty-nine?" He asked, surprised, "Pounds?" What else?
"Yeah." I murmured.
"That settles it, then." He said, "We've gotta fatten you up." I smiled again, looking down. He was pretty funny. He wasn't trying to poke me into talking. He sighed as I sat back down. I didn't curl up again, though. He took the open seat beside me.
"Look here, short-stuff." He muttered, "No one here is trying to ruin your life. I know it seems like it's the end of the world, but I swear its not." He'd moved closer to making me clam up. He had to have seen that by the slight distrustful way my gaze hardened.
"It's not that." I stared down at my hands in my lap, "I know you're just trying to help me."
"Come on, shorty." He prompted, "I'm not that bad of a person, am I?" That, I was not expecting. Did he really think I thought that?
"No." I replied honestly, "I don't think you are."
"Are you trying to protect him?" Jasper's question startled me, as I hadn't seen him approach to take Carlisle's vacated seat. I looked to him.
"Fuck no." I muttered, and beside me, Emmett stifled a chuckle.
"Goodness." I heard from Esme quietly, but I didn't focus too much on that.
"Then why won't you say anything?" Jasper asked.
"There's nothing to say." They had gotten exactly full circle with me, and they knew that, given Jasper's sigh. Beside me, Emmett was having trouble keeping his laughter back.
"I think you're irritating him, shorty." Emmett muttered to me.
"Good." I replied, "Just because I had to come back here doesn't mean I'm spilling everything."
"Had to?" Jasper asked. I fell quiet, carefully choosing my words for a reply.
"Alice said she'd wait there for him if I didn't agree to come back here." I explained, "I didn't want that, so I agreed. I was going to just walk back myself when we got here, but she won't let me."
"Why?" He asked, "Why didn't you want her to wait there?"
"I like her too much." I answered.
"Did you think she'd somehow be in danger?"
My lack of cooperation was starting to really grate on Alice's nerves, and I knew it. The closer it got to the time Jack got home, the more I insisted that I go back. I knew that had to say a lot, but I couldn't help it. Eventually, the questioning slowed, which I appreciated as running them in circles was irritating me.
Carefully picking, choosing each response. Giving them nothing they could use. Without me admitting to anything or making a complaint myself, there was nothing anyone could do. Sure, they could call the cops if they wanted to. I'd lie to a room full of cops if I had to. I'd lie my ass off. I'd lie until I couldn't talk anymore. I'd always lie, and I'd make damn sure they believed me.
When there were less than thirty minutes left, I got really quiet.
My heart pounding quick, staring at the clock. Like I expected him to miraculously know exactly where I was and come to get me the second he found out I was missing. Trembling in my little ball, my shallow, tight breathing shaking along with me. I knew it was audible in the silent room, especially to Alice kneeling on the floor beside me, as I could even hear it above the sound of my heartbeat.
They didn't know what they were doing, that much was clear. If they did, they'd know that I had every right to feel as afraid as I did. Alice wouldn't keep trying to calm me down with words I wasn't paying any attention to.
"What's going through that head of yours?" Alice asked me, "You want to trust me. I know you do. What's stopping you?" I focused hard on the TV, my small smile fading.
"I can't." I finally replied, "I do want to, you're right. More than anything, but I can't." I couldn't do that to her. Trusting her meant relying on her. Relying on someone else was not only bad news for me, but for them as well.
It confused me to realize that I wasn't so sure I wanted Alice to give up. I didn't want her to give up on me.
This was the most effort anyone had ever showed. Someone obviously unwilling to take 'I'm fine' as an answer. For once, part of me wanted someone to be more stubborn than I was.
I chose then to get more comfortable. I could be here awhile.
Tucking my feet to the side, my arm propping my head up on the armrest. My heavy eyes felt heavier this way, though.
"You're sure you're not tired?" Emmett asked, and I opened my eyes again.
"Nope." I replied, and he chuckled.
"Because you sure look tired, and it's been a pretty busy day for you."
I shrugged a little, otherwise not responding. Watching the screen, focused on it far more than I should be, to not notice how I couldn't concentrate on a damn thing that was going on in the movie.
"Kid's falling asleep in here." I jumped awake at Emmett's call minutes later. I had been. I didn't like that thought, so I stood up.
"No I'm not." I grumbled.
