The rain outside wasn't what woke Lisanna as the pitter-patter was far too soft, but rather the gasping snores that the man she lied in bed with had. Not that there was anything wrong with him. No. This was just how he slept. Flailed out on the bed, tongue dangling to the side, he had the most violent of snores that one would think that he got no sleep at all.
But rather, the man was the most restful fellow in the guildhall, it seemed.
He was still a fright to behold in the dim lighting provided solely by the streetlamp outside his apartment window. It bled through the blinds and landed squarely on the face of the Fairy Tail's resident seith, highlighting not only his unruly haircut, but also the massive face tattoo that he sported. A freaky fellow even in slumber.
Bickslow would have liked that sentiment a lot, Lisanna was sure, if she expressed it to him. Instead, she only laid there in the bed that was littered with the quiescent wooden bodies of the man's babies who she wasn't too sure if they truly slept, or rather were in some sort of state of being shut off from the world.
The thought of that latter saddened her, but the idea of the former kind of struck her as eerie, sleeping even in death, so she mostly just tried not to think of it.
Actually, as she rested there, all she could think about was her sister.
"Are you sure?" she'd asked a good number of times throughout the course of the pair's relationship.
The whole thing had sparked between the pair only about six months previously. Lisanna had been ditched by her siblings after they all three made plans to spend time together (Elfman was drug off by Evergreen and Mirajane was called into work since the hall was getting slammed) and felt kind of down by it. Her intentions to get over this, however, were simply to go to the guildhall and have some fun with the other degenerates that rarely found their way into jobs.
It was before she made it through the entrance though that she ran into Bickslow.
He was very busy in some of the open area just beyond the Fairy Tail gates, getting chewed out by Evergreen and Freed about something. As he was turning to storm off though, apparently deciding for himself that he was finished with the Thunder Legion argument, he ran smack into Lisanna. It was enough of a shock to her that it threw her off balance a bit, but thanks to her catlike reflexes and uncanny ability to adapt to any and all situations (ha ha), she only stumbled slightly, but managed not to face plant.
A win in her book.
"Great job, Bickslow," Evergreen remarked as the seith, equally as slick on his feet it seemed, managed to not only not fall, but also, the second Lisanna found her own footing, cause her to actually fall as he tried to assist the person that needed no assisting and somehow managed to shove her down.
Cats only have, like, nine lives, after all.
From down on the ground, Lisanna figured that she'd far exceeded that amount.
"Why don't you just shut up then, Ever?" Bickslow complained as he shoved up himself, babies floating about in concern. "This has nothing to do with you."
Freed, now coming over to actually help the youngest Strauss sibling, only shook his head as he said, "Lisanna, please forgive Bickslow, he's merely-"
"A fuck up," Ever finished as she didn't move a muscle to help. Only hid her devious grin behind her fan as, predictably, that assertion got the rise she'd wanted out of her counterpart. "He's merely a fuck up."
"I am not!" And, before Freed could reach down, he moved to literally drag Lisanna to her feet. "See? I helped, didn't I?"
"Marginally," Evergreen retorted. "Per usual."
"You know what-"
"Are you alright?" Freed, however, was over their inward troubles. "Lisanna?"
She was a bit surprised, honestly, to have just been trampled and then, after finding her footing, thrown to the ground only to be manhandled back up, but other than that, sure.
"Confused," she remarked to the green haired man with a bit of a bemused smile. "But-"
"Lisanna, you don't blame me for running into you, do ya?" Bickslow was asking then, tongue falling from his mouth more out of anger this time as opposed to any sort of joy. Or maybe just second nature. That one seemed likely as well. "I didn't do it on purpose. And look! I helped you up."
"After," Evergreen added because she was just going to be that way that day, it seemed, "knocking her down in the first place."
"Lisanna doesn't care about that!" the seith insisted before, glancing at the woman, he asked, "Do you?"
In some idiotic way, fate was actually offering Lisanna up in that moment. Had she said anything else, regardless of the affirmative or negative, things would have just gone on like normal. She could have escaped the awkward rift that was bothering the Thunder Legion at the moment and just be on her merry way.
But this wasn't the case because she had a problem with seeing other people fight, especially people that she thought of as such great friends. And there was no stronger bonded team, in her mind, than the Thunder Legion. They shared more than just a love and veneration of Laxus. They truly seemed to cherish and enjoy the company of one another.
Still, she knew how at times, no matter how close you were to someone, every little thing they did could irk you. She lived with her two older siblings. She knew that love didn't always find itself being the opposite of hate. They could both coexist in a singular person rather comfortably.
That didn't mean that it didn't dishearten her a bit, to see them fight. It was so odd. Even as children they never truly seemed to find a distaste for one another. Just for those around them. They were best when they were together (though how this best factored into the sensibilities of others was up for debate…)
And if there was anything about Strausses that was without a doubt true, it was that they could not stand to watch what they perceived as an injustice, it had to be fixed.
And they way that they were picking on poor Bickslow just screamed injustice.
Well, sort of.
Lisanna, personally, had never been on the side of things that other women in the hall were with the man. He was known to be a bit...odd. And creepy. Yeah, she was pretty sure Lucy had used that word, actually when describing his actions. Even Mriajane, who could more or less get along with everyone, felt a bit off put by the man at times.
