And the Rest of My Life

Author: Stephanie Loss

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned here. If I did, the Buffyverse would be in real trouble. Oh, and I'd be a really rich guy, named Joss Whedon, or I'd be 20th Century FOX, in which case I'd kill myself for the betterment of the world at large.

Spoilers: Buffy episode "I Was Meant To Love You" and Angel episode "Reprise"

Summary: Buffy drags Dawn to L.A. for some Angelic comfort after the death of her Mom. Buffy has to bring back the old Angel and save Dawn from Glory and Darla.

Writer's Note: Thanks to Psyche's Transcripts and Fanfiction (www.studiesinwords.de) for supplying me with transcripts for the end of the episodes.

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Buffy Summers entered her home with a smile. She felt better than she had for days. A little perspective on a relationship gone bad really helped to make things better.

"Hey Mom!" She called out. Her smile grew. Buffy could hardly tell anymore that Joyce had brain surgery four months ago. Everything in her life was starting to fall into some kind of order again. She turned and saw a vase of flowers sitting on the table next to the door. Most likely from her Mom's date the night before. She carefully removed the card, "'Thanks for the lovely evening. See you soon? Brian.' Still a couple of guys getting things right." Buffy added after reading the card.

Buffy wanted to be wary for her Mom. Dating on the Hellmouth was a bad idea. After Joyce's last... Buffy couldn't bring herself to say boyfriend, turned out to be a robot who only cared about marrying Joyce, getting her to his "Bunker O Love, " as Xander had put it, and keeping her there until she died, wouldn't she get the idea that dating wasn't a safe thing to do?

Still Buffy couldn't say anything against her Mom dating. After everything the Summers women had gone through in the past year, Buffy couldn't begrudge her Mom a little fun.

Buffy replaced the card and called up the stairs, "Hey Flower-Getting Lady! Do you want me to pick up Dawn from school?" Buffy frowned at the silence. Where was Joyce? "Mom?" She called questionably into the direction of the kitchen. Still nothing. "Mom?" She turned towards the living room. "What are you doing?" She questioned her mother's leg, which is all of her mother she could see from around the couch.

She entered the living room and froze as she got a full view of Joyce. Joyce was crumpled on the couch, wide eyes staring blindly at the ceiling, an arm draped over the edge of the couch. Joyce was still.

"Mom?" Buffy asked quietly, fear entering her voice. "Mom?" She asked again, even quieter. This couldn't be happening. Everything had been going so well. "Mommy?"

She stumbled forward, hand reaching out for her mother's arm, tears forming in her eyes. Her fingertips touched her mother's skin. There was no mistaking the chill. In her destined vocation as Vampire Slayer, Buffy knew what Death felt like, and it covered her mother completely. Buffy jerked her hand back and hugged it against her chest. She backpedaled out of the room, across the entryway and into the dining room. She groped for the phone and punched in the numbers she knew by heart, while being blinded by tears. As the phone began to ring, she backed up into a corner and slid down to the floor.

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"Thank you for calling the Magic Box. How can I help you and make you spend even more money at my store?" Anya Emerson answered in her usual overly cheerful and tactless voice. She paused, face twisting into a confused look. She held the phone away from her ear, contemplated it for a moment, covered the mouthpiece with her hand and yelled out, "Giles, it's Buffy and she's quite hysterical." The tactless cheerfulness never leaving her voice.

Xander quickly sat up from lying face first at the study table in the middle of the store. The large leather-bound book falling from the back of his head as he quickly got up and raced for the desk. He took the phone from his girlfriend as Rupert Giles, owner of the Magic Box and Watcher of the Slayer walked out of the back room used to hone the Slayer's fighting skills.

"Oh my God." Xander said as he sat heavily on the desk.

"What is it?" Giles asked, concern in his voice.

"Joyce is... dead."

Giles stared as Xander talked quietly into the phone. What could have happened? Had Glory finally made good on her threats of attacking Buffy's family? Or had it been a complication of the surgery?

Xander quietly hung up the phone. "Giles, Dawn is still at school. I'm going to go get her, and take her to your apartment. Go to Buffy's. She's calling 911 now. She needs you there."

