A/N OK guys, here's my latest one shot.
Not totally sure where it came from but it wouldn't leave me alone until wrote it down which took a tad longer than planned. (Nothing new there then! LOL).
It's my first attempt at writing a character death so I'll be interested in hearing your thoughts. Also, this is your only warning ;)
Huge thanks to ProfeJMarie and JMHaughey for their beta work. Two incredibly awesome women
"So," Angela Montenegro said as she sat on the edge of the bed. "How is life with one Special Agent studly?" She smirked at the woman in front of her, laughing outright as her best friend rolled her eyes.
"It's just fine Ange. The same way it's been every other time you've asked that question." Temperance Brennan settled back on the bed, her face stern even as she stifled a smile at her friend's antics. Six months had passed since the news of her pregnancy had been announced, and it had been two since she'd finally caved to Booth's pleadings and moved in with him andyet still, Angela persisted in asking how they were.
"Well Bren," Angela said with a small shrug, "I'm just making sure all is well in paradise. I'm looking out for my goddaughter there," she added with a nod in the direction of Brennan's protruding belly.
"I'm sure your godson appreciates it," Brennan said with a smile, more than ready to engage in the now familiar argument.
Neither Booth nor Brennan had wanted to know the sex of their child, more than happy to wait and be surprised. Angela, on the other hand, had long ago decided it HAD to be a girl because 'it's fate'.
"Oh Bren." Angela said with a disappointed shake of her head. "We both know it's going to be a girl. You know why?" She asked rhetorically. "It's fate! I can see it now..." She grinned at Brennan, her excitement almost palpable. "Michael playing in kindergarten, perfectly content with his own company as he paints. Just like his mum..." she added as an aside, pride in her voice just at the thought.
"Or playing with insects," Brennan added on a grin, dissolving into laughter at the glare she received from one unimpressed artist who chose to ignore her 'inflammatory' remark.
"When he looks up and sees...a vision in pink. A mini Temperance Brennan looking beautiful after being dressed by her favourite godmother." Angela sighed dreamily to herself. "And the rest, as they say, is history."
"We shall see, Ange," Brennan said smiling at the image Angela painted. "We shall see."
"Oh we will. Trust me, I'm an artist."
"I don't know what that means." Brennan looked at her friend with a confused smile.
"It means...never mind Sweetie." She patted Brennan's leg gently as she spoke. "And this conversation will become null and void anyway if she fails to make an appearance."
"Don't remind me Ange. Please. Four days overdue...I would really like to not be pregnant now. The baby has taken to sitting on my bladder so I am visiting the bathroom every two minutes. And Booth." She sighed heavily as she shifted on the bed, her movements slow as she sought to get more comfortable. "He jumps every time I so much as cough. The sooner this baby makes an appearance the better."
"Ah Sweetie, I can commiserate. But it'll be worth it, just you wait. When you have that little bundle of joy in your arms all the pain, discomfort...it'll be a distant memory. Mostly."
Brennan nodded in response to Angela's words but stayed silent, her mind racing as she thought about what was to come. She glanced away from Angela before looking back at her, a slightly sheepish look on her face.
"I just...I really can't wait to hold him, you know?" She placed a hand on her stomach, a soft smile lighting up her face at the feel of the baby kicking.
"Oh I know Bren. I know."
B&B
Special Agent Seeley Booth sat at his desk, pen in hand as he updated yet another report. Since he'd closed his most recent case a week ago things had been relatively quiet on the murder front and Booth found himself both relieved and frustrated. Boredom was setting in and he was anxious for something to really sink his teeth into but he was also grateful. Grateful because it made keeping his promise to Bones that much easier.
Six weeks ago he'd come home to find his partner having some sort of baby related meltdown. After many words and more than their fair share of tears Booth had finally discovered the reason for her distress and it had just about broke his heart. She was scared...terrified actually, that at some point in time he would be gone and she would be left alone. They both knew that he couldn't make her any guarantees. The job they did carried a significant risk, but what he could promise her was that he would do everything in his power to stay with her and the child they had created together. A hug and a few kisses later and all had been resolved.