Rather fortunate or unfortunate, however, Lisanna had never gotten this vibe or experience from the man.
This was mainly rooted in her absence from the guild around the same time that he wasn't hanging around too often. He wasn't too much younger than her, but their ages never meshed well for them to interact much. When Bickslow was busy tormenting others, it was typically the kids more in his age range as he no doubt saw the likes of Lisanna or Natsu as too childish for his tastes. As they grew, he, Freed, and Evergreen found time wasteful if spent around the hall and missed out on a lot of the things the other children went through. Then, of course, there was that terrible two year period in which she was just gone.
She was back then, though, of course, but that meant little, honestly, in the grand scheme of things. Her place in the hall still felt a bit hollow in some ways and completely out of place in others. Not to mention, though Mirajane insisted it was just her getting down on herself, Lisanna was very aware that she was far from the most attractive woman in the guild. Far. She figured he probably bothered the others more for that reason than anything else.
It did, however, keep her from having such a sour taste in her mouth as she spoke up in his defense.
"It was just an accident," she told Evergreen and Freed with a nod of her head. "And you shouldn't call him that. A fuck up. He-"
"That's right!" Finally. Bickslow was tired of only having five disembodied voices to there to take up his cause. Freed and Evergreen though they were so smart and so wise and so much better than him and Laxus seemed think so as well and so what if he was going a bit crazy, it seemed, as he spent more and more time talking to the souls of his poor babies and less with other people, but if he was insane it was probably their fault because they'd been banding together against him recently and since when was that anyways? He liked teaming up against Ever with Freed far more. "I'm not, am I, Lisanna?"
"W-Well, I said they shouldn't call you it, but-"
"If someone like Lisanna can see that I'm definitely not a fuck up," the seith went on, "then how can you guys not?"
"Because she's completely wrong?" Evergreen asked as her fan fell a bit and she let the completely devoid of emotion face of hers show. "And doesn't know you in any capacity to make that sort of statement anyways?"
"What do you mean?" Lisanna hardly heard what the woman of stone said though and, instead, made a face at Bickslow. "Someone like me?"
He was busy glaring at his female counterpart then, but did break that just to glance at Lisanna and, with a shrug, said, "You know. Good. Clean. Normal."
Bickslow had just said a lot in a very short amount of time that caused Lisanna some pause. Clean was used in an odd way, but she could infer what meant given the other three. Good was a statement levied at her more straight and narrow path in the guild while it was normal that caused her the most problems. The assertion that anything in Lisanna's life was at all normal was shocking, if not downright misinformed.
Honestly, she was a bit offended by it.
Not that they took the time to care about it. While Lisanna was very interested in helping other guild mates, though they might not outwardly hate the others anymore, the Thunder Legion could still be pretty snobbish and self-centered in many ways.
Which is why they didn't notice her discontent or, for the most part, even that she stuck around listening to them.
They only went on for a bit longer, anyways. Freed took note of the time and exclaimed that he had somewhere important to be and, without him as an audience, gave Bickslow a parting shot and that was that.
Until Bickslow turned to storm off as well and ran smack into Lisanna once more.
That time they were both able to stay upright and the man only made a bit of a face as his babies floated about, questioning Lisanna about why she was being such a creeper.
The irony.
"Oi, Lisanna, didn't see you there….where you've been….this whole time?" Bickslow, who was known for his own tricks and scheme, was obviously suspicious of anyone else hanging about in the same ways he had a tendency of doing. "Were you spying on official Thunder Legion business? Huh?"
"Yeah," his babies cried as they circled her. "Huh?"
"No," she said slowly with a frown as, once more, she was forced to straighten her outfit a bit. With a bit of a frown, she said, "I actually had something that I wanted to say to you. And it's kind of hard, you know, to accuse someone of spying when you guys are out here, in the middle of the guild grounds, arguing loudly-"
"Oh. I'm such a klutz." And he shook his visored head down at his feet. "You're all mad that ran into you, huh?"
"Mad's a harsh word. And anyways, not exactly-"
"I'll make it up to you," the seith decided then and his babies, as the notion, cheered for some reason. Lifting his head, she couldn't meet his eyes given they were shaded behind his visor, but she did stare in that direction. "I know. Let's say you and I get out of here, huh?"
"W-What?"
"Pretty chick like you," he said with a wide grin and some finger wagging, "why, I could make things up to you real quick, I bet."
It was only once she felt a deep sense of dread fall over her that it occurred to Lisanna that this was it. This was what all the other girls in the hall were always talking about.
Finally, she was getting perved on by Bickslow.
She wasn't nearly as thrilled as it may sound.
Actually, she was truly freaked out by it and felt that icky sense of dread the others always talked about.
Lisanna wanted to end that conversation at the soonest available interval.
But…
It was something nagging in the back of her mind. She definitely was not enjoying the attention that Bickslow was giving her, but what he'd said before, in front of the others, kept her from just fleeing into the hall and the safety of others.
Because Lisanna wasn't normal.
She wasn't clean.
She might be good, she might not. Who knew?