"Leandra," Alice came back into the room, "The guest room is just up the hall. If you're tired-"
"I'm fine." I sighed, "When am I going home?"
"Not tonight, so you might as well sleep." She replied, "Get some rest, Leandra."
This was frustrating as hell.
"Keeping me here isn't helping me." I told her, shaking my head, "You're only making it worse for me when I go back."
"You don't have to go back." She stressed again, "Just tell me."
"I can't do that." I was getting pissed. Really upset.
"You can." She countered, "But you won't. Why won't you?"
"I can't tell you that either." I denied instantly, "How many times do I have to say that?"
"You can." She repeated, "Leandra, he can't get to you here. Just tell me. That's all you have to do."
"You're not hearing me." I shook my head, but I sat back down. I was tired, and she knew that, but if she thought that I'd break just because I was tired, she was wrong. It would take more than that. It would take more than just a few hours to get that from me, and I had a feeling she was starting to see that.
"I hear you." She assured me, "I just know exactly where you're at right now. You're afraid, thinking he's going to punish you for talking. You think he's going to know you told the second you tell, but I'm telling you. He won't ever get to you again if you just tell me."
"Yes he will." I sighed, "You don't know him. You don't know what he's like. You don't know what he can do, and as much as I wish I didn't, I do know him. I know what he's like, and I know what he can do."
She left me alone after awhile, and I went back to watching TV. I didn't even remember laying down, but Emmett didn't rat on me this time. He stayed quiet, hardly paying much attention to me at all. Of course, me curled into an insecure ball on my side could have had everything to do with that.
Just closing my eyes to rest them wasn't so bad, though. Just for a minute. I could do that. It was definitely relieving to do so. Soothing my tired eyes, and easing the headache I was developing.
I never even realized how deeply I snoozed until I jumped awake at a thin blanket being laid over me. Whimpering in my sleepy state.
I laid in the same position I must have fallen asleep in. Laying almost completely on my stomach, my cheek against the couch. The TV and most of the lights had been turned off, leaving the now empty and quiet room lit, but dimly. I yawned deeply, trembling with the force of it.
"I'm sorry, honey." It was Esme, "I didn't mean to wake you up." I didn't even try to sit up or move. I was too worn out.
"It's not your fault." I mumbled, resting my eyes closed, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's late." She murmured quietly, "Would you like me to show you the guest room?"
"Can I stay here?" I asked quietly. I was comfortable where I was, and really didn't feel up to moving. If I were to move, I'd be wide awake again. I didn't exactly want to be in the way, either, but I had to ask.
"Of course." She replied easily, "Get some rest. We'll figure everything out in the morning." I nodded a little, already half asleep, "The bathroom is just up the hall, first door on your left. If you need anything at all, I'll be upstairs. First hall, third door on the left."
I doubted I'd need anything, or would even dare try to find her in the middle of the night with Carlisle around, but I nodded anyway. I was pretty easily managed. Just like a cat. Show me the litter box and the food bowls, and I pretty much fended for myself. If I could have fit under the coffee table, I'd have hidden myself away there.
Too exhausted to stay awake, I didn't even remember her leaving the room.
Memories of just the day before flooded back into my mind, stuck now back at the beginning. I was dizzy, and I was hurting, just like I was back then.
Nobody would ever know what this feeling was like, and I really couldn't understand why I would be forced to keep coming back here. This age, this point in my life. It was definitely something I would have to focus on later, as I had a few more pressing issues I needed to address.
Like making them believe me.
There was so much I had to tell them, and unlike what happened before, I remembered everything so solidly, I doubted there was anything that could make me forget it.
From this point on, I had the answers to every single thing that could possibly hurt them or upset their lives. Unfortunately, that also involved me. It was quickly becoming apparent that by choosing to go to school that day, I'd made the wrong choice and I was continuously sent back because I had to fix it.
It made a little bit of sense that I wouldn't keep going back to the exact same spot, considering I was a bit further ahead of when I woke up from a vision last time. I kept screwing up, and it was my minds way of letting me know that I kept doing something wrong. I kept making the same mistakes.
As much information as my mind held now, it was pretty hard to make sense of what was going on. Absentmindedly, I massaged my nervous stomach, a seemingly permanent frown on my face. My stomach was hurting me, but from what I remembered, that wasn't new.
