A/N: My latest song obsession! And so I bring you "So What?" by P!nk in... FrUK form! XD Feel free to listen to the song as you read, or not. It works either way. And at the bottom there is a huge Author Note explaining a lot of things :) Enjoy!
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na na
I guess I just lost my husband,
I don't know where he went.
So I'm gonna drink my money,
I'm not gonna pay his rent.
I got a brand new attitude,
And I'm gonna wear it tonight!
I wanna get in trouble,
I wanna start a fight!
na na na na na na na I wanna start a fight!
na na na na na na na I wanna start a fight!
France slammed open the door and walked out. He was done with the constant shit he had to put up with being England's lover. This punk rock phase of his was getting old, and so were the constant fights, arguments, and misunderstandings between the two of them.
England barged in the house, looking around for his husband.
"France?" He asked, but didn't hear any reply. "Hello? France? Damnit! Where the hell are you?" England grabbed a bottle from the kitchen cabinet, and took a swig as he checked the mail. Trashy magazines, letters from the other countries... Oh, and look at that- the bill for the rent for France's other house. Well, England sure as hell wasn't paying that.
Grabbing his wallet, he headed out. England was pissed as hell at France, and was looking for a fight.
Fuck, why had the frog left? Sure, they fought occasionally, but the sex was great.
So, so what?
I'm still a rock star!
I got my rock moves,
And I don't need you!
And guess what-
I'm having more fun!
And now that we're done,
I'm gonna show you tonight!
I'm alright,
I'm just fine,
And you're a tool!
So, so what?
I am a rock star!
I got my rock moves!
And I don't want you tonight!
Aw, who cared? England was a rock star- who do you think inspired Queen, The Rolling Stones, David Bowie, John Lennon, Led Zeppelin, Mick Jagger, Pink Floyd, Elton John, Rod Stewart, Sting, Paul McCartney, Eric Clapton, and hundreds more?
That's right- England.
He didn't need France- life was funner without him.
Really, France was nothing more than a needy whore.
(Uh check my flow, aw)
The waiter just took my table,
And gave it to Jessica Simps, SHIT!
I guess I'll go sit with drum boy,
At least he'll know how to hit!
What if this song's on the radio,
then somebody's gonna die!
I'm gonna get in trouble!
My ex will start a fight!
na na na na na na na he's gonna start a fight!
na na na na na na na we're all gonna get in a fight!
England strolled into a favorite restaurant of his, Hawksmoor Seven Dials. They served steaks that could feed a family of starving bears, unlike the dainty, prissy places France liked.
England walked in, and made for the table that was permanently reserved for him- he liked to go to Hawksmoor to grab a drink more often than not.
England suddenly found himself rudely shoved aside by a busty blonde woman with an entourage of paparazzi.
"Jessica!" One of them yelled, and as England stared in shock at the heavily pregnant woman, he recognized Jessica Simpson, one of America's music artists. What in hell was she doing here?
Oh hell no. She did not just do that.
Jessica Simpson sat at England's table. No one sat at England's table.
Furious, England turned and bumped into an elderly, brown-haired man. They both swore, apologized, then recognized each other.
"Richard!" England exclaimed happily and the two men embraced. "How are you?"
"Great, man. You?" Richard grinned and the two of them made their way over to a table.
"Fucking awful. But enough about me- what are you doing here? I thought you were a vegetarian." England ran a ring-covered hand through his hair, still angry over France.
"They make a mean salad here, plus the cocktails are fantastic."
"True." England had to agree, though he really almost never ate anything but the meat.
"So, mate, what's got you down? Is it France again?" Richard lowered his voice on the last part- he knew England was a country, an explanation had been a bit unavoidable when England hadn't aged at all in the 30 plus years they'd known each other.
"Yeah. Bloody git ran out on me. No note, no nothing."
"Look, mate, just make up with him. You've managed the past thousand years, haven't you?"
"Yeah, but..."
