Disclaimer: I do not own Anything you recognize. this disclaimer will be used until the end of the story.
Hello Dear readers as we have seen and read in Harry's life he had a hard time coping up with the rules and life in general in Hogwarts and so to minimize the damage the future generation might encounter. I present to you this little guide...
Dummies Guide to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Foreword
This guide is created to help 'dunderheads' such as yourself survive the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
I wish you the best of luck! And see you in the next edition.
From the Author
Rule 1: Never make direct eye contact with Filch as like all prime apes they sense this as a threat to their well being.
Rule 2: If you see a fat cat lounging around, do NOT pet it. Don't even think of coming near it to give it some treats. (Doing so will only cause a week worth of detention and a hefty deduction of house points)
Rule 3: When you are in the dungeon never sit beside a Longbottom, unless you want to incurred the wrath of a Potions Master ( unless you're a masochist then it's totally fine)
Rule 4: If you see one of the Professors wear a turban, head directly to the Headmasters room. ( Do not forget to scream He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named name while running of course)
Rule 5: Never ever confront a Mountain Troll in the girls bathroom. Do it outside the school, preferably in the grounds. Be warned though, even if you do defeat the troll the Professors will still deduct points from your house. (They will promptly award the points back for 'sheer dumb luck')
Rule 6: If you see Professor Snape along the hallway, act like one of the statues. Research has shown that Dinosaurs particularly the T-Rex cannot see moving objects.
Rule 7: In Divinations Class, the answer to the "what do you see in the tea cup?" is ALWAYS death.
Rule 8: The Forbidden Forrest is strictly NOT forbidden. You can have picnics, play hide and seek, you can even hide your half giant brother in there.
Rule 9: Do not mention Filch's kwikspell, especially if he's within earshot. (unless you're a glutton for punishment)
Rule 10: The Shrieking Shack is not haunted by ghost, it was merely a home of a Werewolf every full moon and that that said werewolf would sometimes roam around Hogsmead with his friends a dog, a rat and a stag.
Rule 11: Trolls may be dumb, but they can sure whack you silly.
Rule 12: Ignore the pink frog woman. And you must not tell lies.
Rule 13: Always bring Lemon Drops when visiting the Headmaster.
A/N: And that's a wrap. Love it, Hate it? Tell me what you think… Please Review!