Booth leant back in his chair and smiled, the memory of exactly what had taken place after he had calmed her distracting him. He let his mind wander, trying to envision exactly what his partner was up to. It didn't take much. The doctor had prescribed bed rest so he knew she'd be lying on their bed, probably accompanied by Angela who had taken it upon herself to keep Bones company while he worked. He would never admit it, but he was incredibly grateful to Angela for that fact. He didn't like the idea of Bones being alone, especially with the due date having been and gone. He had suggested he take some time off but Bones had vetoed that idea, making it clear that she was more than capable of being left alone. He didn't like it but, after one particularly nasty argument, he had given in. After all, he knew better than most to never argue with a pregnant woman. Particularly when that pregnant woman happened to be a beautiful, stubborn, genius scientist.
"Agent Booth."
Maybe I should call her? Booth thought, leaning further back in his chair as he pondered the possible excuse he could give for his call. She hated it when he rang to check up on her so...
"Agent Booth!"
The stern voice coming from his doorway caused him to jump. He sat up quickly, knocking some of the many papers on his desk to the floor. When he glanced at the man at the door his stomach dropped, even as he stood up.
"Sir. I was just..." He floundered as he searched for a viable explanation.
"It doesn't matter." His words were dismissed with a careless flick of the wrist. "I want you to forget whatever it was you were or weren't doing, and go and see Agent Lester in conference room one."
Booth stared blankly at his superior for a moment, his mind racing to catch up.
"Agent Booth! Was I unclear?"
Booth shook his head and forced himself to focus.
"No sir. I'll go right away. Sir." He added as an afterthought.
"See that you do," he said firmly before spinning on his heel and leaving Booth's office.
Booth stared at the space his boss had been standing in before he moved into action. He grabbed the files on his desk and locked them away before turning to leave, grabbing his jacket as an afterthought before heading toward the conference room.
He stepped into the room and froze for a second, the sight of a room full of Agents turning to look at him slightly unnerving.
"Booth. Glad you could join us."
Booth moved through the room to join the Agent up front.
"What is this all about Lester?" Booth asked. He glanced around the room, pausing briefly on the layout of a building situated behind them.
"Javier Hendes. You've heard of him, right?"
"Sure...big time drug lord. Who hasn't heard of him?" Booth asked, his tone impatient as he waited for his colleague to reach his point.
"Intelligence has come in to say that Javier has returned to our shores and is currently holed up in a building, right here in D.C." Lester said quickly, cutting to the chase.
"OK," Booth said, his brow furrowing as he tried to see the relevance to him. "You're narcotics and I'm homicide. What do you need from me?"
"Carson phoned in. Apparently, there's some kind of family emergency so we're going to need an experienced Agent to take his place. Someone who can keep hiscool if things don't go as planned and more importantly, someone to have my back. You were at the top of my list," He added with a grin.
"I'm flattered." Booth returned his smile, half listening to his explanation while his mind ran with the new information. He couldn't deny that his blood was pumping just alittle bit faster at the opportunity to be involved. Javier Hendes had been on the FBI's hit list for longer than anyone wanted to remember and the chance to be involved in his take down? It was very very tempting.
"We plan on moving in on the location in the next few hours. You in?" Lester asked, trying to keep the pleading in his voice to a minimum.
Booth thought about his promise to Bones for a second before glancing back at Lester. The battle raging internally within him was silenced as he met the excited glint in the other Agent's eyes.
Booth flashed a quick grin.
"I'm in."
B&B
"Ange, you don't have to babysit me. I'm a grown woman and more than capable of looking after myself. Regardless of what Booth may think."
Two hours later and Brennan was more than fed up with her friend's well meaning hovering. She just wanted some space to just...be. Alone. Was that too much to ask?
"Awww come on Bren. He just worries about you and wants you to be looked after when he's off chasing bad guys. You're carrying his child. I imagine you could give me some anthropological reason why his over protective instincts go into overdrive, right?" Angela watched her friend closely, careful to keep the smile off her face at the pout that formed on her best friend's face. Dr Temperance Brennan would claim she NEVER pouted but Angela (and Booth) could protest differently. It may be slight but it was definitely there. At Brennan's continued silence Angela allowed herself a small victorious smile. "Exactly Bren. Now...what do you want for lunch?"
"Marmite with pickles." Brennan said without missing a beat. Silence greeted her request and Brennan glanced up to find Angela staring at her. "What? I like it..." she said defensively.
"Hey I'm not one to judge!" Angela said with a laugh. "Marmite with pickles coming up!"