"You've been together since 1126."
"Yeah, well, I'm still not over 1327."
"Aw, come on, Scottie apologized!"
"France never did."
"Did I need to?"
~England~EPOV~England~
France's silky voice interrupted our conversation. I whirled around and glared at him, shocked and angry. "I mean, it was during the Hundred Year's War-" I stood up, and slapped France across the face.
So, so what?
I'm still a rock star!
I got my rock moves,
And I don't need you!
And guess what-
I'm having more fun!
And now that we're done,
I'm gonna show you tonight!
I'm alright,
I'm just fine,
And you're a tool!
So, so what?
I am a rock star!
I got my rock moves!
And I don't want you tonight!
"Bâtard!" France yelled and hit me back. Richard sighed and got up, not wanting to be involved.
A few minutes later, we were outside, punching for all we were worth.
I slammed France down onto the ground, pinning his arms above his head.
"Why in hell did you leave?!" I screamed at him, rage swelling up in me. "I hate how we fight! We can never work!"
France yelled back, even angrier, if that was even possible.
You weren't there,
You never were.
You want it all,
But that's not fair.
I gave you life,
I gave my all,
You weren't there,
You let me fall!
"We?" He responded. "YOU are the problem! You weren't there for me- you never were! You want everything from me! It's not fair that I gave you my life, my heart, my country, my all- and all you can do is obsess over your latest fascination! You let me fall in love with you, and then you treated me like nothing!"
I was silent. I hadn't realized I'd hurt him that much.
So, so what?
I'm still a rock star!
I got my rock moves,
And I don't need you!
And guess what-
I'm having more fun!
And now that we're done,
I'm gonna show you tonight!
I'm alright,
I'm just fine,
And you're a tool!
So, so what?
I am a rock star!
I got my rock moves!
And I don't want you tonight!
But, thinking back... We really were the most dysfunctional couple I'd ever seen, and for everything I did to him, France payed back in full.
"I don't want you anymore," I said quietly.
"Just because you don't want me, cher, doesn't mean you don't need me," France replied. "After all, you are my dearest enemy, mon coeur."
"I'm fine without you!" I yelled, getting off him and walking away, spitting on the ground.
I hated it when he was right.
I didn't like him, but I loved him.
I didn't want him, but I needed him.
And he'd be back tonight, just like every night.
And I'd let him back- back into my heart, life, and bed, just like always.
No, no, no, no
I don't want you tonight,
You weren't there,
I'm gonna show you tonight,
I'm alright,
And you're a tool,
And you're a tool,
So, so what,
I am a rock star,
I got my rock moves,
And I don't want you tonight!
A/N: So... here comes the explanation, as promised!
1.) Richard is actually Ringo Starr, his real name is Richard Starkey. Old bastard's still alive, and 72. Looks about 50- incredible. seriously. 2.) During the reign of the Plantagenet dynasty, about half of France and all of England were under control of the same empire. The Plantagenet dynasty started in 1126. 3.) The Hundred Year's War started in 1337. In 1327 and 1453 there were very important treaties between France and Scotland regarding the war (they were allied against England during it) and according to Wiki, "There had always been intermarriage between the Scottish and French royal households, but this solidified the bond between the royals even further." You can guess what I'm implying, right? 4.) Hawksmoor Seven Dials actually exists. The menu is mostly meat (and it sounds delicious!) but they also have great reviews for their cocktails. It sounds like someplace an angry England, pregnant Jessica, and old Beatles drummer would end up. 5.) The country of England formed around 927, and France around 481, making France a few years older (which totes supports my "France tops" theory) and their awareness of each other's existance about a thousand years long, give or take a century. Fun quote from Wikipedia: And the "most dear enemy" quote is from the French author Jose-Alain Fralon, describing the British.
"In recent years the two countries [France and England] have experienced a very close relationship."
Oh honhonhon...
Hope you liked it!
Review/Fave!
XOXO, France