"Leandra?" Alice was calling my attention again, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked over at her before I shook my head, trying to straighten out my mind. I had stopped, standing in the middle of the hallway, just thinking. I continued on, though, knowing I had limited time.
I walked back into the living room to find Carlisle had come in as well. I stopped in my tracks, looking at him. Alice, right behind me, paused as well.
"Leandra?" She questioned again. Fresh from the last conversation I'd had with Carlisle while I slept, emotion tried to take me down again, but I managed to keep it together long enough to speak. Closing my eyes, shaking my head a bit, I looked back over at Carlisle. I had a point to make and I needed to make it fast. With what I remembered about this time, I had a time limit and I needed to make it known.
"I just need everyone to listen to me." I started, but I stopped myself. Sitting down instead, I spoke quieter, "Err.. Wait."
I had a few more things I needed to get straight in my head. I wasn't ready yet. I was getting overwhelmed by how much I had to think. There was something here that I needed to fix. Something here that I kept doing wrong.
Something.. Here.
Thinking about it like that, it suddenly made sense. This was where I kept going wrong. In the end, all of this now was what led to things going so wrong before I would finally wake up. I knew what fixing it would mean, but I did say during the vision that if I'd had a chance to change everything, I would take it. This was my chance. I saw that this time.
I looked back over at Carlisle again. To him, it would really be the first time I looked right at him. To me, it was normal by now. To him, just the day before, I struggled to trust him.
"I'm not crazy." I started again, standing back up, "I'm not."
"I never believed you were." He replied simply, deeply concerned.
"I know things." I went on, "Things you all need to know, but it.. It's a little mixed up right now. It's mixed up, but I need to figure it out before-"
"Slow down." Alice murmured, gently taking my shoulders in her hands and turning me to face her.
"Ow." I muttered, stepping back, "Careful. That hurts again. I'm not used to it."
"What hurts?" She asked.
"I have to get back, Alice. Nobody has to get hurt, but I have to get back before-"
"Slow down." She repeated, "And explain."
"I don't have time to slow down." I replied a bit shortly, but I was talking faster now, "The cops will be here any minute." I paused for a breath, "But there are a few things I have to tell you, but you have to promise to listen to it closely, okay? There's a lot that's gonna happen and I'm trying to remember it all-"
Esme tried, "Leandra-"
"Firstly, don't go play baseball until next freaking year." I continued to speak quickly, "Don't do it. It just leads you to trouble. Second, don't use so much tape on Bella's birthday present. She's stupid, and cuts her finger open right in front of Jasper, which makes him flip out and try to kill her. Third, don't let Edward leave because of that. He gets all mad and leaves her, and then we all have to move to New York for awhile so Bella thinks we're gone. Third- Or fourth.. Whatever.." I paused long enough for a gasp, suddenly remembering. New York. There was something there in New York for me to find.
"Mikah." I whispered in astonishment, "Mikah's still human."
"Who is Mikah?" Alice asked, but I grew a big grin.
I laughed, amazed by this realization, "Mikah's still human! It doesn't have to suck!"
"Leandra," She sighed, "Who is Mikah?"
"He's someone I met in New York." I answered, "I miss him, but oh well. He doesn't have to know me. Nobody does. Nobody has to get hurt because of me! Don't you get it? I can fix it!"
"You had a vision." She finally understood. No shit. I thought, up to this point, that we were all on the same page, but I did kind of leave her in the dust explanation wise. I was miles ahead of her. Years.
"Yes." I sighed. I was getting frustrated that she was still way back there in understanding, but then I thought about it. She can't read my thoughts. I spoke again.
"I can fix everything. Nothing has to go wrong- Oh! And tell Edward not to give in to Bella's demands." She frowned in confusion, "Just tell him! Wait! Where is he? He'll know what I'm talking about."
I turned, striding for the door. Changing my mind right next to Esme, turning back around to face Alice, "Wait, not yet. He can't be here yet. He's still off with Bella anyway, huh?"
I was hatching a plan that would no doubt end badly for me, but it was all I had. This was my only bargaining chip. Without holding this information back, there was no way they would ever let me fix this. I was comfortable with doing this because I knew it was all safely stored in my mind.
I wouldn't tell them what they needed to know unless they let me do what I needed to do.