Brennan smiled gratefully as she watched her friend bound from the room. She sat back on her bed, allowing her mind to wander as she listened to the sounds of her friend pottering around her kitchen. No more than a few minutes had passed before she shifted uncomfortably, a slight twinge in her stomach causing her pain. It only lasted for a second before it disappeared, lulling her into a false sense of security before it happened again.
The first two times it had happened she was ashamed to say she had panicked. All sense of rationality had deserted her until it had been left to Booth to calm her down. This time though, she kept calm, the assumption that it was a false alarm again comforting her. She forced herself to stand, knowing by now that walking it off was the best way for her to find some semblance of relief. She walked around her bedroom slowly, the changes to her body making her movements slower than she would have liked.
She started to make her way back to her bed when she felt a shift in her body and something wet hitting her feet. She glanced down at herself, her eyes widening almost comically as reality hit.
"Angela?" she called shakily.
"Yeah, Sweetie?" Angela called from the kitchen, distracted as she hunted in vain for the marmite her best friend desired.
"It would probably be best if we made our way to the hospital now." Brennan announced, her voice sounding clearer as she neared the kitchen.
"Oh ok then..." Angela answered, Brennan's words barely registering as she continued to look for the elusive jar. She'd just opened another cupboard when she froze, her mind finally catching up to what her friend had said. "Wait..." She slammed the cupboard door shut. "What?"
"My water has broken and I'd really prefer to give birth in the hospital," Brennan said from her place in the kitchen doorway.
"Right...of course." Angela could feel the panic rising within her, made only worse by the calm her friend was emitting. "OK. You just...stay right there." She gestured towards her friend's current position. "Don't move. I'll...grab your bag and my keys and we'll be gone. Ok?" She didn't wait for a response and before Brennan could comment Angela had moved swiftly passed her.
Brennan stood in her spot, a small smile crossing her face as she waited for the inevitable return of her friend. Less than thirty seconds after Angela had left she returned, any semblance of calm gone.
"Where the hell is your bag?" She demanded.
"Left wardrobe, near the back on the right," Brennan said, stifling her smile in the face of her less than calm friend.
"Right!" Angela said before disappearing again.
Brennan stood patiently, wincing at the sounds coming from her bedroom. She dreaded to think what state her bedroom would be in when they got home. Minutes later Angela returned, Brennan's hospital bag held above her head in celebration.
"Got it! Now...come come come, we need to get you to the hospital!" She clapped her hands together before moving toward Brennan to guide her to the front door, reminding Brennan eerily of Booth. Angela wrapped one arm around her friend while the other carried the bag, urging her slowly but surely towards the door.
"I can walk Angela," Brennan pointed out.
"I know, I know. Little miss independent, I get it." Angela replied, making no effort to remove her arm.
Brennan rolled her eyes once but said no more, allowing her friend to guide her towards her front door. If something so simple calmed her friend down somewhat then she couldn't find it within herself to complain. At the door Angela removed her arm, checking Brennan was ok again before opening the door. She was just about to close it behind them when Brennan coughed lightly, drawing her attention.
"Keys, Ange?" She questioned lightly, gaining some perverse pleasure in the comical widening of her eyes.
"Keys...KEYS!" Angela shouted, her hands roaming her body frantically as she searched. "Crap...I can't remember..." She pushed the door open again and ran back into the apartment. "Where the hell are my keys?"
B&B
"Booth...five minutes." Agent Lester said sternly before leaving Booth alone.
"No problem. I only need two..." Booth called at his colleagues retreating back before moving to pull out his cell phone. Ten brief seconds later he had the phone to his ear and was waiting impatiently for the call to be answered. A smile lit his face at a familiar voice. This is Temperance Brennan. His smile slipped as the voice of his partner continued. I am unable to answer the phone right now but if you'd like to leave a message I'll get back to you. "Hey Bones. I just wanted to check in...see how you're doing. I assume Angela's looking after you properly." He laughed softly to himself, imagining the look of indignation on her face at his words. "And before you say anything, yes, I know you can look after yourself but I'm playing my father of your unborn child card. I'm allowed to worry." His tone took on a more serious note as he continued. "Also I wanted to let you know I'll be home later than planned. No big deal, just stepping in for an Agent. I shouldn't be too late but I didn't want you to worry. And don't even try and deny it, we both know you worry about me." He fell silent for a second, wanting to say more but knowing she'd just roll her eyes at him.
"Booth...we need to go." Lester hollered from behind him.
Booth spun to face him. He held the phone away from him as he called back.
"What kinda five minutes is that? Jeeze...I'm coming I'm coming." He raised the phone back to his ear. "Gotta run Bones. Love you...See ya soon." He hung up regretfully before turning back to jog down the corridor, his mind switching from loving boyfriend to focused Special Agent in the space of a heartbeat.
Approximately 40 minutes later he found himself huddled around the back of one of the SUVs they'd travelled in, the woods surrounding them, their target's safe house residing just out of sight. He glanced around at the faces of the other Agents, seeing the same mixture of excitement and trepidation on their faces that he could feel himself. He looked briefly at Lester who stood beside him, giving orders left, right and centre.
"Davis, I want you and yours around back. The rest of you know your places, yes?" Lester waited for their nods of agreement before allowing one small satisfied smile to cross his face. Today was the day. "Booth, you're with me. Everybody move out and wait for my signal."
The group dispersed and Booth hung back with Lester, trying to quell the excitement he could feel building. It was always the same...the rush, the anticipation that came with a big bust.
"You ready Lester?" He asked as he watched him close up the SUV.
"We're as ready as we'll ever be. They'll never be another opportunity like this but yeah...I'd say I was ready. I've got a good feeling about this." He said with a quick grin. "Now it's time to move in...fingers crossed we'll be home for dinner."
"You got a hot date lined up?" Booth asked on a laugh, enjoying the brief moment of shared humour.
"Don't you know it!" Lester began to say more but was silenced by a voice on his radio.
"Everyone's in place, sir. No movement yet to speak of. Waiting on your signal."
Lester and Booth glanced at each other, all signs of their previous joviality gone.
"Stand by," he said into his radio. "We're up Booth."
The two agents moved together as one, making their way through the foliage around them quietly, bodies low and movements slow. Booth had his gun drawn, his eyes scanning his periphery as he went. He could just about make out a couple of their men in the surrounding area, their own weapons drawn as they readied themselves to move. As they reached the edge of the trees Lester stopped, signalling Booth to move forward first. There was a brief period of time where neither would be covered, the risk necessary to allow them to reach the front entrance.
Booth moved quickly, ensuring his stance remained low as he bridged the distance between the trees and the building. When he reached the building he stood with his back to the wall, raising one hand to signal Lester to move. In no time at all the other man was by his side and they shared a quick grin before sobering once more. The two agents edged towards the front door, one on either side as Lester began the long process of unlocking it. Through his intel he knew the kind of security Hendes had in place but it still took time to get through the barrier.
Five minutes later Lester heard the gentle click indicating the door was now unlocked so he turned to Booth, giving him a quick thumbs up. He lifted his radio to his mouth, eyes on Booth as he raised a hand to signal. Three. Two. One.
"Go. Go. Go!" He yelled into his radio before moving in, throwing the door open with his gun raised. Booth followed in his footsteps, swinging right as Lester swung left. "FBI. Nobody move."
Silence greeted them. Booth and Lester shared a quick glance before they moved further into the room, both men on high alert. They moved quickly through the first floor, meeting the agents who had entered through the back. One shake of the head signalled that they'd yet to meet anyone. Lester indicated they should continue the sweep in the remaining rooms and moved towards the stairs.
Booth followed Lester closely, his gut screaming at him as he moved. The rooms he'd seen downstairs indicated someone had been there, the remains of food and bedding being a clear indicator. The silence though, unnerved him. By now they should have heard...something. He reached the landing, moving left as Lester went right. First room. Empty. Second room. Empty. Third room...
"Booth!"
At Lester's shout he moved quickly, gun poised as he strode back down the corridor. He entered the room at the end and froze, taking in the sight before him.
"Lester, what the fuck?" he breathed incredulously.
Lester was crouched in the middle of the room, beside a slumped figure that appeared to be tied to a wooden chair. Booth moved forward cautiously, his eyes locked on the unmoving figure. He could see hishands and legs were both tied, hair matted in a bloody mess on one side. As he neared he could see that the figure was in fact male, with hair slightly too long and a face that was bruised and cut.
"Lester?" He called again to the Agent, his voice harsh as he demanded an answer. His colleague remained crouched, his hands running over the broken man in front of them frantically.
Booth took his eyes off themfor a second to glance around the room once more, noticing for the first time a wardrobe tucked away at the back, one wooden door hanging off its hinges. He moved towards it, the churning feeling in his stomach coming back tenfold. As he reached the wardrobe he looked back at Lester.
"Who is it?" he yelled, his nerves jittery as everything within him was screaming at them to get the hell out of there.
"It is..." Lester began lowly. "It was..." He corrected angrily. "My source."
As Lester finished speaking Booth swung the remaining door on the wardrobe open, his stomach plummeting as he looked at the contraption sat in the middle of the emptiness. Booth watched the numbers counting down, time seeming to slow down as he did. Three. Two. Booth sent up a silent prayer as he turned back to Lester.
"They knew we were coming."
One.
B&B
"WHERE THE HELL IS BOOTH?"
Angela and Cam exchanged a startled glance at the yell that came from their friend's room. Angela tried to nudge Cam forward but she refused to move, instead indicating with some enthusiastic hand movements that she wasn't going anywhere near the anthropologist at that time. Angela rolled her eyes before straightening, psyching herself up to see her friend.
"Wimp," she muttered to Cam as she passed, making her way into the delivery room where she'd left her friend.
"I prefer to think of it as my survival instincts kicking in!" Cam called after her.
Two hours ago Angela had rushed a surprisingly calm Brennan into the hospital, her own demeanour a lot less put together. It had only taken Angela yelling twice before a nurse had rushed forward, moving them to a private room as soon as she'd realised who their patient was. Unfortunately since that time neither Cam nor Angela had been able to contact Booth, resulting in their previously calm friend turning into a woman possessed. She wanted her partner and no amount of kind words from her well meaning friends could change that fact.
"I can't get hold of him either."
Cam turned at the sound the voice from behind her, frowning slightly.
"He's probably still working so has his phone on silent," she replied, forcing cheer into her voice.
"Two hours with no word? It's not like him, Cam," Jack Hodgins replied, a small frown on his face.
Ever since they had arrived they'd taken it in turns to go outside to contact Booth without luck. As much as they both were putting a smile on their face for Brennan (and to a lesser extent Angela) neither could deny that they were worried.
"Well, he normally calls Brennan on her phone, right?" She waited for Jacks hesitant nod. "Then maybe he has been calling but, since she left her phone at their place we don't know about it."
"And he wouldn't call us because...?" He let the question trail off, hating to dampen her spirits but unable to prevent himself.
"I don't know, ok?" Cam burst out.
The two fell silent, both lost in their own thoughts as they thought about the woman in the other room, and the man who should be there.
"Cam." Jack spoke up a few minutes later. "You called the kid, right?"
"Sweets? Yeah...about an hour ago." She answered, her brow furrowing as the same question ran through both their minds.
"Well," Jack began. "Where the hell is he?"
B&B
Lance Sweets walked through the doors of the hospital with a heavy heart, his gaze flicking briefly to the men on either side of him. He looked briefly around the room, the hustle and bustle of the hospital barely permeating his senses. He would give everything to turn around and walk back out, leaving the task he had to someone else. Anyone else. But he knew that, regardless of his longing to do exactly that, he wouldn't. He would never forgive himself if he didn't see it through.
"I'm...we're here to see Temperance Brennan," he said to the nurse when he reached her desk.
"And you are?" The nurse glanced up from her computer, her eyes widening briefly at the site of the three men whostood over her station. She watched as the man to her left stepped forward, reaching into his pocket with one hand as he lay the other on the shoulder of the man who'd addressed her.
"I'm Assistant Director Hacker, FBI." He held out his badge for her to view. "This is Dr. Lance Sweets and Agent Davis." He indicated the two men with him respectively. "We understand that Dr. Brennan was brought in earlier this evening."
"Right...let me check for you," she said, her interest piqued as glanced back to her computer, checking for the name they'd given her. A few seconds later she glanced back up. "Yes...she was brought in about two hours ago. She's over in the maternity wing. Looks like she's got herself a private room."
The three men glanced at each other before Sweets spoke up.
"If you could just point us in the right direction...?" He trailed off as she moved around from the desk.
"Why don't I just show you the way?" She asked, not bothering to wait for an answer as she walked off, assuming they would follow.
She led them through the hospital, taking them to the elevator and pressing the button for the third floor.
"So..." She began brightly. "You're all here to greet to the new arrival?"
Sweets listened half heartedly to the nurse as she prattled on, asking them this question and that. He was grateful for Hacker's presence, relieved to hear that he was more than willing to field the questions thrown at them. Lance understood that she was only being polite, showing an interest to pass the time but he wished that she would stop. Stop laughing. Stop smiling. Just. Stop.
"OK guys, this is our floor." She started to move out but paused as she felt a hand on her arm.
"I think we can find the way now thank you..." Sweets glanced down at her nametag for the first time since they had arrived. "Julie."
"Oh it's no problem." She started to say, taking one step forward.
"We'll be fine now," Sweets repeated firmly. He felt a twinge of guilt at the hurt look that crossed her face for a second, but he didn't think he could take her nonstop chattering any more. He watched as the mask of professionalism fell down over her face as she stepped back.
"As you wish. Left out of here, straight down the corridor and then take a right. There's a small waiting room there, and her room should be second on the left."
Sweets nodded gratefully at her, a poor imitation of his usual smile crossing his face before he spun on his heel and left, his two colleagues following behind him. He followed her directions, walking down the corridor swiftly while his mind raced. His head was a mess, words and sentences flitting through his brain, merging together as he fought desperately to find the words he was going to need to say. He turned right and took two more steps forward before he came to a halt. He could see Hodgins and Cam stood together, heads close as they murmured between themselves.
He felt the presence of his two colleagues behind him, jumping slightly as a hand came to rest on his shoulder.
"How do I tell them?" he whispered, cursing himself for the break in his voice.
"Dr. Sweets..." Hacker spoke from behind him, keeping his voice low to avoid the pair at the other end from hearing them. "I've told you...I'll do it. It's not your job."
Sweets spun around, his eyes wild as he shook his head.
"No," he burst out before taking a deep breath. "No." He repeated, projecting a calm into his voice that he was far from feeling. "I...want to do this. I need to, ok?" He waited for Hacker's nod of agreement before turning back. "OK." He said to himself before squaring his shoulders and forcing his legs into a forward movement.
As he walked towards his two friends he could feel his determination wavering, the feeling amplified tenfold as they turned at his approach, their smiles of welcome fading at the precession heading towards them. He came to a stop in front of them, his face expressionless as he faced them.
"Sweets?" Cam said hesitantly as she felt panic begin to set in, the looks on the faces in front of her chilling her to the bone.
"Dr. Saroyan, Dr. Hodgins" He nodded to them. "Is Angela with Dr. Brennan?" He asked them both. At their nods he gestured to the chairs behind him. "Shall we sit?"
"Sweets...?" Hodgins stepped forward, laying a hand on Cam's arm.
"Dr. Saroyan...Hodgins. Please sit down." He asked them again, a faint note of pleading creeping its way into his voice.
Jack turned and took a step forward before sinking into the chair behind him. Cam, on the other hand, couldn't tear her eyes away from Sweets face and stumbled backwards, hands searching desperately for the chair as she shook her head in denial at the words Sweets head yet to utter.
"It's. . .It's about Agent Booth."
B&B
"8 centimetres. Not long now." The doctor assured them both, a warm smile on his face.
"See...soon you'll have a beautiful, healthy baby girl to gush over and this will all be a distant memory." Angela smiled down at her friend, relived to see a small smile cross her face at her words.
"Or boy." Brennan corrected her before gasping, the next contraction hitting her hard. "Angie..." She squeezed her friends hand hard, nails digging into skin as the pain hit. "Where. Is. Booth?"
"I don't know sweetie. I'm sorry...I'm sure he's on his way. He wouldn't miss this for the world, you know that." She patted her friends hand lightly, ignoring the voice in her ear that echoed that very question. Where the hell was he?
"Can you..." Brennan paused again as she battled through the pain before she looked up at her friend with pleading eyes. "Call him again...please."
"But Bren, I can't leave you..."
Brennan shook her head stubbornly, her voice firmer as the pain dimmed.
"I need you to call him. Please..." The vulnerable tone to her voice broke Angelas heart and she nodded, reluctant to leave but unable to deny her friend.
She walked to the door, turning to catch one last glimpse of the anthropologist.
"I'll be two minutes. Promise."
When Angela returned, she entered resolutely, a smile fixed on her face as she rejoined her friend. Now more than ever she was determined to see Brennan through this next stage in her life, before she had to utter the words that would change her life in the most devastating way.
"Sweetie," She gripped one of Brennans hands in hers. "Are we ready to push yet?"
B&B
"Bren?"
Angela pushed the door of her friend's apartment open, her brow furrowing with worry as silence greeted her.
"Through here, Ange!"
She closed the door behind her before following her friends voice, eyes widening slightly at her best friends less than tidy living room. She stepped over the boxes lying about the room and headed down the hallway, stopping in the doorway of the bedroom. Her heart ached at the sight that greeted her. Brennan sat on her bed, clad only in her underwear as she looked at the crib stood next to her. Her knees were pulled close to her chest, arms wrapped around them as she rocked slowly back and forth. As Angela entered the room she saw the clothes spread across the floor and spilling out of the built in closet to her left. She ignored if for the moment and made her way to her friend, perching herself on the edge of the bed.
"Bren?" She called softly.
Brennan forced her eyes away from where her son was sleeping to look at her concerned friend.
"Isn't he beautiful? I know that, being his mother, I am more inclined to be biased but still..." She sighed softly and returned her gaze to her son. "I think he's beautiful."
"He is sweetie." Angela assured her. "He is but...Bren, you need to get ready."
"Hmmmmm...?" Brennan murmured absentmindedly, refusing to look away. "Oh. I've decided not to go. I can't leave Joseph." She stated firmly.
She felt Angelas gaze upon her but refused to turn her head, more than content to gaze upon her child.
"But Russ and Emma are coming over, aren't they? And Max will be here too to accompany us. Joseph will be in good hands and Brennan...you need to be there." Angela reminded her gently, loathe to push her friend too hard but knowing she needed to.
For a second she thought Brennan was going to ignore her but eventually she turned her head, and the pain in her eyes broke Angelas heart all over again.
"I can't Angela." She whispered. "I...I don't know what to wear." She gestured to the clothes strewn across her bedroom floor. "And I don't know what to say. How to act. And Ange...I'm so angry." One hand uncurled from her leg to hit the bed beneath her. "I am so angry with him. He's supposed to be here." She thought back to all the times she had asked him not to be himself. Not to be a hero. Her voice rose as tears began to fall. "Here. With me." She pointed one finger at herself. "With Joseph. But instead I'm alone. Again" Her voice broke, tears falling freely now. "And I'm so goddamn angry."
Angela stayed silent, knowing that nothing she could say or do would ease the pain for her. Instead she shifted on the bed, moving up to sit beside her friend. One arm came up to wrap around Brennans shoulders and she hugged her, grateful that her friend turned into her instead of away. She held her as she wept, shedding her own tears as they both mourned for the man they had lost.
The sound of the front door opening drew the attention of both women on the bed, their heads rising as they looked towards the door. Angela unwrapped her arms from Brennan and stood up, moving towards the doorway.
"Bren." She called before she left. "I'll be back in a minute, alright? That's probably just Max letting himself in."
Angela rushed back into Brennan's room after greeting Max, anxious to get back to the task of readying her friend for the day ahead. As she walked in she panicked at the sight of the empty bed, but as she glanced to her left she calmed again, exasperated at herself for the small overreaction.
"Bren...Sweetie?" She called, walking over to stand next to her friend. "What are you doing?"
Brennan turned her head to face her, a look of confusion on her face.
"I can't decide what to wear." She said before turning back, her gaze fixed on the items in her wardrobe once again.
"Oh Bren." Angela said softly. "Come...sit down and I'll put something together for you." She steered her friend back to the bed with a gentle touch, heart aching at the easy way in which her normally independent friend allowed herself to be led.
"OK." She said when she was back in front of the wardrobe, wincing slightly at the destruction before her. "Let's see what we can find."
B&B
Brennan sat in the middle of her bed wearing only an old, worn out t-shirt, pictures of varying sizes surrounding her. She glanced at the clock briefly before glancing down again. 9pm, and she showed no signs of going to sleep. In the last seven days she felt as if she had done nothing BUT sleep and she couldn't bring herself to close her eyes just yet. And, if she was honest with herself, she was afraid of what she might see if she did.
Temperance Brennan wasn't one to exaggerate, or make outlandish declarations. So when she said that today had been the worst day of her life she was deadly serious. It had been a day of sorrow. A day of tears. A day where all she had seemed to do was accept empty platitudes from relative strangers. Strangers who had felt the need to tell her stories. Stories about the man they knew. The man she knew. And she understood that it was her job to listen to them. And to smile. And to thank them for sharing their memories. Yet all she wanted to do...all she longed to do was disappear.
She knew the man they had gathered to grieve for. He was her partner. Her best friend. Her confidant. Her lover. And the last thing she needed was other people regaling her with their memories. She was trying so hard to cling to her own she was afraid that, if she thought of anything else for even one second, he would start to fade in her mind and that was something she would not accept. Something she could not accept.
The only thing that brought her a moment of pleasure was that she knew Booth would have been pleased. So many people had travelled to pay their respects and she had felt proud. Proud to see the crowds of people grieving for the man who had meant so much to them all. She couldn't deny though, that the amount of people had left her feeling a little lost, so many new faces being introduced that after a while she had stopped trying to remember their names. She had looked to Angela more than once, and would be eternally grateful to her friend. She had stood by her side and held her hand, her silent unwavering support all that had held Brennan together.
The sound of a cry piercing the air forced Brennan out of her memories and brought her back into the present. She moved carefully, ensuring she didn't crush a single photo as she reached into the crib. She picked up Joseph, his face scrunched up as he let out another wail.
"Ssshhhh..." Brennan cooed softly, hugging him to her breast as she rocked back and forward. "It's ok." She laid a gentle kiss on his head. "I'm here." Joseph quieted at the sound of her voice, his eyes drifting shut again as he drew comfort from her warmth.
She held him close, her arms unwilling to relinquish him so soon. She glanced at the photos still spread across her bed, her eyes landing on a pair of laughing eyes. She held Joseph to her with one hand as she reached for the picture, running her eyes over it as she fought back the grief she could feel threatening to choke her. She sat still, her son asleep in her arms as she thought of Booth. The few times she had been allowed to be alone her thoughts inevitably ran to him, her mind conjuring up images of how different things would be if he was with her. There'd be laughter instead of tears. Joy instead of sorrow. Comfort instead of pain.
Something wet hit the picture in her hand causing her to jump before she realised it was her own tears. It always caught her by surprise, the feel of tears running down her cheeks. She could go hours without shedding one and then suddenly her eyes would be overflowing, falling uncontrollably and no effort on her part could stem them. It could be over something so simple, a piece of clothing or a particular smell. Or she'd be watching Joseph and he'd look at her through his fathers eyes, making her miss him all over again.
Brennan shook her head to clear her mind and pulled Joseph closer to her chest before moving to stand. She glanced down at him once before turning and placing him back in his crib, staring down at him, a small smile touching her face as he opened his eyes again and blinked up at her. She reached down and stroked one cheek gently, her heart aching as his head turned into her touch. She forced herself to straighten up and turned back to the bed, a sad sigh escaping her before she bent and began to remove the mass of pictures that had been surrounding her. She stacked them neatly, ensuring a picture of him smiling up at her remained on top before she placed them carefully on her bedside table.
She crawled back into bed, tiredness coming over her so suddenly that she couldn't even move the covers over before she collapsed. She stared up at the ceiling, losing track of time as she tried to force body to shut down long enough to get some rest. She rolled over, one hand curling beneath her chin as the other reached up to grip the pillow beneath her head. As she tried to get comfortable her mind drifted back to a conversation they had had a long time ago.
"If I die, I want you to do me a favour."
"Well, you will die, Booth. It's inevitable."
"All right, whatever, Bones. When I inevitably drop dead before you, I'd like you to come out and, you know, spend some time and talk to me every once in a while."
"Well, I'll feel foolish knowing that you can't hear me."
"Promise me."
"I promise."
" Hey! There you go, huh? Hey, you agreed. I didn't think you would agree. Now, why did you agree?"
"I believe that if I pretended you were still here, I'd feel better for a moment..."
Brennan squeezed her eyes shut desperately, the sound of his voice in her head so clear that it shook her. She knew that Booth had meant her to visit his grave. To talk to him there but she wondered if maybe...maybe she could gain comfort from it elsewhere as well. She rolled back over, facing the ceiling once more.
"Booth." Her voice was a whisper in the darkness and she paused, feeling a tad ridiculous but unable to deny the small comfort that just saying his name brought her. "I..." She choked back a sob, her eyes closing once more. "I miss you."
A/N So...let me know what you think. Even if you hate me and are never going to speak to me again :)
I can take it...honest.
And now i shall go back to watching Star Wars. It's all about Han Solo baby!