Disclaim: I is high, and not JKR. Capish?
A/N: Aaah, my first songfic! I hope you like it, leave a review for me, review = motivation! :D
When you try your best but you don't succeed;
When you got what you want but not what you need.
When you feel so tired you can't sleep;
Stuck in reverse –
She fell to the cold hard floor. Over and over the memory played, and she could not release the memory that haunted her consistently, no matter how hard she tried. The scene played in her head, danced with her sanity, moved her feelings. The memory was imprinted in her brain; she could never be rid of it. She tried so hard, but to no avail. Like a broken record, it played, and like salt on a wound, it burned. The feelings that rose in her when she remembered drove her to the brink of insanity, and it played once more...
"Draco, Draco! Please help me..." She pleaded, looking into the eyes of her former lover. "Draco, help me please!" She sobbed loudly, ducking her head. "Come back to me baby, I need you, Draco please..." Her cries began to wrack her body and her surroundings began to darken, but the familiar sense of pain forced her to stay awake, she stared wide-eyed at the one before her, her eyes burning with need.
And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you love someone but it goes to waste;
Could it be worse? –
"I want to, Hermione, I want to, but I can't, you know I can't! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I –" His eyes screamed for forgiveness and helplessness, but Hermione had to try, she could not give up easily. Pushing herself to sit on her knees she clasped her hands together, looking at the frightened Malfoy before her, begging him.
"Draco..." She pleaded, feeling the pain hit her again. "I love you, I love you! You... you can help me and we can leave together, run away! We can move away from here, get married, have children, and grow old together! You know... the way you and I always used to talk about, growing old together..." She squirmed slightly. "Draco I love you and I know you love me too! All those nights meant something to you! I know it did! Save me... Save the one you love... be brave! Draco!" She felt the droopiness hit her and then the anguish, she screamed aloud in pain, tears flowing quickly on her blood stained face, she raised herself with great effort, but the pain of the Cruciatus curse dragged her down, she fought it with immense endeavour. She took Malfoy's hands into his and he gasped slightly, warmth onto cold, they were such opposites, yet they fit together beautifully, they were like north and south poles on magnets, so different, but that magical force attracts the two and had brought them together, creating a love like none had ever seen.
"I love you too Hermione, but I can't save you, I'll put you in danger, I'm a Death Eater, I'm a Death Eater..." He repeated twice, shaking his head and squeezing her hand gently. "I love you Hermione, I do, I really do, but I am not yours, and I never will be, and you will never be mine, and you never will be. You deserve better." He whispered softly to her, he had never felt so weak and upset. How could one girl, a muggle-born "mudblood", his former enemy whom he was meant to loathe, make him feel so vulnerable? She brought the worst and best out in him, but he loved her for it, despite her blood.
And high up above or down below;
When you're too in love to let it go...
But you never try you never know;
Could it be worse –?
"I don't want anyone else, just you! I want you! I love you! Show me your love Draco, prove it to me! I love you Draco, just you! I lied for you, to my friends and to everyone, I made so many sacrifices for you, because I thought you loved me! Make a sacrifice for me Draco; prove your love to me!" She pleaded, but he looked away and she felt his hands grow hard and stiff. She looked at him disbelievingly. "I guess you don't." She stated, she scoffed slightly, her body giving up. "I'm such a fool, you told me you loved me, you told me you would always protect me, and n-no one would ever come between us, all those times, over and over... You lied Draco, you lied to me b-but worst of all you lied to yourself. You're not satisfied Malfoy, I know you, and you never will be. I loved you, and I thought you loved me, I believed all the twisted lies you fed me, because I thought you truly had changed, after Dumbledore..." She paused. "Don't ever forget me, Malfoy, because i-if I survive this, I will. I will remember you, all the time. I'll remember your betrayal and your false l-love... I hope you are happy after this and remember me, remember me as a sign of your cowardice, but m-most importantly, remember that I love you and I always will, no matter what. I love you... Malfoy." Draco's eyes stung, she had used his last name, now he knew she would never forgive him. He was a bastard for acting like this, she did not understand it. He had to protect her; he had to protect her from him. He was dangerous, in league with the wrong people, but she was wrong, he did love her, he loved her like no other, she made him happy, she filled him, she was his first love and he hers, however, this was definitely the end. Hermione knew what would happen next. She looked away from him as she heard the shriek from his aunt, Bellatrix as she noticed Hermione was touching Draco.
"How dare you touch pure blood? How dare you touch something purer than none like you've seen! Repugnant mudblood! Crucio! Crucio!" The pain hit Hermione doubly, and she fell to the floor, her hands falling out of Draco's. "Draco!" Bella called sharply. "Go wash your hands! Then dispose of this filth." With that she walked off, not noticing the two large tears falling from Draco's eyes. Her words had scarred him, and he knew she was right, as always, he would never forget her. He sighed loudly and took Hermione into his arms, and disapparated.
Hermione fell onto the hard floor of her luxury apartment, and broke down. "Everytime!" She shrieked angrily into the air, to no one. "You left me! You hurt me! I needed my love to protect me! I needed you to show your love for me! But you abandoned me! You left me in the arms of another man who I didn't want! I forced myself to love him! But never! Never will I feel for him what I felt for you; it was you, always you... What became of you Draco? All those times... but I loved you! I loved you! Wasn't I enough to give up that wretched lifestyle? I love you! I loved you..." She repeated this continuously, letting herself fall asleep, remembering her first and last love.
I love you, I loved you...
A startled Hermione woke up on her hard wooden floor. The memory had haunted her dreams, and the beautiful, pale face telling Hermione he could not save her caused Hermione more pain and anguish than the Cruciatus Curse. She broke down in another fit of uncontrollable tears, and she screamed, and screamed, hoping this would take the pain away, however much she cried for him, it didn't take away the pain, it made her feel hollow inside, empty, and that was what she was, hollow. Without Draco, her Hogwarts lover for two years, she wasn't herself; she needed him to keep her alive, she had been living, true, but her soul wasn't, she lost it that day, she lost it when he turned her back on her. She needed her other half back, the reason for her life, the heart that filled her chest. She needed her Draco Malfoy back, or she will end her life. What is the point of living when she had nothing to live for? Hermione stood up, refusing to shed any more tears, and entered the bathroom. She bathed herself thoroughly and put on a random outfit, not caring. There was only one thing she needed to do right now, or she would surely lose her mind.
Hermione quickly apparated to her destination. Having no idea where she was going, she let the little sense she had guide her. She walked through the narrow, clean roads, turn here, left there. Her eyes swept the apartments, but she knew him better than even his mother, she knew he would not live in homes like those, too flashy he called them when she showed them to him once, before the war. She smiled at the thought, unaware of where her shaky legs were guiding her, but she had immense trust in her leftover understanding, she had to do this, there was no going back now. She finally came across a block of expensive flats in Central London. Letting her heart overtake her mind, she walked upstairs. She came across door number thirty, sure it was this one. He always had an odd obsession for the number. She knocked on the door with baited breath, her bones tingling with a familiar sensation that only one made occur. It opened.
"Hermione?" A flabbergasted Malfoy gasped, looking as handsome as ever. He looked at his old love, surprised beyond measurable.
Lights will guide you home;
And ignite your bones.
And I will try... to fix you.
_
So what did you think? Please leave a review; I'm so hopeless without motivation :(
~RavenclawStudent