No one. Because they never spent the time to truly get to know her enough to find out. Other than, like, her actual friends. Natsu and Happy. And Lucy too. The others though? They mostly just saw her as Mirajane's little sister or the sister that poor Elfman killed or the one that came back from the dead.
She was the extra Strauss, no doubt about it.
Whether or not these beliefs were true, whether or not people truly thought of her that way, was irrelevant in that moment as, for whatever reason, Lisanna felt as if they did. And it lead her to believe, for some asinine reason, that she needed to prove to Bickslow that this wasn't true.
Although, honestly, when examined, this wasn't too crazy of a jump.
Lisanna didn't want people to think she led such a normal boring life and, of all the people in the guildhall that were the polar opposite of normal, Bickslow had to be high upon the list. If she could convince him that she was neither good, clean, or normal, then clearly, that would prove it.
Definite evidence.
No chance of offering any other proof.
Which is why she swallowed down all of her natural instincts to run for the hills after Bickslow's little statement and instead boldly told him, "Yes. Let's."
That threw the seith off, of course, as he'd been prepped for her to call him a name and flee. Having any other sort of answer to that question stumped him, for a moment. And even then, once he realized what had been said, he was still stumped as he had no idea where to go from there.
Never, in the history of him saying such outlandish things to women, had he ever been taken up on his offers.
It could actually be argued that it was his desire for no one to. That he said such rude and terrible thing to people in order for them to be disgusted and revolted. He didn't want women to actually respond positively to what he said. Where would be the fun in that?
Well, apparently, he was going to have to find one because Lisanna fucking Strauss had just called his bluff and, on that shit day that he was having at the moment, Bickslow was gonna make her pay for it.
"You really wanna get out of here with me?" he asked as his babies stopped cheering and instead just hauntingly hanging about. "You sure?"
In her deluded sense and need to be recognized as something other than normal ol' clean Lisanna?
"I'm sure."
Bickslow, at first, considered taking her somewhere to get a drink or the bazaar, and freaking her out somehow in one of those places. But no, as they walked along and he naturally headed towards a certain section of town, he knew exactly where he was going to take her. The one place that she'd be freaked out to go without him even doing much work at all.
They both stood there for a few moments, outside of the rundown apartment building, neither too sure what was to come next.
Eventually, Lisanna only glanced to her side and asked, "So are we going up or what?"
Or what was, without a doubt, not an option.
Bickslow was so fucking mad at himself. Why wasn't it working? What was he doing wrong? Why wasn't she fleeing in fear from the terrible werido that Bickslow was?
Was the woman daft?
No, seriously, was she? He'd feel a bit bad for picking on her if she was.
As they keyed into his dirty filthy apartment, he decided that if she wasn't, she was surely suicidal. Something. Was that it? She wanted him to hurt her? Or did she just believe that there was no way that he ever would?
Did the idiot honestly think that he was interested in showing her a good time?
Or oh, grosser, a 'good' time?
The questions were all too much for the seith, it seemed, as he immediately went over to his coffee table and, falling to his knees on the floor before it, began his typical just home from a stressful day of being stupid Freed and Evergreen's jokes routine, and immediately began to roll a smoke.
As Lisanna, perfect stupid little Lisanna, stood above him, now completely out of her element and, if the facial expression she was making told him anything, he only gave her a dark look back and asked a simple question.
"You smoke?"
The answer was no of course and he only took to muttering to himself at it before getting up, the rolled paper stuck in his mouth, and began to look for his movie lacrima.
Whatever the fuck she was doing there, he didn't care anymore. He needed something to calm himself the fuck down and stat.
It was so surreal, honestly, as Bickslow set up his movie lacrima and, still ignoring her, went to turn off the light he'd flicked on as they came in and pulled the blinds tight. Then he fell onto the floor once more and, turning the thing on, they were welcomed to the sound of fanciful, old time music as the imagines showed a classical comedy from the silent era playing. Lisanna wanted to ask if he honestly found enjoyments out of these sorts of things. Or were the old ones all he could afford?
Taking a glance around the place, she figured the answer could go either way.
"Ain't you ever gonna sit down?" Bickslow, it seemed, was growing more annoyed by the moment. "Or are you just gonna stand there being rude?"
She didn't want to sit on the floor.
'
She didn't want to be there.
But she'd made it that far and…
And Lisanna was more than just good, clean, and normal.
She wasn't so certain she was sitting on a floor in the middle of the day, smoking and watching old movies, but that didn't make her boring.
Or normal.
Gosh, she hated the word normal.
When applied to her situation, at least.
It honestly felt out of place in Fairy Tail in general though.
When she sat beside him, Bickslow didn't seem to lose any more tension at all. But he didn't snap at her again and, for what felt like forever, they just sat there silently, watching the old movie playing.
Lisanna found little humor in it.
Bickslow knew the actions step by step.
But still, they watched.
It was only once that film ended that the movie lacrima shut down and they were in true darkness then. As they sat there and Lisanna wondered what was next, if she should just get up and leave, Bickslow spoke.
"Lisanna, what the fuck are you doing here?"
It was a loaded question, to say the least. And as she struggled to figure out how to tell him, Bickslow went on past it.