"First thing's first though." I said, "You have to let me go. You can't let Jack know that you're the one that kept me here all night, and no matter what happens, don't answer the phone." I looked to Carlisle, "Don't answer. Don't come get me. Don't let Alice follow me. Just please, forget you ever met me. I love you all too much to get anyone hurt like that again, so I won't do it. You have to let me go."
"What?" Alice was still frowning, "You're joking-"
"You have to let me go back!" I shut her up, ignoring the tears that started to fall again, "Please. I'm begging you. Just let me go back. I'll.. I don't know. I don't know what you want from me, but please.." I started to cry again, "Let me go. I'll do anything you want if you just.. Just let me go back. Let me fix it."
I gasped through sobs, struggling to breathe. I was deeply overwhelmed, and trying to make them understand was hard on me. My emotions were everywhere. I was terrified, desperate, and excited all rolled into one living, breathing mess.
Worriedly, she looked to Carlisle.
"How will you going back prevent any of that from happening?" Carlisle asked and I looked over at him.
"It's not just that that I'm trying to fix." I cried, "I-It's Jack. You don't know him. You don't know how far he'll go to get me back. I know I said all this.. Um.. Yesterday? I know I said all this before, but you really don't know how far he'll go, and I don't want you to know." I paused for a few breaths, closing my eyes for a second or two, before speaking quieter.
"I can't spend the next eight years running again.: I stressed, "I can't do it again. You try to protect me.. You try really hard, but.. It's not enough. Everything goes wrong after Jack takes me to California tomorrow. He takes me there to meet his dad, and he tells me that he's going to leave me there. I run away and I call you, and you come get me.. But that's not what's supposed to happen. That's where it all goes wrong. I have to stay wherever Jack wants me to be if I'm gonna fix things."
I had to sit down. All that talking was making me lightheaded.
"What are you going on about, shorty?" Emmett stood on the stairs, watching me. I looked over, seeing that he was alright, and instantly sobbed harder. He seemed puzzled, watching as I stood back up. My very last memory of him being the fact that he'd lost to Jack. That pain was very real to me.
"Can I hug you?" I whimpered pathetically. His expression melted, and he smiled a little. He wouldn't understand why, but he humored me. Descending the stairs to grant my request. I met him halfway, wasting no time in hugging him as tight as I could.
This was a huge change from how it'd been the day before. Just a few hours ago, I was scared of him. Now I was overwhelmingly glad to see him, and to be able to hug him again. He returned it gently, which I appreciated even more.
"Wait.." Alice murmured, "Did you say eight years?" I nodded through my tears, "You saw eight years into the future?"
"Wait." I sobbed. I was in the middle of a moment. I would answer whatever she wanted after I was okay with letting go of Emmett. I held my breath, trying to stop crying as I looked up at him, "You're okay? You're okay."
"I'm fine." He laughed a little, obviously confused, "Easy, shorty. Breathe." I took his advice, forcing my breathing to slow and even out.
A minute later, I stepped back enough to look back up at him. He still seemed confused but didn't seem to mind my sudden change of heart.
I looked to Alice after a moment longer, shaking my head and wiping the tears off my chin with my shoulder.
"You have to let them take me back." I was suddenly quiet now, "I don't care what happens to me. I don't care what he does to me. I have to go back." I whispered now, "I'm begging you. Let me go."
Her eyes gave away her sadness and deep concern as she stepped forward and slowly kneeled down in front of me. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew that whatever was upsetting me was big.
"Leandra.." She murmured, "What happens?"
I couldn't answer. I literally couldn't speak the words, so instead, I looked back up at Emmett before meeting Alice's eyes again. She understood, given the deepening concern.
"How?" She asked.
"Jack." I whimpered, and Emmett scoffed.
"Don't do that!" I suddenly looked up, shouting at him, "You're always doing that! Don't be stupid! You're stronger, but he's faster!" My shout died in my throat as I crumbled. Strangled by the knot of emotion fighting to overwhelm me even further.
"Wow." Emmett muttered, fighting back more laughter.
"How is that possible?" Alice asked quietly. Her quiet tone calmed me a bit. Enough to get my thoughts back in order.
"He gets turned." I mumbled, "Because of what happens at that baseball game. And because of that, he can hunt me down better. You try.." I squeezed my eyes shut, "You try everything you can to keep me safe, but it's not enough. Not against him. Please. I can't wait around and watch everyone suffer again because of me. It hurts too much.. You have to let them take me."
