Fairy Tales
"Harry?"
"Unf... ugh... Yes Ron?"
"Tell me a story."
"Wha?"
"Tell me a story. Go on."
"A what?"
"A story Harry. Tell me one."
"Ugh, once upon a time there was an annoying ginger boy named Ronald who was brutally murdered in his sleep because he wouldn't let his best mate get any shut eye."
"Ah. Sorry mate."
"S'alright."
"..."
"..."
"Harry?"
"Oh God, what this time?"
"Tell me a story. Please?"
"What are you, four?"
"Seriously mate, I can't sleep."
"You got a lanky git twittering in your ear too, have you?"
"..."
"Oh brother. Alright, alright. Once upon a time..."
"Don't be stupid Harry, real stories never start like that."
"Who's telling this story, me or you?"
"Erm... continue."
"Thank you. Anyway, once upon a time there was a rather studly young man who went by the name of Ha-"
"..."
"-rold. Harold was sexy and talented and wonderful and all the girls wanted his attention-"
"What about the boys?"
"What?"
"The boys. Did they want his attention too?"
"Er... well... I suppose the ones who wanted to be just like him did... yeah..."
"What about the gay ones?"
"What?"
"You know, men who like men. Did they lust after Harold like the girls?"
"Well, he was an all round sexy kinda guy, so yeah, yeah they did."
"Which boys?"
"I don't know Ron, the ones in pink tutus who'd fixed stars onto the ends of their wands."
"Like fairies?"
"Like fairies."
"That's very narrow-minded of you Harry."
"Huh?"
"Not all gay boys are camp, and if some are well, that's up to them, isn't it?"
"Since when did this story-"
"-Fairy Tale."
"-turn into a political correctness discussion?"
"What's that?"
"It doesn't matter. Look, if you're not going to listen why don't we just get some sleep, ok?"
"Ok."
"..."
"..."
"Harry?"
"I'm going to kill you."
"Are you homophobic?"
"What? No, of course not."
"Oh, good. Night then."
"Night."
"..."
"..."
"Ron?"
"Yes Harry?"
"Why the sudden interest in my take on same sex relations?"
"Well, you're my best mate, aren't you?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, I should know everything about you. Including your biases."
"I don't have any biases!"
"Of course you don't."
"You think I'm homophobic, don't you!"
"I never said that."
"No, but you're thinking it!"
"Since when are you a Legilmens?"
"Since you were as easy to read as Quidditch Through the Ages!"
"There's no point getting heated."
"I'm not heated!"
"..."
"I mean, I'm ok. I'm fine."
"And besides, you're not that good at reading people."
"..."
"G'night Harry."
"Night."
"..."
"..."
"Ron?"
"Yes Harry?"
"Are you gay?"
"..."
"Are you?"
"No."
"Are you... sure?"
"Yes. You know Hermione does it for me."
"Uh... huh."
"Sorry mate, little graphic there."
"No, no, it's ok. After all, who doesn't like to here about the sexual tension between his two best friends?"
"Ha ha ha."
"Er... night then."
"Night."
"..."
"..."
"Harry?"
"Yes Ron?"
"Neville says hi."
Fin