CURRENT LOCATION: Kazami Yuka's bathroom, Kazami Yuka's house, Garden of The Sun

Courier lifted his pale head up from the toilet's seat and glared down at his toxic regurgitation. "Ugh, that's pretty nasty."

You may be wondering what I'm doing in the bathroom of one of Gensokyo's most feared Youkai.

Well.

I have suzuran poisoning.

Now you may be wondering why I have that.

Well, it started out like this...

Garden of The Sun, 14th day of Hazuki

"This garden has grown quite a bit in my absence, hasn't it..." Courier muttered to himself, admiring the large sea of yellow from atop a nearby hill. The wind was rather violent today, tossing his hair and open vest around. He payed special attention to his hat, however, resting one hand on it's brim to keep it from flying off.

He sighed and looked back to stare at the brightly coloured house that had been built on the hill. Though it's exterior resembled a mere lodge more than anything, it's owner was far from unimpressive. Still, this house was nothing compared to her previous abode. Courier knew that much.

"...And you're really taking your sweet time in there. What the hell are you doing?"

As if in response to his complaining, the house's door suddenly swung open, revealing a very familiar green-haired face, clad in a red-plaid skirt, white button shirt, and a vest of the same style as her skirt. Though their overall styles of dress were similiar, Yuka's red-white colour scheme completely contrasted Courier's black-blue.

And, as if in response to the woman's sudden appearance, the gale that threatened to blow off Courier's hat had settled down to a lowly breeze.

"Oh my, look who it is! I'm honoured the Eternal White Rose has decided to pay a visit to little old me!" Yuka exclaimed happily, though the look in her red eyes denoted something other than joy.

Courier scoffed half-heartedly. "I bet you knew I was here from the very start and just hung around in there to test my patience." He accused, though with no real offense behind his tone.

The incrimination garnered a giggle out of the youkai. A sound that would scare village children into insanity.

"Would I really do such an impolite thing as make a guest wait? Really now!" She answered lightly, twirling the pale-pink parasol she had in her right hand.

Courier didn't answer. He knew reacting with what he had in mind would result in getting his arms ripped off and taped to his rear end.

"Well, Courier? What have you come for?" She asked with half-open eyes and a small, misplaced-looking smile across her face.

"...The same things I come for every time I visit." He shot one last glance at the ocean of sunflowers, looking for traces of white roses. A disappointed look crept across his black eyes and left as fast as it came when he failed to locate any.

"I've come to see the flowers you've grown, and catch up with you, ofcourse." He added with a faint smile.

Yuka's initially teeny smile exploded into a wide-set grin. "I see, I see! Well then, shall we get to admiring my pretties?" She quickly opened up her parasol and set off down the hill ahead of Courier, humming a strangely nostalgic tune.

Flower Land, was it?

"I've noticed something, Yuka."

Yuka and Courier were now leisurely strolling through the expanse of sunflowers, with him tailing behind her like a dog.

"Oh? I wonder what that would be~" Her tone was ridden with the pungent odor of sarcasm.

At least try to sound interested...

"...Well, I've seen nothing but sunflowers so far. What happened to the white roses I planted the last time I visited?" He asked worriedly.

Yuka closed her eyes innocently. "Ah~ those? I didn't like them as much as my babies, so I replanted them somewhere else."

Marisa's house, Forest of Magic, 13th day of Hazuki

Marisa let her jaw fall at the sight of the ocean of white that had mysteriously appeared infront of her house.

"WHERE THE HELL DID ALL THESE FLOWERS COME FROM, ZE?"

Courier looked down at the ground with defeat in his eyes. A simple "Oh." was all he managed to choke out.

He didn't have to say much more, however, as his stomach started rumbling violently the moment he lowered his gaze.

"Err..." He frowned and looked up awkwardly at Yuka, who simply laughed and stared back with those piercing red eyes of hers.

"Oh dear, it looks like even immortals need to eat, hmm?"

Courier couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Well, just wait right there. I'll fetch you something nice~" She said, walking back towards the hill her house was on.

Why would Yuka do something so selfless? This is suspicious.

"Wait, you don't have to-" Courier started.

"Oh, it's no trouble." With her back turned to him, she let out a wide toothy grin, exposing her trademark youkai fangs.

"No trouble at all."

Oh boy, I'm boned now.

Yuka returned several minutes later, holding a rather large pastry in her hand.

"Hear you go, fresh out of the oven~" She declared proudly, handing it to Courier.

He held the pastry up to his eyes and took a long hard look.

Yuka's smile faded slightly. "Oh my, what's wrong? After I went through the trouble of making that for you, you've gone and lost your appetite?" She said in a low tone, feigning offense.

"No, it's just..." He took a whiff.

"You didn't poison this with, say, suzuran or anything, did you?" Courier asked nervously, taking into account the flowery scent of the pastry.

Yuka held back a twitch. "Oh, ofcourse not, silly. What do you take me for?" She replied casually.

A beautiful sadist with a green thumb and questionable hobbies...

...Not like I would say that to your face, though.

"Well, whatever then. Itadaki~"Courier said, taking a bite. Unfortunately, he failed to notice the gleam in the youkai's red eyes and the perverse grin that was growing on her face.

Several minutes later-

"Ughhhh..." Courier moaned, lying on the grass with his hands to his stomach, kicking at the air every so often. His suspicions weren't far off.

The fact that his hat was no longer on his head and his unsealed white hair and glowing golden eyes were showing didn't seem to bother him at the moment, too.

What is this all of a sudden?... Very typical, Yuka... I wonder if you got that weird doll to help with this.

"Why the hell did you feed me suzuraAAAAaaAAn?"

"You don't visit me enough, so I'm punishing you~" Yuka answered cheerily.

"I visit you once aAAaaaAAAAA week!" Courier retorted with a futile tone. At this point the pain in his gut only allowed him to keep one of his eyes open, and his right eye's colour was beginning to shift to purple.

"Visit me everyday." She demanded with an expectant smile.

"You and I both know I can't do thAUGHHH!" Courier stopped short, feeling an imaginary sword cleave through his digestive tract.

CURRENT LOCATION: Kazami Yuka's bathroom, Kazami Yuka's house, Garden of The Sun

And that's how I got lily-of-the-valley poisoning.

Unfortunately, my immortality does not negate the effects of disease and poison.

This hurts like hell.

"So have you decided to visit me more, Courier~?" A voice called out from outside the bathroom.

Oh god no.

"Like I've been trying to tell you the last half hour, Yuka, it's impossible for me to visit more than once a week! It takes me several hours to get here in the first pla-"

Courier stopped short yet again, as a pale-pink parasol smashed it's way through the bathroom wall and flew straight for him.

Courier could only turn to snicker bleakly at the makeshift lance that was about to run him through as his instability began to take hold. "Aha, oh shi-"

The parasol impaled his chest and sent him flying through the opposite wall and onto the grass outside which, along with his now ruined shirt, was beginning to dye red.

In his temporary insanity, he found himself deliriously imitating a certain blue-haired celestial.

"It hurtsss, Yuka-sama~ It hurts so gooood~"

"Yuka-sama" walked out of the hole in the wall and beamed at the carnage she had caused. Rubble, gore and Courier littered the turf around her. Retrieving her now scarlet-stained parasol from Courier's body, causing more blood to burst out of his wound and mouth in the process, she callously repeated her previous question.

"Have you decided to visit me more, Courier~?"

Shoving aside the cloud of insanity in his mind and grinding his teeth from the horrifying pain in his body, he mustered enough will to point to the gaping hole in his chest. Red grass was visible on the other side. "Did you really have to go this far? This wound is going to take at least a week to regenerate. Why do you always have to be so vio-"

Yuka didn't wait for him to finish his lecture, and instead picked up his bloody form with one arm and tossed it clear off the hill and into the flowers below. All with the same vicious expression.

"DRAGON DAMNIT YUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

I decided to visit her more after that, if only to preserve what's left of my sanity and prevent more days like this one.

She wasn't like this a century ago...

Author's notes

Hello, I'm Courier Hazama, and this is my first submission ever on Fanfiction.

I'm full aware that there are a crap-ton of flaws in my current writing style, but hopefully I'll improve as I write, hmm?

I'm planning on writing more short stories centered around Courier in the future and adding them here, so stay tuned if you liked this one.

Feel free to message / comment me if you think of some kind of idea involving him, because I'm terribad and have writer's block 23 hours a day.

No joke.

Yes, my OC Courier is a prime example of a Mary Sue. Oh well. For those of you that wish to know more about his character, visit the Let's Danmaku Touhou Forum on FanFiction.