"Who?" She asked.
"The cops." I answered, "They'll be here soon." She frowned again, looking to Carlisle.
"None of us called them, Leandra." Carlisle told me.
"I know." I mumbled, "Jack did. He wanted to try to get you guys in trouble, and to remind me not to say anything."
"Say anything about what?" Alice asked. It was always right back to that question. I'd finally had enough.
Frustrated now, I groaned out an irritated sigh before I reached down and lifted my shirt over my back. I heard Esme's intake of breath across the room as soon as my skin was revealed. I'd heard that before, so I was expecting it. My reasoning was maybe if they saw what they wanted to see, they would stop asking me about it. The sooner I got it out of the way, the sooner we could get back to talking about what was more important.
"Holy shit." Emmett was obviously not expecting that, and I looked over at him. Carlisle immediately came forward.
"About this." I answered Alice anyway, "This is what I can't tell you about. This is what I was hiding."
"How many damn cars have you been run over by, shorty?" Emmett demanded, leaning down. Probably for a closer look.
"Leandra, how recent is this?" Carlisle asked tensely, kneeled behind me and inspecting my back.
"Couple days." I muttered, "Some of it, anyway. The older stuff is a little older." I wasn't shy, sighing as I finished pulling off my shirt, freeing my bruised arms from the sleeves. It was literally everywhere.
I looked down, over my stomach. It was all there too, but I knew my back was worse. The criss-crossing pattern of dark bruising and welts, all with the width and shape of the belt Jack loved to use. In all directions laid strips of bruises over my skin. Curling over my arms, my sides, chest and stomach. More on my right side than on my left, though, as that side had often taken the brunt of the force.
I knew full well that it wasn't just the bruising that concerned them all. How scrawny I was also contributed to the worry. If I breathed just right, my ribs were almost seen. My arms were thin, but not too horribly. How small and scrawny I was compared to the bruising I held made up the base of their concern. I knew all this already.
"And you really think.." Emmett's tone was tense as well, and I looked back over my shoulder at him, "We'd ever let you go back to that?"
"You have to." I replied, stepping forward. Away from Carlisle's assessment, straightening out my shirt. I turned to face Emmett, "You know why? Because I watched you die. By the same person that did this."
"I could just go over there right now and take care of that." He countered, "That would make sure he can't hurt anyone again."
"You can't do that, either." I muttered, "You know why? Because that would just make them send me to California anyway to live with his dad. I didn't know that before, but I do now. He's already made plans for me. They'll send me wherever he wanted me to be sent."
"Maybe he'd be better for you."
"No." I replied immediately, "Ken isn't better. He's worse. He's the one that taught Jack everything he knows."
"You stayed here, with us last time?" Alice asked, and I nodded, looking back at her.
"Yeah." I replied, "Because it took me awhile to remember that you guys are vampires, and that made you nervous. You thought I'd blab to everyone about it when I did remember."
"Well, then." Emmett chuckled a little at my obvious nonchalance.
"I won't tell anyone." I assured him, "I care about you guys too much to get you into trouble like that. Plus, who would believe me? I'm just a kid. Again. God.." I shook my head, finally pulling on my sweater, sighing hard in more irritation.
"Again?"
"This is the third fucking time." I grumbled, "I've been sixteen twice now. I got it wrong again the second time. The first time, I woke up back in my room. A few days ago now, I guess. Then, this morning, I woke up again. Both times I'd been turned, which is so not fun, by the way. First time.." I hesitated, "Well, I won't tell you about that, but trust me. It sucks bad. I'm gonna get it right this time if it kills me. I can't keep doing that. I can't keep coming back here."
"Leandra.." Alice sighed, standing up, "You have a lot of potentially important information."
I sighed as well, "When I have more time, I'll tell you everything I know. If you let me go."
"What happens if he kills you first?" Emmett asked pointedly. I turned to look up at him.
"He won't." I replied, "I'm too important to- Gah. Can you kneel down here or something? I'm used to being a lot taller, and this is really messing me up." Despite the situation, Emmett laughed.
I watched as he did what I asked, grateful for him humoring me. If I hadn't been so desperate to make them see, it would have been amusing to me too.