"Don't you get it?" he asked with a frown down at her. "I'm a freak, Lisanna. A creep. I asked you something shocking and disgusting and you stupidly went along with it. I can control what other people do. I posses their souls. I could strip down naked right now and you couldn't even fight me back. Is that not concerning to you? In the slightest? Why would you go somewhere with me? A fuck up? A complete fuck up? And talking to inanimate objects because my real friends think that I drink too much and smoke too much and you're not a kid anymore, Bickslow, so stop acting so immature. Pay your rent on time. Do you even go on jobs on your own anymore? Don't you care anymore, Bickslow? Do you care about anything? Huh? Do you? Lisanna? Do you care about anything? Or do you just think about yourself? Why, you're no better than when Elfman punched you, huh? Still doing risky, stupid shit for stupid reason. You haven't grown at all. No one ever grows at all. We just stay exactly the same as we've always been. We're such fuck ups. We're all such fuck ups."
The silence felt heavy then and Bickslow's dolls had long since settled down, falling to random places around the tiny living room. It eerie and Lisanna felt wrong, that day, being there.
She'd clearly just seen something she shouldn't have.
Something struck her though, deep inside, as he finished what he'd said. Not just the stupid comment he made as a throw away, wild punch about her past, hoping to no doubt get some venom out of her. It didn't. It all just made her really sad to hear.
"I came," she began softly as she raised her eyes to look into the shadow where his hid behind a mask, "because I know that you won't do anything to me, Bickslow. You're not going to control me or try to possess my soul. You'd never do that."
"How do you know that?"
"Because you're not a fuck up." She smiled a bit, at that, before shrugging a bit. "And no one thinks you are. Except you. And the second you stop doing that, the second Evergreen will leave you alone about it."
As she got to her feet, Lisanna decided then that it wasn't her own desire to prove herself to him that had caused her to go so out of her way to do so, but rather the original reason that she stuck around the Thunder Legion and their dumb strife in the first place.
Lisanna was a Strauss.
Perhaps the least mentioned.
Perhaps the least loved.
But she was still a Strauss.
And when they saw a friend in need, they helped. All guild members were friends and the problems they faced were never something to take lightly,.
Even when they were creepy freaks that seemed to get off on turning others off.
She still didn't want to be clean or good or normal, but just in providing the amount of support to the man she hardly knew, honestly, proved she at least wasn't one of those.
And the others weren't so bad.
If Bickslow was deeming you then, there was a good chance you weren't really either; probably just seeming so to him.
He was a freaky creep, after all.
But he was still a freaky creep with feelings. And what Lisanna had just said to him made feel a little better.
It was why, once she was at the door, he called out to her.
"Hey, Lisanna?"
She paused some, glancing over her shoulder. "Yeah?"
"Just...I should be more careful. With where I'm going. Running into other people's not too cool."
"No," she agreed with a soft smile. "It's kind not."
When she arrived back at the guildhall and told Mirajane all about what had taken place, she was peppered with all sorts of questions as well as fed a few cautionary tales, but mostly, her sister was just pleased in that moment that she'd helped the seith out.
"And you're sure?" Mirajane asked with a bright smile. "That you really got to him?"
"I think so."
"That's so great," Mira complimented. "It's not everyday you get a chance to brighten someone's day up like that."
It's not everyday that you ran into someone like Bickslow, so yes, Lisanna definitely agreed with that sentiment.
She didn't see Bickslow again for another week. When she did though, up at the hall, filling in shifts for her sister, the man keyed in on her immediately and left behind his friends just to come over and grin at her.
"When someone's right," he said loudly as she only blinked at him in confusion from behind the bar, "they're right!"
"Uh….what?"
"I told Evergreen flat out that I was a fuck up."
"That's not-"
"Now she doesn't even say it to me! Just shakes her head and sighs. You ever realize that you're the true visionary of the Strauss siblings, Lisanna?"
That was enough to get her goat, it seemed, as Lisanna forgot all about informing him that he'd done the exact opposite of what she'd told him and instead focused on his compliment.
"Well," she said slowly, as if thinking deeply on the subject, "not really, but I could definitely see how you might think that-"
"You know, I was thinking."
"-considering I did help you and Mira wouldn't have done that well, I don't think, and definitely not Elf, so I guess I am-"
"Me and you should get a drink or something sometime. Share our souls. We have a connection."
"-the true visionary of the Str- What did you say?"
"Me and you, kid," he said, gesturing from him to her. "I felt something."
"Uh-"
"We had a connection, yeah? No one else has ever done that for me before. Called my bluff. Sat around and watch movies with me. Had a smoke."
"Been a real friend to you, you mean?"
"You say friend, I say undoubtedly a stalker."
"I didn't stalk you there."
"Felt that way."
"Well, okay, then why are you asking me to hang out again?"
"As an expert stalker myself-"
"What?"
"-game respects game." He even nodded his head. Then, reaching up to push his visor up some, he looked her dead in the eyes for the first time in her life and asked her, "So what do you say, kid? You wanna go on a date with me?"
The resounding five voices that sang out, "What do you say? What do you say? Go out on a date?" were as haunting as they were unconvincing.
Lisanna had never been asked out before.
And she hoped to never be asked out again if that's how people went about it.
She was in such shock and stuck, almost, with an inability to comprehend what the man had just said to her, causing her to respond in the only way she knew how to a request.
"Yes."
"Alright." Letting his visor fall, the sieth snickered a bit before saying, "I'll be back by later tonight, huh? "
Then he and his eerie dolls were gone and Lisanna wasn't too sure what had just happened, but it felt far less than normal or clean or good or anything of the sort.
"You're sure?" Mirajane asked when her sister informed her of this later that day. "Lisanna? Bickslow? He asked you out?"
"Yep," the younger sister said with a nod of her head as Lucy, who'd been sitting around upon hearing this from Lisanna, just waiting for the seith to show back up because she too was in such shook, snickered a bit at the face her best friend made in return.
Mirajane, clearly, was full of disbelief.
"I heard him," Cana assured Mirajane from further down the bar where, glancing up from her mug, she shook her head a bit down at them. "The little freak got all giddy about something she'd done for him and came to ask her out."
"And to think I missed it," Happy complained from where he was in Lucy's lap, still pouting over this fact. "I'll never forgive myself. Once in a lifetime and I miss it."
They were all there though, now the ones being far more creepy, when Bickslow showed back up for her. Lisanna met him at the guildhall door, grabbing his arm and running him right back out of it, as to avoid anything her sister or friends might have to say to the man. She still wasn't so sure that it was what she wanted, a date with him, but she knew that she definitely didn't want a big scene made about it.
"So?" she asked once they were outside the property gates and had set off. "Where are we going?"
"Where else would we go, Lisanna?" he questioned right back and, unfortunately, she found that he meant they'd go the only place they'd ever been alone together.
His apartment.
They watched a different movie that time, though it was still a silent era comedy, and he didn't offer her a smoke, though he did light himself right up, but something felt different that time. For some reason, Lisanna felt less at ease while Bickslow seemed more at it. He laughed loudly at the scenes he knew by heart and even had popped some popcorn, just for the occasion.
After the movie ended though and he moved to put another in, Lisanna had to used the break to her advantage.
"Is this a date?" she asked him with a frown. "It...feels like we're just hanging out."
He paused at that, glancing over at her from where he was rifling through a box filled with movie lacrima films. "Did you want to do something else?"
"W-Well-"
"Great!" He produced a a film then and held it high. "This one next."
It was bizarre. The whole thing was bizarre. Lisanna was beginning to wonder if she was just dreaming the whole thing. She wasn't sure. Of anything.
Maybe she should have told Mirajane that and let her older sister sort the whole thing out…
After awkwardly sitting there through the second movie, Lisanna was rewarded with not having to sit through a third. Instead, as they sat there in the darkness for a few moments, Bickslow seemed to think a bit before speaking.
"So, uh, we done here? Or did you wanna-"
"I think this was a good first...whatever this way." And she was quick to get to her feet, as to not miss her chance. "Bickslow. I'll, uh, I'll see you around."
But he was already busy rolling another smoke and it was actually his babies that called out goodbyes to her and, well, that was definitely an experience.
The others were all waiting back at the guild for an update.
"So?" Mirajane asked first as, upon sitting up at the bar, Lisanna was surrounded by the interested parties. "How did it go?"
"I...I think it went okay."
"You think?" her sister huffed a bit. "Are you not sure?"
Nope.
Definitely not.
"He didn't try to get fresh with you, did he?" Happy asked from where he was now standing on the bar, munching on some fish. He paused that though. Just for her. "Lisanna?"
"What," Lucy asked with a bit of a smile at the feline, "would that entail?"
"Well, I don't know. Whatever getting fresh means, I guess, Lucy."
"What would you do if he had?"
"Are you on Bickslow's side or something? Why are you questioning me? When you should be questioning him?"
"We just sat around and watched movies on his lacrima," Lisanna told them all then as, frowning even more heavily, Mirajane found a new line of questioning.
"His movie lacrima?" she asked. "You went to his apartment?"
"Uh-huh."
"On the first date?"
"Uh-huh."
"And then just sat around and watched a movie? You didn't do anything else? At all?"
"Well, we watched two movie, but-"
"And you're sure that he asked you to go out on a date? And not to just, I don't know, be friends or something?" her sister asked with a raised eyebrow. "Lisanna?"
"I mean, that's what he said."
To that, her sister merely sighed and got back to work, a bit disappointing in the entire thing. She'd worked up a whole date in her mind that the type of guy Bickslow would take her poor, innocent sister on and that was not at all close to how she imagined it to go.
Mira felt cheated.
Lisanna, however, was ready to put the whole thing behind her. Their date had only lasted a few hours and, with Lucy and Happy already around, she knew Natsu would be too and that meant they could all go out and do something together. Something to replace whatever….that was that had happened back at Bickslow's apartment.
Her inward conflict arose once more, however, about a month later he arrived back from of a job and upon coming into the hall, she was the first person that he talked to.