"Very well. Yes. Good." Giles muttered, his British heritage showing as he searched his pockets for his car keys.

Xander gave Anya a tight hug and a small kiss on the cheek, then followed Giles out the door. A small bell ringing their departure.

"Have a nice day!" Anya called out with a cheerful voice.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*% Giles sped to the 1630 Rovello Drive. All three Summers women meant a great deal to him. Buffy was the daughter he never had, Dawn had become a great deal more important to him since Buffy started her more rigorous training schedule. Joyce, oh Lord, Joyce. The feelings he had for Joyce... Joyce was quite a woman. She was the mother of a Vampire Slayer. A single mother with two daughters, fully in charge of running a moderately sized and fairly successful art gallery.

Now, she was gone.

And Buffy was alone in the house with her.

That thought alone made his foot press harder on the gas.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*% Xander paused outside Sunnydale Middle School. He was more than a little nostalgic. In high school, he, Buffy and Willow had been the Three Musketeers, or the Three Stooges, it just depended if they were being insulted by the school as a whole at that moment or not. But Buffy had replaced someone when she had moved to town, Xander's best friend, Jesse.

In elementary, but largely in middle school, Jesse, Xander and Willow had been inseparable. They had as many classes together as humanly possible, they walked into school together and left the same way. Then Buffy came and wasn't able to save Jesse from being kidnapped by vampires and then turned into one to be used as bait for the Slayer and her new friends. Xander had been holding the stake that Jesse had accidentally been impaled upon.

It had been five long years since then, but the memories still came back. There wasn't a death whose mention failed to remind him of how he lost his first childhood friend.

Xander shook his head, ran his fingers through his shaggy brown hair, then entered the building of his past to claim the youngest Summers.

%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*% Buffy was still huddled in the corner of the dining room. She could only see her mother's hand and knee from her position. Tears streamed openly down her face as she willed her mother to move. Why wouldn't she move?

"Buffy?" Giles entered the Summers's home cautiously. In the entryway, his gaze swept the room, and fixating on the sight of Joyce sprawled on the couch. He slowly approached the living room. Joyce. Had she suffered before she died? Her eyes were wide open and staring at the ceiling.

"She won't move." A young, tear stained voice called softly from the dimly lit dining room. Giles quickly turned, finally seeing Buffy. She barely resembled the powerful and self assured woman he knew. "I've been so good, but she won't move. Is she mad at me?" Her voice sounded much younger than her twenty years.

"Oh, Buffy." Giles kneeled in front of her, and wrapped his arms around her. She buried her face in his shoulder and a new onslaught of tears ran rivers down her red cheeks.

"Dawn!" Buffy's head jerked up at the sound of her younger sister's name being yelled outside. She shakingly found her feet as her little sister flung the front door open.

"Buffy! Where's Mom?" The fourteen year old didn't miss the minute glance her older sister made towards the front room. Dawn lurched toward the front room.

"Dawn, don't." Buffy said reaching for Dawn.

Xander took Buffy's outstretched hand. "She needs this, Buff."

Buffy walked toward her sister, almost fascinated with her reactions. Dawn's hand had crept up to her mouth, her other arm was clasped around her stomach. She slowly approached her mother. Dawn made it to the end of the couch closest to the door before her legs gave out from under her.

Buffy sat down next to her sister, put one arm around her shoulder, and moved her sister's gaze away from their mother, then moved her sister's head to her shoulder. "Shush, Dawn. I'll make everything okay. I promise."

The paramedics arrived. Giles pulled Xander aside. "I thought you were going to take Dawn to my apartment."

Xander touched his still slightly red cheek and kept his eyes glued to the girls.. "I tried. You can't tell either of them a lie or 'no'."

The paramedics came and went. Giles thought the couch looked... wrong, as if it should look completely different now that it had supported Death. It was something Giles was somewhat accustomed to. When, as a soulless monster, Angelus left Giles a gift of the body of Jenny Calendar, a woman Giles was greatly in love with, in his bed. Giles had shunned his bedroom for weeks, entering only for clothing. He finally had the bed replaced and the entire room rearranged.