"I'm too important to him." I explained, "Everything he does to me, he says is because I was born at all, but it's actually because he's trying to make me turn out like him. He told me when I was fifteen, and before that when I was ten, that the whole reason he beats me and.. Well, the other stuff.. Is because he's trying to teach me how to hate like him. He's not gonna kill me or leave me with Ken. He'll bring me back here after awhile, and I'll find some way to tell you all what I know and what you all need to know." I hesitated, "Well, unless you really want a whole big argument with Aro and them over the baby Bella has that almost kills her."
"Wait.." Emmett frowned, floored, "Back up?"
"Yeah." I said, "Aro is an asshole. They all are, but him the most. His whole thing is he wants me because I'm the second half to his gift, but I don't want that."
"The second half?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded.
"From taking my hand, Aro can use my gift to see visions in real time." I answered, "Whatever he wants to see, whenever he wants to see it. It's a little weirder than that, but that's about it. He's waited for someone like me for a really, really long time, so just think about what happens. Jack's trying to get me, Aro's trying to get me, and you're all trying to protect me from both of them when I'm being stupid, and getting myself into trouble. That isn't easy for anybody. You pay too much attention to Aro and Jack, when you should be paying attention to me."
I turned to look back at Alice, "But.. Deal's off if you say anything to anyone about anything. I know it's hard to believe anything I say, because I'm just a kid to you, but I can fix it this time. I know what I'm doing. You just have to trust me."
"So wait," Emmett said, "Just so we're on the same page here.." I looked over at him, "You know everything there is to know about what supposed to happen over the next eight years.."
"Yeah." I confirmed.
"But you.." He paused, frowning a bit, "You're trying to fix things that go wrong for you.."
"Yeah." I repeated.
"And to do that," He went on, "You think you have to go back to that Jack-ass?"
"I don't think it." I replied, "I know it."
"For argument's sake, what would happen if you weren't able to?"
I was about to get irritated, until I realized that I probably wasn't making much sense before. Just like before, I was getting ahead of myself.
"Nowhere would be safe." I answered quietly.
"I gathered that." He waved it off, "You mentioned that, but there are ways around that, if you would just tell us."
"You're not getting it." I shook my head a little, "I tried. Twice. And twice, I got it wrong."
"Yes, but if you would just tell us where you went wrong-"
"It's not that easy." I said, "I went wrong by going to school that day. I went wrong by meeting Alice, or Edward, or Jasper. None of you were ever supposed to know me, but I can fix that. All I have to do, is-"
"Is go and get yourself killed." Emmett finished for me.
"No." I argued, "I just have to go back to make sure he never finds out it was you that helped me. Easy."
"Yes, but why?" He still wasn't getting it, "I'm not afraid of some-"
"Don't do that." I shook my head, "That's part of why everything goes so wrong. Because none of you think he's dangerous. You're not afraid of him now because none of you know what he can do. You guys have limits. Places you can't go, things you can't do that he can." I sighed, trying to think of the right way to further explain, "He always told me that if I ever ran away, no matter how far I go, he'll always find me, and I believe him 'cause I've seen it happen.
"I don't care so much about that, but it bugs me that he always finds you guys first. And that's where everything goes wrong. That's where it all starts. If I fix that, I can fix everything, and fixing everything is what I want more than anything else in the world. You can't fix it for me without things going even more wrong. It has to be me."
"Honey," Esme, having been silent this whole time, frowned as she spoke, "Why is this the only solution?"
"It just is." I said, "Letting you guys help me is the wrong way. It's gotta be this way, because I just can't sit back and watch everything fall apart again."
Before she could reply, I spotted out the window as the police car drove up.
"Believe me, I know how hard this is on you, but you have to trust me." I said, "I'll tell you everything you wanna know when I can, but for now, I'm out of time. Just trust me." I repeated quietly, making sure my sweater was straight, and heading for the door.
I looked over as Carlisle followed, but everyone else stayed.
I hated that I had to pause on the stairs, struggling to catch my breath in my pain. Being so worked up made all my welts and bruises throb and ache in a too familiar way as the initial adrenaline wore off. Carlisle waited with me, watching as I struggled to catch my breath.
I really didn't want to do this. I really didn't want to go back to that, and I had no doubts that Carlisle knew that. He didn't know me. I was just some random kid that Alice kidnapped the night before, but here I was, fighting so hard to go straight back to hell. All to keep him and his family safe.