She wasn't working that day, but was sitting around with Levy instead, getting some help with a complex magical spell in a book when he came to just stand over them, silently. His eyes were on Lisanna though and, after glancing between the two, Levy excused herself to the safety of where Gajeel was very busy complaining to Mirajane about the lack of scrap metal there was to find around the guildhall in those days while she informed him none of that had been scrap at all and he was accumulating a rather large bill for damages and Master wanted her to put a stop to it.
Over with Bickslow and Lisanna though, there was a lot less words and much more silence.
"Lisanna," one of his dolls sang as they all floated about idly. "Date Papa?"
Bickslow though stayed silent for a good few more seconds before saying, "Did you wanna come over then, Lisanna? Tonight?"
"Uh-"
"Great." He even gave her a thumbs up in the affirmative. It was almost comical. But most things about the seith were almost comical. Just fell short of the mark. "I have to do some things with Freed and Evergreen for about an hour, but I'll come back for you. Or we could just meet at my place. If you wanted."
"I..."
Lisanna thought she should tell him no. That whatever they were doing wasn't fun for her or interesting and she wasn't even quite sure it was dating, either. And if it was then, hey, it had been nice, but she really wasn't missing out on much and would like to just go back to her life of not having to deal with that sorta stuff.
But…
It wasn't like Lisanna felt an obligation to him. And she certainly knew how to use her words. The man wasn't pressuring her. She could just flat out tell him no. It was possible.
And yet….
"Okay." She even nodded at him. "An hour?"
And his grin didn't seem a devious as it typically did. "An hour."
Happy, however, did not find he liked this idea much.
"He's probably scoping you out," he complained as Lisanna went to relay all of this to Lucy and, by proxy, the nearby Natsu and Happy. "To murder you."
"Happy, what?" Lucy asked with a frown over at him while Natsu only got excited over the whole thing and laughed a bit.
"Want me to fight him, Lisanna?" the slayer asked, holding up a flaming fist that narrowly missed hitting a passing Mirajane. "I'll take him right out!"
"Are you guys talking about Bickslow?" the barmaid asked as she came to a stop. She was a bit frazzled after her disagreement with Gajeel (he claimed all metal was scrap metal if you think about it and really thrown her for a loop; she'd have to get back to Master on that one…). "Did he- Oh, Lisanna, you didn't-"
"I don't wanna be lectured about it."
"He's probably going to kill her," Happy said with a shake of her head. "Or at least try. You can take him though, Lisanna. Lucy did once and, well, he can't be that tough then, can he?"
"Excuse me, cat?"
"Lucy, I'm saving her life."
"If you're so worried," Mira told the Exceed with a bit of a frown, "you might as well go. You might as well all go. It's not a real date anyways."
"Mira-"
"It's not, Lisanna."
After being explained to that, no, he could not fight Bickslow, Natsu got less thrilled about going and Lucy never had any intent of it, but Happy was all gung-ho about going. He had to protect Lisanna, after all. By which he meant, when the going got tough, he was going to fly her straight out of there.
Bickslow didn't seem displeased with his intrusion either.
"Ah, you brought your cat to play with my babies," he said with a nod as he let them in. "Smart thinking, Lisanna."
At that point, Lisanna was questioning if she was smart at all. And if so, why was it that she couldn't figure out exactly what was going on?
Happy too was questioning just about everything.
Until Bickslow gave him his own bowl of popcorn and wow! Lisanna could definitely date him. What a thoughtful guy.
And, when that two movie quota was met, Bickslow gave them a slight wave while his babies cried out their goodbyes.
"That was great, Lisanna," Happy told her as she walked him back home to he and Natsu's little rundown house. "You should definitely date Bickslow as much as possible! He has my blessing."
For some reason, that did little to do away with any of her misgivings.
"Thanks," she sighed regardless, "Happy."
It was the third time that he approached her, this time only a few days later, that Lisanna found some of her own footing.
"I don't want to watch what you want to watch," she told him which made him frown a bit. "I should be able to bring my own movie and we should watch that."
She couldn't see his eyes from their shaded position behind his mask, but she was sure that they turned to a glare for a few moments before, with a shrug, the seith agreed.
"Lisanna, why are you doing this?" Mirajane asked her that time quite pointedly. "Are you even enjoying yourself? Are you sure? Because-"
"You date who you date and I'll date who I date."
It was in that specific date though that they found a new standard as, though Bickslow wasn't a fan of the noir Lisanna brought, he did suffer in relative silence, much as she did with his films. Then, when they were both finished with, they went there separate ways again and Lisanna was beginning to wonder if the was ever going to try and kiss her or something because that felt like a big part of dating, but she was too fearful to ask Mirajane what it meant that he wasn't doing such a thing because then she'd only get teased once more by her sister and oh, she was catching it, wasn't she? Osmosis from just being around one another? Now she rambled just like the seith.
It was that next time though, a week or so later, when Bickslow got them takeout instead of just popcorn and, over it, they sort of had a conversation. He made her laugh, at least, once. But other than that, it was pretty standard for them.
One day the hall though, it wasn't the seith that approached her from the Thunder Legion. Rather, it was the other two.
Freed stood over where she sat alone, going over the guild finances that Mirajane asked her to check, while Evergreen pressed two palms down on the table she was at and leaned down to stare the other woman in the eyes from the other side of her glasses.