Giles put a comforting hand on his Slayer's shoulder. He knew this was going to be harder for her than anything she ever had to deal with. If the paramedic's initial conjecture in that Joyce's death had been a result of delayed complication to the brain surgery Joyce had undergone a few months go, and there were no supernatural forces at work, Buffy would have nothing physical to fight. Buffy had come to rely on having a supernatural villain to blame for great deal of "real life" problems.

When she contracted a flu that was killing children in the same hospital as she. She became aware of, fought, and killed the demon Der Kinderstod, Child death, while still heavily ill with the flu.

Yet this time, there was no chance of a supernatural cause, and Giles had no idea how his charge would react. True, she had matured greatly in the past few months, and she now had to care for and protect Dawn.

Buffy led Dawn upstairs and into her room, when she came back downstairs, Buffy stood in front of Giles. "We want to be alone for awhile." Her voice was slow and deliberate.

"All right, I'll go to the hospital and take care of everything I can."

"Thank you."

Giles nodded, and headed toward the door. Xander stepped forward, hugged Buffy, then followed the Watcher out the door. Buffy turned and sat down at the dining room table for a moment, trying to fully accept what happened. She then slowly got up, walked back up the stairs to her room, and started packing some clothes into a bag. "Dawn. Put some clothes in a bag. We're going to L.A."

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It was getting dark in L.A., the storm rolled in with the darkness, the far off crackle of thunder awoke Angel. He glanced swiftly at the blonde lying beside him, her back to him, one pale, smooth shoulder showing in the sparse moonlight. Buffy??? He thought wildly for a moment, then the memories came. No, not Buffy. Darla. His Sire, his once lover, his now enemy. He remembered the despair that had overcome him the night before, the agony his soul had crumbled under. At that point, he didn't care if he lost his soul. All he cared about was warming that frozen space inside of him. Darla had been there.

His soul.. His soul was still intact. Oddly enough, he wasn't very surprised. He had thought that making love only to Buffy would be the only true route to the true happiness that would negate the gypsy curse that returned him his soul.

Darla stretched, waking, she coyly turned over, wrapping the sheet around her body. "Good morning, lover." She fairly purred. Angel shuddered. Her voice, her words reminded him of the memories he carried of Angelus, his demon. How Angelus had used their one night of perfection to torment Buffy when he had first turned evil four years ago.

Darla stared up at him. "No. It's not possible. You're.. no.. How? I... I.. made sure... How could you still have your soul? It's not.. no."

Angel turned as she floundered, reaching for clothing and pulling on a pair of pants. Darla tore the shirt out of his hands. "No! We just have to wait. The soul will go. I know it will."

"No, Darla. And you know it. You'll never give me true happiness. I've said this all before. You never made me happy. You just satisfied my demon. That's all."

"I WON'T ACCEPT THAT!" She screamed.

The yell echoed through the old hotel, as Buffy and yawning Dawn entered.

"Stay here." Buffy commanded as she started to race for the stairs. Dawn curled up on a love seat near the door, falling asleep almost immediately.

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Buffy was almost lost in the Hyperion Hotel. She followed the shouts of anger and pain. When she reached the room the sounds were coming from, she found the door locked. She crashed against the door with her shoulder. Her entrance was unnoticed by the two inside. Angel was wearing his "game face", the deformed face a vampire showed when it attacked, or when it fed. The figure he was fighting seemed familiar. She had tightly wrapped the blue sheets around her body, and was fighting fairly decently despite her lack of real clothing.

The blonde figure turned, and Buffy saw her face. "Darla."

The blonde vampire's eyes widened, "You." She then fell as Angel's fist connected with her chin. Buffy stepped into the room, saw the mussed bed. She realized what had happened.. Somehow Darla had been brought back, how she had no clue, but she had made Angel lose his soul..

Darla got to her feet, ran for the door, shoving Buffy towards Angel.

"No!" Buffy screamed as she punched. She and Angel fell into the fight, both anticipating each other's move before it was made. Buffy had connected with Angel's chin as he swept a foot under hers. They both tumbled to the ground.

"Buffy..." He gasped.