"God.." I tried hard to bite back the tears that escaped, "It hurts.." I admitted that under my breath, holding tight to the handrail.
"Leandra, you don't have to do this." Carlisle murmured, and I sobbed a small, humorless laugh. He just didn't understand. He had no idea.
"I do." I replied as firmly as I could, "Yes I do. Because I don't wanna live with what goes wrong. Jasper told me once that everything isn't about what I'm willing to live with. It's what I'm not willing to live with. Or something like that."
"That sounds like him." Carlisle nodded a little, "But I'm concerned."
"Don't be." I sniffled hard, wiping my tears away with my sleeve, "It's easier not to if you try not to think about it so much."
"You're asking me to turn a blind eye to someone desperately helpless, forcing herself back to her abusive stepfather." He replied, "That is definitely not something easily done."
I couldn't help smiling a little, my small voice wavering in pain, "Mikah one time called him a 'horribly abusive, raging narcissistic psychopath with sickening homicidal tendencies'."
That was a lot to remember, but I recalled it easily, because I missed his voice so much. I remembered it like I'd just heard it, and I had no doubt that it would always be like that for me with everything he ever told me. Even the memory of Andrew's voice paled in how clear Mikah's had been to me.
"That's even more concerning." Carlisle admitted, his frown deepening.
"I'm just used to it, I guess, because that's funny to me." It was funny to me because it was true, but I wouldn't say that out loud.
"I'm afraid I can't see the humor." He replied, and I tried to smile a little.
"Maybe it was the way he said it." I mumbled with a small shrug, but my smile faded, "I'm really gonna miss Mikah so much."
"He certainly sounds like an interesting individual."
"He was." I replied, and my voice quieted, "Is, I mean. He was my best friend. I'll tell you about him later if you want."
I took a deep breath and straightened up, as the three light knocks came to the front door. I finished descending the stairs, coming to Carlisle's side.
"I just want to make everything okay again. That's all I want." I murmured under my breath before he moved forward and stiffly opened the door.
"I'm sorry to bother you, Dr. Cullen." One of the cops spoke with an apologetic smile.
We stepped outside, and the usual introductions took place, and I couldn't help noticing the others watching from the upper windows. I knew they were all hoping I would change my mind, but in looking up at them, it made more sense why I was doing this.
In a weird way, I wanted them to see how well I was able to lie. To those without those heightened senses, I was a very good liar. Especially now that it was about more than just saving my own skin.
"You're here for me." I mumbled, cutting off whatever the cop was saying.
"Yes, ma'am." He smiled at me, "It seems your stepfather is rather worried."
"I know." I replied, "I just forgot to call home last night. I thought I told him before that I would be here after school yesterday, but I guess not."
I could tell by the cop's expression that he found part of that off. For a split second, I got nervous. What had I said wrong?
"He mentioned you weren't in school yesterday." He told me, and I blanked for a second. Uhh..
"I wasn't." I muttered, thinking fast, "After.. Their school, I meant. I wanted to talk to Alice, and stayed longer than I meant to, I guess." He nodded in understanding now. Even I was surprised at how easy it was for me to look him right in the eye and lie straight to his face. Determination had a lot to do with that, though. I was determined to fix what I'd done by agreeing to come here.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle look down at me.
I knew him well enough to know how badly he wanted to say something, but I looked up at him. Reminding him with just a look. This was bothering him. A lot.
"What happened there?" The cop asked me, taking my attention again. Right. The bruise on my face. I could tell from his tone he was trying to be relaxed about it, but he was obviously very interested in it.
I recalled my original lie perfectly.
"Cabinet door." I forced a laugh, raising my hand to touch it, "I turned around too fast, and the stupid thing attacked me." I kept my tone and expression as open as I possibly could. Light, relaxed, despite the turmoil inside me.
"Ouch." The cop laughed as well, "I almost did that just last week. It looks like it got you good." I nodded.
"It did." I replied easily, "I've been icing it, though. I think I got lucky."
"You sure did." He agreed, "Good idea with the ice." I nodded, letting that conversation drop.
"You won't tell him where I was, will you?" I asked, "I don't want to get them in trouble because I went over here without telling him." It seemed like a reasonable request.