The tension was felt immediately.
"Look, girlie," the other woman said in that dripping, terrifying tone that she had, "I don't know what you think that you're doing with Bickslow, but you better knock it off."
"W-What?"
"Lisanna," Freed said from where he stood with his crossed arms. His tone was much softer and his approach wasn't nearly as intimidating. "If this some sort of...game, we do not appreciate it. Bickslow truly believes that the pair of you are…friendly with one another."
"We are."
"Lisanna-"
"Freed, I'm not lying."
"You better not be." That came from Evergreen who, after one last glare, shoved up to stand straight once more. "Because if you hurt him, you'll be real sorry."
Lisanna had no idea what to do after this occurred. No one else seemed to see it and going to Mirajane about it would just mean that Elfman would find out and he and Evergreen had something weird going on, but something going on all the same, and she didn't want to make him upset that the woman had just threatened her, and Natsu was out because he'd just pick a fight with them over it and, oh, wow, Bickslow wanted another date that night.
Great.
It was during a down period where he was picking his movie from the box of them that, in the darkness, Lisanna spoke.
"Your friends came and spoke to me today."
"Friends?"
"Evergreen and Freed."
That got the seith to pause some before he went back to his digging. "Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"What'd they say?"
"They think I'm...being mean to you or something, by going out with you. That it's just all some big ruse."
"Is it?"
"I don't… You're the one who always asks me out, Bickslow."
"Yeah," he agreed as, glancing over at her, he said, "But you always say yes."
"That's true."
"If you didn't want to do this, you could just say no."
"I know."
"I'm not...mind controlling you, if that's what you think."
"I don't think anything." And that was true. "About this. I'm just telling you that they think that I am."
"They're dicks."
"They care about you."
He didn't answer to that one, but, pulling a specific film out, he flipped the cartridge in his hands a few times, thinking. Softly, he said, "Why do you keep saying yes, Lisanna?"
"What?"
"The first time, you called my bluff. What are you doing now?"
His babies didn't even repeat him that time. Just remained silent as she was presented with the conundrum at hand.
And Lisanna had waited so long for some to flat out ask her that, to not just try and dismiss her like Mirajane had been, that she more or less gushed out everything that she'd been holding about the whole situation.
"I don't know," she admitted softly into the darkness. "I guess...the first time that you asked, I was just doing that. Calling your bluff. And I didn't… They were being so rude to you, Ever and Freed were. And I didn't want you to think that you were actually that. A fuck up. That's not… And then when you came to me in the hall, I kind of… I don't know what I'm doing, Bickslow. I don't understand why you keep asking me out. I don't understand why we're doing this. I've never...dated a guy before. I don't even think that's what we're doing. I-"
"Why not?"
"Huh?"
"Why," he repeated, "is what we're doing not dating?"
"I dunno. We're not going out and enjoying ourselves or getting to know one another or-"
"I'm getting to know you."
"How? If we're just sitting in the darkness for a few hours every week?"
"I know that you don't smoke. I know you don't really like these movies that I make you watch, but you do it anyways. I know that you like your popcorn with lots of salt and I know that you like detective flicks. I know that your cat thinks of you as his mother or something and was scoping me out. And I know I passed. I know what you want from the place we get takeout. I know that you're nice enough to oblige me these past few weeks. I know that...that you have to like me a bit, don't you? Kid? Why else are you here?"
It caught her then, by surprise. The fear that she had inside that she knew exactly why she was there. The same reason she was there in the beginning. Because she felt the need to fix whatever it was that was going on in Bickslow's life and it was so fucking wrong, wasn't it? She'd led on, hadn't she? What terrible thing to do. And why? For own need to nose her way into things?
But as she considered that, she knew that couldn't be true because, though it did have some grounding in the fact that she'd convinced herself she'd gone over to fix him. To let him know that he wasn't so fuck up that Ever and Freed could knock around. Then he came back to the hall and was still calling himself that and there was a chance that she'd only been doing this for so long to see the original mission through.
But…
It was complex. Life was complex, but even when you took the small parts of it and examined them, sometimes they never rightly felt whole on their either. The pieces make the puzzle, but the puzzle fit another puzzle because it was also a piece and you only ever figured out what what you were truly doing when you examined the thing as a whole. Not a part.
And, at first, she'd been able to justify her reasoning for following him that day as a way of proving her worth as something more that good, clean, normal Lisanna, but when that fell through she found another reason to claim that she was there. That it was just to fix him. And, when once more, that didn't work because she continued to find herself around him, she decided that while she didn't know why she was there, certainly there was a reason. And here he was, offering her up a chance to claim that it was still only an attempt to make him realize that he had worth and he had value, but that pretending to have feelings someone offered none of that.
She wasn't there for that.
Was she?
Something in her chest, something her heart, told her that it was deeper than that. That she couldn't just scratch the surface with this one and find her answers. Most of her life had just been face value. But this…
She could equate it to uncertainty or a desire to help others, but overall…
"They're probably fucking right, aren't they?" Bickslow speaking again because she'd taken too long to answer, it seemed and, tossing the movie back in the bin, he hung his head some. "Freed and Ever? You're not here because you like, are you? Or doing this? Fuck. Fuck. They didn't put you up to it, did they? To have someone here with me? Huh? Is that what this is? They think I'm losing, but I'm not losing it. Me and my babies, the reason that we like to spend so much time alone together is just because they get me. Freed and Evergreen just don't anymore. They don't want to come around anymore. Sometimes I want to sit in the dark and just to talk or be around someone that gets me. What's wrong with that? Huh?"
That time, he'd asked a question she could answer and, from her mouth came the best one there was.
"There's nothing wrong with that. Bickslow."
"Shut up. Just shut up and go. Just-"
"I stay here, I come over here, because I… I can't explain it," she admitted. "I don't get this butterfly feeling in my stomach from being around you."
"Lisanna, just leave."
"I don't think about you all day, I don't think about what it would be like to hold your hand or to go places with you, but when we are together, when we're here, in your apartment, I just...I feel better about a lot of things. Or at least I don't think about them. I don't think about the guildhall or what I'm doing there or if I'm talented enough to be there. I don't worry about how many jobs I take or get scared of what it means if I'm not."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm trying to say that...I like being here," she told him then slowly as, even though his visor covered his eyes and the room was so dark, she felt as if she was staring right into them. "I like being with you. And there's nothing wrong with just wanting to sit in the darkness with another person and say everything or say nothing. And there's definitely wrong with doing it with your babies. They're people too."
His head fell once more and he staring into the box, but softly, eventually, he said, "Thank you. Lisanna."
"I worry sometimes too, you know?" she asked him as, slowly, she pushed up a bit and scooted over to where he was. "That I'm...different. Now. That something's wrong with me. Since I got back Edolas, I… I think about how different things would have been if I'd never gone away and I know that it's much better I didn't. Elf and sis changed so much for the better and Natsu and Happy and… But was it good that I came back too? I came back a different person as much as they've changed into different people, but how do you mesh things that previously fit so well back together when they've been morphed by separate events? I wonder sometimes if I even belong at Fairy Tail any longer, or if I'm just here habit. And if I am…if am...then what does that mean? Why can no one ever tell me what it means?"
Bickslow had raised his head once more and he was taller than her, as they were both on their knees, but softly he spoke right to her as he said, "You belong, Lisanna, where you wanna belong. That's why no one else can tell you an answer. Because it's your decision and your life."
As she let a breath and nodded, she whispered, "Thank you. Bickslow."
Lisanna never...kissed a guy before, not like, but when she reached up to push his visor away, it all felt so natural and real and had ever been in love before? Could she be then? Or was her inexperience just playing a trick on her?
They found there way, eventually, to their feet and he was leading her to one of the doors and she'd never seen the rest of his apartment before, but over the slight buzz that she was getting then, she did hear him ask softly, "Are you sure?"
For once, she knew the exact answer.
But when they were in his bed and she wasn't so sure, it fine because that wasn't where they were going or what they were doing it seemed as he only turned his head eventually rested it over hers and told her softly, "You belong."
Catching her breath and still a bit thrown by all that had gone on, she only breathed back, "So do you."
When she got home that night, Mirajane worried about her and had sat up waiting, but Lisanna only followed her older sister back to her bedroom where, as they fell into the bed, she didn't tell her everything, but she told her a lot. And most it didn't have to do with her night that she'd spent with the seith, but rather all the thoughts that she'd kept in for so long since returning.
And if it was all worth anything, it was certainly worth that.
Things changed little with Bickslow and Lisanna though as they fell into a just as easy rhythm as they had going before. They didn't always make out and she didn't stay over, but they did always watch two movies together when he invited her over and, once, she even invited him over to her house to do so with her siblings. Even though Elfman was a freak about it and Mirajane wasn't much better, it did give Lisanna a wonderful feeling in the pit of her stomach as she came to the same realization as she did that night as Bickslow's snoring woke up her and the rain was just soft enough to lull her back to sleep.
She wasn't sure of everything in her life, no one was, but being around him, hanging out with Bickslow, there was nothing of which she felt more certain.
This...grew, obviously, from what my original intentions were. I wanted to write some Bixanna all by itself and wasn't sure what I wanted from it and, somehow, I ended up with this. I'm not displeased. The normal course their relationship in my stories is typically built on Lisanna's insecurities and fears over life being leveled by Bickslow's cavalier approach to it. She finds safety in the fact that, though he's older than her, he still hasn't figured all his shit out yet either, but he's happy and finding his own path, so she's able to as well, only to find as time goes on that he has just as much baggage as her; he just hides it better. This, however, focuses the openness of Bickslow to his inadequacies and certain fears that he has that his friend are unable to guide him through. I don't think I've ever done one where he's so docile and reserved towards Lisanna, but I think that was the point of this. He need something and she has it (reassurance), while he has something and she needs it (understanding), and they both kind of meet in the middle.
I'm actually more proud of this than most my work with the two of them.
Anyways, I'm working on the next part of About Life and I'm trying to get back into Accidents and Incidents and Closure, there's just a lot there to reread and think about where I'm headed with the two, so just sit tight. Updates will come eventually.