She gazed up into his eyes, resisting the pull they always had.

"Angel?" She asked softly, on the verge of tears. "Is it.. it is.. you.. and not... Him..?"

"Buffy, oh god." He reached for her, and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her. "I, oh god. Buffy, what are you doing here?" She dissolved into tears at his questions. Through her tears she quickly told him of everything that had happened in the past few months, about her mother's illness, about her current enemy, everything.

"Buffy, it's all right. It's all right..." He held her as she cried, and contemplated the emotional upheavals he had since he had woken up. His mind had finally cleared of the cloud of anger. Being with Darla physically had finally freed him from the erotic dreams she used to trap him, and doubt his sanity. Now he had Buffy in his arms, and he remembered what he'd been living his life for the last 5 years. Her. She finally calmed in his arms, tears slowing to nothing.

"Angel, how is Darla alive?"

He sighed. This wasn't going to be easy to explain. "She was brought back by some lawyers.. who only have demonic, or just generally evil, clients."

"They brought her back to... turn you evil again?"

"That's what I think. But, Buffy, it didn't work. It was just.. there was no emotion there. No since I was with you. You're the only one I've truly loved in my 247 years. You're the only one I'll ever love, and until I can be with you again, I won't be with anyone else."

There was simple honesty in his voice awed Buffy even in her grief clouded mind. He MEANT every word he said. He meant it with the same will of character that had brought him back from Hell, the same guilt-fed spirit that kept him thinking of others and not himself. This was Her Angel. She noticed he was deliberating over saying something. She met his eyes with a confused look. "Buffy, there's something that I haven't told you about.. I found this prophecy. If I make up for all the evil I've done, The Powers That Be.. the higher power guiding the fight between good and evil," he quickly added at her confused look, "will give me back my humanity. I'll be human again." He looked expectant for her reaction. The second hurt appeared in her eyes, he added, "Buffy, I didn't want to tell you. You have a new life back in Sunnydale. You are in love with someone..., someone who loves you and wants to protect you. I couldn't ruin that for you. I don't know when I'll redeem myself."

"Why are you telling me this now then?" She asked quickly, her eyes dropping away from his.

"Because I've decided that I was wrong. It's your life I'm playing with Buffy, you should at least know what options you have."

Her eyes quickly sought his. Tears were glistening in the corner of her eyes again. "Riley's gone, Angel. He left me. Because I didn't love him enough, or needed him enough, or something. So he left. They always leave. Just like you did."

"I had to leave you, Buffy. It was for you. So you could have a chance at life, and not having your entire life revolve around darkness and fighting. I wanted everything for you that I could never give you."

Anger surged out of the Slayer. "You didn't get it! YOU STILL DON'T GET IT!! What's the use of a regular plain Jane life if I don't have you? I was never happy without you! When you left me, part of my soul left! Why can't you see what you did to me?"

Angel gaped. "Buffy.. I.. never thought... I should have... I'm.. I'm sorry." Buffy wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Don't leave me again. I need you, Angel."

"I won't. I promise."

"I love you." She said, and sighed, laying her head on his chest.

"I love you." He replied simply as Buffy gasped. "What?"

"Angel!" She grabbed on of his hands and pressed it against his chest. "Feel!"

His heart beat. He was alive.

Angel stared into Buffy's eyes with an odd mix of emotions. He brought his hands up to her cheeks. "God, Buffy. I've missed you so much." His lips softly caressed hers. She sighed and pressed hers to his, wanting more than a simple touch, needing more.

A thought started nagging in the back of Buffy's brain, she inwardly winced. She had Angel back, what could interfere with that?

"Dawn." She said softly.

"Who?" Angel replied, confused.

"My... um.. sister..."

"Buffy, you don't hav..."

She stopped him mid word, "I know. It's confusing, but she's downstairs, she's tired."

"We can set her up in one of the rooms for now."

"Okay, good plan." She looked at him. "One of us has to get up first."

He smiled down at her, then stood up in one fluid motion, bringing her with him. His smile widened when he realized that the Powers had left him both his vampiric strength and agility. He slowly lowered Buffy to the floor. "So HOW do you have a sister now?"