"I think it'll be alright." He replied with a small smile, "I think he'll just be glad to know you're okay." I nodded a little, so he sighed, "Shall we?"
"Leandra," Carlisle spoke, "A quick word?"
"I'll be over here." The cop smiled a little and turned back for his car. Carlisle crouched in front of me as the cop walked away, but I looked down.
"I know what you're gonna say." I kept my voice quiet, "Believe me, I get it, but.." I glanced over at the cop, "I have to do what I have to do."
"I cannot comfortably allow this." He replied in his own quiet tone, "That degree of abuse-"
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I never should have showed you, but I promise that doesn't happen again. Not even close." That seemed to help, "What I'm doing is my own choice. You tried. Everyone tried, but it's not enough to help with what I know."
To his surprise, I put an end to the conversation by hugging him.
As far as I knew, this would be the last I ever saw of him. It was better that way. It was a brief hug, lasting hardly long enough for him to return it before I turned away. I was going to let that be it, but I couldn't.
"Shorty." Emmett came outside, and I looked over in surprise. Alice followed him out as well, and I really started to get nervous. Kneeling down in front of me, he spoke again, thankfully quieter, "Don't do this."
"I know it's hard." I whispered, "But please don't ruin this. I can't get it wrong again." I hated to see the worry in his expression, "I'll be okay, I promise."
"How can you possibly promise that?" He asked.
"I've been okay this long, right?" I asked, and he gave me a flat look.
"You are not okay." He reminded me, so I sighed.
"You know what I mean." I argued, "From here on is just getting me to California. I'll stay for a day or two, and we'll come back, and you'll see." That helped quite a bit. I could tell, "I know what I gotta do. I just gotta stay on his good side 'til then. I know how to do that."
"I'm going to hold you to that." He murmured hesitantly.
"Go ahead." I replied, "Because it's true." He didn't like it, but I could see he wasn't going to blow it for me.
"And when you get back," He said, "We're gonna talk about what you said earlier." I wasn't quite sure which subject he was referring to, but I nodded anyway. Anything to calm him down.
With that, I turned away again. Before the cop could get too suspicious, I crossed the driveway, straight to the cop's car sitting there. I glanced back to see Emmett and Carlisle both stand back up, but that was as far as they moved.
I climbed into the car willingly, watching as he closed the door gently behind me. I took a moment to just breathe while the cop had a few lighthearted words with Carlisle. Apologizing for the mix-up and whatnot. I tried my hardest not to start crying again as I looked out the window at them.
This had to be so hard for them, taking the word of a nine-year-old they barely met, but it was very hard for me as well. Taking this path meant more than they understood, but even I was still trying to wrap my head around it. There was so much they just didn't know.
"Don't follow me." I whispered quietly, but even as those words came free, I knew I would be followed. Especially as Emmett looked over at a very silent Alice standing there with her arms crossed.
I closed my eyes, lightly thumping my head against the window. Letting a tear escape before quickly wiping it away with my palm. I turned away from the window then, just in case more followed.
I left with that cop, despite all of them obviously being against it. They stuck to their side of the agreement, though. They didn't say a word about the bruises or what they knew to be true. Oddly, that relieved me.
I was used to this, weirdly enough. On the outside, I forced my expression to be calm. Almost bored. On the inside, my heart pounded too fast and I felt like throwing up. My thoughts raged through my mind a thousand miles a minute. The entire drive home, I did inventory on the things I remembered, chewing a bit on my lip in my hidden anxiousness as I sorted through everything I remembered. It was hard.
Making sure I was positive that this was the only way. Round and round in my head I went through possible solutions, but it always came back down to one not-so-simple conclusion.
Even if I did get away from Jack, I would never be safe. I could never get back what I lost by waking up. I had to do this, and I had to do it right. Doing it right meant cutting every single tie I had before. It was best for everyone involved if I just kept his attention on me, and left it at that.
That was a tough concept for me to grasp.
A/N: First chapter down. I worked hard on this one, and I hope you guys enjoyed it. :)
Chapter two won't be long out. It just needs a final go-over, and it'll be ready. I do have to say that this story takes a huge twist a bit later on that changes the rest of the series when we come to it. It's a twist I've considered many times in the past, but was always too chicken to take. I'm really hoping it goes well.
Until then, my wonderful readers, enjoy the ride! (: