Fans Can Be Ridiculous
Link decided that he would have to thank Zelda sometime. If it wasn't for her, he wouldn't have searched for the spiritual stones and he would never have met her. It had been a bit sudden when they first met but after time to think it over he'd realised that he loved Princess Ruto. He looked deep into her eyes and...
Fans around the globe stared at their screens in horror. Link and Ruto? It couldn't be. That's ridiculous. And yet here it was right in front of them. Shigeru Miyamoto would have to explain this to them. Almost every Zelda fan around the world took a trip to Japan to see him. They all gathered and demanded an explanation of how this could be.
Shigeru Miyamoto was woken up by a messenger.
"Sir, the fans wish to speak with you."
"Huh? What do they want this time? Spoilers for Zelda Wii? A complete time-line of the series? Haven't they worked out that there's no such thing? Don't they know that I only say things like that to keep their small brains happy?" he demanded.
"It's about Ocarina of Time."
Miyamoto groaned. "Ocarina of Time? That came out 12 years ago! Send them away."
"We already tried that sir. We've had two men die so far."
"Ugh... Fine. I'll go speak to them." He went out to see the fans. A translator explained that they were all angry about Link and Ruto falling in love in their copies of Ocarina of Time. Miyamoto sighed. Of all the things they had to bother him for, it was a trivial matter that only affected fan fiction writers. The translator said that the fans wanted to know why Link and Ruto were getting together. Miyamoto put on a fake smile and simply said, "Well, he did promise to marry her."
"Those stupid fans! What makes them think they have the right to say who I should love? If they want me to love Zelda or Malon then they can go write a crappy fanfic about it!" complained Link.
"Um... Link? I hate to break it to you but this is a fan fiction." said Ruto.
"Oh. Well, the point is I am my own person. Only I can say how I really feel."
"Actually, you're wrong there too. The reason you're called Link is because you're supposed to be a link to the world for the player."
"Really? Well, that's disillusioning. I should probably shut up before I ask something else and learn that Hyrule isn't real or something shouldn't I?"
"Well, actually..."
The End